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 Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 4:12 pm
So Long JuneNeeding someone to talk to after Candice's sudden decision to break up, Henry contacts Aaron Holmes.
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2016 6:11 pm
And just like that... she was out of their lives.
Ethiriel couldn't help but stare wide-eyed into the abyss, trying to take in what Henry had told her. The nurse was a mess, hardly able to keep his voice strong enough for a single word as he broke down before the Sigel. Candice just... left him? So easily? The Raevan wracked her brain to figure out where it had gone wrong – they had seemed so happy, so... perfect, and yet Candice was able to dismiss Henry and leave him alone on his knee.
It was quite a shock.
With Henry sobbing silently before her, Ethiriel could only listen and think. He hadn't told her much, just what he could get out, so many details were missing and she couldn't quite put them together. What had happened...? Was... was this the fate of all lovers? Was this what she wanted so badly?
Even if Cesc hadn't turned her down, was this what was going to happen in the end...?
With a shaky breath, Ethiriel reached forward and gently touched Henry's shoulder tentatively – he didn't pull away, nor did he lean into the touch. It was so foreign to Ethiriel, comforting the one person she knew to be perpetually happy... but here they were; Henry, a crumpled mess, completely distraught. Destroyed. Ruined. She couldn't blink, she almost couldn't breathe.
What was happening?
Henry had come home late this night. It was hard to believe that this happened only hours ago in this very house. She could tell coming home was hard for him, that this seemed to be the last place he wanted to be. It hurt; it hurt him, it hurt her. Ethiriel couldn't do anything to help – she felt so powerless. What could she even do? She had felt a similar heartache, but she couldn't even imagine losing someone that you were about to propose to, someone you expressed interest in spending the rest of your life with. Dark thoughts of finality, impermanence, denial... they swirled in the Sigel's mind. Ethiriel had once wanted love so badly; to be loved, to be close. Now... now, everything seemed so cloudy.
She was terrified of ending up like this. Now or ever. She couldn't even think about Cesc without this dark cloud hanging over. There was an ending... but it wasn't the ending Ethiriel, or anyone, would want.
This was it.
Slowly, Ethiriel snaked her arms around Henry's shoulders to his back, pulling him into a gentle embrace. She had never thought to control her pheromones, her aura, but... if she had a touch that could soothe pain, active or passive, maybe she could do something now. Concentrating, she held Henry close and released the earthy smell of green tea to heal his heart.
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 2:45 pm
Gabe closed the front door without much fanfare.
It was just after one o'clock – prime time for the lunch rush at the nearby cafe, which he and the only local friend he had thankfully managed to miss with the earlier rendezvous time. Coffee cup in hand, his meager prize from pumpkin spice Hell, the younger Knight set his keys on the counter and removed his jacket.
In the living room, Henry had sat in silence for the better half of an hour. No book, no TV, no music. The nurse fiddled with his thumbs idly as he considered what to say: he didn't explain very much to Ethiriel – he wasn't sure why, exactly, but he hadn't. When he heard the door close, he quickly wiped his eyes and nose with a tissue from the box sitting on the coffee table.
”Gabe...?” he called meekly, his voice wrought with emotion and weakness.
”Yeah,” Gabe confirmed as he hung his jacket on the rack. A few steps later and he rounded in the living room, cup raised, but he stopped short and halted where he stood.
The coffee table was strewn with crumpled tissues from the box and there, beside it, sat his brother in pajamas with his hair a mess, face flush, and eyes glassy. It took Gabe a moment to process; his shoulders lowered, as did the cup. He searched Henry for any silent answers but there were none to find. ”What the hell happened?”
Henry scoffed, a hint of a torn smile apparent but that fell quickly. He sniffed hard, lowering his head as he pressed his palm to his forehead. There was a pause, hesitance, before the nurse spoke. ”Candice left me.” he said plainly despite his voice cracking at the end.
”What?” His response came so fast he barely had the breath to back it up. A quick glance around the living room provided no dispute to the news. ”Just like that? Just up and left?” Gabe gestured vaguely toward the door with his cup.
”As I was trying to propose...” Henry scoffed again, bringing his other hand to rub at his face. ”She said... it just wasn't working, and left.” he said with a sniff, unable to look up.
Gabe's shoulders slumped with the crease of his brow. There was a low mutter of ”you've got to be ******** kidding me,” as he looked away. Hand to his forehead, Gabe stopped a couple of words before they even made it past their first syllable. He walked further into the living room and took up the furthest seat adjacent from Henry; for the moment, at a loss.
Despite how strong his emotions were, how badly he just wanted to crumple up and cry his heart out, Henry stood strong and held in as much as he could despite the dampness of his eyes pooling over. Taking a shaky breath, he removed one of his hands from his face to run through his hair and take hold. ”I don't know what to do,” he admitted, defeated.
A strained silence followed. Gabe sunk into his seat while he surveyed the immediate area, the tissue box, his brother's disquiet, the otherwise empty room that seemed much smaller with this news for company.
”Did she say why?” was all he could think to say.
Rubbing his face fully with both hands, Henry finally leaned away from his knees and flopped unceremoniously against the back of the couch. Giving a weak shrug, he said, ”She just... she just said that we tried and it didn't work. Said it... it wasn't my fault...” Of course, it still stung and the thought nagged in the back of his mind. His lips quivered as more tears threatened to spill, and he brought his hand to his face to rest his palm over his eyes.
Gabe scoffed after a short delay. ”Are you serious? That was it?”
Taking a moment to breathe, Henry exhaled hard and nodded. ”I don't know what I did...”
”Real nice, Candice,” Gabe huffed quietly. He ran a hand over his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. ”I don't know what to tell you.”
Henry knew that Gabe wasn't the person to talk to about relationship problems – to be honest, it seemed like the younger Knight had more experience than he did but usually he wasn't a fan of talking about it anyway. Still, every little thing stung: he wanted to think that Candice didn't do this to be malicious, but... how easy it was for her to just leave, how abrupt it was. He couldn't compute it and it hurt more than Henry could have ever imagined.
”I just...” he started, trailing off as his voice wavered. ”I thought I was a good boyfriend...”
Gabe's head leaned back against the seat, his eyes glued to the ceiling. His voice came out low, rough, though it lacked some of the energy anger typically gave him. ”If it was honestly out of nowhere, then it's her damn fault.”
Taking a moment to rub his eyes again, Henry sighed hard and leaned back much like Gabe. ”She... I...” he stammered, trying to find the words and the energy to go along with them. His throat croaked when he couldn't find either, but he trudged forward anyway. ”I know you didn't like her, Gabe... but... she meant so much to me. I don't know what I did to make her so unhappy...”
That made Gabe sit back up.
He stared at Henry while his attention was away, while he diffused the blame. ”Are you for real?” There was a pause but not long enough to let Henry answer. ”Whether I liked her or not doesn't matter, I'm stating a fact. If this seriously came out of nowhere then it's on her because she didn't talk to you in the first place.”
The nurse's eyes widened beneath his hands.
”You're...” Henry started, losing strength immediately. Without meaning to, he let out a shaky sob as he leaned forward against his knees again. ”You're right, but...” He was lost, confused and hurt, and didn't know how to process any of this. An uneven sigh leaked from his chest.
”But what?” Gabe eyed Henry over the rim of his coffee cup. ”Think for a second. If this is how she handles problems, it would have happened even if you moved forward. Then it would have been even harder.”
He eased back against the seat. Voice lowered and gaze diverted, Gabe continued. ”I'm not saying you shouldn't feel messed up about it but that's the truth. Communication wasn't good.”
With another sniffle, Henry cleared his throat while remaining hunched forward. Gabe was right. Hell, Gabe was usually right. Candice should have voiced her concerns and discontent – would they have been able to fix things? Maybe, maybe not. Having come out of the blue was cruel and unjust to the nurse. It was true though; had she waited until they were married, that was a whole slew of red tape and legalities.
It didn't make this any easier, though.
