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 Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:42 pm
It was, hands down, the most awkward drive home he'd ever made. It was one thing to drive with just himself or with Yeande. The two of them were fully grown and were more resiliant to sudden stops or bumps taken too quickly. However, with every foot of road travelled, Talon was painfully aware and careful of the tiny body that was strapped into the carseat behind he and his wife.
He'd thought they were never going to leave that blasted clinic. By the time someone had thought to come shake him awake on the couch he'd been dozing on after the delivery, Zhane had already long-since been returned to Yeande. She'd been taught the intricacies of breastfeeding and, she'd informed him with a degree of tired pride, she'd changed her first diaper.
Not that either of these were things Talon would have particularly liked to witness firsthand, but it still felt as though he'd missed something important. His son was newly born and already he was missing out. Feh. Long about noon, the release papers had been shoved at the two of them to sign, he'd helped Yeande dress and they'd been let go to take Zhane home.
"The speed limit is forty, Talon." Yeande informed him.
"I know."
"You're going twenty-five."
"I know."
At this, his wife sighed and shook her head faintly, clearly growing restless and shifting uncomfortably in her seat, still in pain from the labor and stitches. He knew she wanted to get home and that this was already putting a damper on her plans, but a car accident would put a much bigger damper on them.
A horn blared behind them as someone who'd been tailing them for the better part of a mile finally lost patience and zipped around the slow-moving Honda with a one-fingered salute as he went. Talonfaust was more than happy to reciprocate as he jammed his own middle finger up against the windshield.
"Shove it!" he snarled, ears flattening even as Yeande took his wrist and guided his hand gently away from the window and back to the wheel.
"Just....get us home, okay?"
Almost simultaneously, the two of them cast a quick look behind them at the sleeping baby in the carseat to ensure he'd not been disturbed. Zhane still seemed to be soundly sleeping, undisturbed by the horn or his father's yelling. The car fell silent as Talon concentrated on the road and Yeande relocated her gaze out of the window, watching the passing scenery.
He couldn't win for losing, apparantly...he was just being careful and you'd think HE was the one being a jerk. To top things off, the base of his left antler began to itch crazily as he set his jaw to refrain from lifting both hands from the wheel to attack the skin with his nails. He knew that sensation, it meant--
*THUD*
--that he was going to molt soon. Or now, rather. Yeande jolted in surprise and looked down at the detached blue antler laying on the floor of the Honda and blinked at Talon's asymmetrical forehead where the other antler was still firmly rooted.
"I don't want to hear about it." he growled, embarrassed.
"I didn't say anything." she assured him, looking back out of the window. By now, she was used to it...in fact, Talon's antlers clattering off usually sparked mockery about the loss of his fidelity on her part, just because she knew it bugged him. He'd been through about six pairs in the time she'd known him, usually losing them after a particularly bad fit of stress and growing them back nearly identically each time.
Eventually, they pulled into Youko's driveway and Talon had no sooner killed the engine than Yeande was out of the car and fetching Zhane up from his carseat. Talon could do little more than watch, feeling a bit like an outsider as he did so. She was going to be a good mother, he could tell already. She was attentive, protective, and was quickly adjusting to the idea of caring for an infant. He, on the other hand, had no clue what he was doing.
"Don't get too comfortable over there, 'dad', you're helping me with him tonight." Yeande called over her shoulder as she gingerly made her way up the walk, jarring Talon out of his thoughts as he quickly followed after her, inwardly relieved that he'd not been forgotten in the shuffle of things.
His head was pulled at an awkward angle as he moved, weighed down by the remaining antler and, as much as he hated how incredibly feminine he looked without them, he hoped it would drop off and join the other soon.
He was already going to be up most of the night, he didn't need a sore neck to go with it.
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:05 am
The 'nesting' urge hadn't left.
Yeande had set Zhane down in the crib, marvelling for a moment just how tiny he looked in that big, open space. Youko had mentioned something about getting a laundry basket to use as a bassinette until the baby grew into the crib, but until now she'd just thought he was insane. Then she remembered the nights with Omi, curled up in the rectangular plastic bin padded with blankets. It had seemed just the right size for the newborn infant.
Later, perhaps.
She opened the window to let in the breeze, and set up the baby monitor religiously, testing the handset to make sure she could hear if a fly sneezed on the wall. After tidying up a bit and setting out a new diaper and such on the changing table for later, she slipped out and closed the door behind her. Someone ELSE needed her attention for the moment.
Talon was where she expected him to be. Sitting on the couch with one antler in his hand, staring at it in confusion. He wasn't really confused as to what had happened, but he always got that look on his face when he was waiting for the other to join its departed mate.
She slid onto the couch beside him, taking a few extra moments to situate herseof comfortably. Normally, she'd part her legs and let him sit between them to lean his back against her chest. Now, however, that was NOT an option, as her stitches painfully reminded her. Instead, she curled up and brought him to lean against her, ignoring his protests for the time being.
"Hush, idiot," she murmured softly, smiling at him. "You need this." Before he could retort, she brought up both hands and scratched lightly along the top of his forehead, against the spot where the missing antler had been, and around the base of the one still remaining. It wasn't a quick movement, but more of a soothing one, reminiscent of the times when they were younger and she'd rub her fingers along his brow to get him to sleep through his nightmares.
Before long, she had a purring heap of Ijiuo resting against her, his head on her chest as she made HIM her top priority... at least until the baby would wake up.
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:17 am
He could almost have forgotten the stress of the last day or so as he gratefully melded against her, happy to feel her warmth and happy to have her attention for the moment. He needed occasional reminding that he had not been forgotten and otherwise, his joys in life were simple ones -- a long hot shower, a solid night of sleep, a good book, or even having his head scritched in just the right way.
As Talon reached out to gingerly gather Yeande into a hug, mindful of her recent strain and wanting to be careful, a sharp wail pierced the air, making him cringe.
*THUD*
As though it had been waiting for just the right moment, the other antler dropped off and landed dully on the carpet. He stared at it as though outraged at it...the first one always dropped off unexpectedly, but the second one was always a smartass. It ALWAYS dropped off at some point where it should have been followed by a cheesy drumriff.
Denuded of his pronged horns, and feeling rather pathetic, Talon drew back from Yeande so that the two of them could go and tend to the baby. It was a good thing they'd been advised against resuming sexual activity for at least three weeks (though most usually it was longer anyway before the urge returned, the doctors had informed them) because at least he wouldn't look like a cold fish while he waited for the next set to grow in, then...
