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Joliette anxiously watched the pair argue tensing before relaxing when Ambrose turned to her, the last thing she needed just then was to whitness them at it a second time. She forced herself with queezy stomach to eat more of the salad, she was hungry after all. "I'm glad, I ... I feel her fear... and yours Jamal" she added and shifted her position rubbing her bottom end with one hand she had sat on the nub of a tail the wrong way for a moment when she was tense

Ambrose attempt at peacemaking after his comment had fallen flat. Ambrose hated upsetting people, probably stemming from the situation with his father... that would now never be resolved. And especially when he was starting to consider a person a friend. But he wouldn't back down. Jamal didn't understand, and from the soudns of things he wouldn't until it happened to him. Until then he would be walking on eggshells every day - even if it was another month until he changed... another year.

"And what in the hell is yelling at us going to do, Jamal?! You're right! You ARE lucky! You still have every bit of humanity that you came here with. But from the sounds of things it's that fact that's pissing you off. But you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. You relish that fact, you tell yourself that you're going to be okay and won't change again, then when - fine- if you do - then it's going to be all the harder. I know. But the alternative is no way to live either - dreading the day you're goign to change, counting the days until what you have is gone. That's just as much bullshit."

Ambrose eyed the scars on the gangster's arms dubiously. He had never known anyone who had been shot before.... and just because he was black?? That didn't really happen like that, did it..? He had know of... black people attending the university. They weren't shot at just because they were black. Maybe because he was black and from the slums...? Ambrose knew very little about that sort of lifestyle. "So maybe you've had a shitty life.... but I refuse to believe that there was nothing you could do to take charge of your future... I refuse to believe in fate." Ambrose, perhaps, had seen one too many after school special. "I know it's hard.... maybe not from your perspective, but I did a sharp turn from where my life was outlined. I cut myself off from my parents... from what they expected of me.... and I set out on my own." He grit his teeth, reminded of where that got him. "NOW we're all screwed maybe. Maybe now, in a virtual prison, we're out of control of our lives. And that is maddening! But until now, we were all alive, and we all had some measure of control. Now we're all ********." IT had been some time since Ambrose had sworn.

Ambrose pushed his empty tray away with a throaty growl. Jamal was leaving. He wasn't trying to piss him off - he just needed to LISTEN.

"Maybe I jus' wanna ********' know if I'm gonna change or not. To know if they ********' screwed up so I ain't gonna have to go to bed tonight wond'rin' if Imma wake up ta'morrow wit' fur or scales or ********," he bellowed, whirling away from the food, his face taut with anger that just sort of manifested itself in him out of nowhere. "You weren't herr way longa' then some people and they be changin' and you just get ta sit and guess how long it gonna be. Yeah, dat's a real good game...yeah, yous mighta been herr when no one else knew what was goin' down, but you jus' had the doc's word to go off n' there weren't no walkin' examples 'round ta go against."

A hand beat his chest sharply with a loud thump as though emphasizing his presence there.

"Ev'ryone be tellin' me I been herr so long and ain't done jack s**t...you think that's a'ight? You think dat makes me feel good so I get ta walk in limbo?"

The black man drew a sharp breath and an oddly relaxed expression took over his face, yet his mouth curled and eyes glittered with a look of irony and acceptance.

"But s**t, dat's a'ight. Yous don't believe in fate...yous been spoonfed all yer life...yous one of them high 'n mighty white folk who kin afford ta pay da bills and buy expensive s**t...so o'course you figger it so easy to jus' change a way of life. But by god, when a ********' black man might succeed where folk like you ain't, well..."

Jamal basically lost all respect for Ambrose at this point because to him, Ambrose had turned this into something that it shouldn't have turned into. The blonde had always oozed rich and well-off since the day that Jamal had met him, but he tried to put that off in hopes of banding together to get through this bullshit...but at this point, Ambrose had started spouting almost how no one's life could have been harder than anyone else's and that ticked him off. Self-righteous? Basically. Did Jamal care? No, because he had never intended to come off like he was better than anyone, even if he privately thought he was in some aspects.

Chubbs walked very slowly into the cafeteria, he was still feeling tender, the fact he put a dent into the wall using his body didn't help. He frowned hearing the argument, it rang through his new ears and he held onto them to trying and block the noise. He then looked over to where it was coming from, Jamal and Ambrose. Two people he though were his friends now bickering at each other.