Finally Henry nodded, face remaining obscured by his hands and mussed hair. He couldn't tell whether it was a good or bad thing that he didn't work today – he wouldn't have that distraction to keep him occupied... but could he face anyone right now? He was an absolute wreck.
”Yeah...” he said after a moment.
His brother sighed and quiet returned to the room.
After a few moments of stillness, Gabe set his cup on the coffee table and retrieved his phone. ”You haven't eaten anything yet, have you?” He glanced at Henry briefly as he scrolled. ”I'll get us some takeout.”
Another moment passed after Gabe's questioning before Henry answered, leaning back in the chair once more. He didn't bother hiding his face this time but made sure to wipe away the tears on his cheeks. ”From where?” he asked, his voice a tad stronger.
”Where do you want?” Gabe didn't look up this time.
”I guess Chinese sounds pretty good,” Henry stated plainly, staring up at the ceiling as he leaned back, hands clasped against his stomach. Something other than Italian, that was certain.
”Got it.” The confirmation came in such a way that it seemed to be Gabe's plan from the start.
To be honest, even though he hadn't disclosed everything with Ethiriel just yet, it felt good to get it off his chest. The nurse's body finally relaxed, and while he couldn't get rid of the pit in his stomach, he was feeling much more level... at least, for the moment. Henry knew that things would get better with time, that these wounds would heal and he could move on, but that didn't make anything any easier. He had to deal with heartbreak at work all the time; why was this so hard...? If Candice was happier without him, then...
Henry scoffed as he sat upright, stretching his neck. At least Gabe was here – even if they didn't get along the same way they used to, he was glad to have his brother around.
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:46 pm
”Siri, time.”
”The time is 10:47pm.”
That was beyond strange. Without hearing anything from Gabe about it, Ethiriel hadn't received a single text message from Henry mentioning where he was or why he was late. The nurse was never late... Always prompt with coming home and making sure those within the Knight household had their meals and were content, Henry wasn't one to just up and disappear. Had something happened to him? While once upon a time she would have dismissed it, her kidnapping several years ago always left an uncomfortable taste in her mouth when it came to things like this, and the Sigel couldn't shake her nerves.
”Siri, text Henry.”
”Texting Henry.”
There was a pause as Ethiriel pondered over what to say, to ask; she didn't want to be suffocating to the man, especially in his position, but... she couldn't help but worry.
”Henry is everything alright,” the Sigel started, but a click at the door immediately caught her attention. Lifting herself from her bed, she stared forward with raised brows listening to the keys fumbling at the lock – it was unlike Henry to sound like this, so clumsy, but she hoped to God it was him. Placing her phone down, Ethiriel rose from her bed entirely and approached the hall, peeking her head out so that she could listen better.
As she did, the door finally opened and in stumbled Henry. It wasn't strong, but the faint smell of wine clung to his form as he awkwardly relocked the door and leaned against it. Ethiriel heard him sigh and groan as he slid to the floor, his breath blocked by his hands covering his face.
Tentatively, the Sigel came out of her room but floated just outside her door rather than approach. ”Henry...?” she asked, uncertain, but a shift in the man's position made her freeze.
”Mmgh...” he groaned, running his hands down his face so that he could look to Ethiriel. It was easy to see that she was worried despite the tipsy mess in his brain, so Henry flinched instinctively regardless. ”Yeah, yeah... it's me...” he rolled lazily, trying to push himself up off of the ground with another groan in the process. His tone was sullen and low, something that the Raevan still wasn't used to – it hadn't been long since the incident, anyway.
”Are you okay...?” she asked despite the stench of fermented grapes in the air.
”Yeah...”
Ethiriel didn't believe it for a minute. It wasn't exactly the same, but it had a similar scent to when Gabe would come home drunk and she easily recognized it. Had she feet and a stable body, she would have offered the nurse a hand to his room, and while her hovering was steady and assuredly strong, she wouldn't have been able to be a proper crutch to him. Instead, she crossed her arms and moved closer, brows knit tightly above her eyes. ”Should I contact someone?” she asked, her own voice sober and strong, confident. Well, it wasn't so much that she was confident, but she knew her ground and where she needed to stand for the moment – and that was to be a rock for Henry.
The man kept his bleary eyes on the Sigel as she approached but did nothing to reach out or make her feel better. He did this to himself, he knew, and there was little that he knew of that she could do.
”I'll make you some tea,” Ethiriel suggested, slowly turning to face towards the living room door rather than Henry. There was no protest from the nurse, just another groan and sigh, as the Sigel left.
”Are you ready?” the woman asked from beneath Henry's strong arms. She'd already been stripped down to her unders, her dark skin clear and beautiful under the dim lighting. Henry was beyond nervous, his whole body shaking as he attempted to kiss and caress the woman. It almost felt like he could get into the groove, to enjoy this, but every little nagging thought in his mind swarmed at once and kept him from getting excited enough – his nerves were keeping that at bay as well, but he tried.
”I...” he moaned under his breath as the woman planted a longing kiss on his tendon, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to remember how to breathe. When he couldn't move any longer, he picked himself up and away to cover his face, hunched over the side of the bed. ”I'm sorry--” he muttered pathetically, unable to face her.
“Are you serious?” she asked, lifting herself from the bed with her elbows with an irritated face. “You said you were down for this, didn't you? What the hell is wrong with you?”
For that, Henry had no answer.
“Get the ******** out!” the woman screamed, hardly caring about her neighbors in the apartment as she threw Henry's jeans at him. “Just a waste of my ********' time! Hurry up, get out!” she called again, this time throwing his shirt.
Without a question or word, Henry picked up his clothes and quickly began putting them on, making sure that nothing was backwards or inside-out before stumbling out into the halls. Even with the few glasses of wine he couldn't bring himself to do it, to take comfort in another woman so soon after Candice leaving him. He just wanted to be healed and done with this all, and he couldn't even grow enough of a pair to move on.
Leaving his car parked at the side of the street, the nurse walked home.
How was he going to face the friend who hooked them up at work?
Hearing the clinking of ceramic, Henry's attention was pulled from his thoughts at Ethiriel's approach. The tea carried Ethiriel's usual, sweet scent, but there was a hint of honey and some kind of berry infused with it – something Henry hadn't expected. When had she started doing this?
It smelled great so he wasn't about to complain.
”Should I find Gabe?” the Sigel asked, setting the tray down about a foot in front of Henry before reaching out and gently touching his shoulder. Admittedly, Ethiriel didn't know whether or not Gabe could be much of a crutch to the older Knight given their differing statures, but he was a better bet than herself and she knew it.
Despite regretting it, Henry shook his head rather animatedly before realizing his error and clearing his throat. With another sigh, he removed his hands from his face to reach for the tea. ”No... I'll be fine...” he muttered, taking a small sip regardless of the liquid's temperature. ”Thanks, though...”
”What happened...? Why were you so late?”
Shame hung over the nurse's head. He was glad that Ethiriel couldn't see in this moment, not having to worry too much about his expression being read. Henry really didn't want to talk about it, especially not to the Raevan, but he didn't know how to express that feeling without being rude. Instead, he didn't give all the details; ”Met a friend for drinks. That's all.”
Lifting her chin, Ethiriel's eyes narrowed. She could have guessed that much, and she knew he wasn't telling the whole truth. However, not wanting to crowd him, she allowed Henry that comfort and didn't press further. It was obvious by her own expression that she wasn't impressed, however.
Henry flinched again.
”I suppose now that you're home, I shall retire. I hope you sleep well, Henry,” Ethiriel said pointedly, a bit more venomous than Henry was used to, before hovering higher and approaching her bedroom. With Nedhudir having already been taken out not long before, the Sigel didn't have to worry about taking him outside and merely shut the door behind her. There wasn't a single word from her to Henry for the rest of the night.
The nurse, on the other hand, stared blankly at the Raevan's closed door, tea still in hand. He'd really messed up this time... and he was well aware of it. He knew Ethiriel wouldn't be fooled by short words and pitiful explanations; she never was. Placing the cup down, Henry buried his face into his arms and knees with a drawn out sigh. He'd have to make it up to her someday...