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 4:57 pm
First GMFC Visit The door to the GMFC opened and closed as someone entered. Talon looked as though this was the last place in the world he wanted to be at the moment...but then, he always looked like that about everywhere he went. In a sling that hung around his neck, baby Zhane was nestled and sleeping. He'd taken it upon himself to give Yeande a chance to sleep today and take Zhane out on his own for a bit. He'd instantly regretted this decision as soon as he'd left the house when it occurred to him that this would be his first time "flying solo". With any luck. Dr. Jenkins would be working today and he could ask her some questions. Eyeing the others distrustfully, he took a seat a safe distance away from them. In doing so, the infant sleeping against his chest stirred and awoke with a soft noise, blinking his still-blue eyes sleepily. Still being rather new, he couldn't quite see far enough ahead of himself to focus on details, but he could recognize that this was a place he'd not been before. Making a heroic effort at lifting his head, Zhane attempted to investigate. Chibi looked towards the door as Tinania entered, recognizing the teen almost instantly, mainly because of her wings and the cat who accompanied her. How could he forget Havok's number-one-fan Rose? "Hey Tinania." When the door opened again, the tanuki's attention was diverted, red eyes moving to look at Talonfaust and the baby he held in his arms. He'd never seen him before. No use not being friendly. Raising his hand in a small wave, Chibi turned his attention back to Tinania when the man sat down. If he wanted to come over and chat, he could do so. He was too comfortable to get up. Sachiya too looked up as Tinania came in, his ears perking instantly. He knew her! And her kitty! Giggling happily, he waved to Rose, hoping she would come over and visit. She was so cool! Pink turned around when she heard the door opening a few times and waved everyone over. "Come on in!" She said cheerfully noticing once GMFC child she knew; the one that held the promise of babysitting! Zhane, thankfully, had not seemed to absorb his father's antisocial countenance and, at the sound of voices, he broke into a wide grin. Some of the blobs of color on the other side of the room were moving...maybe those were people? In proclamation of his happiness, he gave a small happy shriek that made his father cringe. "Don't do that." Talon warned, pointing at the baby. In response, Zhane seized the finger that had come into his field of vision and glomped down on it with his toothless mouth, giggling and burbling. Tinania looked over when she heard her name. For once she decided not to blare her music. Slipping her headphones off she smiled waving to everyone "Hey long time no see..." she picks up her bag walking over toward them. She waved to the man sitting down with the younger child as she passed by them. Bowing to the group she smiles "Afternoon Ms. Pink, Mr. Chibi, Mrs Ala. How are all of you today?" She kneeled down near the kids holding her arms out. She had to do a double take at Surion "Surion, hey sweetie, you grew, and you can say my name.." she leans down and kisses his cheek before tickling Sachiya and Maddie, before looking back up to the adults. Rose ran over and curled up next to Sachiya. She remember this little guy, he was so nice to her, she purred and mewed at him. Lollipop clicked a few time before flying around the room. Zhane quickly lost interest in slobbering on Talon's finger, the tiny blue-and-purple earfins on the sides of his head expanding to their limit to hear the other voices better. Those were what REALLY interested in him at the moment. There were people here, why wasn't he being allowed to go visit? Mommy always let him meet people! He began to fuss, trying in vain to squirm out of the sling as Talon watched apprehensively. Did he need feeding? He wasn't like Yeande who seemed to be able to tell exactly what the kid needed just by the tone of his cry. Must be a mother thing. He pulled a small capped bottle from his coat pocket and, pulling the plastic cap off, attempted to offer it to his son who turned his head stubbornly away with another petulant wail. Okay...that clearly wasn't it...diaper, then? A quick check showed that wasn't the problem either and Zhane was still fussing. Wincing helplessly, Talon wondered if maybe he ought to leave before he started to annoy people with his ineptitude at figuring out what his son wanted. It was like being a veterinarian's office with a little yappy poodle that wouldn't shut up...but at least you could whop a poodle with a rolled-up newspaper and nobody looked at you too oddly for it. If you tried that with a baby, they'd take custody away from you. "Sit Sur?" he asked and his grin spread across his face and he let out a loud happy squeal wrapping his arms around Tinania's legs Ala stood up and wandered towards The male and his infant "Hello, I'm Ala..." she said introducing herself after watching him trying to sort out the child's problem "You have a very cute looking bundle of joy" Talon squirmed, suddenly feeling very much like an outsider in the presense of the people nearby who clearly knew more about what they were doing than he did. Maybe he would take Zhane somewhere else where the parenting was just as inept as his own was so he wouldn't stick out as badly...like a McDonalds Playplace. As he moved to get up, Zhane quieted himself, thinking maybe daddy had finally understood and was going to bring him over to meet the others. Instead, daddy was puzzled and sat back down again, only to have the fussing begin once more. Talon's ears laid back in frustration. "What...??" he hissed quietly. "What do you want?" The infant twisted in the sling toward the others once more and finally, Talon understood. The ijiuo looked toward the strangers again calculatingly. They...-seemed- amiable, he supposed. Reluctantly, he rose from where he was sitting and approached, gratified when Zhane quieted once more. Sachiya gave a startled squeak when his hand was caught, before making a face at rose. "No fair! You're a kitty!" Kitties were always faster than he was at catching things. It was just natural. It didn't seem to occur to him that Rose might not know why she had the advantage. Turning back to Tinania when she explained what a "park" was, the toddler took a moment to think about it. Outside. But you got to meet other kids. "Sounds a'right." At the sound of Talonfaust coming towards them, his ears swiveled around backwards, before he turned to look up at the pair. O_O "Ears!" He exclaimed gleefully, having caught sight of Zhane's unusual ears. Talon's immediate impulse was to shrink back from from Ala, but he stood his ground nonetheless. "Hello." he greeted her, trying to keep his tail from lashing behind him. "Thank you." Zhane, on the other hand, grinned in Ala's direction, able to make out more of her since she was closer. Her hair color, her clothes, and she had a nice voice like mommy did. He extended one tiny hand toward her, fingers opening and closing. A younger voice nearby proclaimed "Ears!" and made him look in its direction, said "ears" perking, the membrane vibrating a bit. This was much more entertaining than sitting by themselves on the other side of the room! Ala smiled kindly sensing the nervousness and looked down at the infant before offering her finger to the child "Very adorable, I miss this age" Tinania hugs Surion then looks back to The older man again, she smiles glad to see that he wanted to join them, she looked back to Sachiya when he yelled out ears, she couldn't help but giggle. Rose looks towards the man who walked up then back at Sachiya, she mews then shakes her