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 Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:13 pm
Cam sighed quietly and nodded, "That's probably it. I'm just not used to people knowing about me. I'm usually on my own, so not even anyone up there," he pointed up, referring to Heaven, "knows I exist because I was supposed to be dead."
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:55 pm
''They kill people in heaven? I wont let them hurt you Cam.You know I cant remarry anyone if God or somebody gets rid of you.No one can replace you,Camiji.I dont know what you did that was so bad that they sent you to Earth but maybe you could ask them if you could work off your dept someway.It doesnt matter to me what it is as long as you get to live.If they killed you,I would get so depressed that I wouldnt be able to function.I love my Camiji.'' Jean says,clinging to Cam's shirt as they walked.
They walk into a big room with a window,tv,table and a medium sized bed.The bed covers were blue with white dog bones on them.The pillow was white and in the shape of a dog bone.The room,like the rest of the house,had hardwood floors.The room was very clean and could easily handle another bed.It was a nice room.Jean sits on the bed and motions Cam to sit by him before laying his head in Cam's lap. ''Hey Camiji...I got a idea.Why dont you and me live here.We never really went to our classes at school anyway.Its not safe for you to be alone with Ryan since he wants to kill you.This would probably be a safe place to stay.This house is hidden by trees.You could sleep in my room.'' he says,looking at Cam.
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:53 pm
Cam sighed and shook his head, "That was when I was here. I was supposed to be killed during my last battle. I guess, I just didn't die? I would never leave you alone, love. I wouldn't leave you for the world..." he trailed off and sat beside Jean, tangling his fingers into Jean's hair once the younger boy laid his head on his lap.
He twirled a lock of Jean's hair around his finger, "I'd love to stay here with you, but I don't like to intrude in on people." he sighed quietly and rested his head back down on the couch, giving a sad smile up at the ceiling, "Do you wanna know why I wasn't allowed to return back to heaven and sent here to this academy?"
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:26 pm
A look of realization came on Jean's face."Oh,you mean when you were fighting Ryan.Well Ryan never did finish you off.Im glad that he didnt.Ryan could have forced you to take a drug that would kill you or something.Ryan is kinda creepy.He is jealous of you or something.Your not going back to that dorm without me.I have to protect you,Camiji.'' Jean says and lays next to Cam before laying on top of him and snuggling up under his chin then hugging him around his neck.He kisses Cam before snuggleing back under his chin.
''Thats kinda why I want you to stay here.Ryan doesnt know about this place.In order to find this house,he will have to look and sift through alot of heavy forest.They wont mind cause they have accepted you into this family.We even have a guest bedroom if you would rather have your own room.You have met everybody that lives in this house and there isnt anyone that hates you or doesnt want you to stay here.I mean Elliot likes you,Jack has accepted you,and Hoshi probably already knew that you would end up here.So its fine,your not imposing on anyone.'' he says
"Sure,tell me why.I like it when you talk about yourself and your past." He says
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:57 pm
Cam shook his head, "Not when I was fighting Ryan. That wasn't really a battle. The one before I ended up here I mean." he replied, nuzzling his face into Jean's hair and breathing in deeply.
Cam sighed deeply and wrapped his arms around Jean's waist, "Thank you. For everything, Jean. I love you so much hun." he murmured into Jean's hair, lightly nibbling on his lover's ear.
He drew back slightly and turned his head away, "I.... I wasn't allowed to return to Heaven after the battle because I killed my future wife whe I was going through one of those 'stages'. That's why I'm so careful being around you. I can still remember everything. It's like a recorder that you can't turn off," he ran a shaky hand through Jean's hair, "I remember those... those nightmares. The feel of that poor girl's flesh being teared by my hands. I remember Every. Little. Thing." he sighed quietly and swallowed before continuing.
"The Council of Angels decided that they couldn't trust me, so they banned me from Heaven and sent me here. That was when I started to take my anger and regret out on the others during the battles. I killed alot of people Jean, I don't understand how you could love someone like me. I'm horrible person that needs to be either restrained or killed. But I'm just so worried that this is going to happen to you. I... I just don't want to lose you Jean." he confessed quietly.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:49 pm
''Oh Camiji,Im so sorry that you had to go through that.Those stages mess with your emotions,Camiji.I can see how you could end up killing someone that way.When you go through one of those 'stages' ,you can break a hard wooden board and punch in a solid wall.Its not serprizing that you could kill someone during one of those 'stages'.But remember Camiji,you arnt doing it on purpose.Your body does that on its own.You cant control your strength or your emotions.You may have killed alot of people but if you hadnt killed them,they probably would have killed you.And even if they wouldnt have killed you,I still couldnt bring myself to hate you.I would just say that you did a very bad thing and you know better.'' Jean says,looking at Cam in his eyes.
