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What are your thoughts on critiquing?
YES!!!
48%
 48%  [ 47 ]
Eh...
49%
 49%  [ 48 ]
NO!!!
2%
 2%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 97


Onamisaki

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 4:17 pm


[[What? I'm confused!!!!!!!!! How were you able to edit my post?]]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 4:20 pm


((I didn't I posted a new one and yours was above mine. I don't know where yours went, the one with the red text right?))

RayneTree

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Kind Stranger

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 4:27 pm


"Decoy?!" Kin's open palm clenched stiff, and after a small puff of smoke he came back into his original form, quite disappointed. He gritted his teeth as he crouched back, "WE'RE purifiers!" he exclaimed, pounding his fist on his chest, "The gods and goddesses made us to destroy those that call themselves the homo sapiens, the most dominant species of the world," a malignant smile crossed his face as he cassually began to talk once again, "I can't believe you DON'T know that, given that you're one of us."
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 4:50 pm


Masaru was sitting in a room full of broken bodies, reclined against a wall. The voice roused her from a post-rage peacefulness. 'Purifiers? Decoys?'

She shrugged these thoughts off. She wouldn't necessarily believe some random voice that appeared in her mind. It made sense though...in conjuction with what the strange beings she had met earlier had said. It also would make sense with the timing of her own rage. She concentrated, deciding her next move. She would have to move on...she always did. She felt no particular pull to go anywhere in particular. She had no family left to destroy that she knew of.

She raided the house for food and then found the bathroom. She calmly rinsed herself of blood. She had a scratch on her cheek from a shrew's carving knife. She scowled, angered by her own carelessness. She didn't bother to treat it, but instead let her face waver for a second. She felt herself lose her sense of sight, smell and taste as she temporarily rested her face. It had been so long since she had reverted to facelessness...she quickly reformed her young female human face again. She knew she should change it for safety's sake, but she had always used it. She was accustomed to the pale yellow gaze staring back at her from the mirror. This was the face her entire family had screamed at, scorned and blamed.

She quickly let go of that track of thought, shouldered her backpack and left. She aimlessly wandered out of town, wondering how long she would be left in peace before she came upon one of those rage-inducing creatures again.

duckie_mamoru


ToasterKii

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:00 pm


((I had to go make dinner. wich just made the kitchen dirty all over again. crying ))

"Suprisingly, I did sleep well." Izzy replied, heading towards the kitchen. She opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. She made her way to the living room, sat on the couch so she could possibly have a somewhat normal conversation. "so, where are we anyway?" she asked, screwing the top off the bottle, and soon after taking a drink.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:09 pm


"Chicago." He said simply. He leaned into his chair even further and let in envelope his body. "This is where I live when I'm not abroad, killing, things." He said it so matter of fact like that he even scared himself. "I'm a defender, and it's my job to protect people like you, well, Mortals I mean."

It had been so long since he had held a conversation with someone other than a Purifier or Elf, it was overly refreshing and he felt himself relaxing even more. "With the gold I get from the Palace I can get cash and afford to live wherever I please. but this city was low key, and seeing how it is so big, it's more difficult for my whereabouts to be tracked."

The water bottle he held in his hand was very cold to the touch, perhaps his fingers were going numb, he did not know. For him to feel pain in this realm was difficult, but that didn't mean he was invincible.

"Maybe later when it cools down a bit we can go out and get you some more, feminine items for your room. I'm sorry, but when we bought this place....." he trailed off. There were some things he needed to keep a secret, otherwise he would relive the past and be heart broken all over again. "Anyway, I packed up a lot of the decor that used to be in there, so we can go get more, it's not a problem, after all, if I am to train you, you have to at least be comfortable in your surroundings I think."

((Don't worry about it, I had to eat mine. My kitchen is dirty to, but not horribly so lol))

RayneTree

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ToasterKii

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:24 pm


Izzy almost spat out her water when he spoke. She closed her eyes and swallowed before sasying, "First, where the hell is Chicago?! Second, what do you mean, 'abroad killing things, third what in the wide world is a defender and fourth, if you're not.. mortal.. then, what are you?" That was pretty much all that she had heard, and her eyes were wide with fear. 'did I just follow another crazed killer? would it have been safer to stay at my home?' a multitude of questions quite similar to those flew through her head.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:27 pm


Iori walks out of his half destroyed apartment, and he feels as if his blood is boiling over. His anger and rage starts to consume him as he scans the horizon. He growls and snarls at the world around him as his rage grows. He lifts his arms up in the air his rages constantly increasing and along with it his strength. The purple tinted flames of the Yagami clan shoot upwards as he screams at the top of his lungs making the whole world know he was there.