tail before rolling around. Aww she lost the attnetion of the little one she was playing with. Tinania tilts her head back and closes her eyes, she winces when her wings start to hurt alittle but shakes it off. Maybe she had moved them to much. She opened her eyes again and just sat there in silence looking at the kids then the adults. They could perk too! And they vibrated! So cool! Sachiya reached for the nearest chair, using it to pull himself up and wander over to where Talonfaust and Zhane were. Staring up at the baby, he gave Talonfaust's shirt a gentle tug. "Can Chiya see?" He asked, adding quickly. "Please." Talon was about to reply to Ala...likely to say something to the effect of "But I'm sure your sleep schedule doesn't", but was interrupted by the tug on his shirt that made him jolt slightly as he looked down at Sachiya. See what? It took him a moment to realize he meant the baby and complied, moving the sling so that Zhane could reach Sachiya and vice versa....he hoped none of these kids had a cold or a flu that Zhane would bring home with him later...he was hoping to avoid the "joys" of a sick baby for as long as possible. Realizing he'd remained silent, he turned back to Ala. "We're still learning...he's not been with us very long" Zhane squealed as Ala moved slightly out of his field of view, but then blinked as someone else came into it. Something reddish brown and more his size. He blinked inquisitively and leaned forward toward the toddler in front of him. Ala smiled "They are blessing" she said and watched the infant "Well looks like your little one enjoys meeting people" Ooh, this man was so smart. Grinning happily as Zhane was lowered to where he could see him better, Sachiya reached out to touch the boy gently. His kitty had told him about babies, and how you had to be really careful with them. Shija had even said that they could break if you handled them too roughly. Carefully touching one of the baby's funny ears, he murred softly, leaning in to allow one of his own raccoon ears to come in contact with the boy's skin. His fur was soft. It wouldn't hurt him. Realizing that he didn't known the boy's name, Sachiya gently tugged on Talonfaust's shirt, waiting until he had the man's attention. "Whassis name?" "That...makes one of us, then." Talon told Ala quietly. He hadn't meant the remark to be insulting, but he still didn't care much for people. Having a job in customer service hadn't helped matters at all. His eyes darted in Sachiya's direction briefly. "Zhane." he answered simply. Zhane cooed and giggled at the feel of the other boy's fur. He recognized the feeling from when Karma had held him at home, but Sachiya's was softer. He reached out, his fingers finding the Sachiya's ear and latching onto it...not hard enough to hurt, however. Thankfully he wasn't old enough to have any real yank to his grip yet. Zhane? That was a nice name. "Zhane." Sachiya repeated, looking back towards the baby, only to find one of his ears currently held by the said child. It wasn't rough, but the toddler wasn't too fond of people grabbing his ears. Then again, he didn't want to break the baby. As long as he didn't pull, it would be okay. "Zhane like Chiya's ears?" He asked, wiggling the one in the baby's grasp. Ala chuckled softly, she didn't mind when she met people who liked to keep to themselves. She glanced over towards her son smiling to see him playing with tinania Zhane grinned in response as the fuzzy thing in his grip wriggled, his hold staying tight on the ear for a moment more before, as babies were apt to do, his attention wandered and he released it. His earfins flared once more as he listened to Talon and Ala talk somewhere above him. He liked hearing people talk...especially when they were holding him. It made a sort of comforting vibratey feeling pass through him. Sachiya did his best to resist the urge to pull his ear away as the grip tightened, stopping the wiggling ear. At least Zhane had liked it. He had smiled and all. As his ear was released, the toddler took a step back, giving the ear a tentative rub. The baby hadn't been rough, but his ears were still very sensitive. "Sachiya. We have to go, pup." Looking towards his Daddy as his name was called, he made a face at the mention of going home, but trotted back anyways. He and Shija could watch more movies, or do something cool. Reaching his arms up to be picked up, the toddler murred contentedly when his silent demand was met. "Baaai!" He called over Chibi's shoulder as the tanuki waved, the two disappearing out the door to the clinic, headed back home. As Sachiya was taken up by his father, Talon felt a slight surge of relief. Being overbearing by nature, he wasn't sure he really was comfortable with other children playing with Zhane yet. Likely, Yeande would clobber him for it later and give him a lecture about children needing to socialize, but...she wasn't here at the moment. Taking the out as it was offered before someone or something else could occupy them further and deciding that perhaps Dr. Jenkins wasn't around after all, Talon hitched Zhane a bit further up on his shoulder so that he was nestled against his chest once more. "We ought to go too." he told Ala in what he hoped was an apologetic voice, but more likely sounded as though he was grateful to leave. "Perhaps we'll meet again sometime." Zhane gave a squeal of protest as the soft-eared boy left and then another as Talon started for the door. He didn't want to go yet! They'd just gotten there! Thankfully, he had silenced by the time they reached the door, finding his vision dazzled by the sunlight outside and suddenly becoming interested in that rather than throwing a tantrum at being denied new friends. A moment later, they were gone.
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 6:09 pm
Diary Entry Dear Diary,
I decided to give it a few days before writing my thoughts on the birth to give everyone involved a chance to calm themselves and adjust, me included. I think it was easily one of the most influential, incredible moments of my life that I hope never to repeat. I'm not sure I could stand it, is what I mean to say.
It places you in a very awkward position in that you can do nothing except realize just how useless you really are at times. Yeande was on her back, legs in the stirrups, practically screaming every time a contraction hit, and I could do nothing except sit there and tell her it would be okay. Even having had days to reflect on it, I still can't fathom what it must have felt like for her, but if it was enough to make her lose her composure that badly, something tells me that I ought to count my blessings I'm a male of my species.
But that aside, the baby was born healthy and whole. Almost seven pounds and recorded as Zhane Alexander Breslin, just as we'd discussed. Our son.
I may be biased, in fact I'm almost certain that I am, but he's perfect. He doesn't look at all like the helpless pink...slugs that Karma's twins were when they were born (granted, I don't know from experience, but I've seen pictures of them). He's alert, active, and was born with a full head of hair.
....the hair somewhat puzzles me. I wonder how it is that two black-haired parents produced a child with brown hair. I'm not, for a minute, suggesting that he may not be my son. I just want to know how, that's all. And even if I never know, I won't be terribly bothered by it.
I've brought Zhane to the clinic already for a follow-up visit so that Yeande would have a chance to rest. Dr. Jenkins was nowhere to be seen, but we saw some of the other clientelle. It took me only a few minutes to be reminded why it is that I find young children so irksome. Yeande is more than welcome to do the next visit because I have no interest in it.
