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Leaning back again, tea in both hands, Sak smiles drolly at Nyl. "Nothing gets by you, does it? I wasn't just talking about the tea, no, and I would never call you bitter...no, you're as sweet as the day I met you." Eyes half closing, Sak stares down into his tea for a moment, as if trying to find an answer in the depth of the cup. "I guess....I was referring to life....our life, in particular....I can't help but be happy whenever I'm near you, and the knowledge that there is life, and love, and light in the world; its hard to stay sad, like that. But.....there's always the undeniable presence...of a little bitterness."

Sighing again, Sakiyn sipped his tea, looking up to the cieling. "I know, Nyl, and I don't want to push it, because I don't know either...but its not just about our relationship.....now, everything..." He shook his head a bit, before looking back to Nyl, with a small, sad smile on his face. "It's everything in life, Nyl; everything I used to experience with unreserved joy, everything thats still full of light and life...everything leaves just a little bit of bitter aftertaste, now."

Sakiyn looks flatly at Nyl, eyebrow raised, before chuckling a little. "Hmm, you seem intent on pinning yourself as the sole cause of all my troubles. Nyl...my life with you may be affected by these feelings, but you will never be a source of anything but joy and content in my life. I have..other things, to blame for my failure to fully enjoy life, now..." As he finishes, Sakiyn looks down to the side a bit, an unfocused, but undeniably more than a little bitter expression on his face.

Leaning forwards, sipping from his tea, Sak sits back a bit, forearms on the table, and looks at Nyl with a blank face, no particular emotion on it. "I'd love to put those things behind me, and just go on and live my life, like before. But..it's hard to let go of something...when you still have the scars."

Setting his tea down on the table, his left hand loosely on the cup, Sakiyn's face now holds an even smaller, even sadder, smile, his right hand laid flat on the table. He looks at Nyl, shaking his head ever so slightly, and speaks, soft, very soft, but undeniably clear. "No..........no, I don't think you could."

Brow furrowing in confusion, Sakiyn raised his cup to his lips, sipping thoughtfully before returning the cup to the table, sitting rather straight. "Err...I don't think I know what you mean now, either...Well, I was mostly talking about physical scars, if it's any help; of course...there is also what they incessantly remind me of..." As he finishes, his voice lowers, dropping almost into a whisper. "Scars from hell....there, physical, spiritual...its almost the same. Scars to the body, scars to the soul...it's hard to tell the difference, anymore."

Sakiyn stared at Nyl, slightly wide-eyed, hands on his teacup. Then, his face bloomed with a wide, genuine smile. "I think....." He reached out his left hand, and gently put it to the side of Nyl's face, looking straight into her eyes. "That is one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me."

Again, Sakiyn blinked a bit, before realising what he was doing, and quickly taking his hand back, holding it in his lap with his other hand. "Well....because i'm left-handed?" Smiling still, smaller, but still not quite shadowed, he continued to look at Nyl. "And yes, it is destructive, and dangerous, and angry; and aside from how much I can appreciate destruction, of certain things at least....it's the very knowledge that you truly would be willing to do that, just for me....that is good enough to make me think that you could get rid of my scars, mental and physical...


(( "She resisted flinching from his touch"...thank you soooo much. stare ))