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 Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 11:57 pm
LOL @ D.
Oh and X. I love you even more now. :3 heart
Onto my rant.
D8< YOU STUPID b***h. If you are BLEEDING for three months STRAIGHT get the ******** shot. I understand the last two times you got the ******** shot you got some little blood clot (the other four times you didn't), and now you're afraid of getting a ******** blood clot... but... DAMMIT. If you DO NOT go SEE A DOCTOR you are going to end up in a hospital because of your THREE MONTH SOLID period that could have been stopped from a shot. I don't know about anyone else, but if my period lasted longer then three months (and the shot wasn't available for me) I'd.... go INSANE and probably cut the damn girl parts out of me. I mean, this is ridiculous. You've been through this six times? You just like to wait and make people worry like crazy over you. You keep hoping its going to get better but lets wake up and face reality, after about a month of bleeding straight, and you've had this problem before, it ain't going to lighten up until you get the shot. In a month I'll probably miss some test or something taking your sorry a** to the hospital because you didn't fix it now when you're entire family TOLD you to because you're being a ******** chicken. Yes. I understand blood clots are dangerous but HOLY CRAP THREE MONTHS. DAMMIT WOMAN.
Again, that's one of the things I HATE about you! "Maybe Someday" is your motto. Whenever I ask to go someplace with you you always say, "Maybe next time" even though its right there. Don't you realize I could step outside and have a heart attack or die before we get to eat at that place? Or get that Chai Latte? Or check out that store? Don't you realize that I could walk to school and be hit by a bus... or you could die of bleeding to death in your sleep and you'll never taste wonderful food? You like your boring life. I don't. I require change. I understand you like to keep everything the same because you're AFRAID of almost everything. But that's okay, I don't hold it against you. You don't know any better... because you don't TRY.
I bet your sister mentioned that while in one of those famous arguments you two would get into before she died. That you're afraid of change. Don't you know how much we worry about you because of this? I won't call you a spineless coward, but sometimes I can't help but think that. You only have this life to live once and then you die. Why waste it in pain? Why waste it by never trying anything new? Why hide away in your room all day? Why not fix something that can easily be fixed? Don't you want to?
= _ = Yeah sure, here I am ranting about that and... like... I have problems of my own to work out. But there it is again, I'm worried about you and you're making Grams worry and when Grams worries her health kind of goes down.... and I don't want that. If she gets sick because of you I'll never forgive you... because Grams is a b***h when she gets sick.
You can be a down right idiot sometimes. But hey. Another one is born every minute right? I don't blame you. Thanks for the Chai latte by the way. Haha our relationship is so ******** up. I like to think you're a seven year old trapped in a body that ages slowly... I'm sorry, but that's just how young and immature you are sometimes. Grow up for once hm? Act your age? Be a little bit responsible? I don't know.
No advice thanks. *sighs*
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 12:12 am
 *hugs Hisa then throws her in the backroom with X* your welcome... both of you ninja <******** FILLERS!!! scream see THIS is why i take so ******** long to watch an anime. Oh yeah its an awesome anime, but right when you get to the good s**t with all action WHAM!! a brick wall of utter bullshittery that has NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the story. What type of donkey s**t is this?!?! he just beat the guy that was kicking his a** for the past 25+ episodes now you want to put in FILLERS right before he has to fight the guy that's stronger than the one who was kicking his a**?!?! WHAT THE FLYING ********?!?! scream no advice and this goes to any anime... but right now its Bleach stressed totally different rant.. (Please excuse the nasty factor) Look man, i know she's your friend and we watched her grow up from when she was like 13, but i can't ******** stand her. She's a whore in every form of the word. I'm not going to go to her babyshower and pretend i wish her well.... I don't wish her well. I don't wish any bad to come to her, but i'm not going to act like i wish her well when i don't. I have no problems with her unborn or the "SUPPOSED" father, to be honest my heart goes out to both "father" and child. That b***h is so nasty she can open her own sperm bank when she opens her legs. So if that baby comes out light skinned, don't blame it on her genes. You and i know DAMN well she was ******** anything with a hard d**k. That poor sucker just pulled the short straw. Also how are you going to say bring my daughter to a babyshower that goes till 10? Yeah, there are other kids there, but those people who are the parents get on my ******** nerves too. I mainly go to your partys to hang with you and very few others we've been cool for so long. Everyone else acts like ignorant ghetto trash. That's one of the reasons i take those pics. Its partially my way of saying "Look how ******** a** backwards retarded you were because that new song by [insert bad rapper] came on and you were drunk" again i'm there to see very few people, but its hard to speak to them and have a good conversation when half of this damn town is crammed in one small space. And if she's pregnant she shouldn't be at partys where people are drinking and smoking even if she isn't going to drink and she doesn't smoke. You know how dumb people get, not that they'll try to hurt her; but they stumble, fall, and she's not very big and that baby look like its going to be a heavy weight. she will fall and that baby will get hurt. I mean COME ON MAN! She almost got raped because she fell asleep out on the patio with a bunch of horny guys. Me and I other guy was ready to bang out with 10 ******** dudes man; all for her stank a**. And your ******** right i'm going to draw on her while she's passed out. If it weren't got me she'd have been on Maury trying to find out who the father of that kid is. So no, i'm good. I'll chill home with my daughter and watch her play her game and be happy. I may not be the best father, but i know i'm years ahead of some of those ******** that're there. 