I keep feeling like I'm still waiting for a bomb to drop...for everything to catch up with me all at once out of the haze of stress I've been in and for the realization to hit me that I'm a father now. Really a father. Not potentially, not "soon", but Zhane is really here and now depends on the two of us.
I didn't think it was something I would simply take in stride.
~T
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 12:14 pm
As it had happened, the household was unable to escape the cold Karma had brought home with her from the convention. It only took a matter of days before the rogue virus had gotten itself well-acquainted with Karma, Talon, Dave, and Zhane and had made them all miserable.
Zhane seemed to have forgotten that he was supposed to be the exception to the "most babies never stop screaming" rule the moment the discomfort of fever had set in. It was a horrible feeling....it was like being burning hot and freezing cold all at once and hurting all over. And worst of all, nothing that he or Daddy did made it go away.
Talon, for his part, was at his wit's end as he tried to handle his son through the veil of his own fever. How was he supposed to be expected to make Zhane feel better when he couldn't even make HIMSELF feel better? His first plan had been to give Zhane some extra blankets since that was what he'd done for himself. It had worked for all of an hour before he'd been summoned to the nursery once more by renewed screaming.
Now Zhane was too hot. He'd removed the blankets, filled a small bottle with warm chicken broth and fed it to him, and then returned him to his crib after he'd nodded off.
"I thing you should tage him to the dogtor." Karma observed through a stuffy nose from where she was curled on the couch as Talon emerged from the hallway for what had to be the fifth time in the last hour with Zhane squalling in the crook of his arm.
"You just want me to get him out of the house so you can sleep." Talon replied crankily, turning his head into his shoulder to sneeze. "He has the same thing you and I do. Thank you -ever- so much for sharing it."
"Id's not lige I meant to." the foxcoon grumbled, bringing a hand to her mouth to cough. "Besides, the doctor would prescribe him some antibiotics and he'd get over it faster."
"I can't drive like this, much less sit in a waiting room full of sick kids and be expected not to blow up." Talon told her, heading for the linen closet with Zhane to fish the box of medicines and health implements off of the shelf with his free hand.
Zhane stopped crying just long enough to be interested by the sound of glass clinking on glass and the strangely-labeled bottles full of elixirs and syrups.
"Thad's the thing, though." Karma called from the family room, not having moved from her sprawling spot. "Id's the middle of the summer. Nobody's GOING to be sick." Talon found what he was looking for a moment later and withdrew the ear thermometer from the box, jamming the tiny "on" button with the pad of his thumb.
It gave a shrill beep, remained blank for a moment, and then its LCD display window read "Ready".
It was as though some divine force had enlightened Zhane to the fact that this cold little rod of metal was destined for one of his auditory orifices as he shied away and began to squirm as Talon tried to guide it into the canal of his right ear.
"Zhane...stop it. STOP it." Talon grumbled, trying to keep a hold both on the baby and the thermometer. "I just--this isn't going to hurt, now come on...!" Somehow, amid the flailing, screaming, cursing, and struggling, Talon managed to get what he was after as the thermometer gave an accepting beep after a moment and reported the baby's temperature.
"One-oh-one point two." he read aloud, his brow knitting with concern as he readjusted his hold on Zhane. The infant ijiuo, seeming to deem the threat of the thermometer over for the moment, began to settle himself again, sniffling and hitching. The flush of his fever stood out against the tiny scattering of purple-blue scales on his cheeks in an almost heartbreaking way.
"Dogtor." Karma said again.
"I don't want to drive like this." Talon said again, annoyed. His eyes felt like hot ball barings in his head and every muscle in his body felt like a knotted, frayed cable. This was hardly prime "alert and aware driver" conditions and he somehow felt that Zhane wouldn't be much better off if he managed to run them off the road.
"Where's Yeande, by the way? Why can'd she tage you?"
"She got dragged off by Raven and Kendall to help shop for Youko's birthday." he replied, sounding more than a little irked by it. She'd only been gone for a few hours and it already felt like the world was caving in around his ears. All he wanted was to SLEEP. Gods willing, she wouldn't catch this godawful bug until he and Zhane were over it so that at least then SHE could get the rest she needed.
Talon looked down at his son and felt a deep-seated twinge of pity even though he felt just as sick as Zhane looked. His flushed cheeks, the way his hair clung in damp dark curls against his sweaty forehead, his eyes reddened from crying, his nose streaming... Maybe....they -should- risk the drive to go to the doctor. Deep down, he knew that if it came down to it, there was no way he would allow himself to drift off behind the wheel with Zhane in the car.
"The clinig isn't a far drive from here. Five minutes maybe and there isn't any traffig this time of the day."
"I need to shower." he grumbled, using up his last and lamest excuse for not going. There was a sigh of disgust from the family room, rustling, and then the padding of heavy footsteps as a bedraggled and rumpled-looking Karma approached.
"I'LL watch him while you shower, then." she said, reaching for Zhane. Talon immediately shied back from her, not wanting to let her hold his son on general principle alone. Realizing that he'd backed himself into a corner, he narrowed his eyes in resentment and, reluctantly, gave Zhane over to her and slunk off for the bathroom.
Karma watched him go and then gathered Zhane against her shoulder and looked at him with a faint smile. "Your daddy's a spaz, you know it?"
Zhane blinked at her cluelessly and then screwed up his nose, sneezing once. "Aww...poor Zhane, all sick." she cooed. "C'mon, we'll go watch Toonami until Talon's got his crap together." Saying so, she carried him back into the family room with her.
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 12:36 pm
Diary Entry Dear Diary,
I forgot just how much I hate doctor's offices. I was unaware that the doctor at the GMFC was not the same as a general pediatrician, so after being sent away from there, we were given the name and address of an all-purpose clinic. From there, we were supposed to be able to be assigned a pediatrician since we weren't at the birth.
So we sat in this waiting room for the better part of an hour. On one side of me is some guy holding a bloody towel up against his forehead, on the other side of me is some woman with her brood of seven kids, none of them seeming to have anything wrong with them except the terminal "I'm talking and I can't shut up" illness.
Most people seemed to be there to have wounds treated...I think Zhane and I were the only genuinely sick people in that entire room. It may explain some of the nasty looks we got. You go to the doctor when you're sick, lady, I don't know if you got that memo or not, but I'm so sorry for exposing your precious litter to a generic cold.