Meanwhile, Ethiriel had returned to her bed and sat in silence, idly petting Nedhudir's crown from over the edge of the bed. The Collie was silent as well, snoot nuzzling the Raevan's hand.
This was twice... was Henry turning into an alcoholic? What was she going to do? What could she do? With a groan of her own, Ethiriel covered her face – she wanted to scream. There were two people she could have thought to vent to, but given the circumstances with one... she didn't want to bother him with her personal drama anymore – and the other, well... she didn't want to ruin his cheerful disposition. She had no one to turn to, except maybe Zul, but she hadn't heard from him since their day at the beach. Everything was so confusing... maybe romance wasn't worth it. All it seemed to lead to, with what she had seen or experience, was heartbreak or needless drama.
Maybe she should stay away from it entirely.
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 1:16 pm
This was his third mess-up for the day. As Henry stared down, wide-eyed, at the shattered glass and cotton balls littering the floor, he couldn't help but give out a long, held breath in frustration. Around him, other nurses had already begun calling for janitors and were trying to help tidy the mess – yet Henry stood there with a vaguely upset expression, tears lightly stinging his eyes.
Why did this keep happening?
”Henry?” a voice called from behind the man; it was one of the younger nurses, a woman fresh out of school, who had gently reached for his arm. She had carefully sidestepped the glass to be at his side, looking up at him with clear respect and sympathy. ”I think Janet wants to see you...” Already, the head nurse had been made aware of Henry's many bumbles throughout the day and the man's heart sank. Would he lose his job, too...? That was just what he needed after all of this, he figured, as he avoided the shattered mess beneath his feet. Shoving his hands into his pockets, the nurse sighed and glumly trudged towards the nurse's station.
When he arrived, the rest of the men and women working couldn't help but give him awkward side glances before returning to what they had each been doing. This already wasn't a good sign. Opening the swivel half door, Henry stepped in and avoided eye contact with anyone he could before pushing open the adjacent door.
Janet had been waiting, her eyes glued to the door and her hands folded against the small desk tucked in a corner. She was an older woman, roughly in her sixties, though she was just as healthy and able bodied as any of the other nurses. Signaling for Henry to sit, it was clear that she wasn't angry, which came as a huge relief to the man. He did as he was told, pulling out the chair in front of the desk and sitting squarely and properly. Janet offered a sad smile – she had always been a nice little old lady, eager to help those in need: even other nurses.
With a silent breath, she started, ”Henry... I understand that you've had a... very unfortunate event happen to you recently,” Henry flinched. ”We're all beyond sympathetic, believe me, but... you can't let it affect your work like this. Before you assume the worst, no: we're not firing you. You're one of our best and you're so good with the children... we can't really afford to lose you.
“However,” the head nurse's voice became stern and solid, ”You've already slipped several times in the last few days, and we're very worried about you. I believe you need some time off from work.”
Henry's jaw dropped. Time off...? What would he do with that? Have even more time to sulk and over focus on these things? He wanted to say no, that he would continue working, but before he could even speak he was interrupted by a hand flying up between them – Janet suggesting Henry stop before he could even start.
”I know you're against it, but things are piling up and I think you need time with your family and Ethiriel. You know you'll probably have to work throughout the holidays, so maybe this is a good time to reach out to those you hold dear and seek their support?” Janet offered kindly, a thin, small smile on her old lips. It was clear that she was only trying to help, and Henry could definitely feel it. He was also fully aware of the damage and losses he was causing the hospital with his screw ups lately...
With a sigh, the male nurse brought a hand to his face, rubbing the bridge of his nose and eyes. He really didn't want to, but... ”I... yeah, sure... Thank you, Janet...” said Henry softly, deflating in his chair as he was unable to look at the woman.
This was met with another sympathetic stare.
”Please take care of yourself, Henry. I'm giving you two weeks – paperwork will be filed for you – but, please, if you need more time... just let us know.” All of the nurses knew how tender hearted the man was... and Candice had been his first “successful” relationship. Everyone was rooting for him, and then this. Janet stood and moved from behind her desk, placing a hand on Henry's shoulder.
He didn't move, other than a short nod.
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 3:20 pm
The loud cracking of wood or metal hitting cowhide and the clink of balls hitting the chain-link fencing was all you could hear here. There were little bits of conversation behind the cubbies, but most of them were soft and drowned out by the sounds of active swingers in their cages.
Ethiriel was one behind the fences, sitting by herself as Henry let out his frustrations. Earlier today he had been dismissed from work and had many pent up emotions. While the Sigel was aware of this, she couldn't help but feel bitter that she had been dragged out to such a loud place with no one to converse with while the nurse did his own thing in relative silence. She, herself, was frustrated, and with Henry's lack of communication, a sort of barrier had begun to form between them like their first meeting. This wasn't what Ethiriel wanted at all, but she couldn't help but feel neglected when he wouldn't talk to her about any of his problems. Sure, it had taken her a while to warm up and become open to him in the beginning, but he had always been so open from the start. Now? Well, she couldn't get two words out of him anymore.
She couldn't help but feel a little betrayed.
With nothing but darkness before her, as people rarely wore actual silver jewelry out to the batting cages or sports events in general, Ethiriel sat straight and proper without so much as a word. Who was there to talk to? Nedhudir wasn't brought along and Gabe had his own agenda lately... not to mention, she knew none of these people and didn't quite care to start conversation with anyone here with her mood so sour. It had been about a year since she felt this negative, and quite frankly, Ethiriel hated it.
She hated this lack of communication.
She hated that Henry wouldn't even try.
She hated that his mental breakdown was so severe and there was little she could do to help.
But she knew she had to do something.
Approaching the fencing for the cages, Ethiriel lightly tangled her fingers into the chain-link and stared forward, giving Henry another moment of releasing his emotions. The Raevan, as the pitching machines spat out their balls and the batters hit them, could feel the vibrations from all over the center. Her eyes drifted from nothing to the silver rings on her fingers, watching in awe at their subtle movement from the bustle around them. The Sigel stared for a moment, lost in that moment, before jumping back into her head and clearing her throat at the sound of Henry's bat cracking against a ball.
”Henry,” she stated clearly.
There was no answer for a moment, just the sound of the nurse slamming another ball. Ethiriel called his name again, this time louder and more biting. This time, he responded: ”...yeah?”
Ethiriel's brow twitched at his response as it had far less respect than his tone usually carried. ”I wish to go. It is far too loud here, it is hurting my head. Please, may we leave?”
There was another lingering pause, then the sound of another ball hitting his bat. Her anger was not so subtle in her expression, bitter at the way Henry had been treating her lately, but she took in a deep breath, closed her eyes and tried to soften her appearance. No, just because he was in a rut, Ethiriel didn't have to get dragged down in this spiral. She needed to be the rock for both of them, as Henry had been before, and she spoke again.
”Please, Henry.”
Another ball.
If the cages weren't so far from home, Ethiriel would have considered leaving alone, but her trusty collie wasn't here and she had no feet to feel the pavement or streets with. Trying not to get her frustration get the best of her, instead she focused on the feeling of vibrations once more, to clear her mind and help her focus. Was this meditation, she wondered, as she hovered just before the fences. She'd never tried it before, but she had heard it in reference to many things. It did work to clear her mind, and she was able to then clear her emotions and let go of her anger.
This time, there was no crack of a bat. With all of the noise around them, Ethiriel hadn't heard Henry leave the cubbie to turn off the machine – until one final ball hit the fence and shocked her from her thoughts. She reared back, hands still clinging to the fence, as she stared ahead wide-eyed.
As Henry collected his bat, he softly touched Ethiriel's fingers with his own.
”Okay.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 3:22 pm
Good Day SunshineAs a surprise announcement for Shoshana's birth, Phoenix invites Henry and Ethiriel over for a celebratory lunch.
