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"So does that explain why your face turns to a strawberry every time sex is even hinted at? Do I effect you that much?" Gods! He was going to have to try and train that reaction out of himself, he really didn't have a clue why he blushed so much around the subject... after all he was far from some virgin maiden nervous about her first time, and it wasn't as if he hadn't seen every inch of the man before him already.... but how in the world did you even attempt to train such a thing away?

He gulped a little, but found himself replying anyway.... "I guess so. You're just so...." It was only then that Dante looked up at the guy, "...blunt. About everything." He shrugged, trying to keep an air of control despite the fact that he was cringing on the inside. Why in the world was he making this situation worst by actually having a conversation with the guy on it? Especially since it was only going to have one result.... embarrass the crap out of Dante. Still, he found himself protesting a little weakly, "It's not every time....." Again, with most of the things that spilled from Jeremy's lips, it was probable just a teasing remark; but he couldn't help but fall for it every time.

"Hm. Impressive,"

"Thanks." He mumbled, messing with his hands under the table. Nerves built up, and it felt like all he could do was wait for an eternity to see what happened.... though he had to admit the smell was delightful.

"This cake is just a couple levels down from sex," That particular comment had Dante quirking a brow, and he couldn't help but grin. Even if Jeremy hadn't meant it, Dante actually took that as a bloody high compliment from the guy. After all.... "From a guy who obviously likes sex, I will take that as a high compliment." Was he really grinning like a Cheshire cat? Yep.... it seemed he really was a glutton for punishment around Jeremy, and he was pretty sure the other would comment! It wasn't like he had stopped teasing him since they had got here.....

His thoughts were snapped though when he saw Jeremy lean towards him, finding himself frozen to the spot as the guy licked at the chocolate on his lips. Never mind indeed..... and with that disappeared all cognitive thought, at least for a moment. That probably explained why Dante found himself leaning across the table a moment later, keeping himself close but not touching Jeremy. "If you wanted to kiss me.... you really didn't need to make up an excuse." He winked playfully, even as his heart started to race. It was the first time he had teased the guy in return tonight, and with each work Dante couldn't help but remember how fun it was. Before he changed his mind he found himself saying, "You know what they say though.... eating chocolate off something is far more pleasurable." He chuckled for a moment before slinking back down into his seat. And sure enough, that darn blush had returned. No matter how brave his words it seemed his body always gave him away.

To distract himself he stuffed a mouthful of cake into his mouth. Yep, couldn't speak if your mouth was full....

"If you want to say something, say it. If you want to do something, do it. It's a waste of time otherwise, isn't it? Besides, it's a part of my job," Dante should have predicted the guy would think that way, and it was almost shameful to hold anything against him when it said it like that.... still, Dante found himself trying to justify his earlier words. "I never said I didn't like it.... I'm just not used to it." He admitted softly, though he avoided eye contact while he did.

His eyes widened slightly as he was poked, and complimented. "You're cute." And dear God that had him blushing again... or had he ever stopped? It was hard keeping track now, and he Dante was starting to just ignore his body since it seemed to have a life of it's own tonight. "Eh... thanks." He said, not entirely sure why he was cute or if it was a good thing. In an effort to take some of the focus off himself he ended up adding softly, "You're not bad yourself." He smiled a little. It was actually rather strange to be complimented for real, and after thinking about it a little more he decided he would take Jeremy's words as such. Dante had long since hated those who simply passed on words of praise simply because they wanted something, or thought he wanted to hear them... though given his track record it seemed he had a habit of falling for exactly that type. Would Jeremy turn out to be just the same? Maybe? But the difference was, he had already told Jeremy who his Father was and the guy was still treating him the same as before.... so yeah, he really did like that straight forward bluntness of his.