We were finally taken back to see a doctor who looked Zhane over for about three minutes before affirming that it was, in fact, nothing serious and writing him a prescription for some childrens' antibiotics. When he asked me if there was anything else he could help me with before he left, I took the opportunity to ask him what he knew about vasectomies. He laughed. Suppose he thought I was kidding.
I'm not, though. I don't think I could live through being put through this again. I'm barely keeping it together as it is.
We were signed over to Dr. Luebbert for future visits (same doctor Karma uses for the twins and Arkie, coincidentally), and instructed to go to Walgreens where a big bottle of chalky pink liquid was waiting for us.
It smells like cherries and boiled eggs and I'm supposed to give Zhane this every eight hours. He's already thrown up the first dose all over the front of my shirt. You can guess where my optimism in this mission lies about now.
~T
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 1:59 am
To his credit, Zhane seemed to be shaking off the illness faster than his father. His fever had broken sometime during the night as Talon had blearily changed him out of the sweat-saturated sleeper he'd been in and he'd actually managed to keep future doses of his medicine down instead of decorating more of his daddy's clothing with them.
Not that Talon really blamed him. Nearing desperation to shake off the hypersensitivity of his own fever, he'd tried a dose of the obnoxious pink liquid himself and it had made him feel not unlike tossing his groceries as well.
So there they sat in a darkened living room, Talon feeling too hot and too cold all at once as he watched Zhane contentedly drain a small bottle of formula. The rest of the household had gone to bed for the night, making everything eerily still and quiet. Almost tolerable.
By the time Yeande had gotten home, she'd been too tired from her outing to do much more than collapse into bed and he'd not had the heart to wake her. There was no sense in all three of them being sick at once and he felt that he had a pretty good handle on things. Sure he did. Zhane was teaching him all about what it was to be an ill infant and he was learning, in turn, how to grin and bear it.
Karma had warned him that when you became a parent, your pride was something you could say goodbye to. It was all part of the package deal...you were going to get spit on, thrown up on, defecated on, spend late nights cleaning up after someone who was too little to know better, and you were going to do it all without thanks. The sooner you got over yourself and learned to laugh, the easier it would be.
Zhane took a moment to illustrate this point as he stopped drinking, his eyes closed and his nose twitching.
Choof!
Talon winced as he was showered in a warm spray of...well....he couldn't tell in the dark. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know either, so he assured himself it was just formula. A tiny giggle floated up from the baby he held.
"You know, you aren't exactly winning friends and influencing people..." Talon muttered, reaching up to wipe the sticky soy-smelling concoction away from his eyes. God, he couldn't remember the last time he wanted to sleep so badly. Zhane giggled again, following it with a happy gurgle...followed immediately by a fit of coughing.
"How about you finish your bottle so that you'll sleep and I can go lay down for a couple of hours?" he asked when the coughing had eased, trying to get Zhane to take the n****e again. The baby turned his head stubbornly away and Talon frowned. "Come on..."
Several more attempts yeilded similar refusal and frustration as he sighed and set the bottle aside. Fine. As he shifted Zhane to his shoulder to burp him, his scalp suddenly exploded in stinging pain as his son caught a handful of his hair and happily pulled on it with a squeal.
"Dammit...!!" he hissed, reaching up to try and detach the baby's fingers from his black tresses. Zhane laughed heartily, liking this game. Talon would no sooner get one tiny hand detached than the other would dig in and this went on for several minutes. His father, however, was not amused in the least and his head was beginning to smart rather badly. "Cut it out!" he demanded, met with more laughter and grabbing.
His temper had no sooner begun to stir than Zhane was suddenly and mercifully lifted out of his arms and the onslaught on his hair ceased. The dim light from outside reflected faintly on a pair of familiar violet lanterns.
"Go to bed." Yeande's voice whispered gently. "He's starting to perk up, but you look worse than you did yesterday."
"Gee, thanks..." he rumbled, smoothing back his hair and wincing slightly. In his mother's arms, Zhane quickly discovered that mommy had hair that was just as good for pulling as daddy's and wrapped his hand around a chunk of raven-and-gold.
She reached out, swatting her husband's shoulder lightly. "You know what I mean." she said, doing little more than wincing a bit as their son yanked on her hair. "You're no good to either of us dead."
"I'm not much good living either, or so I'm told." he muttered. A warm pair of lips met his own briefly in the darkness, making him pause for an instant.
"Bed." Yeande said again. "Now."
"Mm." he meant to argue that he was fine and that he could handle Zhane on his own and that she should go back to sleep before she caught whatever they had. Instead, his body turned traitor on him and shambled off toward the bedroom without argument. The prospect of sleep was infinitely more attractive to him at the moment than the prospect of talking his wife out of taking over for awhile.
Once he was gone, Yeande turned her attention to Zhane, moving to turn on the living room lamp so that she could see what she was doing. "I think someone's up way past his bedtime." she told him, reaching out to gently tap her son on the nose with the tip of one purple claw as he grinned and released her hair to grab her finger instead. "Were you giving daddy problems?"
The response was a wet squelching noise and a spreading warmth in the area of his diaper as the female ijiuo's earfins reflexively snapped down in reaction to the noise. "For me...? You shouldn't have." she remarked flatly. Zhane looked up at her cluelessly and offered another grin as she carried him to the nursery and the changing table therein.
She'd only been awake for ten minutes and already it was shaping up to be one of those nights.
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Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 4:31 am
"Dude, you look like hell." Terry remarked as he pulled up outside of Talon's house. This had been one of those days Karma had needed the car and, thankfully, Talon had had the option of getting rides to and from work from a couple of coworkers rather than resort to taking the bus.
"Huh?" the ijiuo asked, shaking himself out of his light doze to look blearily at Terry.
"Hell." the anthro white mouse repeated. "If Satan were to materialize in the car right now, he would try to crawl up your nose, that's how much like hell you look."
"I've got a sick baby, I'M sick, and I was told today I'd used up all of my sick days so I HAD to come to work or get canned, how am I supposed to look?" Talon grumbled.
"Point taken. You need to get some sleep, though. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't mind reaching over and giving you a shake whenever I see Jake coming and you're nodding off, but someday that's not going to save your a**."
"I know." he reached up to wipe at one eye irritably with the heel of his left hand. There was a pause between them and then Terry smirked and started to snicker. "....what?" the ijiuo asked, quirking a brow at his coworker.
"You were singing in the break room today."
"I was what?" Talon asked, not sure if he believed him or not.
"Singing. You dozed off and you started muttering some weird song about your father was orange and your mother was green or something like that. Lucy thinks you came to work drunk."