Jean's eyes begin to water up as if he was about to cry but he rubs his eyes and calms himself back down.''When Im in my inu form,I cant tell whos my friend or my enemy.Im filled with my nature as a wild inu.Theres a difference between wild inus and normal inus.Normal inus are very docile.If they see a person,they run away and mind there own business.If a wild inu sees a person,they attack them and kill them for food.I can turn into a wild inu but when I do,I cant control myself.Im a wild inu but Elliot and Jack arnt.They are normal inus...kinda.Elliot has alot of super powers for some reason.Jack has a few super powers too.My uncles were wild inus.Its very hard for me to control myself when Im in my inu form.Luckly,I can only turn into that form when I get really angery and I turn back to normal if something really scares me or I get hurt badly.'' Jean says
Jean's eyes water up again but he wipes his eyes and calms himself down again.''The first time I turned into that form,I almost hurt Elliot.Jack couldnt even stop me.Hoshi had to use some magic to turn me back to normal.I would be upset if I ended up killing my family.'' he says,snuggling under Cam's chin.
''You are not a monster,Camiji.You have feelings like anyone else.All dark angels go through those 'stages'.So your not alone.Its just that you went through that 'stage' at a bad time.If you had known that you would have killed your future wife before that,I bet you would have took better measures to keep her safe and yourself safe as well.Had you done that,you would not be here nor would you know me.I would become Ryan's slave and would be tormented by him for who knows how long.If you had done that,I would most likely never see my brothers and they would probably continue to think I was dead.If you had done that,Ryan would keep me with him all the time.If I married anyone,it would have been Ryan because he forced me to,not because I loved him.I would never know what it feels like to be loved or love someone with all of my heart.You would have a better life but my life would be terrible.But the reason why your here is because you were in a 'stage' at the wrong time and you didnt take good safety measures basically.'' he says
Jean relizes something then quickly gets off of Cam and backs away from him alittle.A look of embarrassment appears on his face.''Your future wife...wouldnt want any of this to happen,Camiji.She wouldnt want you to love me when you were supposed to love her.She must be so heartbroken right now.You should be her husband,not mine.You should pray to the angels and beg them to unban you so you can go back to heaven and marry her.Im supposed to end up marrying Ryan or something terrible like that.I should go back to Ryan,he might be looking for me.Even though you ended up being sent here,you were supposed to marry someone else.We actually arnt supposed to love each other,Camiji.I love you but your future wife wouldnt want us to love each other.'' he says sadly then gets up. ''Im sorry,Camiji.I shouldnt have come between you and your future wife.'' he says before starting to walk to the door.
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Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 7:43 pm
Cam sighed and leaned back, running his hands through Jean's hair slowly, "It's hard for me to control myself as well. It seems like my vision turns red all of a sudden, like my eyes are bleeding or something, then I guess my warrior side thirsts for bloodshed. It's horrible, isn't it? It's like your body is it's own prison when we change and you can't do anything about it but watch. I hate it," he spat out the word like it was poison and turned to give Jean an apologetic look.
"I... punched through a wall?" he asked quietly. He groaned into Jean's hair and squeezed his eyes shut, "I can't believe that you would love me after I did something like that. But.... I'm glad that you do." he murmured.
He sighed and tightened his grip around Jean's waist, "So, your heritage is mostly Wild Inus, right? I wonder how come your brothers became more docile than you. And what do you mean when you said "super powers?" Does that mean you have certain abilities that other people of your species don't have?" he questioned.
A small, mirthless laugh escaped through his lips and he shook his head, "I am a monster, Jean. That was another reason why I was banned. I was uncontrolable, even Camael couldn't stop me, and he was one of the commanders of the angel Powers, the warriors. Killing Laylah, my future wife, was just the push that sent me away. I was going to be sent down here anyways. So you saying that I'm not a monster isn't true. I killed hundreds of angels, Jean. Ansiel, Balthioul, and Zophiel were my best friends and I slaughtered them during one of my stages. I forced them to fight me, even though I knew they wouldn't win. So you saying that I'm not a monster just puts more worry on my plate, love." he sighed again and closed his eyes. He seemed to be doing alot of that lately, and it was starting to piss him off.
Cam's eyebrows furrowed when he felt Jean's weight leave the bed and his eyes opened slowly. After hearing Jean's words, his hert thumped painfully in his chest. He's leaving me. Oh God, the look on his face... I didn't even tell him that I didn't love her! he thought rapidly and stood up quickly before running over to Jean and picking him up in his arms. He lightly dropped Jean on the bed and crawled on top of him, pressing a small kiss to Jean's neck.