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:45 pm
It had been several months since Ethiriel and Rhedefre had what the stag privately referred to as their "unpleasant chat", and certainly weeks since he'd tried to pick up the friendship once more. There had been a thick, stifling wall of awkwardness to begin: he found himself recording, listening to, deleting and then re-recording voice messages to Eth. THAT period, thankfully, had come and gone, although things were not as they previously had been, to Cesc's frustration. He'd known that might have been impossible, but to let go of a friendship such as Eth's, well... that, he couldn't abide.
So, it was with some surprise but equal eagerness that Cesc picked up the phone when he noted Ethiriel's call. The news of Henry's heartbreak was taken with raised eyebrows ("huh, is that so?") and his eyebrows only raised further when he heard just how low the man's spirits had been. Romance! Cesc thought bitterly. Did it ever do anything good?
On the date agreed upon, he baked a pistachio cake, placed it in a striped Vermillion box, gathered the ingredients for the buttercream in a bag, and showed up at the Knight family doorstep. He wore a hoodie against the chill with a tee underneath, and rang the doorbell. He tried not to recall the last time he was there, the hideous darkness he'd found within.
With any luck, he thought, Henry was at least better than that.
There hadn't been a long wait between Cesc's ringing and Ethiriel opening the door, hair pooled in waves over her shoulders. While her brows were knit (whether with worry or awkwardness, it was hard to tell since it was a generally foreign expression on her face), a delicate smile rested on her lips as she held the door wide. "Thank you for coming, Rhede," she said softly, guarded, before hovering to the side to allow him in. "That smells absolutely wonderful!"
Much to Cesc's relief, the lights were on in the kitchen and living room (mostly thanks to Gabe as Ethiriel didn't exactly need them); the lights in the halls and the Sigel's room were off, but it wasn't an overbearing darkness like he had experienced last time. Nedhudir stood dutifully outside of the Raevan's bedroom.
"It's good to see you again. I'm sorry it has been so long..."
"Don't even think about it. It's great to see you again," said Cesc with a slim, somewhat shaky smile. He, too, was feeling the weight of the time that had elapsed between them.
She was looking well, he thought--Sigelhood really suited her, and he could say that now, with many weeks in the interim and without the anxiety that had plagued him when seeing her before. She seemed altogether well and lovely, her movements blessed with their usual grace and her hair spilled around her shoulders and framing her face.
Tthe house, too, seemed to be in order, and was inviting--either Henry was doing better than advertised, or Eth and Gabe were pulling their weight with the nurse on the outs. Cesc smiled at Nedhudir as he entered the house, and cooed to him with a soft: "Hey, buddy!"
"So," said Cesc, turning toward her. "I brought some ingredients to frost the cake--thought he might like some fresh buttercream, after all, and less of a chance that I messed up the frosting part if I just do it here, yeah?"
Smiling a little easier, both at Cesc's reassurances and his attention to Nedhudir, Ethiriel instinctively led her companion towards the kitchen, even without his mentioning the frosting.
"That sounds like a lovely idea. You could teach me how to make it." The Sigel, admittedly, loved the idea of learning to cook -- especially with her disability; it was like a challenge. "He's currently in his room, but I'm not sure what he's doing. Maybe sleeping? All the better... this is meant to be a surprise."
Once they were in the kitchen, Ethiriel masterfully located the island in the middle and placed her hands on the cold surface, her fingers spreading.
With Cesc here, even though it was the opposite of what she wanted at this point, made breathing feel easier, the world stop spinning. Perhaps that was his natural aura... was that what always drew Ethiriel to him all this time...? No... she loved his personality, his kindness. But... she just wanted to let this all go. To be friends. Nothing more.
At least that was what she told herself.
"I hope you've been well. I feel awful that we haven't talked much when you're one of my closest friends."
Not that it wasn't any fault of hers. She was the most guilty party for not reaching out, out of fear.
"A surprise! That's really nice of you, Eth," said Cesc with a shake of his head, setting the ingredients down on the kitchen counter. He took them out: a carton of whipping cream, confectioners' sugar, butter, vanilla extract. He folded up the bag he'd brought them in and put it away, then went to wash his hands--professional habits.
As he did so, she spoke, and he heard that sense of hesitation in her cadence that once was not there. He looked down at the running water, turned off the spigot, and turned to her.
"Hey, it's alright. I think..." He paused. "I think maybe it was good for a little bit. Clear the air?"
The Sigel hoped the surprise cake would help lift the nurse's mood considering it was his favorite combination. With his attitude as of late, however, she wasn't completely confident about the idea but it was definitely worth a shot. When she heard the sound of running water, she began to approach the sink to do much the same, but Cesc responded before she could, resulting in her floating in place, staring in his general direction.
Ethiriel's smile twitched for just a moment, but it returned easily and her eyes softened as well. "I agree," she said with a nod. Having not talked to him for so long felt strange and unnatural with how well they got along and how close they were. As hurt as she was, the Raevan was admittedly more afraid of losing Cesc entirely over her stupid little stunt, and she was beyond relieved when he agreed to come over.
Finally, she approached the sink.
"I do hope this helps Henry. He's hardly left his room over the last few weeks -- they requested that he have time off from work to collect himself and he's barely gotten any better..."
As awkward as it felt talking about breakups with Ethiriel, that was her current reality, and Cesc knew there was no way around the strangeness. He leaned against the counter as she washed her own hands, although there was a moment of concern that he was standing too close to her--a moment he waved away with a shake of his head.
"Yikes, that bad, huh?" he said, frowning. "I know people can really be a mess when their loved one leaves them, but, man, to get vacation from work? How long were they together?"
"A few years," Ethiriel sighed, hardly paying attention to their proximity for the moment. She was trying to get over it, not make it more apparent. "He said she broke the news as he was trying to propose to her."
Her eyes narrowed slightly.
Cesc inhaled sharply at that piece of knowledge, his eyes widening. He shook his head, stunned. "Eth, I'm a good baker, but I'm not that good of a baker."
The silver Raevan couldn't help but chuckle lightly at Cesc's comment. Reaching over to turn off the tap, she gently shook the water off of her hands before reaching for a nearby towel. "This happened in the middle of last month. I understand heartbreak," she said mindlessly, not thinking about the connotation spoken directly to the stag, "But... I can't even imagine if he's still this torn up over it. I just... couldn't think of anything else. I've tried everything."
Cesc tried not to take the first part of her comment to heart, although he winced as she said it, wrinkling his nose against the swell of guilt that pushed his stomach lower. He swallowed and forced himself to attend to the rest of what she was saying, and soon enough he spoke.
"Sometimes I think it just takes time," he said quietly. He pressed his hand against his chest, rubbing his collar bone, trying to rid himself of some of that feeling of selfishness. "With Henry, it'd be great if something could just snap him out of it, but... I don't think that's how it works. He's got to go through the crying and the upset before he can get to the other side of it."
The stag smiled, and it showed in his voice: "Not that a cake is a bad thing for healing."
Had Ethiriel thought twice, her mind currently elsewhere, she wouldn't have mentioned her own heartbreak at all -- she didn't mean to put that on Cesc and, most likely, the realization would dawn on her later.
She nodded along as she listened closely. She could agree; she was still getting over the tenderness of what happened seven months ago, and while there was some definite progress sometimes it still got to her. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't fault Henry with such a short amount of time that had passed -- he had even been with this woman and considered spending the rest of his life with her, while Ethiriel merely had a crush and only dealt with rejection.
She felt silly.
With a smile, she looked toward Cesc. "Especially one of yours," Ethiriel said playfully. While sweets and pastries weren't really her thing, she had definitely tried some of the stag's talents before now that she had a stomach. She couldn't deny that he was good at it. "Maybe someday I can learn my way around the kitchen."
"Why someday?" asked Cesc, looking around the kitchen. "You're going to have to help me right now. I need an apron, a mixing bowl, and use of your mixer. I'm assuming you know where that all is, yeah? It's your kitchen."