Talon fought the urge to slap his forehead. Granted, he knew all manner of quirky irish drinking songs, but that was just it. He KNEW them...he never sang them. He didn't even know how he'd come by his vast library of them and would forget them if he could.
"Oh for god's sake..." he snarled as Terry lost it and burst into donkey brays of laughter.
"Don't quit your day job, man, seriously." he said when he'd recovered enough to speak, reaching out to clap Talon on the shoulder. The ijiuo chose that moment to open his car door and duck outside, avoiding Terry's hand.
"I'll see you tomorrow." he said flatly over his shoulder, starting across the lawn.
"You're welcome for the ride!" Terry called after him in turn, though it wasn't without its good nature as he pulled away from the curb and disappeared down the street.
It was becoming more and more tempting with each passing day to simply quit. To tell Jake that he'd had it up to the eyeballs and then some, slap a notice of resignation on his desk, and storm out. It wasn't like he needed the job, he reasoned...
Not when they were still living with Karma and Youko. In separate houses.
Jesus christ, what kind of arrangement WAS this, anyway? He felt like holding his job at all was some sort of elaborate joke when his income didn't even DO anything. Zhane had hand-me-downs left and right from the twins and the fa'e kids. Karma and Youko provided the rent-free housing. Youko gave Yeande spending money whenever she needed it. What was HE doing, though?
What ARE you doing, Talon? he wondered as he reached the front door and paused there, hand wrapped around the knob for a moment before letting himself inside. If he was a drinking man, this would be one of those realizations that would make him limp off into the nearest tavern to lick his wounds for the rest of the night.
There was no one there to greet him as he padded silently through the house, into the bedroom, and bonelessly collapsed on the mattress in an exhausted, feverish, heap. His eyes had no sooner drifted closed than he was jarred awake by the sound of Zhane fussing.
No...no, god dammit, go back to sleep... he inwardly groaned. Talon wasn't sure that he could deal with him at the moment, and it appeared that he was the only one nearby to do so, conveniently enough.
The fussing became louder for a moment, then tapered off into softer whimpers, and then silence. Talon's eyes cracked open, almost unable to believe his luck. The times Zhane actually woke up and went back to sleep on his own without becoming lonely and crying were few and far between.
And always one to look a gift horse straight in the mouth, Talon grudgingly heaved himself out of bed to go make sure everything was all right.
In the nursery, he found nothing amiss. Zhane was sleeping peacefully on his stomach, one tiny fist pressed to his mouth and his tail curled around his ankle. He watched the infant for several moments, ensuring that everything was in order...that he wasn't sweating, that his breathing was normal, that he wasn't shivering.
Everything was fine, though, and Talon eventually excused himself just as quietly as he'd arrived to return to the bedroom and collapse in bed once again. The ijiuo stared at the ceiling blankly for a long time, letting everything become slowly swallowed in a black haze.
Giving him a future. That's what I'm doing. his mind proclaimed, quite on its own, in a much-belated answer to the question he'd asked himself at the front door. It was his last conscious thought before sleep overtook him.
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Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 6:00 am
Zhane laid awake in his crib, observing the nursery with the typical distracted and detached way most babies observed things. There was, of course, the four walls of the crib, the dangling, smiling faces of the plush lambs that were suspended from the mobile hanging overhead, and the various textures of softness and squishiness of the plushies he shared the crib with.
This was the only part of the house that he was well-acquainted with because it was where he spent the most time and, unlike the other rooms with he either found intimidating or was overcome with the urge to explore, his nursery radiated a feeling of comfort. Truthfully, Zhane didn't always immediately cry for attention. More often than not, he laid awake for sometimes an hour at a time, keeping entertained by babbling at himself to listen to the sound of his own voice and becoming enraptured by a random sight or texture.
It was only when he had bored himself with this, became hungry, or realized he was in need of a change that he would begin to cry. It was drawing near that time, too...he'd wet himself a few moments ago and the dankness was beginning to feel quite uncomfortable against his skin.
He didn't mean to cry, of course, it just felt so miserable that he couldn't help it. Tears were already prickling at the corners of his eyes as he gave a kick of his legs in a meager attempt to shake away the offending diaper to no avail. Nope, no good. If anything, that had made it worse. Without further ado, he began to wail.
"Dear me, such noise from someone so small..." a voice Zhane had never heard before proclaimed. The baby whimpered, choked, and looked around frantically for the source. It didn't sound like mommy OR daddy...
It was several moments until he focused on the plump green thing that was inching along the upper rail of the crib. Truth be told, Valtentin was one of Karma's oldest residents, but hid so well and so thoroughly, he was seldom ever seen. The cloak oculai paused, closer to Zhane's head, and watched him thoughtfully.
"You ARE a strange one, aren't you?" Val murmured, watching as the infant hitched a sob, still winding down from the crying fit he'd been about to produce as his upset at the discomfort in his diaper was replaced with intrigue at the strange green thing that was talking to him.
Would it squish if he squeezed it, he wondered?
The caterpillar, as though anticipating that this might be Zhane's next thought (it wasn't hard to anticipate when you were a bug...at least every third person you met wanted to squish you in some form), quickly inched a bit further up the railing onto the headboard of the crib.
"Don't you mind me, now..." he said, watching Zhane warily as the baby rolled onto his belly, beginning to attempt to pull himself up to try grabbing at Valtentin. "I'm just here to watch. I somehow think I'd get further observing you than I would watching either of your parents. At least until you learn how to properly tell me to get lost."
Val smirked at his own joke, and then at Zhane as the baby got halfway into a knock-kneed stand before collapsing to the crib's mattress once more. The oculai had always been hungry for knowledge, a literal "bookworm", and fields of minimal research held special intrigue for him. The ijiuo were, as far as he could gather, a fluke species that had appeared out of nowhere one evening that no one, not even Talon and Yeande themselves, had known anything about.
He'd tried and failed several times to observe them in their natural habitat before quickly coming to the realization that their natural habitat seemed to reside in the realm of NC-17. He had been overjoyed to know of Zhane's arrival because not only did it mean no longer having to take his chances with the parents, but it meant being able to observe an ijouo's growth from stage one.
So far, Zhane had yet to show anything remarkable and was, for all intents and purposes, a typical infant. But there was plenty of time for that to change and Val secretly hoped that it might.
Zhane's second attempt to get to his feet was a bit more successful as, leaning heavily against the railing of the crib, he extended one hand to reach for the stout green caterpillar.