"You didn't let me finish," he murmured against the soft skin of Jean's neck, leaving a small bite there, "I came out to her that I was attracted to men and not women the day I accidentally killed her. Besides, I knew in my heart that she wasn't my Destined. I think she knew it too. I came forth and told her straight that she wasn't my Destined, and that I was going to go search for my Beloved. I never ever loved her Jean. At all. So please don't think differently. I was going to find you at some point anyways because you are my Destined, mine." he finished with a pained smile and mashed his lips against Jean's. Oh god, he lost him again, didn't he? First to Ryan, and now to his own stupidity of bringing up the past. He didn't deserve anyone especially this kind-hearted boy. A small tear slid down his cheek and he buried his head into Jean's shoulder, his eyes widening in surprise. He never cried, not even when he was a child and lost his parents. Tears showed weakness and weakness is the equivelant of death. That was something that he was imprinted in his brain. No crying at all. Yet, he was crying in front of his Beloved, the one he was meant to be with. And his lover was turning him away. The thought brought more tears forth, and a small and quiet sob escaped his lips.
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Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:09 pm
Jean blushed.his heart relived to hear Cam's words.He lifted Cam's face gently with his hands and looks at him.''Cam,Ive never seen you cry before.You arnt really the crying type.Please dont cry,Camiji.You never show sadness so If you cry,you must really be sad.Please dont be sad,Camiji.My heart will always belong to you.I could never love any one else.You mean everything to me.Your really good-looking,smart,perverted,careing,loving,and sweet.What fool wouldnt be in love with you?'' Jean says softly then licks Cam's tears gently.
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Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:22 pm
Cam shook his head stubbornly as more of those dreaded tears slipped down his face, "I'll hurt you. One day I'll hurt you beyond repair and then you'll leave me. I'll be alone again," he choked out, clinging onto the fabric of Jean's shirt. Oh how embarassing this was! He was supposed to be the one doing the comforting but instead he was bawling like a child that had lost his toy. "How.... How could you love me if all I will cause you is grief?" he continued, his voice turning into a whine as he spoke. He didn't want Jean to leave him. He'd die if his lover decided not to return his feelings, he wouldn't be able to go on. Again, more tears came and he buried his head back into Jean's chest.
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Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:40 pm
''I wont leave you,Camiji.Even if you kill me,I will follow you as a ghost.I felt terrible at the thought of being in between a marriage.You have grown on me,Camiji.I cant help but be in love with you and the thought of marrying you makes me so happy.I cant help but love you.You may have killed angels and people but I cant hate you for that...I just cant.All I can do is love you.It was wrong and you shouldnt have done it but Im still in love with you.I can ask Hoshi to make me immortal then if you end up killing me in one of your stages,I wont die.That way,we can still be together forever.You will never be alone,Camiji cause I will always be with you and love you with all of my heart.'' he says
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Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 9:12 pm
Cam wrapped his arms around Jean and sighed in contentment. He always felt safe....normal, in Jean's arms, "Thank you for everything Jean. For accepting me and my past. Accepting my 'stages' and everything. God, I love you so much."
"I don't want to take your mortality from you though. I'd feel horrible that you wouldn't be able to experience anything just because you would want to do something as selfless as that. I say this because I mean it; I'm not worth it and you shouldn't give up your mortality for me, okay?" he sighed again, his tears flowing less. He blinked and he had no doubt that his eyes were red and a bit puffy. He shifted awkwardly on the bed and nuzzled his body into Jean's, just wanting to feel something from him.
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Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 9:28 pm
''Well its that or I die and be away from you.And I think I would rather be immortal and live with you than die and go to heaven without you.I love you.You mean everything to me,Camiji.I dont want to be in a world where Im without you.Without my precious Camiji,Im nothing.What do you expect me to do in heaven while your here,on earth?'' he says,hugging Cam and running a hand through Cam's hair.
''Maybe Hoshi could take Cam's 'stages' away...'' he thinks to himself.
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 11:21 pm
Cam smiled a bit sadly and sighed, lifting his head up to look at Jean, "I don't know how to make you immortal, Jean. I know you feelings are genuine, and trust me, they are returned at full force. I wouldn't want to live in a world without your either."
'I'd rather die if he left me.' he added in in his mind silently before he continued.
"What do you suppose we do? There has to be something right?" Cam blinked slowly and wiped his eyes, drying them from their previous wet state. He felt a little better now, knowing that Jean wasn't going to leave him.
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 11:33 pm
''I bet Hoshi could do it.Hoshi can do anything.I bet he could use a spell or something to make me immortal.Id do anything to be able to live with you forever,Camiji.'' he says
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 11:47 pm
Cam shrugged and gave Jean a genuine smile, "How about we ask him tomorrow? I kind of want to plan it out a bit more, if you don't mind." he replied before rolling over onto his side, his head pillowed by his hand.
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