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 8:11 pm
I don't want to complain, but I just wish I could be in love... and be loved in return...
I don't want to sleep tonight, it doesn't seem worth it... going in my dreams just to wake up and realize it never really happened... wow, its already 11 and what have I done... I guess I shouldn't be complaining about doing nothing while I am doing nothing online... lol...
So prom won't be the same without him, and tomorrow he will confess his feelings to the girl he likes, and then what? she says we have next year, I say it won't happen... even in a year...
Change, can I change? I want to change, but can I? Tomorrow is a new day... starting tuesday what will I do to mark this new day?
*shh* its a secret...
tuesday, wednesday, and thursday... three days...
*shh* its a secret...
And then I will party in vain without him on friday...
his smile over the table... gone...
his dumb laugh... gone...
But it will be fun... a night to remember...
or so they tell me so...
[no advice needed]
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 8:25 pm
To X: I don't know if a girl already said this, but sometimes when a girl brushes of a compliment by saying "Yeah right..." Or something along those lines...it means that shes wants to hear it again. I was like that, When I finally got a boyfriend, he would compliment me, it took me along time to realize that I wasn't as ugly as I thought I was. If your complimenting a girl who seems like she hardly ever is complimented, your helping her, if you sound sincere. I was so self conscious until, finally one guy had enough courage to ask me out. It changed my high school life.
I'm sorry if this doesn't help you, but know that no girl doesn't somehow gets touched by a compliment. Unless its incredibly cheesy without intention. =P Or unless shes a whore who gets it all the time.
A compliment a day keeps my self confidence at bay.
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 2:45 pm
Maybe this is why it's unadvised for the girl to ask the guy out. Maybe it's just that I have expectations that are too high. Maybe I just don't understand.
Maybe maybe maybe.
There are times where I feel so loved, and then there are times where I feel like he doesn't really like me, that he's just being nice and pretending so I won't flip off the deep end.
Then there's the problem that he has so many female friends; I'm never really sure if they're really just that--"friends". Sure, he acts like my boyfriend and all, but like I said, I worry that it's just superficial.
I give hints all the time. When I feel sad, I want to be comforted. When I feel lonely, I want you to be there.
I don't always want to have to say something directly to make you do it; it shouldn't have to be that way. I understand that maybe it's because I read too many shojous and such that I automatically think of the deeper meanings and that you might not, but really...time after time? Maybe it's just too early. Or maybe you think you're giving enough, but I want more.
There are the guys who give their girls compliments every other hour, there are guys who bring them flowers and chocolates, there are even guys who go over every now and then simply because they want to be with you. I understand everyone's different and I love you for who you are, but I've been feeling lonelier than ever lately. I don't want you to completely change yourself; it'd just be nice if you did it now and then. It doesn't even have to be all the time; I'd settle for once every two months.
And now back to the "friends" part. You compliment other girls, so why not me? Is it because that because I'm your girlfriend, it's assumed? Trust me; I don't feel very special when you're off praising wenches left and right and I'm left sitting there like a mute statue. And why is it that you talk to them more? I always seem to walk in when you're into this deep, fun, conversation. You laugh all the time with them. So why not me? Just because I'm your girlfriend doesn't me I don't need that.
You're so oblivious some times. I hint and hint and hint; I'm just this short to screaming that I want some love and attention.
Maybe that's the problem; maybe I'm just greedy for attention. But I just want to spend time with you; I wouldn't mind so much if you were doing other things, but most of the time, it's because you're talking with other girls and I just don't know what to think anymore.
I'd like to feel special and loved and not like some annoying prat that's always bothering you. I've begun to really think that maybe sometimes (most of the time, lately..) you just don't like me. You're too nice like that; you don't want to hurt me so you pretend. But if you're really just pretending, I'd much rather hear it from you straight. Like they say, I can't force you to love me, so if you don't, just tell me. Or maybe I'm just overthinking this too much because I have a knack for over-analyzing s**t like this, but please. Tell me what it is, because I'm slowly dying here.
