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Wow...Well, Fuu....There's hardly anything I could say to that without being excruciatingly cruel and vulgar. Because all of the "nicer things" I would say, have already been said by everyone else, and for that I say bravo.
However, I will say this, and I'm going to try to be as nice as possible:

People like that aren't friends. They are, to put it quite frankly, leeches. They only stick around because you have something to offer them. They are selfish, horrid people not even worth spitting on. Yes, I know I sound harsh, and I'm a blunt a*****e. But oh well. The truth is, there are just so many people who are like that. It can be very draining and just...unhealthy. I know, because people have done the same to me all of my life. And I used to let them. Oh, it was just fine with me. "Hey, let's pile more bullshit and drama on Luke. He won't mind." "Oh yeah, go ahead guys!" Yeah. I was stupid back then. Stupid and far too kind for my own good. I let so many people walk all over me, I sometimes look back and laugh at my own naive foolishness. I would let people use me, out of fear of losing them. But things change. Not too long ago, a lot of things happened that I can't fix, and it changed me into...whatever the hell I am now. And ever since then, I just don't care about the leeches. If people want to kick me out of their lives because they've decided I'm no longer useful to them or what other reasons, then hey, whatever, they can ******** off.

Because people who treat you like that.....ugh....that's not even rectifiable. Someone like that is not a friend. Not if they OBVIOUSLY don't give a damn about you. And people like that piss me off. I may not know you very well, Fuu, but I DO know that you are far better than that. You deserve REAL friends. Real friends aren't people who stick around you to serve themselves or feed their own ego. Real friends are people who truly know you, faults and all, and yet love you anyway. Real friends stick with you when you feel like your life is over, to help you see that it's just intermission.

.........Yeah, sorry for ranting...and the language...and for just being overall rude. ANYWAY...

Just keep going, and get rid of the leeches. If you don't, they'll just keep sucking the life out of you. Life will get better...eventually. Keep tryin'.

Thank you everyone, I'm seriously comforted by all of your advice, i've taken it onboard and released that i really have to ditch them in order truely be happy. Just like Banshee/luke said, you let these things happen to you because you think your being a good mate but in doing so, but your just allowing yourself to get trodden on. And Nizzi, your description of your friend was EXACTLY how my friend acts, we have the similar interests and she always has to get the stuff before me, or claim it and then say 'you have my permission to get it too'
Im like: 'well jee thanks, even though i saw it first?'

I have to get my manga books off her too but i dont know when. Thanks guys, youve all helped me tremendously and you probably wont realise this but Im crying right now, ive never felt so much support and its true gift to be able to have friends like you. Rea an Mizu are right, i have to get off the dope, not like im dependnt of it its just a dtress relief, im goin to have to have a serious convo with God. and as for boys go, every boy ive bin with has beena disaster after disaster so im goin to leave it and like you said mizu, let my heart lead the way.

I'm half south african, lol havnt you seen a picture of me yet IK?

REALLY! 0__0 i swear you've seen me rea, ill post it dont worry wink

Great. Just great. A hurricane is heading straight for us. AGAIN.
After a year of mostly....well, bullshit...I've been starting to become at least a little bit more stable. And then this s**t happens. Lovely.
I HATE Louisiana. I wish I wasn't born here. I never wanted to stay here. I can barely put into words how much I hate it. Something like...as;lkfjas;lkdmcv;asldkfas;dlkjf;waietha;lskdfla;kd
Yeah, something like that.
UGH!!!
I feel like hitchiking my a** all the way across the country 'till I find a place with no hurricanes, no one-hundred-million-strong swarms of mosquito's, no cheating, backstabbing ex-girlfriends/fiance's, and ESPECIALLY no people who are even REMOTELY related to me in ANY way, on ANY of the many sides of my accursed family!!!! But OF COURSE I can't do that, because I'm so tied down by whatever it is inside me that makes me always stop and give everything I have, both materially and emotionally, to everybody else, because they need help!!! Noooo, I can't be selfish. I can't help myself. I can't once, just once, do what's best for myself, because I guilt-trip myself into doing everything that's best for the people who constantly have no choice but to lean on me, because apparently I'm the only ******** person in this huge circle of people that gives a flying rat's a** about the welfare of my niece, my nephew, and every other person in the said circle!!!! If I were more of a selfish a*****e, I wouldn't have to worry about any of that, and by now I'd probably be halfway across the country with enough money to at least keep myself alive! I wish for just ONE DAY I could just not care about ANYTHING. So instead of that nagging feeling I get that's always saying "Oh, well, my bank account's just about empty AGAIN, and I've only got about three hundred dollars left on me, my brother and sister REALLY need the money right now cause if they don't get it, they'll lose their house, so I'm just gonna give 'em all my money again and be flat broke for yet another month. It's okay, I'll live. And I can always save up some more later. Even though once I do save up money, somebody's gonna need help and I'll be a dumbass again and give them everything I have, but it'll be okay, as long as everybody else is happy." and all that other bullshit, instead I would just ignore it and go about my merry way. But I can't do that. Why? Because I do care.