Back in his seat after teasing Jeremy he had noticed a subtle change in the guys expression... disappointment? What at? Being teased with no 'reward'.... or perhaps at Dante's words? Confused much? Yep, that seemed to be his 'go to' point around this guy. Though he had to admit he rather enjoyed the thought that it was possible Jeremy was disappointed he had kissed him or something before retreating... almost made him feel a little empowered. After all, how many could boast having anything over on this guy? Dante predicted the answer was few if any.

"If I wanted to kiss you, I would have. I'm not one to beat around the bush much, remember?" Dante chuckled at that, talk about your works coming back to bite you! Still, he supposed it was true.

"True true.... I guess I will just have to reside myself to the fact that I am obviously not that kissable then." He hadn't meant his words to sound quite like that, but once they had flown from his lips it was too late to lasso them back. Of course, that thought didn't last long as he watched Jeremy wander around the table to his side, and WOW... that kiss was.... divine. It seemed just so unfair that Jeremy was so good at everything. The slight hint of chocolate mixed in was rather intriguing, adding a different dimension to the kiss.

He liked the near forceful pressure on his neck pulling him closer, liked the passion as his tongue danced and mingled with Jeremy's. Yes, there was something about this man that brought something out of Dante that he hadn't ever realised was even there. Still, he kept his hands to himself.... not trusting what he would do should Jeremy try and pull away now. Great... he really was some teenage boy after all.

It ended to quickly for Dante's liking.... even if it hadn't exactly been a short kiss. He looked up at the guy, his focus 'impeccable' as always. "Thanks for dinner. And dessert," He smiled softly. "You're welcome. Any time." He said honestly, no longer nervous given that things had worked out ok... at least Dante thought they had.

The problem? What should he do now. His body was telling him one thing... but his brain was telling him another. Deciding to meet half way between his warring sides he found himself pulling Jeremy back down so he could claim his lips again for a brief but passion infused kissed, the question 'What now?' So close on his lips that he had been about to say it aloud. Pulling back his eyes turned to the remaining cake on the table... and unsure what possessed him he found his finger being dipped into the cream before running it down Jeremy's naked chest. Perhaps it really was a good job the guy had left it open... easy access and all that! Not giving Jeremy any time to protest or react he leaned up, following the course his finger had taken with his mouth, his tongue lapping up the cream just like a cat with a saucer of milk. Once it was gone he sat back, sucking the remaining treat from his finger in a rather provocative way before saying, "Delicious." ...and he wasn't talking about the cake.

"Down boy," He pouted a little, but covered quickly, even as his eyes watched Jeremy button up his shirt. "Spoil sport...." He found himself breathing under his breath before chuckling softly, though he supposed Jeremy was indeed right....

He was about to get up and take the dishes to the sink when Jeremy's question landed on his ears, and as quickly as that he found himself completely thrown... how in the world was he suppose to answer that? Either way he didn't see it going well, if he was honest it was possible it would push the guy away... if he lied a little it would likely come across as disinterested... that said, did Dante really know what Jeremy was to him? Sure, he had come to realise over the past couple of days that he actually missed talking with him and just being in his company. He was always aware that his attention often drifted towards the guys office as he wondered what he was doing....

He leaned his elbows on the table and rested his head on his knuckles, his eye's appearing slightly glazed over as he continued to think. All in all.... Dante wasn't sure how he felt, or maybe that wasn't entirely true.... maybe he simply wasn't admitting it to himself. His heart raced, and he was aware he needed to give an answer soon or he would likely look like a moron.. thankfully the time in his mind was far longer than that of reality. "I'm not sure what to tell you." He admitted softly, deciding he would be honest... though that didn't mean he had to reveal everything. "Still figuring that out I suppose. It's only been like... a week? Two? Since this all started...." He chuckled, suddenly feeling silly for feeling the way he did about the guy. "....still getting to know you. But...." He blushed then, "I do know that my eyes seem to seek you out.... I think about you a lot... probably more than I should.... and... I like being around you." He chuckled, trying to cover up his embarrassing words with humour. Part of Dante wanted to say more... but he couldn't think of what to say, his mouth suddenly incredibly dry.

