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 Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 2:46 pm
I didn't know he was a moderator but alright.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 2:50 pm
I'm not bothering the moderators with a profile-related message. I'm merely asking questions, seeing as I am new to the guild. I cannot post in the role play until I know if the guild uses some type of squad system and/or what my squad assignment is.
Syu, I'll take a look at your profile sometime this evening. I cannot do so at the moment.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 2:59 pm
At this point in the RP, the different units are fairly scattered across the unknown construct. People landed next to others from different units, etc. Just link up with marine personnel and figure out where to go from there.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:03 pm
Alright. Thank you for your assistance. I'll be posting in the role play within the next twenty-four hours, I think. Just need to finish reading up on what I've missed.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 4:55 pm
Well I just checked up on the Prowler on Halopedia....and well, let's just say it would be very....very difficult to ambush one, since the turret on top is capable of turning a full 360 degrees, and the gunner is always checking everything around him.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:04 pm
True, but in an ambush situation, especially at our range, it might prove difficult to keep up
Plus, not all the prowlers were fully manned, and the Brute's aren't particularly smart to begin with
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:24 pm
Syu, I'm going to take a look at your profile right now. I'll let you know what I think in a minute or two, once I've read through it.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:46 pm
Interesting that you're checking someone else's profile York. Very interesting.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:56 pm
Alright, Syu. I hope that the following profile review isn't too harsh. But I'm simply correcting the things that I know the moderators would correct.
Firstly, you'll want to specify whether your blood type is A+ or A-. You simply say "A" which is not really a blood type. Need to be more specific there.
Secondly, in your physical description, you do not say anything about hair length, and you don't state exactly where your tattoos are located. You simply say they are on your arms. Obviously I haven't been here long enough to know how strict the moderators are when it comes to precision and descriptiveness, but I think it'd be a good idea to be more specific there. You mention some scars caused by knife wounds, but you should note that the Covenant tend to use plasma-based weapons (such as the Energy Sword), rather than combat knives. For example, my character has a blueish-gray scar caused by an Energy Sword. Energy Swords are plasma-based, thus the reason for the blue tint to the scar. So you may want to mention how the Covenant came to use knives against you in battle. If you received the scars while battling insurrectionists, be sure to specify that.
Thirdly, you may want to be more descriptive about how you came to grow up on the streets, what made you decide to become a bouncer at a club, and why you agreed to join the UNSC after you finished your jail time. One thing that doesn't make much sense to me is this: You say that he was recruited to the UNSC, but then you say that the recruiter said, "We needed more soldiers, even a brutal b*****d like you." However, recruiters tend to use bullshit statements like, "You'd make a great soldier!" and "Who knows, you just might make a great officer someday!" You know, stuff that would drive the potential soldier to join up. Therefore, the fact that he was so disrespectful, and then you joined anyway... doesn't really make sense. That is not how a recruiter would behave, and I don't really know why your character chose to join the UNSC after the recruiter treated him so poorly.
Fourthly and finally, you may want to run the whole thing through spell check and grammar check. There were a few spelling and grammar errors. A few run-on sentences and a few sentence fragments that didn't make sense to me.
I hope that my review helps you.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:58 pm
Um... Hegemon? What is that supposed to mean? Syu asked me to review his profile, and so I did so. What's wrong with that?
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:00 pm
It's just that Crew tends to review the profiles, not other members. It struck me as a bit odd as well.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:06 pm
It's not a review. Syu just wanted an opinion on his profile before he requested his Marine Test. The formal review will be conducted by the moderators, as usual, but I was simply giving my thoughts, since he asked for them.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:10 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:12 pm
Well I hope that my actions were not viewed as inappropriate or disrespectful. I was simply doing a favor for a friend. I did not intend to overstep my bounds.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:16 pm
Hmm, that's helpful...and I did think something might have sounded wrong with that last part with the recruiter, although Criid could consider that a compliment, as for the knife wounds, those were recieved on Earth in the earlier part of his life.
So should I check on word because I don't have spellcheck on the internet?
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