And I laugh at them when they make the promises they feel they have to make. Because they feel so guilty. I hate looking into their eyes because it's so pathetic it makes me want to vomit sometimes. They truly feel bad, because they KNOW how totally screwed I am and have been. They KNOW that what I'm giving them is all I have. But they take it anyway cause what other choice do they have other than living on the street or wtfever? And so they promise me, oh, I'll find a way to pay you back somehow. You've saved us again, Luke. This means so much to me. You talk bad about yourself all the time, but you're not such a bad guy and blahblahblah whatever. I've heard it a million times. And I don't care. Cause I never really expect anything back. I'm GIVING, not lending. But I don't want their damn apologies and promises of paying me back and all that bullshit. First of all, I believe promises don't amount to s**t in this world. If I ever learned anything from my ex-fiance, it was that. Second, I don't want anything back, other than knowing that everyone will be okay. All I have to give, I give it. Cause I apparently haven't learned ALL my lessons in this past year of complete and utter bullshit.
Gah. Whatever. This has gone on far too long.
And yeah, I know, I know, I said I wasn't gonna use this thread for myself. But I'm not typing this for help from anyone. I'm typing it because I felt like I needed to rant to try to make myself feel better. Only it's not working. So I'll stop now. I'm just gonna go outside, light some candles, listen to music, and smoke at least an entire pack of cigarettes. And then write a blog or poem or something cause I'm nowhere NEAR done bitching to myself, but the language I need for the rest is waaaay not appropriate for everyone to read. I wish I had some vodka. Let's go out and buy some! Oh wait, I can't, because I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!! And of course I'm not going to ask my two-steps-away-from-losing-their-house brother and sister for some money so I CAN go buy something, cause again, my heart just loves to punish me with guilt, and if I asked them, I would feel like complete s**t.

Yeah...whatever. GN'R, GN'R, I NEED to listen to GN'R!!! Where are my tapes? Oh yeah, I left them in texas! They're probly in a frickin' pawn shop or something by now. So....CD's...gotta remember where I put them...

Anyway...Stick a fork in me. I'm frickin' done.

Whoa...thanks Lady crying
I'm trying, I really am. Actually, after the hurricane, if I'm still alive, I'm moving far away from here. I was planning on just traveling across the country, but my sister in Alabama wants me to move over there. I dunno...sounds like a good plan to me. I really don't care right at this moment. I'll deal with the hurricane and s**t first, then worry about where I'm going next. The main reason I want to leave soon is because today my parents came over and started s**t as they always do, and this time they went WAY TOO FAR. And they've pissed me off for last time. I don't plan on ever seeing them again for the rest of my life. They can burn in hell for all I care...even though I don't even really believe in hell...but anyway....
Yeah. And it looks like the direction of the hurricane is changing. It might not hit us too badly. Might go to New Orleans. Which is a relief to me, cause I've been worrying like hell about my friend. That's mostly why I'm staying with him. I have this odd deal where I think if I'm right there with the people I love, I can protect them from anything. Rather stupid and ridiculous, I know, but that's just the way I feel. Anywho...yeah I'm done now XD

I honestly think that anyone who has posted with words of comfort in this thread has a heart too generous for their own good. Myself included. I've been walked over like a carpet far too many times, but that doesn't stop me from being a general softy. n_n

Luke, if you do manage to just roam the country to get away from it all, TAKE ME WITH YOU. *ahem* Er, or not, it's entirely up to you.

I have a friend who's a lot like you--her income is squat and she has rent and bills to pay, but whenever her siblings come crying to her for money, she gives them some because she's too soft to say no. My advice to her was to firm up her resolve and tell them no, they have to stand on their own two feet for once, and if it was necessary, have them call me, because I could guilt-trip them into apoplexy, and I would for her sake. I would make the same advice for you, but it sounds like you have another solution, so I'll only offer that as a plan B or plan C if you need one. Seriously, if you need me to b***h someone out because they're too damn insensitive to see that they're wearing you down to the end of your rope, I will. Y'know... assuming you want me to... >_>

Anyway, the next time someone tries to walk all over you because they're used to you being so generous, just remind yourself that sometimes just saying "Uh, no, do it yourself" can help the other person more in the long run than immediately helping out can. They aren't gonna learn to stand on their own if you keep holding 'em up, after all, and y'know what they say...

You gotta be cruel to be kind.