He smiled, leaning against the island. He could, he knew, go around opening drawers and making educated guesses, but anything that made Ethiriel a more active participant, he enjoyed. Too often, Cesc thought, Ethiriel was left to her own devices, with good-natured people (like Henry) wanting to make her life easier by doing things for, instead of with, her. He didn't want to add his own name to that tally.
Eyes widening, Ethiriel's face easily gave away how surprised she was. Much to Cesc's guessing, she wasn't an active participant when it came to household chores and, admittedly, didn't know where anything was. She gave a sheepish laugh, clearly embarrassed as she lifted a hand to her face, her silver nails shining in the light.
"Um, well..." she hummed with a slight scoff, looking around uselessly. There were silver trinkets here and there, but only to alert Ethiriel to where the doors were -- she'd already gotten used to the island and sink, but never had she needed to look in the cupboards for anything. With another laugh, not knowing how most kitchens were laid out in general, the Sigel began sliding her hands over the counters and cabinets. "I... don't know what a mixer feels like--" she admitted awkwardly.
It was easy to tell she was amused, however.
"It's rude for a guest to poke through drawers, you know," said Cesc teasingly, his smile in his voice, not budging from his spot at the island. He could easily see that there was a stand mixer at attention right on the counter, but that wasn't the point--he didn't know where the whisk attachment to it was, and he was fairly certain Eth could find a mixing bowl and an apron by herself. "And I can't be rude, you know, Granny's taught me that all my life."
As she gave her shy confession, Cesc laughed: "I promise I can help you with the mixer part in a second, but let's start with the aprons and the mixing bowl, yeah?"
Scoffing playfully, Ethiriel passed a pointless glance in Cesc's direction with a smirk. "We all know that you do not have a rude bone in your body, dear Rhede. Of course I do not expect you to give me a hand." Her own voice was teasing, clearly not put off.
The Sigel nodded at Cesc's suggestion, though it was difficult to find anything when you didn't know the layout or where anything could be at all. The apron wasn't too terribly hard to find after a moment, hanging from one of the pantry door hooks, and Ethiriel was able to guess enough despite having never worn one. Playfully, still at the pantry, she held it out in the stag's direction and didn't move an inch, a surprisingly smug look on her face.
"Alright, there's one down," laughed Cesc, taking the apron from Ethiriel. As she stood in her smugness, he walked around her and slipped the apron over her head, tying the ties behind her waist. "This is your apron. Now I see where they are, I'll get my own. But this one's yours, cause you're helping me make this frosting."
He stood back, nodding, and said aloud: "Suits you! You should wear one more often. Now--mixing bowl?"
"Do I look like a kitchen maiden?" Ethiriel asked, spinning in place once Cesc had finished tying. She was surprised that he was so insistent on her helping, but the Sigel kind of liked it and was glad that he still actively wanted her to be a part of something.
With a chuckle, she placed her knuckles against her hips. "At least help me out: are they usually in upper cupboards or lower?"
"I have no idea what a kitchen maiden looks like," said Cesc brightly. "But you cut a good figure in an apron, I'll give you that."
He looked around the kitchen's layout, frowning slightly at her next question. "Ah..." he started, hesitation. "Honestly, it's a crapshoot. Everyone puts things where they like in their own kitchen. Let's try lower first, though."
Again, Ethiriel gave a dainty, airy laugh. "Have you never read time period or fantasy novels? They paint a pretty vivid picture -- but thank you..." she said, expression softening. She hadn't exactly expected that kind of compliment from him after the last time they had "spent time" together.
"Hmm... How large do we need?" she asked, hovering forward until her outstretched hands met the counter once more. Ethiriel began digging through cabinets as instructed; luckily for her she knew what a bowl felt like, but unfortunately deep pans felt similar and pots were the same.
Pulling out a large sauce pan by mistake, the Sigel held it out for Cesc to examine. "Like this?" she asked -- it was a silly question for most, but she had never used a mixing bowl and didn't know the difference.
Turning to see what she had in her hand, Cesc immediately burst out in a peal of earnest laughter, his sense of decorum unable to keep up with his surprise. He shook his head and tried to speak, but kept laughing, the absurdity of the situation spurring him on. "N-no," he gasped. "Eth, alright, hold up. We're going to learn a little today."
He went forward, taking the saucepan from her hands. He then guided her to feel the characteristics of the object. "This is a saucepan. A sauce pan is deep, metal, and has one long handle and a lid. The one next to it--" He fished out another pot. "This is a stock pot. Deep, usually two handles on either side like this, also with a lid. A mixing bowl..." As he spotted one, he took it out and put it in her hands. "Doesn't have handles, usually, and not up top, because it's never going to be that hot that you'll need it. Slimmer metal, because you're not cooking with it. This one has the grooves on the base because it'll be locked into the mixer. And this one does have a handle out of the side, cause it's--yep, again, it's for the mixer."
Replacing the pots into the cabinet, he floated up. "Alright. C'mere. Now you're going to feel a mixer."
At Cesc's burst of laughter, a furious blush washed over Ethiriel's face. She tried her best to laugh along with him, fully understanding the apparently comedy of the situation, but the Sigel couldn't help but feel the hot wave of embarrassment.
With a small pout, the silvery Raevan's hands eagerly followed the stag's guidance as he showed her each item. She nodded along, eyes lidded heavily as she focused on her hands and Cesc's voice more than anything, actually wanting to learn the difference. She could feel each little description given, able to confirm it with her own hands. Admittedly glad when they were done with that, she faltered in following as he hovered higher, but soon followed suit.
"An educational day, this is," she said, trying her best to bring back her teasing tone. Holding her hands out, Ethiriel allowed Cesc to guide her toward the mixer, having already guessed that he had found it prior to all of this.
Seeing her blush, Cesc tried his best not to allow even another snicker, although the patent ridiculousness of the situation gave him waves of further amusement. That Henry hadn't even taught her what kitchen equipment was-!! It was funny, but on second blush, it was kind of neglectful, Cesc thought. Perhaps it was his own upbringing, having worked from the day he was born, but he couldn't understand why someone like Henry--who seemed warm in his own right--wouldn't want to share the love that was cooking and baking with his charge.
"I'm sorry, Eth. Shouldn't have laughed. I'm not laughing at you, anyway. I just want you to learn this stuff a little. Baking is fun, and it's a science, not an art--you can learn how to do it, too, if you want to." Cesc smiled at her, guiding her to the mixer. "Now, this is a mixer. Feel the top? You've got some nobs on either side--the right side is the lock, the left side is the motor. We're gonna clip this bowl in..." He followed action to word, guiding Ethiriel's hands through the motions. "And we're going to tip the top up like this, and put in the whisk like this. And now we're going to make frosting that's so delicious, it's going to brighten Henry's day."
To be fair, Henry had never known that Ethiriel had an interest in cooking or anything around the kitchen -- all she ever seemed keen on doing was making tea or hot water. However, he should have asked, regardless.
"Sure you are," she finally laughed. The blush hadn't gone away but her expression had turned playful again. "Like I said, you don't have a single rude bone in your body."
Again she was guided and she eagerly followed, examining every inch of the machine that she wasn't guided to. It felt similar to her Walkman in some ways, but she was aware that it was an entirely different mechanism altogether. She knew vaguely of what it did, and she wondered how she would know if whatever being processed was finished without sight if others weren't so fond of the idea of others touching their food. For now, she shrugged it off.
Smile softening at the sentiment, Ethiriel gave a gentle hum. "I hope it does."
"I'm sure it will," said Cesc with some confidence. If the actual frosting didn't, the fact that Eth had made it surely had to hold some weight for the nurse, even in his current state. Heartbreak might be a blinding, all-consuming thing--and Cesc knew at least some of that from being dumped, himself--but it could be softened with kindness and the knowledge of being loved by someone else.
And food was love in some measure, the stag thought.
"First thing is the butter. Feel how soft it is in the package? Really nice and creamy, right?" Cesc allowed Eth to touch the butter through its packaging, so that she wouldn't stick her finger through the actual ingredient. He placed it into the bowl and guided her hand to the mixer, instructing her how to lock it and turn it on.