Taking a sip of his drink he forced himself to say... "Why?" Though in actual fact he really wanted to ask, 'What am I to you?' But like with many things, Dante hesitated and lost the moment and courage to do so.

Dante listened, finding himself relaxing a little as Jeremy replied. "I guess I'm just... intimidated by how much you effect me," Those particular words had his eyes widening a little.... so, he wasn't the only one who felt like that? Well, that was encouraging to know.

"And how easily you seem to surprise me." That had Dante curious... what exactly did he do to surprise the guy? Nothing he could think of would fall under that category... or maybe it did... after all Dante was almost a different guy around Jeremy at times, it was almost as if he could open up and just be without worrying too much and getting criticised for it. What was it about Jeremy that made him feel... safe?

His thoughts were interrupted when Jeremy presented his request, and he had to admit that that was probably the last thing he would have expected from Jeremy. Yet, it actually made him... happy. A grin spreading over his features, as he stood up from his chair, completely ignoring all the dishes and the left over cake as he approached Jeremy. His movements were slow and steady, not wanting to appear too 'aggressive' right now. Taking Jeremy's hand he tugged softly, "One snuggle bunny.... reporting for duty." He said, his words a little playful although he was serious. Ok, so part of him could see the 'creepy' point of view from the guys words but he wasn't taking them like that. If anything, he actually agreed that this could be good for them. As if to show his support he repeated the 'condition'. "No sex." He nodded softly before leading them to the bedroom.

Of course, once there he wasn't really sure how to go about this. Deciding it would be best to just act and see he let Jeremy's hand go, kicked off his shoe and climbed onto the bed, turning to face the guy as he patted the spot next to him. His eyes never leaving Jeremy's own. "So...." He drawled, trying to consider something to say so that it didn't turn 'awkward'. Of course, what came out was beyond lame. "....what shall we talk about?" Yep, because that was a great conversation starter... not! It seemed he was cursed with a dose of 'blank-mind-syndrome'.

Dante could tell that Jeremy was just as 'nervous'... or rather awkward as he was, but he didn't comment or make a big deal of the hesitation. Yet he strangely found himself relaxing as the guy lay down and rested his head.... but boy, the intensity was almost enough to make him squirm. For once though, Dante didn't shy away.

"Tell me about your first kiss." He chuckled at that, hell of an opening question.... but actually Dante didn't mind it. If anything if made him relax a little more, all the while his eyes taking in the guys intensive stare, the way his hair flopped while he lay down, the way his muscles seemed flex and relax..... ok.... so, it was very likely he was being just as intense with his own 'inspection'.

"Well.... I suppose my first was stolen when I was thirteen. Serra. I kept receiving these confession letters from someone, always the same purple paper and the same handwriting.... then one day I caught her posting it into my locker. I would have expected her to run away but she didn't.... instead she ended up backing me into a corner," Yeah, because it seemed Dante was always one to let others push him around. He still couldn't believe he had backed away from her as she advanced.... ah well, a leopard couldn't change his spots. "She asked me if I liked her too....." He blushed a little and chuckled remembering it, "....I was so shocked that all I could do was blush and shake my head at her like the idiot I am. So she ended up kissing me before winking and saying... 'well then, just a little something to help me get over you' and then she left." He ran his hand through his hair, something he seemed to do a lot. "We actually became good friends after that."

He took a deep breath, "As for the first person I wanted to kiss someone.... well.... it was some guy when I was seventeen. I don't really remember much beyond the fact that I was so nervous and afterwards he laughed at me." He shrugged as if it didn't bother him now, which it didn't.... but at the time? Man, he had been devastated. Maybe that was when he stopped trying to be so forward and daring around others? He never considered it before. "I do remember the conversation that lead to the kiss though... so embarrassing to look back on it now, rather pathetic too." He laughed again, "I remember watching him for a while, and he was always nice to me so one day I figured I would at least try... plus my friend Serra kept pushing me to go for it...." He chuckled a little, he had literally been pushed into the guys path by her. Putting on a goofy voice he spoke, "....I know you don't really know me.... but I like how you play basketball... would you consider going out with me?" Yes, pathetic 'chat up line', not as if it could really be considered much of one, and yes it was possible Dante was revealing too much to Jeremy. Too late now though. "First and last time I ever hit on a straight guy."