"No no, I'm not for squeezing." Val chuckled, inching over the edge of the headboard and out of sight. "I might pop, after all, and that wouldn't be any good at all, would it?" Zhane didn't seem to realize that he posed a threat to the smaller oculai, all he knew was that his plan to grab up the small talking thing had been thwarted by said small talking thing moving out of sight.
He paused, blinking at where the oculai had once been and then looking about himself, blinking owlishly as though he expected the caterpillar to magically reappear elsewhere. With the distraction of Valtentin gone, he was quickly reminded of the cold wet diaper that was still adhered to his rear and thighs.
Oh yes, he'd completely forgotten about that, hadn't he? And it wasn't any more pleasant than it had been a few moments ago. Frustrated, uncomfortable, and generally feeling thwarted, Zhane began to cry. A moment later he plumped back onto his backside on the crib mattress, sending a fresh wave of wet coldness over his upper legs and cried about that as well.
This time there was no chubby green distraction as, a moment later, Yeande hurried into the nursery to retrieve him from the crib. "Shhh..." she soothed, giving his diaper a quick check and relocating him to the changing table. "Its all right, Zhane. You're all right. Mommy's here."
Valtentin, from his perch, observed everything in silence. Perhaps now hadn't been the best of times to make Zhane aware of his presense when he was too young to know how to be careful. Of course, if he grew up anything like his father, he might NEVER learn how to be careful. Either way, revealing himself hadn't been worth it as he'd not learned anything new to add to his notes and had likely just upset the baby in the longrun. If there was one thing Val didn't like, it was feeling as though he'd made a nuisance of himself.
A few moments later, Zhane had ceased crying and was giggling pleasantly at whatever his mother was telling him as she cleaned him up, babbling back at her in his own language. Telling her, perhaps, of phantom green men on the sides of his crib and how he was going to save the world from them once he grew up.
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:51 am
Diary Entry Dear Diary,
Zhane is finally over whatever bug came into this house and I'm slowly catching up. Yeande seems to have missed it entirely somehow by unknown means (I am not ruling out magic). He kept his good humor relatively well through all of this, I must say I'm surprised. I never thought my genes and Yeande's combined might create an optimist. Insert your own smartassed joke here about two wrongs making a right.
Speaking of wrong...
God help me, I've officially started looking into it. Its not that I want to. Nobody in their right mind WANTS to look into operations that involve cutting open parts of your anatomy that one gets squeamish thinking about even bumping too hard, but that's, nonetheless, what I've spent my afternoon doing.
Yeande went in to have her stitches out today and when she came home, informed me that she and Dr. Jenkins had discussed in greater detail why she and I should never have another child. They had briefly talked about scheduling Yeande for surgery to have her tubes tied, but had decided to wait until she'd discussed alternative options with me.
In other words, she wants me to have a vasectomy.
She assured me this was for the best. Just so we'd never have to worry about it again, but I know what the underlying message here is. I could see it in her eyes very clearly. I'm through with having near-strangers in labcoats stare at and poke things into my nether regions. Its YOUR turn for a change.
I could be an a*****e and argue this with her, I suppose. Part of me wants to, but the other part of me just wants it to be done with. I told her I'd do it.
I guess THAT'S what my income can go toward...funding this expendature. I work eight hours a day with braindead morons on the phone for the privelege of having some quack sedate me and flay open my groin with a scalpel. Ha! There's incentive for you.
I've read some websites and called a couple of the centers to ask. Apparantly its outpatient surgery that one recovers from in about a week which doesn't sound like anything I can't handle. I can't say I much care for this business of it possibly not succeeding, though.
I guess if I needed a further push in making my decision, Yeande also said that she thinks we should "abstain" until the operation's been done. God damn it.
....and since Zhane has been fussing in his nursery for the last ten minutes and nobody else has gone to see what's wrong, I guess that's MY cue. I wish *I* could have the option of selective hearing now and then.
~T
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 7:10 pm
"I think you're being just a touch melodramatic." Yeande sighed, shaking a Vicodin out of the orange cylinder with the prescription label.
"You see how perky you feel after someone takes something sharp and--"
"Talon? Don't even." she interrupted, narrowing her eyes. "I guarantee whatever they did to you down there is NOT worse than what I went through during the labor."
He growled and pulled himself into a slightly-tighter ball on the bed. He didn't CARE who had it worse, the fact was he was in pain and that moving, even a little, caused -more- pain. There had been no real preparation for the surgery aside from not eating twelve hours before it had been scheduled...the clinic had been able to take him two days after he'd called them, he'd gone in in the morning and been sent home again by early afternoon.
As far as he was concerned, he would be perfectly happy to remain right where he was until he'd recovered.
"Here." something small and bitter pushed against his mouth as he parted his lips to allow her to push the pill in. It sat there on his tongue, dissolving and making him wince until he swallowed reflexively, squeezing it down his throat.
Yeande bit back the urge to tell him what a baby she thought he was being about it. All he'd gotten was a couple of incisions that would probably not even scar when all was said and done. He'd not had to endure the months of carrying something low and heavy in his belly, or the stretchmarks, or the vomiting, or the restricted bladder capacity...
But no, she couldn't do that, for the simple reason that, though he would never understand how much she had hurt during the labor, he had sympathized. And so, she would do the same, she assured herself. Or try to, at least.
"Do you need anything? More ice?"
"No." came the muffled answer.
"The shades down?"
"I don't think I could sleep even if I wanted to right now."
"Maybe some wat--" Yeande's question was cut off by the familiar sound of crying that made both parents issue a groan. "I'll be right back." she sighed, turning to leave.
"No hurry." Talon wasn't even sure she heard it and shifted gingerly onto his back with a groan. At least, if there was any bright side to be had in ANY of this, he only had to do it once.
Yeande returned a moment later, Zhane in her arms. The baby looked quite awake and quite in good spirits as he was brought into their bedroom, brightening even further when he saw and recognized his father.
"Gwabah!!" he announced to no one in particular, reaching for Talon.
"Shhh....daddy's had a bad morning." Yeande told him, trying not to smirk and failing as she tweaked Zhane's nose gently. The baby flinched and then grinned, reaching for Talon again. "Someone wants to see you, Talon..." she told the blue-winged lump on the bed.
"No." came the growled response.
"Just for a minute?"
"If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have had to have this done." Maybe mothers forgot the pain quickly, but the same couldn't be said for fathers. It wasn't that Talonfaust resented his son, he supposed, but he was left with nowhere to direct his anger and it was frustrating.
"Don't you blame this on him, he's only a baby." Yeande scolded. Zhane's good spirits faltered at the start of his parents bickering and he buried his face in his mother's shoulder, as though suddenly growing shy.