"Now we're gonna wait," he said, over the noise of the motor. "The butter will get even softer, lighter and fluffier in just a bit."
Once they moved on to the actual work, Ethiriel lifted her chin and closed her eyes, feeling every little thing that Cesc did to take over command, making sure to retain as much information as she could. If she could learn to do this, she could do more for Henry.
Even if he wasn't depressed, that's all she could ask for.
With a nod, the silver Sigel rested her palms likely against the counter top and listened to the whir of the mixer, eyes still closed. It was odd... if it weren't for her ability to see silver, would she have been able to notice when her eyes were closed? That small amount of time that she could see, she wasn't familiar enough with the difference to really notice now. However, with her much more limited sight now, unable to see anything but silver at all, it almost felt lonely. She wouldn't see Cesc's eyes or Cruz's, there were several friends she didn't get to actually see while she could, and again that felt very lonely.
"Hmm..." Ethiriel hummed, finally opening her eyes to rest vaguely on a silver chain hanging from the door to her sunroom, head turned away from Cesc. She wasn't aware of if he could see her expression or not, but it had faded from its earlier amusement for just a moment.
Beside her, Cesc was busily measuring out the confectioners sugar for the next step of the process. It was second nature to him at this point, making buttercream--everything was ready to go, as soon as the butter was.
He noted her hum and looked up, then did a double-take at her expression, his ears lifting slightly. "Getting bored over there?" he prompted.
For a moment, Ethiriel had tuned out Cesc's working as she pondered. It had been a while since she had a thought train like this, and when the stag posed his question she snapped back into reality.
"O-oh, no. Sorry," she fumbled with her words as well as clearing her throat at the end. Fixing her smile as best as she could, Ethiriel turned to face him better. "I was just lost in thought for a moment, that's all." she said, attempting to fix her voice as well. Her eyes drifted to the bit of silver she could see -- the ring she had made for him -- and it made her smile a little easier. It also gave her a point of reference to watch from. How had she not noticed it earlier?
At least it seemed that he still cared that much, if his coming over didn't make it obvious.
Continuing to watch his hands rather than stare off, Ethiriel did her best to keep her thoughts as positive in the moment as she could. The Sigel hadn't intended for that slipup, but feeling Cesc's warmth -- his natural light -- must have planted the seed without her realizing. "I imagine it is hard to measure anything not level with the top if you do not have sight."
Cesc turned toward her as she spoke, his hands hovering over his ingredients. He hadn't expected this moment of lowness from her today, although he might have--he'd been pushing her more than she was used to since he got in, and while she seemed to bear it well in the beginning, it was quickly pushing her to her limits.
His lowered his hands onto the countertop.
"You're right. It's not easy," he said. "Eth, I can't pretend to know what you feel like or what you go through. You can do this stuff if you want to. You could get silver measuring spoons and cups if you're worried about seeing how much you're measuring. You can put braille labels on your ingredients. And hell, most of baking is touch, feel, smell, taste, anyway. You may be missing the ability to look into the oven and see how your cake's doing, but you can touch it and see if it springs back. You can smell if it's baking nicely."
He turned off the mixer. "Give me your hand. You remember how the butter felt before?" Gently, he guided a finger into the fluffy mixture inside the bowl. "See how different that feels, how creamy? Sure, you'd have to wash your hands a lot--but that's a small price to pay. You can do this, Eth, even if you can't see everything."
Her smile faded immediately as the topic changed so suddenly, and with that being her fault Ethiriel couldn't help but feel a little guilty. "Rhede, no, that's not--" she started, but just as soon as she had spoken the stag had moved on to show her more things. The idea of braille containers and silver measuring units had already crossed her mind in passing, but now she felt like perhaps he found this as begging for attention or reassurance.
"I know I can do this, Rhede. I found my way through a forest in the chill, for heaven's sake," she said, finally finding her voice again. Ethiriel couldn't quite fix her expression but she felt stronger than before -- at least for a moment. "I just..." she paused again, deflating. She could still feel his warmth, even with their distance.
"I miss seeing light."
"Eth..." Cesc let out a soft exhale, looking at her, her despondent face, her light eyes. He could remember not so many months ago when she'd been giddy with joy at having sight, at the brilliancy of her smile. Was it so tied to that experience, her happiness?
"I wish I knew what to say," he said helplessly, his hands finding hers. "I really do. I wish I knew... anything of what you could do. But this is you. This is how you are and how you're built. Don't miss it. Don't spend your time missing it. You're missing all the other great things that make you, Eth."
Cesc turned the mixer back on. He scraped down the sides of the bowl with a spoon he'd found earlier, added sugar slowly, and let the noise drown out some of the silence.
No... no. She didn't want this pity. This was the last thing she wanted. She'd already dug Cesc into this hole once before and almost severely damaged their friendship. The feeling of his hands against Ethiriel's almost made her cringe, her heart turning painfully in her chest as she tried to suppress the longing that should have gone away months prior.
This wasn't right.
It was a slow movement, full of hesitance, but Ethiriel slipped her fingers out of Cesc's grip and ran a hand over her face and through her hair. She attempted to smile through the discomfort despite her heart thrumming uncomfortably. This was part of her, she knew this. That was what triggered her growth: acceptance and overcoming it. She wasn't damaged or flawed, she was perfect how she was and she knew she could work around everything. She just... missed that one thing.
"Sorry..." she said softly as the mixer was turned on, still regretting speaking those thoughts. Listening to the spoon against metal, the bowl's contents thickening, Ethiriel found some ease in it. "I'm okay. I really am. I promise."
"Yeah."
Cesc wanted to tell her he wasn't convinced, that he could see her discomfort and feel it radiating from her, that he could sense that he'd said everything that was wrong and allayed none of her fears. But that was further down the path of awkwardness, of feeling out what was needed and what was superfluous, and he didn't know where to go there. They had enough strangeness between them. And, like Zuri before her, he'd lost sight of where the line was in their friendship.
He focused on the buttercream, adding sugar and heavy cream and vanilla, until the whole kitchen smelled like sweetness and warmth. He let the silence stretch between his movements, allowing them both a few minutes, a respite, to feel less tense.
At last, the buttercream was done, and Cesc flipped off the mixer. He took in a deep breath and let it go. "Eth. I want you to be okay. But I want you to know it's also okay if you're not, alright? You don't have to be okay because you think you're supposed to by now. Alright? Just... let yourself feel what you need to. I may not know what to say, but I am always here for you."
Ethiriel focused on the sounds of Cesc working and the ring on his finger while he allowed relative silence fill the air between them. To be honest, this did nothing for her nerves and she tried to allow the stag's aura to bring her back up, but had she known of his ability to sense the feelings of others it would have made matters worse for the very moment.
Again, she didn't want to put that on him.
Eyes instinctively closing in response to Cesc's sudden words after the impromptu silence, Ethiriel let out a breath. "Rhede..." she tried to say, but her voice hardly came out. Without knowing the distance, she reached out to gently touch his arm or shoulder, but since there wasn't too great a gap she managed to land on his outer elbow. "It was a momentary thought. In most regards, I am fine. I'm just... confused and trying to figure out so many things at once. Henry is my top priority right now."
Regardless of her own emotions being important, Ethiriel really did feel fine for the time being.
"Alright," said Cesc at length, choosing to believe her words at their face value. He opened his mouth, thought about saying more, but in the end decided on something simple. "But if you ever need anything..."
He didn't finish the sentence. She knew what he meant.
"Alright!" he said a second time, this time with some forced cheerfulness, trying to get the mood back to where it had previously been. As he continued, his voice became easier, warmer. "The buttercream is done and ready for frosting and, believe it or not, I'm gonna have you help me frost the cake."
Glad to have the subject change, Ethiriel forced herself to perk up as Cesc actively brought up his own mood. Unable to help but grin, she raised a brow. "I'm sure it will be the most beautiful of cakes, in that case."
