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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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 Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:09 pm
So, since I've gone to college there are (alas!) less funny stories like the ones from the illustrious H/Hartmetz. I miss that band SO much.
Dr. Bartram: Okay, well...you guys all drive. Right now your sound is like if you were going 60 in a 25 zone. Way too loud. Slow down.
Band: *plays again, quieter*
Emily (fellow percussionist): *comes in late like she always does*
Dr. Bartram: That's more like 45. Try to...get as close to stopping at the red light as you can.
Emily: Wait, what?
Me: I love extremely extended metaphors.
Bartram: ...this weekend, we had a death in my family.
Everyone: Awww. *insert various phrases of condolences*
Bartram: Yeah...my 5 year old's goldfish died.
Emily and I: You troll. xD
Bartram: We woke up and it was belly up...so naturally my wife left me to deal with explaining it. Ultimately I buried it in the yard...I think we're having a ceremony when I get home. lol
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:14 pm
Right before a song...
(Le cue amazing joke told by the three 1st trumpets, including moi)
BD: (counting off)
(I normally get a second wave of giggles after I laugh)
(Therefore, I now start giggling during the count-off)
~~~~CUE DISGUSTING TRUMPET FART/VOICE CRACK/DYING MOOSE SOUND~~~~
BD: Now. That was amazing, trumpets. You should do that in the concert.
It was really how he said it xP
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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:42 am
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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:33 pm
My band director, Mr. C, told us jokes all the time and funny stories. One that I remember distinctly now is when he explained where the word S.H.I.T. came from.
He goes to say that when shipping manure on ships, they used to ship them at the bottom. The gases rise, and then the ship explodes. So, they started to have them shipped on the top deck. And on those crates to ship the manure is an acronym:
Ship High In Transit.
I don't believe I need to spell out the acronym for you again.
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 6:28 am
"I like a firm bottom on my Basses" - Choir director lol
And this guy is so monotone, so he said it with the most exciting tone we have ever heard on him ever!... so the entire choir just bursted out laughing!
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 12:17 pm
I'm so hot! I'm going to take my jacket off....
-Zero hour at 6:45 am
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 12:49 pm
We played Toy Story for Marching Band a few years ago, and Mr. Shanley (no longer at our school sad ) always made jokes.
Aside from the typical best excuse ever award we give to students:
"And Will's excuse this year was, 'I couldn't make it to marching band because my euphonium caught on fire'."
There were the total comments that will always live strong:
"Austin, could you play softer?" (Austin is the loudest euphonium I've ever had to bear.)
"Guys, guys- you're rushin'... this is an American piece!"
"Okay guys, you know how this works. We're going to do this again. This is Toy Story, Fourth Movement, Measure 20... battery is not included."
And then recently, when he directed Concert band for us:
"I missed you all, guys. I really wish Austin were here- I'm sure he'd be playing just as loud as before."
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 1:19 pm
so recently my band went to NYSBDA(new york state band directors association) which is a HUGE honor. any ways, late one night when we had an evening practice, the drums weren't working together on tempo
so my band directors stands up on the podium, does a fist pump, and shouts, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we were dying from laughter
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 9:56 am
My director told all the kids in the drama company to talk as loud as I do in jazz band they go on stage.I popped out from behind the curtain and yelled I heard that!
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 5:24 pm
We happened to be talking about ghost stories, for pretty much the entire hour...
Ms. E: Oh and you know what else is really scary? You know when you wake up and those eggs you painted are gone? And you crazily find them all over your house? And when you push the botton down after you out bread in that box and pops up by itself and crisp? Oh and when there on MORE boxes under your tree on christmas? It's REALLY scary!
Us: O_O You are truely insane...
Ms. E: Yeah... I know!
Us: *Laughing really loud and making weird sounds with our instruments...
Weird crappy sound goes off
Ms: E: What WAS that!
ANother Day, this time with the Intern
Student: *Sneezes like a dying animal, no joke*
Intern: WHAT WAS THAT! YOU SOUNDED LIKE A DYING CAT!
Us: That's what you deserve ____
Another Day...
Ms. E: _____!!!! GET YOUR KNEE OFF YOUR ELBOW!!!
(He always gets in trouble because he is a flute, used to be, and always leaned his elbow onto his knee)
Band/Us: ... WHAT?
Ms. E: Oh my... I really just said that...
Us: Yes, yes you did. Refresh!
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 6:22 pm
(During Jazz band, directly after concert band)
Random student: Who's a better trumpet player, Ibrahim or Mohammed?
BD: Well, that's easy. Michael's better. (Oboe player)
...Guess you had to be there ._.
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 6:24 pm
(During Jazz band, directly after concert band)
Random student: Who's a better trumpet player, Ibrahim or Mohammed?
BD: Well, that's easy. Michael's better. (Oboe player)
Background: As part of our grade, we have to perform six scales/rudiments for the BD per year.)
BD: Wow, looks like Sam's falling behind on his scales. Only a little more time to go!
Moi: I'll get that saxy a** up there. Just watch me.
...Guess you had to be there ._.
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:36 pm
babbitt I can't remeber what my band teacher was when this happend but the saxaphones kept playing the wrong note and so the teacher decided to show the saxaphones what finger to use,unfortuantly it was the middle finger and he did this about 5 times before he realized what was going on. stare sweatdrop Babbitt 3nodding ha doesnt sound like my band, cause shes always saying how"stellar" the saxes are(im a sax) and did u mean c natural?
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 4:14 pm
My marching band marching director Mr. Bennett; the most BA person to ever be associated to marching band.
If anyone is looking down at any point while marching. He yells, megaphone in hand:
" There ain't no money on the ground; I already checked!"
If anyone is out of there spot. Once again, megaphone in hand, he yells:
" Where do you think you're going?! Brooklyn?!"
Of course this is all said with a New York accent, so read it that way, it makes it funnier.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:07 pm
"I want you to play staccato like your eighth grade dance *band teacher proceeds to get a poor clarinet player out of his seat and places his arms on the clarinet player's shoulders and slow dances* you need to be an arms length apart"
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