Looking over at Jeremy again he asked, "You?"

Dante listened as the other spoke, and couldn't help but laugh at the idea of a 'bloody kiss'. "Sounds... tasty." He teased, fully able to imagine how much that hurt.... plus the iron taste... yuck. Not exactly the best first kiss, but hey... made one hell of a story! Dante couldn't really remember ever trying to convince himself he was 'straight'... or gay for that matter, it just seemed to happen. Though he supposed he had questioned it a lot, and tried to keep it a secret so he didn't get mocked... but then again, he supposed deep down he was fully aware that he eyes lingered on the guys more than the girls. It had only been once he had befriended Serra that he had had the courage to truly admit it to himself. Back then it had never occurred to Dante to tell his parents, believing he would have plenty of time... wow, things were so different now to then. But that was life, everything changed... you blinked and you were in a different place and time.

"But he was a football player," Dante could just imagine that. "Impressive." He teased, a smile on his face as he listened. Seemed that this particular memory was a good one for Jeremy.... it was almost as if Dante could see the stars and clouds and butterflies floating around the guy as he spoke... and that blush! How rare for Jeremy to blush. Unable to stop himself he found his hand reaching forward to stroke that blush, "Cute." He muttered before drawing his hand back. It hadn't been a sexual move, simply exploration.

"Tell me about your first time. But keep it PG-13-ish, of course." That had Dante laughing again, "Man... I knew that was coming." It was the logical progression in this topic area it seemed... the conversation naturally flowing from kiss to sex, he had seen it a thousand times before.

He ruffled his hair, completely embarrassed by his first time. It had been bad... beyond bad actually, it was a wonder he had ever tried again! "We rented a hotel room.... so cheesy, but didn't want to get caught.... and eh.... well, it started off nice. All kisses and heat, a lot of fumbling.... didn't have a clue what I was meant to do or how to make him feel good, but that was the same both ways." He laughed a little nervously then, the images from that night replaying in his head like a poorly filmed home movie. He was pretty sure the guy had slept with women but it was different with a man, or so he assumed since he had never slept with a woman. "We kinda rushed things... clueless, utterly clueless.... well, things didn't go as planned, as you can imagined when it came to 'Inserting part A into part B', hurt like a b***h too." He paused for a moment, his eyes looking at the bed now rather than Jeremy. "Not good, not good... we didn't try it again with each other after that." He admitted. It hadn't been until he next sexual encounter that he really got to know anything, and he had been so nervous that he had nearly run away from the start.

"Strange how everyone seems to think it will be easy their first time...." He looked back up at Jeremy then. Adding a little joke with a smile, "Hopefully I have improved since then.... but given that you haven't complained... at least not to my face... well...." He shrugged, "I'm just going to think what I want." He chuckled softly, not entirely sure why he had brought that up... after all, they had agreed no sex... and Dante really wasn't trying to change that. He hoped that the fact he hadn't made a move or tried anything would prove that he was taking Jeremy's request serious. In truth... he was rather comfortable lying here like this with the guy. It was.... nice.

"Come on then.... tell me...." He giggled, his imagination casting Jeremy in the role of Casanova in his mind. "...your first was more.... successful right?" He couldn't imagine the guy lying next to him ever fumbling or getting confused, but then again, he knew that everyone changed.... what would he had thought if he had met a younger version? Dante bet he had changed a lot, especially after the rape.... would they have ever mingled though? They just seemed so different that it was hard to imagine them sharing the same friendship groups.