IoriYagami00


RayneTree

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:42 pm


Nendir wasn't surprised when she asked him a barrage of questions. They were to be expected, but he didn't think she would of been so surprised to find out he wasn't a Mortal, after all, she had stepped through a portal that formed out of nothingness. "Well, Chicago is in the United States, it's a city in Illinois." He didn't know how else to explain it more simply.

He placed his half empty bottle of water on the glass top table that was positioned next to his chair. He looked her in the eye, so she could read his gaze, he wanted her to know that he was telling the truth. "I kill Purifiers. They were beings placed on earth to seemingly rid the world of Mortals. They kill without mercy and without biased. They think all Mortals are evil, conniving beings that are worthy of a quickened extinction. I on the other hand, am a Defender. Most Defenders were once Purifiers, but they saw the love in the world and knew it was worth fighting for. I am not from the gods of this realm, but I am Charged with being a Defender."

He took a pause, knowing that she had to sop up everything he was saying before he continued on, because now, at least he thought, it would start to become far fetched from her. "Her High Majesty, the High Queen of my realm, decided long ago that Mortals needed more help than they were given. She knew all Purifiers couldn't and wouldn't be turned, and that the Mortals needed beings of pureness to fight for them. So, when I was young I was sent to fight in Her High Majesty's crusade. I was trained in hand to hand combat, the art of the sword, and...Magick."

He did not break her gaze, and it was if by his will she had continued to stare into his. "When I was 20, I was sent here to fill my duties as a Defender. I have been in this realm for more than seven years, fighting the good fight, riding the world of the Purifiers that manifest the gods hate of Man Kind. Now as to what I am, the appropriate Mortal word for it would be Elven. I am an Elf." He leaned back in his chair and watched her closely, wondering how she would react.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:01 pm


Izzy sighed and closed her eyes. 'well, that tells me the portal, wasn't a figment of my imagination..' She clutched her dragonfly pendant again. "what kind of messed up life have I stumbled into.." she muttered. She opened her eyes again, and screwed the top to the water, on the water and set it on the floor by her feet. Her life had seemed to spin out of control when her biological parents died, but it had righted itself again when she was adopted by the Harrison's. Her life was spining out of control again, and she doubted that this time it would right itself.

ToasterKii


IoriYagami00

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:20 pm


Iori starts to wander off as his rage slowly withers away for the time being. He wanders onto a long broken, torn up road, not knowing what is it or where its going to lead him. As he walks a chill crawls up his spine as paranoia starts to overwhelm him, as he looks behind him every few seconds as if someone or something is watching him.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:42 pm


((I'm having a row with my BF. Apparently Im "Pissing him off" by me being sick. SO I'm going to go lay down. Pen I'll reply when I come back. And to the guy above me, write in third party. From an observers point of view like everyone else >.>))

RayneTree

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ToasterKii

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:47 pm


((mmk's.))
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:58 pm


Masaru came upon a very old looking tree. She stared at it for a while before rudely breaking off a long branch and settling under the shady leaves. She started shredding off the old wood with her knife, until she was left only with the hard, barkless core. She began trying to sharpen it into something useful. Since her confrontation earlier, she had felt extremely under prepared. It had been her first time meeting any non-Human other than herself. Once it was extremely sharp (for a random bit of wood), she tested it on her hand. It drew barely the finest line of blood. She made her hand stich itself back together.

Not good enough, she decided, throwing away her makeshift spear. She frowned. Sometime it was extremely inconvenient, being made a creature of rage rather than magic. The only thing she held any magic over was her own form.

An idea popped into her head. She concentrated on one of her fingernails until it formed into an extremely sharp point and elongated. She tore it off of her finger, cursing, and molded it into the blade of her knife. It fell off. She cut her hand again and allowed a bit of her blood to spread over the blade. She stuck the nail on it again. This time it stuck.

Hm. Interesting. I wonder if it'll actually do any good though...?

She concentrated on the nail as if it were still on her body, willing it to pierce the tree she leaned against. It did.

She smiled as a new nail began to grow on her finger. Still not quite good enough...but it'll have to do for now.

She pulled her knife from the tree and leaned against it, watching the sky through the leaves as she pondered over how to use this new information. Her mind also began slowly to drift towards the questions she had been trying to ignore....

Are there more purifiers?

Having destroyed my family, should I have some goal in mind?

Why have I been thinking so much lately? I suppose...something is happening in the world. Somehow I've been part of it this whole time without meaning to.


She frowned at this. While she didn't like the idea of her fate being controlled, she couldn't hate it as much as she wanted to. After all, she was supposed to do the only thing she had enjoyed for about two years: kill humans. Why argue with that?

Masaru squirmed irritably. She was tired of all this thinking. She stood up and started walking down a nearby road, clearing her mind and concentrating on the sounds around her.

[[OOC: This is way, way too long...and my character is doing too much pondering. This is basically a temp. filler til I have something more interesting for her to do. razz ]]

duckie_mamoru

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