"Well, I brought something over for you--we're going to have to give it back to Granny afterward, alright?--but something to help you out, just a little." Floating over to the second bag he brought, where the pistachio cake reposed in its box, Cesc took out two treasures: a silver cake tray and a silver icing knife, both from Gertrude's private collection of silver. "Ta-da! Now, I know it won't help you see the frosting, but that won't matter in a second."
He slid the cake--already prepped to be frosted--out of its box and onto the silver cake tray. Taking his own icing spatula, he put a generous amount of frosting atop the cake. "Okay, come here. Take this knife." The stag gave Ethiriel the silver icing knife, and put one hand atop hers, guiding her to the proper placement. "Now, I'm going to move the cake in a circle and your job is to just keep that knife completely still. Sound good?"
When the utensils were brought out, Ethiriel couldn't help but stare in awe. They were in perfect shape, not a spec of tarnish or dust on them and held a beautiful shine -- it reminded the Sigel of when she would finish feeding.
Taking it daintily, she followed Cesc's instructions carefully. Their shoulders touched, and while in itself the gesture wasn't inherently anything other than platonic, Ethiriel's heart skipped a beat for just a second. Swallowing that rush, she nodded and held the knife exactly where the stag had guided her.
Just as he had said, Cesc began spinning the cake, resulting in Ethiriel's steady hand spreading out the thick layer of frosting against the top of the cake.
Years of practice allowed Cesc to skillfully turn the cake on the stand without much thought, watching Ethiriel's hand and the level of the knife to make sure the frosting went on smoothly. "Great," he murmured, half to himself and half to her, as the top came together. He then dabbed more frosting onto the sides.
"Looks amazing," he told her, floating back to her side. He took her hand, smoothing out the top of the frosting and ridding the knife of excess frosting before repositioning it in her delicate hand. "Now you're going to hold the knife vertically, like this, and do the same thing--just hold."
They repeated the process once more, and when it was done, Cesc cleaned the edges of the cake with a grin. "And lo and behold, Eth--you frosted a cake and it's as beautiful as you could ever want."
Holding diligently still while Cesc turned, both horizontally and vertically, Ethiriel kept her eyes on the silver at all times. Feeling the cream shift beneath the metal was an interesting sensation -- one she could get used to. Part of her wondered if she could ever do this alone, but honestly it seemed like it was more fun to have someone help.
Had she been able to see where he floated, Ethiriel would have dabbed some spare frosting from the knife onto Cesc's nose. "I'm surprised you haven't hired me already," she joked, sticking her tongue out in his direction. "...thank you for including me."
With a grin, Cesc peeled back and looked at the cake, then Ethiriel, with a satisfied nod. It was going to be perfect for Henry, and if the cake itself didn't pull him out of his funk, the knowledge that Eth had a part in making it should at least be some kind of salve.
"You should always be included in this stuff," said the stag, warmly. "You did a great job. I hope you tell him that you did this, alright?"
Ethiriel hummed a warm laugh at Cesc's sentiment, eyes softening as she stared forward. "Of course I will," she said, carefully reaching to gently pat the stag's arm as a friendly gesture. "I am sure Henry will enjoy it immensely.”
🙝
With Cesc gone, Ethiriel began to pep herself for this talk. At least, the talk around giving him this cake. She knew she needed to level with Henry, but that was for another time. Right now, the Raevan just wanted to at least make today a little better, even with the hours dwindling away. It was about time for Nedhudir's dinner and a trip outside before relaxing in bed until sleep happened.
Approaching the door, cake in hand, Ethiriel lightly leaned her ear and a hand against the door and listened in. There was little noise other than the sound of a lightly tapping foot and the plunk of otherwise silent guitar strings – now that the Sigel thought about it, she could feel the vibrations of Henry's amp despite the headphones being plugged in to keep the house quiet. He must have been listening to it rather loudly, causing Ethiriel to frown, but with her head held high she knocked steadily on the door.
”Henry? Henry, I have something for you. May I come in?” She asked, her voice solid enough to be heard through the door but not disturb Gabe down the hall. When there was no response after a moment, Ethiriel scoffed and opened the door, anyway.
Back bent over and head downward, Henry jammed away with his guitar.
While she could vaguely get a gauge of where Henry was, Ethiriel gently set down the freshly frosted cake onto the desk and out of danger from being knocked out of her hand. ”Henry,” she said again, clearly, as she stretched her hand out and began feeling for him in the air. Noticing that, just barely, she could feel the vibrations coming from his amp, the Sigel smiled before her hand landed squarely on the nurse's shoulder.
With a jump, Henry removed his headphones and looked to Ethiriel with tired eyes. It wasn't until then that he noticed the scent of the cake and glanced once, twice to his desk and back to his ward. While she couldn't see it, confusion was clear on the man's face.
”Ethiriel, what is...?”
”It's for you. Rhede helped me with it – I frosted it for you.”
”...wh- I...”
”To feel better.”
With the dumbest of stares, Henry's eyes trained on Ethiriel for some answer. Her expression was gentle, almost neutral, showing every ounce of sincerity she had. They-- she did this for him? With a quick pass to the cake, he noticed that its frosting was buttercream... He could only guess that the cake, itself, was pistachio and his heart thumped. Tears stung his eyes immediately.
Setting his guitar aside, Henry stood from on top of the amp and threw his arms around Ethiriel.
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 2:39 pm
It was like the cake had never happened.
Had that hug even meant anything?
Ethiriel reclined in her bed, a hand hanging off with Nedhudir sitting underneath. Eyes closed and mouth in a tight line, the Sigel exhaled sharply through her nose in frustration. Henry was once again secluded in his room, his headphones on and ignoring the world around him. Was this really the rest of their life? Would he be acting like a child forever? When she came into this home, she was expecting (or rather, hoping) for a permanent home this time, but at this point it seemed like Henry was becoming less and less appropriate as a guardian with how his world shattered over this one little thing.
Sure, the Raevan had been upset over her and Cesc's... unpleasant discussion several months back, but within weeks she had returned to life. Sure, there were still leftover feelings, but that was natural. This was getting ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. Henry needed to pick himself back up, and Ethiriel had learned, herself, that this wasn't the answer to any of these woes by personal experience.
The silver Sigel's ears perked at the sound of Gabe walking past her open door towards the restroom – or, at least, that was where she assumed he was going until there came a rough pounding against Henry's door. When no response came, Gabe knocked with more force.
”Open the goddamn door, Henry!”
”I've already tried that,” said Ethiriel as she slowly hovered out from her room to lean a shoulder against the wall. Even still, there was no response or acknowledgment from Henry. ”He's hopeless.”
Nedhudhir followed shortly behind the Sigel, sitting himself down just at her ribbon.
”He's a toddler.” Gabe cringed at the door before he faced Ethiriel. ”So, short of getting a battering ram--” as he said this Gabe turned his head back toward the bedroom door and raised his voice, then returned to his original volume as he continued, ”--we're out of luck. Great.”
”Things seemed promising yesterday. He reacted to a gift. And now, well...” Ethiriel trailed off, her voice tinged with obvious disdain. Bringing her hand to her face, she rubbed her brows and sighed. ”I don't want to give up on him, but he's giving us no choice. His childishness is getting on my last nerve, and I've tried to be understanding.”
There was a slight pause from Gabe before he repeated the word ”reacted” humorlessly. He scoffed, then, and began to walk past Ethiriel and Nedhudhir down the hall; a silent message for them to follow. ”Enlighten me.”
Ethiriel turned her head as Gabe trotted past, and in one quick movement she followed suit, snapping her finger for Nedhudir to come along. Since they had passed her own, the Sigel knew that they were being led to the younger Knight's room.
Once they had entered, Ethiriel made her way over to Gabe's bed and sat down on the edge closest to his computer chair. Nedhudir faithfully sat where her feet would be, looking up at her. While she sat upright and straight, she let out a scoff of her own. ”I had asked Rhede to bake a cake, and he helped me frost it. Henry gave me a hug and cried, which I took as a sign that things were going to change, but... obviously not. All in vain.” she said a tad bitterly, her brows furrowed.