Dante went to ask a question then, but found himself stalled for a moment... the typical 'what do you regret most' or 'what was the worst thing you ever did' weren't questions he wanted to drag out in fear of their answer. Instead he tried to stay with a relatively 'safe' topic. "How many people have you slept with?" Ok, so it was highly likely that he wouldn't like the answer... or that Jeremy wouldn't know the answer. Dante already knew that the guy was quite a player... and even if he only picked up a different man every weekend, well, that made 52 a year. Just considering that actually made Dante feel suddenly inexperienced... how many men had he slept with? Including Jeremy it was.... he listed them in his head... eight.

"Oh no, you're horrible in bed. I just have sex with you out of pity." Dante rolled his eyes at this, adding a very sarcastic "Ha ha!" in reply, though he still had a smile on his features. Granted, he was completely blown away with Jeremy's next words. I like your bravery?! That had Dante messing up his hair again, and it suddenly occurred to him that he was suddenly developing a new nervous tic... great, just what he needed, another one. He didn't comment though, fearing that he would make a fool of himself... plus, what exactly were you meant to say to that? Oh you're great too? Nope, safer to remain silent. Though the words did bring back a memory of Kyle, the guy had told him once that he was like two different people at times.... the fool and the fiend. At the time he had never really thought much about it, but now... well, it seemed the guy may have actually had a point. Dante didn't exactly see himself as 'brave'... he just... went with what he felt at the time. It was probably in those moments that he was the most honest about what he wanted and how to get it, since it was more his body in control than his mind.... yet, he had noticed that since he had met Jeremy more and more of that side of himself was showing up in his every day conversations and actions. A new confidence he hadn't known could exist. Just look at how he teased Jeremy back, he didn't simply play dead and let the guy walk all over him... something he knew he had done in the past. Was it possible he was opening up and becoming the 'true' him?

It was strange to think that way...

As Jeremy started to describe his first time Dante couldn't help but smile and chuckle a little, at least he wasn't the only one who had had a disastrous first time! The whole 'dead fish' brought an image to his mind that would be hard to erase. Yet, it was almost comforting that he wasn't the only one who had felt foolish, granted you couldn't see any trace of the boy Jeremy described in the actions of the man he had grown to be. What had been like back then? Part of Dante thought it would have been nice to have meet a Jeremy before all the bad things.... before the rape, before his brother's death and his father's abandonment.... would they have even spoken? He couldn't exactly imagine them having the same friendship groups. "A summer fling..." He teased, "....never would have pegged you for a romantic." That was a lie, in truth Dante was aware of several times when the guy had been subtly so.... even if they were only small things they made Dante smile.... the way his actions always possessed a touch of chivalry... or the way he would offer to help him when he was in trouble... or seemed to actually consider Dante's feeling in his words and actions despite the teasing. Ok, maybe Dante was thinking too much about this.... he was well aware that if he allowed himself to linger on such ideals he may well fall in love with the guy here and now.

All Dante knew for sure, or at least all he would admit to himself, was that he wanted Jeremy to be happy. But there was more than that, he wanted himself to be happy too. No more always caving, no more letting himself get abused and walked over... even if it made him appear selfish at times... he was going to speak up, not all the time, but enough to make himself feel... equal. It was for this reason that he visibly cringed at the way Jeremy seemed to react to his question about number of partners. He had known the answer would be hard, but watching the guy made him want to take back his words... so much for a safe topic. Dante was about to tell him not to answer when a reply drifted towards him, and didn't that just make him feel worst! Not because of the 'a lot', after all he had predicted that and known it from the beginning... Jeremy hadn't hidden that he often cruised the bars, and at the time that had been exactly what Dante had wanted. It surprised him though that he had been one of the few that Jeremy had gone all the way with.... but then again, given that Dante had gone out that night with exactly that result in mind he was just as much to blame as Jeremy was. Still, he couldn't shift the sound of Jeremy's voice, or the hidden tone that lay below it... to Dante's ears it seemed as if Jeremy saw himself as 'dirty'. Something that Dante wouldn't stand for. Maybe he felt so strongly about it since he knew the catalyst that had started all of this.... in truth Dante hadn't even stopped to consider STD's or to use the word 'whore'. Which is why he looked Jeremy squarely in the eyes as he spoke, his expression and tone clearly showing the honesty and sincerity of his feelings. "I don't see you as a whore..... and I couldn't care less what your ex thinks." He smiled a little, hoping to lift the mood a little. "It's his loss... my gain... and bitterness can make people say and do some horrible things." And man, bitterness didn't half follow you around after a break up or argument. Take what Kyle had said and done recently for example... and the worst part was that before meeting Jeremy, Dante probably would have taken each word to heart and felt devastated by them... instead... he couldn't care. It was in the past, and it could stay there.

