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Notice for Alfred F. Jones in regards to recent behavior at World Summit meetings.

1. "Searching for weapons of mass destruction" is not an excuse to put your hands down someone's pants.
2. Do not ask anyone else to search for your "weapon of mass destruction."
3. "Engrish" is not a language and should not be spoken around the Asian countries.
4. Do not taunt Mexico by holding your glasses above your head and telling her to try to get Texas back.
5. It is not a good idea to use a red pen on England's notes to add correct American spelling.
6. Being called a "melting pot" does not give you the right to claim that a state is the "love child" of you and another nation.
-It also does not give you the right to demand child support.

Now for his vows:
1. I will not insinuate the Arthur Kirkland is or ever was the fifth Beatle.
2. When I was told to attend meetings in a suit, they did not mean my birthday suit.
3. I will stop referring to Russia's pipe as "the magic stick."
4. I will also stop referring to it as a "disco stick."
5. I am not allowed to say the word "stick" under any circumstances.
6. I will not write off England's or Romano's behavior as "their time of the month."
7. No, Egypt does not want to "d-d-d-d-d-duel!"
8. Japan does not own a tentacle monster.
9. I am not a superhero, nor are boring lectures my arch nemesis.
10. Panties are not an acceptable form of international currency, even if everyone wants them.
11. I will not replace England's tea with hard liquor.
-Nor will I replace Russia's hard liquor with tea.
-It was not an honest mistake.
12. I will not replace anyone's lotion with toothpaste.
13. I will NOT replace anyone's "lotion" with toothpaste.
14. When someone accuses me of not wearing any underwear, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong is indecent.
-Especially if I can't.
15. I am not allowed to eat lollipops within anyone's sight ever again.
-Popsicles either.
16. Whenever England comes into the room, I am not allowed to scream 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING'
17. My speeches will not contain the words 'Hero, robot, lasers, space, or mutants'.
18. I will not ask for proof about Prussia's 'Five Meters'.
19. I will not ask India for some rupees so I can save princess Zelda.
20. I may not proclaim that I have twenty-six-hundred more nukes than everybody else.
– Even though it’s true.
21. England and Japan do not want to participate in a death match battle of Pirates vs. Ninjas.
22. Stopping mid sentence and screaming, “Belarus!” while talking to Russia is not allowed.
– No matter how fun it is to make him cry.
22. I am not Canada’s stunt double, and convincing young, impressionable nations that I am is irresponsible.
23. England does not appreciate getting new eyepatches for his birthday
24. The UN already has a flag, and that flag does not consist of my boxers
25. Nor Canada’s
26. Nor England’s
27. Nor France’s G-string
28. I am not allowed to say that the “F.” stands for Francis, ever, unless I want a spanking from England
29. Doing this on purpose for spankings is disgusting and vile, and not arousing at all.
30. I am no longer allowed to give gifts of any kind without prior approval of Germany
31. Prussia does not count as Germany
32. I will not tell Matthew that Dunkin Doughnuts is planning a buyout of Tim Hortons
33. I will not tell England that I will start speaking proper English when he does

Signed,
Alfred Francis Jones

Found at: http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/11411.html?thread=23329683

So does Hungary:

Things Hungary Mustn't Do at World Meetings
1. Kitchen appliances are banned from world meetings
2. This includes frying pans
3. Even non-stick ones
5. Estonia will not fake evidence to prove that pancake withdrawal is a serious medical problem
6. Canada, however, will
7. Trading videos or photographs with Japan must be monitored closely by an adult
8. France is not classified as an adult
9. If the videos or photographs are found to be pornographic, they will be confiscated
10. Even though they'll probably end up on the internet anyway
11. Or in one of England's sex education videos
12. Or in his collection of private videos
13. ...England is not classified as an adult either
14. Although Gilbird is easily confused with a tennis ball, he must not be used as one
15. Neither must Prussia's head
16. Even if I genuinely made a mistake
17. I never genuinely make that mistake
18. Frying pans are not a substitute for tennis rackets
19. The Bad Touch Trio are not and have never been my bitches
20. I must not giggle every time England or France mentions their special relationship
21. Spreading rumours about what 'special relationship' really means will not end well
22. Even though everyone already knows
23. I must not get England drunk and then encourage him to dress as a sexy waiter
24. Or a pirate
25. Or a police officer
26. Or the Britannia angel
27. If he dresses himself as any of the above, I must not hand him over to America
28. And definitely not to France
29. Showing that sex tape of Prussia and Austria instead of my presentation at a world meeting was inappropriate the first time
30. It was still inappropriate the ninth time
31. Even though it was still really hot
Found at: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5512908/1/One_Hundred_Things_Hungary_Mustnt_Do