Sure. Give me some advice; it might stem my over-bearing depression.
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 3:22 pm
-hugs Seliece.-
-PMs her.-
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 7:08 pm
*does the same for Seliece*
If it's any consolation... I think you're beautiful... and I'd bring you flowers and chocolates. ^^
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 7:33 pm
*hugs Seliece*
*takes a deep breath*
Dammit Mom and Dad! I just came back from the Doctor and called you up to tell you what's up and you disregard everything I say like its nothing. Well guess what! Its most DEFINITELY something! The Doctor is 90 percent sure that that growth on my neck is a tumor. Ha! Oh, no, its okay, its not attached to any of the organs. Oh no, its okay, its benign. Oh no, its okay, its coming out! I have one of two options! I could get a referral to another place and get it taken out or wait six months and watch it until the clinic opens up their special surgical branch and I can get it taken out there at a CHEAPER price. I chose the second and here you go telling me not to get it removed at all like its nothing. Here you go again thinking you guys know all~! Guess what! Its coming out. I don't want to hear that you've had things taken off before because those are different then mine. How dare you tell me to wait until I get insurance! That will take years at this rate! I mean, lets look this over, you've denied me the freedom to get a job, you've denied me the freedom of getting a car (which I don't mind seeing as how we couldn't and still can't afford it), you've denied me pretty much every freedom I can think of. At least allow me the freedom to choose when to remove growths from my stupid body! Dammit! I can't believe how full of yourselves you can be! Yes, I know you're trying to not worry by completely ignoring the facts, and you're trying in your own way to make me feel better, but guess what. I'm fine. I'm not worried. I'm not scared. It can't spread at the moment, if it gets bigger I'll get it taken out sooner then six months. But its going to be GONE within those six months. I'm NOT waiting until I get out of college to get a job and THEN get it taken care of because I CAN'T wait that long. Trust me for once on this one.
No advice thanks... and Sarena I swear I will throttle you if you show this to Mom and Dad. I love them very very much and I don't want them to be mad on top of being overly protective. Mom and Dad are NOT nice when they are mad, I need my space and I'm giving them theirs. *sighs* One day they're going to have to wake up to the fact that I'm not a child. I'm growing up and making my own decisions. They have three other kids to worry about but me, and yet because I'm their first born they want me to be perfect... well I'm SO sorry I'm not! This is what you've got Mom and Dad. Sorry if I disappoint! 8D
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 2:34 pm
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
好
ç—›
Dx
;____________;
no advice... just a pillow, please...
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 3:53 pm
Yan Xin oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
oww oww oww oww oww oww oww oww
好
ç—›
Dx;____________; no advice... just a pillow, please... *gives overstuffed pink fluffy pillow and a hug*
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 4:56 pm
Nudge Nudge *gives overstuffed pink fluffy pillow and a hug* Thanks, Sho... -hugs.- Dx -curls up and naps on the huge pillow.-
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 5:27 pm
*spazflailheaddesk*
WHY DO I HAVE TO WORRY SO ******** MUCH ABOUT EVERYONE!?
*slumps on the desk*
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 7:18 pm
So close, his touch, so warm...
the feeling...
I know, I know...
It was acting, just acting...
but then why did it feel so real..
he always does that...
makes things REAL...
and then there is the other...
his newness...
his pose against the wall...
it turned me off...
but then he smiled...
damn it, I hate when boys smile...
they pull you in...
you can see it in their eyes...
and then you melt...
So I helped out with my drama club today, even though the play is only for seniors and alumni... It was fun, I loved it, but I get so intimidated, being so young, so mistake ridden... But it was fun, I learned, I grew, and now it is late... Mom is tired but happy... In other news this boy is trying to suck the life from me, I am a happy person who likes to help and tries her best... but I make mistakes... ANYWAY so this guy causes me to be mean and yell and curse and be filled with anger, and I hate that... I try not to let what he says get to me, because it is all crap... he makes things up... he says I attack him when I tell the truth... but it is only the truth, and it isn't even mean truth, it is helpful truth, the kind people give to HELP... and I ignore it, I do, but it always comes back... they always come back, him and his girlfriend to piss me off... they say something and bam... but I do it in silent so they don't get that satisfaction... no I will not give it to them... AHHHH.... scream
Ok I feel better know...
<3 lily
[no advice needed but you can comment if you want]
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 7:51 pm
...don't lie to me.
Don't think this needs advice, but a hug would be nice.
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 9:44 am
... oh god, I feel horrible.
*hugs Bry*
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