Allowing the change in topic he paused for a moment to contemplate his first heartache, it was likely not what Jeremy expected... or maybe it was simply Dante's interpretation of the question was off. Still as he contemplated all the times he had had his heart broken it made him seriously wonder how many times he had actually allowed himself to get hurt.... of course, the incident he spoke of first was the only time Dante could say for sure that his heart had been truly shattered. The shards unrecognisable from their former self. "My first heartache.... my dog dying." He smiled, though it was a little sad as all the memories he hadn't thought in a while about came flooding back like some bad home movie. To this day he still missed that dog. "My Father got me him for my birthday, his name was Chester. He was just a mutt, everyone wanted me to get a pedigree but I wasn't interested." Out of all the dogs that looked at him from the kennels only Chester had called to him. The outcast... never quite living up to the expectations of others, didn't that just speak volumes for Dante. "I was never really allowed to hang out with others outside of school, and no one dared come to my house... so most of the time it was just my Mother and I.... and then Chester. We were inseparable. We got into soooooo much trouble." He laughed a little as a particular memory came back. "Once... we were meant to keep nice and clean because my Father was bringing round some business partner. Well, we had intended to.... but after sitting on the back step for so long we started to get bored, and then I saw something move in the bush and Chester growled. So obviously we went to explore, which required some good old crawling in the dirt. I was covered, twigs and spiders webs everywhere... mud clinging to everything, and my suit was ruined. My Mother was really mad. I had never seen her quite that furious before... especially since on top of all that, we had left muddy prints on the floor and hand prints on the door. She dumped us both in the bath and scrubbed me so hard I was red raw." Yeah, he loved his mother... but man... when she was angry you better watch out! "Never did that again." He admitted before sighing softly, "Anyway, one day Chester managed to get out.... he saw me coming down the road and ran towards me, a car hit him." He smiled, though there was no happiness behind it. If anything it was simply to hide the fact that it still hurt. Dante could still remember the moment he heard the 'thump', remember the way Chester's body twisted before slamming to the ground. He was dead before Dante had even reached him, and he had clung so hard to the dead body that it had actually taken three people to force him to let go of his dog. Something wet trickled down his face... he wasn't crying... he wasn't.... no, really.... darn he was crying. He rolled onto his back and wiped his eyes roughly. Taking a moment to look up at the ceiling. Ok, it was slightly pathetic that a grown man was crying, and over a dog of all things, but he couldn't stop it.

Pushing through he found himself speaking, though his voice wasn't as strong as before "If you meant heartache in terms of romance... well... that award would probably go to my first proper boyfriend." He took a deep breath, turning to look back at Jeremy, the tears having stopped now. "I was dumped for a woman." He smiled and laughed at that, "No way of competing there. I remember what he said before he left, "It's been fun, but I want a wife and kids. You can't be either, we both knew this would end one day. Thanks. Bye." and then he was gone." Leaving a devastated Dante behind. Perhaps he should have seen it coming but in truth he hadn't, not at all. Thinking about it.... it actually seemed he had really bad taste in men, all of them hurting or betraying him in one way or another. That said, Jeremy was different.... he could still remember what he had thought the first time he had seen the guy, and before he knew it he found himself speaking out loud... "You know... when I first saw you, I thought you were totally out of my league." Perhaps that was simply because his opinion of himself had diminished to a speck over the years. Or maybe it was the fact that Jeremy was so good looking, with a body born for sin. Still, it had Dante wondering what was had changed? He wasn't the same guy he had been mere weeks and months ago.... what a dangerous man Jeremy was, to have such an effect on him in such a small space of time. That didn't stop him from reaching out for Jeremy's hand, claiming it softly in his own, and for a moment simply enjoying the gentle contact.