"If you let him crawl around on me right now, I can guarantee you that I'll -find- something to blame on him."
Yeande rolled her eyes and then turned to go. "Fine. I'll come see you when the meds kick in and you're ready to be civil."
"Byaahh!!" Zhane cried, reaching over Yeande's shoulder at the retreating bedside as she left the room.
"Don't worry, honey." she said softly, though still loud enough for Talon to hear. "Your dad's just cranky and needs a nap." Talon's tail gave a resentful flick as she left and that was all of the movement he could muster in his defense.
Why was it when SHE went through physical trauma, she got balloons and Get Well cards, but when he was in pain, he got hassled? It hardly seemed fair.
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 2:50 pm
A sharp rap came to the door a moment before it was pushed open and a fox-eared Youko stuck his head inside. "Karma?" he called out, stepping in and shutting the door behind him. He knew better than to just walk into someone else's house, but it had pretty much been 'if the door's unlocked, it's safe' since the two of them had moved within a minute's walk of each other. A brown paper bag was cradled in the fox demon's arm as he passed through the kitchen and waved to the foxcoon with a towel around her head.
"I'm just going up to see Talon," he explained, waving her off and heading in the direction of the Ijiuo's room. He knew where it was... hell, he knew where most of the residents here were housed. This time, however, he was here to see one that he'd never really visited before.
The door was still open a crack, and he peered inside to catch sight of the Ijiuo on the bed, curled up into what appeared to be a rather pained ball.
He could sympathise.
The face that greeted him was pinched up in what could have been agony... and Youko knew better than to even bother asking how he was doing. The bag was set on the bed, a faintly bitter scent coming from it. "Don't get up, I'm only here to drop a few things off." Beginning to pull a few things from the bag, Youko set them on the bed in front of Talonfaust.
"Yeande has mentioned more than once your preferences, so I figured I couldn't go wrong with what she's said. The pickles are Claussen's... one of my faves. And the maki rolls are from Ichiban." Smiling faintly, he put them within reach of the other man.
The bleary eyes stared at him in confusion and just a bit of wariness. Likely wondering what the catch was.
Holding up both hands in a peaceful gesture, the fox just grinned. "Hey, if we can put up with HER cravings for nine months, you're entitled to yours now. I can imagine what you're going through, and figured you could use a bit of a pick-me-up too. It always made her feel better."
Without waiting for thanks, or offering any more of an explanation, Youko turned and slipped out of the room, leaving the pickles and sushi for the rather stunned Ijiuo.
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 3:46 pm
People often spoke of life's simple pleasures. Talon doubted very much that whoever had first coined that phrase had him in mind...nonetheless, he felt better as he resided in the darkened bedroom by himself, propped in a reclined sit and slowly masticating the maki rolls Youko had brought for him.
He didn't hurt quite so bad as he had yesterday. It still hurt, yes, but he could at least move now without hitting the ceiling. Maybe he WOULDN'T gore the doctors once he could get up again with minimal difficulty like he'd been promising himself he would. They'd said "mild discomfort for a few days", not "don't make any ******** plans, bucko".
He didn't know what exactly he'd done to get into Youko's good graces, either. The foxdemon never seemed to have anything actively against him, but he'd certainly never seemed to like him. Not enough to warrent a random dropoff of feel-better treats, at least. Maybe it was just the general "male sympathizing with male in 'that' kind of pain" scenario...at any rate, the sushi was good and had perked him up immensely.
Good thing too. He was supposed to go back to work tomorrow.
His thoughts turned to Yeande and Zhane, as they often did, and he hoped Yeande was faring all right caring for their son on her own while he'd been laid up in bed. Even for a well-behaved baby, Zhane was still a handful for either of them to deal with.
He reminded himself of how Zhane had actively asked to go to him the other day and he'd shunned him due to his post-surgery pain. Cringing inwardly, Talon wondered if that was one of those things that would come back to haunt him someday....someday when Zhane was much older and didn't have time for his parents anymore. And Talon would dwell on that one moment for the rest of his life and kick himself over it.
He shook himself off of that train of thought, telling himself not to be ridiculous. He'd just....make it up to him when he was feeling better, that was all. He looked down at the remaining sushi and sighed, setting it aside for later. The current mental images presenting themselves weren't doing much for his appetite and he was suddenly glad nobody else was here at the moment. They'd undoubtedly have something snide to say about him not being happy unless he had something negative to obsess over.
His time with Zhane when he was still small wasn't quite over yet, besides...there was still plenty to do and his son was just a baby right now. There were still first steps to watch, first words to help him through, taking him out to play catch when he was older, teaching him to read...
Sure. There were still plenty of things.
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 4:11 pm
Diary Entry An open letter to my supervisor:
Dearest Jacob,
When I hand you a doctor's note telling you that I am on post-operative pain medication and you sign it, that means that you acknowledge that I am on said medication, shitbarn. That does not mean that you come by my cubicle, pick up my pill bottle, rattle it loudly and announce that maybe I wouldn't fall asleep on the job if I wasn't taking narcotics at work.
Seriously. ******** you. If you're trying to impress Lucy with what a funny man you are, you're wasting your time. She's already told everybody except you what a jerk-off she thinks you are and that she'd tag-team the entire janitor squad before she'd even think of going to bed with you.
Also, stop looking for reasons to b***h at me. It makes no sense that you threaten to write me up for coming back from lunch two minutes late when you, yourself, take a leisurely ten minutes past your appointed back-time to do whatever it is you do in the bathroom. I've told you what my current situation is. The district manager seems to understand. The building manager seems to understand. I don't quite get why you don't. No, the world doesn't stop turning just because I have a baby, but MY world sure becomes a hell of a lot more difficult.
I will give you my best effort to be to work every day on time. I will give you my best effort to come in on days I'm not assigned to cover for people. That is all I can promise you. Accept that some days s**t happens and circumstance will make me a whopping three minutes late now and then. I have never waited till the last minute to call in sick, the only time I left in the middle of a shift was when Yeande went into labor, I always do everything according to the book.
So please. I beg you. Stop flying at me with your claws out every time you see me and start focusing on the real troublemakers for once. Why don't you ever get on Lance's a** for mouthing off at the customers? What about when Taisa always leaves work early to go get her kids from Gymboree? How about Drake stealing s**t from the supply closet and harrassing the bagel girl whenever she comes to our floor?
In short, and with all due respect, sir, I humbly suggest that you take a flying ******** at a rolling doughnut.
Sincerely,
Employee 6405
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