He winced hearing the words thrown at each other as he tried to uncover his ears. He looked partly scared and partly angry. He felt it was a barking match that he should be winning, that he should yell over them. Chubbs eased himself into the room and looked between them like he he should do something, and a ugly gut felling made him feel sick, something telling him to smack them both out.

"s**t, dat's betta than bein' dropped on an island and bein' met by a bunch of people who looked like ********' MONSTERS outta a movie," he retorted harshly. "I'd be givin' anythin' to go back ta not knowin' and just havin' it happen if it gonna. Then I ain't gonna have ta deal wit' no what ifs...just what nows."

The scorn never left his voice, but it was mingled with almost an inflection desperation as he spoke. He was still very angry about everything now, it seemed.

"And at leas' you got dat time in a nice place wit' food all da time and s**t. I ain't been so lucky and maybe yous need ta realize things ain't a goddamn picnic fo' ev'ryone in there life...so I wanna hang onta this ONE THIN' and yous gonna tromp all ova it? Aw hell naw. Ya can be bitta' if ya want, but don't take it out on me. Yeah so yous got stuck herr cause you lookin' ta get more educated o' ********, but some o' us come herr because we ain't got no choice. SOME o' us be wanted fo' -murder- because we jus' tryin' ta get by and survive back home 'n s**t happens. I was tryin' to change my life...get away from fate as yous like ta put it, but brotha can't get no break anywhere. So how 'bout you just shut da ******** up 'n let me cling ta whateva ********' sign of hope I got?"

Chubbs wrapped an arm around Joliette, he balled his fist, not out of anger, but so he wouldn't touch her with his new nails. His head dashed back and forth between Jamal and Ambrose like watching a tennis match, and just as annoying.

He held Joliette tighter as he fel himself growing hotter under his clothes. Why was everything suddenly crashing and burning? The lastest days felt like a rollercoaster, going so high and feeling up, then suddenly plummeting to the ground.

" W-..we can stand here, and argue here till... till we are blue in the face. But that just makes us animals... You two, there's no need for this...We all have our points of view.. our own opinions.. a..and we can either agree or disagree. W- we got to stay together... we are the only family each other has now... there's no one else we have."

Chubbs was trying not to cry or go completely ballistic at them both, it was so hard, he wanted to shout, he was angry at what had happened.

" I lost my family.. twice now, I.. I need to believe that you are my family now.."

Chubbs clenched his fist, wanting to hit something, he'd only ever felt like that around Sabin.

" I can't lose another family again.."

Ambrose might have lose some of his fire, but Jamal was far from it. He was quickly rising to the point he had so desperately tried to stay away from since he's been here...a point he hadn't been to since that night in the alleyway that ended his life as he knew it.

"I NEVA ********' SAID IT BE YER FAULT O' ANYONE ELSES DAT HAVE THIS s**t HAPPEN FAULT," he practically roared, the desperation gone and replaced with refueled anger that deepened the severe creases about his eyes and forehead as he practically vibrated. "When did that -EVA- ********' come outta ma mouth!?!"

The appearance of Chubbs only made him more angry because he knew the man was going to try and get involved...and he did. Jamal didn't listen only because he liked Chubbs enough to not want to start a war with him too...the man had never given Jamal a reason to not like him.

Jamal paused, realizing now what had just slipped out of his mouth, and an intensely bitter expression spanned his darkened features. Ambrose had made him so angry that he had let slip the one thing he had been so desperate to keep from everyone. Great...just ******** great. Now he was an angry black man who was a known killer.

His eyes acquired a hollow, worn look even though he continued to hold a snarling posture with his mouth, but he looked defeated in a way that was hard to put your finger on...maybe the slight slouch of his shoulders gave it away.

"You ********' win," he said more quietly though he continued to seethe internally. "I'm jus' a stupid, black, murderin' b*****d who don't know nuthin' 'bout anythin'. Ya be sure ta let all yer friends know....but don't botha tellin' Awen. She already know."

His clenched fist loosened and the bags of chips he had not long ago grabbed onto scattered to the floor with a crinkling plop as he turned for the door, nearly wrenching the handle off as he flung it open.