Clearing his throat he smiled a little, far more genuine now, as he thought turned back to more of his childhood. "When I was a kid.... well, I wasn't allowed to consider anything other than being the heir. Each and every day I was told by at least one person what I would become... as if I needed reminding of my place in world. Don't get me wrong, I love my folks, and I had a good childhood... but man.... the pressure at times...." He chuckled, "Of course, secretly I did think it would be nice to make cakes and desserts for a living. People always seem so happy when they eat them... and I wanted to make people happy." He laughed again, how naive had he been! The world didn't work that way, and the cook had always gone berserk whenever she caught Dante using the kitchen. "Pathetic, huh?" He found himself muttering.

"Enough about me." He finally said, grinning softly though a sliver of sadness still shone from his eyes. "Same questions back at you. What was it like growing up with a sibling? A twin at that....?" He knew that Jeremy's twin had died, but that didn't mean they didn't have a good time together before that... and sometimes it was good to think about the good times despite the sadness that followed. That, and Dante really was curious to learn more about Jeremy... good and bad.

"You have to sort through the jack@sses, I suppose." Dante huffed a little at that, totally in agreement. "Yeah... and I have had more than my fair share of them." He sighed, part of him hoping that his unlucky streak had finally ended. Still, he didn't want to move too fast... believing that it would only force Jeremy back. After all, this was the first time the guy had accepted a 'boyfriend' in a while and Dante knew he would have to take things slow.... though he supposed they hadn't exactly done that had they! In fact, this was the first time the pair of them had sat, ok lay, down for a proper conversation. And you know what, it was rather nice. Dante realised that he had probably told Jeremy more than he had told most, and he had definitely shared the detail of who his father was far quicker than he did with most. Kyle had only found out by accident after walking in on him having a Skype conversation with his mother just as his father joined in. Joy. He should have realised at the time that the guy had changed after that. It was hard for Dante to accept any praise or respect based on his father's actions. He wasn't his father.

"And look how that all turned out now. You're in a higher league than you probably realise. So don't settle for less."

"Yeah... maybe...." He found himself saying, though he wasn't quite sure about that. In many ways he could empathise with Jeremy.... it was hard to change you way of thinking after thinking one way for so long. Slow but steady.

Listening to Jeremy's answers he couldn't help but feel bad for the guy, assuming his assumption about Kyle was right and he had indeed been messing around behind his back... he knew exactly how hard it was to accept, and the questions that whirled around in your were near intolerable! Weren't you good enough? What did you do wrong? Could you have tried harder? Could you have changed? Why weren't you enough for them? Yep... it was hell in a bottle alright. One that had taken Dante to the pub he had first met Jeremy in..... when you looked at it that way, at least one good thing had come of the whole situation.

"I guess I thought it would have been fun to be a firefighter. And then when I went to high school I joked around about becoming a stripper but never meant it." Wow... he hadn't expected the guy to want to be a firefighter, if any thing he was sure that the guy would have wanted something a little bossier such as a policeman, or perhaps his work persona had simply developed due to necessity? Interesting, still he found himself chuckling at the stripper comment. "I can just see that.... you certainly have the body for it." He found himself admitting, and he wasn't embarrassed to say so either. "Bet you would have caused quite a stirr." He grinned over at Jeremy, knowing that he was joking.

The story about his twin, Liam, had Jeremy shifting in emotions, he was happy at times even laughing a little at the mix up with the confessions. So, they had been identical.... must have been extremely hard to lose him, especially since there was a constant reminder of him every time you looked in the mirror, he couldn't image how others had reacted when they saw him... mixed emotions he imagined. A constant reminder that one was alive and one was dead. So sad.

"I don't know. Have you ever been with someone you just knew was always going to be there for you and just...lose them?"

He shook his head a little, "Not a person no.... I guess I have never been really close to someone and then lost them. Like I said as a kid it was just me and my Mother really, and we travelled around England and then back here for a while that I never really made any true friends. That said... at the time I had thought Chester would always be there, and I had been beyond lonely after that." He smiled a little sadly, not really wanting to tell Jeremy that he was sorry for his lost again... he had done that once already and didn't think the guy would appreciate having it dragged up again and again. Dante couldn't even start to image how the guy felt, then or now. Couldn't have been easy.

"Sorry, I'm rambling," Dante shook his head, "No it's fine.... I am enjoying listening to your stories." He admitted, smiling softly over at the other. "You know..." He said with a slight chuckle, "...I am rather jealous that you had someone so close to grow up with. I always wanted my parents to have another child..." He smiled softly, remembering his twelve year old self nearly begging his mother to at least consider.... he had always just felt... lonely. Especially with the forced isolation in place.

"If you could say anything to anyone in the world right now, who would it be to, and what would you say? If you could say anything to those who left you or hurt you in some way--even Chester...what would you say?"

Wow! What a hard question. Looking up at the ceiling again, he found himself holding his hand up, opening and closing his fingers as he looked at the light bulb. It took a little time to think about everything. In truth... he had two different answers. One for those still in the world and one for those not. Not looking at Jeremy as he answered. "If I could say anything to anyone in the world.... well.... I guess I would pick my parents, ok I know it's not one person but bare with me.... and I would tell them I am gay. I guess I am just getting fed up of feeling as if I am constantly lying to them. Not exactly ideal to always fall quiet whenever they mention dating and girls." He found himself chuckling, "I suppose.... by definition I am a virgin. Never slept with a woman." He lowered his hand and ruffled his hair, laughing again. "Not that my Father would likely believe or accept that. I'm pretty sure they were told that I had rented a hotel room that first time.... bet they would never have imagined it was so I could be with another man." He sighed, well aware that at times he had been 'observed', as if those under his father feared that Dante would embarrass his Father by doing something foolish.... maybe he already had.

"I think..... well... I don't know what I would say to Chester.... and those that hurt me... well.... that's in the past now, and I am just trying to let it all go. Don't think I am doing too bad at that right now." Thanks to Jeremy. "They just aren't worth my time." He said, a strange confidence flooding his senses. "....but.... if I could talk to someone that had passed...." He spoke without pausing, not wanting to change his mind about speaking aloud. If he thought too much about it, he was pretty sure he would hesitate and stop. "I would talk to your Liam. Tell him what a good guy you are.... how you work your arse off at work and get great results, and despite being a slave driver are adored by practically everyone. That he doesn't have to worry too much about you, because there are people around you who will have your back." In that he wasn't simply talking about himself.... but Phil and the others also.

Dante didn't look at Jeremy even after he finished, simply continued to look at the ceiling.... ok, so he was a little embarrassed at what he had said... but to him, it was more important in that moment to say those things to Jeremy's brother than to talk to someone else. Why? Well, he wasn't ready to admit the truth to himself yet. Too soon. Too raw. Too new.

Clearing his throat he tried to find some middle ground that he could cling to. "Eh.... who would you want to talk to?" Yep, repeating questions was good.... so original Dante, really, couldn't you think of something more interesting?! Added almost as an after thought, he spoke again "Have you ever wondered what your life would have been like... had you been born into a different family?" Dante could remember wondering that sometimes, sitting on his bed looking up at the moon and stars. There were things he wouldn't want to let go off.... but he knew that reality wasn't as easy as his dreams.