The chair squeaked quietly as Gabe took his seat and, as Ethiriel explained, his breath paused mid-inhale. ”Wait.” He scoffed again. ”So what you're telling me is, the cake was supposed to magically make his issue disappear.”
With an aggravated sigh, Ethiriel couldn't help but set her gaze disapprovingly towards Gabe. ”Of course not,” she said bitingly, a tone the man hadn't heard in quite a while. ”It was a sign that I was thinking of him and wanted him to get better. That he wasn't alone... but it obviously didn't help in the end, since he locked himself away in his room once more.”
”No, that's exactly what you're saying. One gesture of 'hey, people are thinking about you' doesn't make anything automatically better. You know that first hand. Everyone in this house knows how that works by now.”
Gabe reclined in the computer chair. Despite the tone of his message, his voice didn't bite – not in the same way hers was now; bitter, while he was more exasperated than scathing. ”He can't stay in there forever, so I'll head him off when he gets out. Worst case, I will actually break that door down. This is ******** absurd.”
As Gabe explained, Ethiriel forced her raw emotions down to a more manageable level so that she wasn't so angry at the man. He was right... She just wished he would have become more responsive after her sign of good will. The Raevan was very much guilty of Henry's behavior, herself, but she knew now that she had to work around it and accept the help of others, even if it wasn't wanted at the time.
”Hopefully it doesn't come down to that,” Ethiriel said teasingly, trying to lift her voice. Leaning down to pet Nedhudir's crown, she sighed again. ”I know I cannot judge him for how he's acting... I know I did the same. I just... understanding first hand, I know this doesn't help.”
”Yeah, it's a lot easier to say when it's not you, isn't it?” Gabe let out a sigh in turn, one leg idly nudging the chair to sway back and forth lethargically. ”I've been guilty of it before, too. The problem being--” he gestured toward the hall with one arm for only the dog to see, ”--we have a grown man throwing a teenage temper tantrum.”
To be honest, Ethiriel felt a little attacked by Gabe's words, but she decided it was better for that part of the conversation to drop once he moved on. ”When Leonard... when he decided to give me up, I didn't even know he was upset – if he was upset. Henry has never shown this side to me. I don't know what I am supposed to do.” The Sigel would have leaned forward with her elbow propped on her knee if she had one, so instead she leaned sideways against Gabe's bed.
Mention of Ethiriel's previous guardian only earned a short murmur of acknowledgment from Gabe. ”I don't know s**t about the guy, so I can't compare.” He cleared his throat. ”The issue is, we can't fix this for him. We couldn't fix it for you. Nobody could fix it for me. He has to be the one to deal with it, however he needs to deal with it – but he's not dealing with it. You weren't dealing with it, either; not at first.”
Deflating a tad, Ethiriel knew Gabe was right. However... just how were they to help Henry actually deal with this? She had been just as childish during her depression, she understood, and it wasn't until her growth that she had come to terms with everything. Humans grow, but they don't grow in the way that Raevans do. That didn't change the concept though, did it? You could still go through a huge development and change as a human, couldn't you?
The Sigel calmed, bringing a hand to her face to softly rub her lower lip and chin. ”Should we just leave him like this? He will not listen to us, but... my change happened when I was out in the world. I grew. How do we convince him to take that step?”
”No, we're not leaving him like this.” Gabe sighed. ”I don't know what happened to you while you were out but I don't think the situation's that different. Process, yes, but the goal's the same. Right now, he's hyperfocused on himself. That's something we've all done.” The comment clearly included himself, as well – just about everyone in their family. ”I'll talk to him, tell him he can't keep this up, and then we'll see about step two.”
There was a slight pause, then, as Gabe tapped the plastic arm of the computer chair with his knuckles. ”But... if there's anything you want to try–“ he left the floor open for Ethiriel to respond.
With a beat of thought, Ethiriel hummed. ”I could try my tea and pheromones, but other than speaking... that is about all I could do right now, I believe.” Listening to Gabe's tapping, she mindlessly followed suit against the soft padding of his bed. ”Actually, I could...” the Sigel trailed off, her mind switching gears – she thought back to her heartache with Cesc after she had grown... Of course, she was still upset by it, but she had moved on. Perhaps he could do the same...
He waited a few seconds for Ethiriel to continue before prompting further. ”Could what?”
”Have I... told you about Rhede turning me down after I grew?” Ethiriel asked, a torn smile on her face. She sighed and continued, ”I might not know to the same extent, but I have felt his heartbreak. Perhaps... my words can move him.”
”Last I heard of it was New Years.” The chair creaked as Gabe settled in against it. ”What would you say?”
With her fingers gently pressed against her lip, Ethiriel sighed. ”This was in April. I confessed how I felt and it... did not end in the way I had hoped. Anyway... I do not want to play the pain game, but I would like for him to know that I understand and I am here for him.”
He gave a soft huff to her suggestion, more of an acknowledgment than anything dismissive. ”It's worth a shot... It happens. It sucks. You get over it.” Time was always needed to get over things, of course, and a shared ear on the topic of romantic endeavors – failed or otherwise – was not something Gabe could connect on, as he explained to Ethiriel in the car after the New Years party.
”So, the plan is: I'll talk to him, then you talk to him, and we'll figure out where to go from there.”
With absolutely no hesitation, whether Gabe was watching her or not, Ethiriel gave a solid and determined nod. ”Hopefully this helps.”
Even if it was a long shot, it was the only thing the two of them could possibly do for the older Knight brother. This needed to be done – Henry needed to heal and move on. Even if this did tear a hole in Ethiriel's confidence over love and relationships, as scary as the concept seemed to her now, this was just a point in time for the Knight family. Things would get better.
Things would move on.
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 6:07 pm
Luckily for Gabe and Ethiriel, it wasn't much later that evening that Henry had removed himself from his room to refresh his water. He was slow and sluggish, as if he had just gotten out of bed, and his hair was a surefire signal that he had. Unluckily for him, he had neglected to put more water in the filtered pitcher in the fridge, and the nurse leaned against the counter with one hand, the other pressed against his eyes, as he waited.
The sound of footsteps came from behind him and stopped at the entry to the kitchen. Arms crossed, shoulder leaned against the doorway, Gabe stood in the way of his brother's exit – and waited.
At the sound of approaching feet, Henry tiredly looked up to meet his brother's gaze. There was a wordless exchange of stares, the nurse with the lower half of his face covered by his hand. He had nothing to say, no passions to exchange or ideals to share – most of his seemed from the distant past to him now – so he continued to stare blankly at Gabe while waiting for the water to filter.
After several seconds of this and unbroken eye contact, Gabe initiated.
”Nothing to say, huh.” He clicked his tongue. ”Were you just ignoring me earlier or did your ears stop working?”
Henry scoffed silently behind his hand, eyes looking much more tired all of a sudden. He didn't answer right away, turning to face the sink and stop the water now that the pitcher was full. ”Had my headphones on,” he said plainly before pouring himself a fresh glass of water and putting the rest back into the fridge. ”I didn't hear you.”
”Right. Because noise canceling headphones and the volume so loud you can't hear anything is normal for you now. I should have known. What was I thinking?” Gabe's own tone matched Henry's plainness, at least until the refrigerator door closed; the younger Knight's expression hardened and his voice lowered to match. ”Cut the crap.”
With his hand still holding the refrigerator's handle, Henry squeezed hard and groaned. ”What do you want, Gabe?”
”You to stop being a petulant child, for starters.”
”The love of my life left me, I was told to take off from work because I kept screwing up, I can't seem to do anything but make mistakes, and my life is falling apart at the seams. Thanks for your concern.”
His eyes rolled immediately. ”Yes, I'm well aware. If you recall, I was there and was concerned. It's been about two weeks and you've barely done anything except hole up away from anyone who is concerned.” His voice returned to the flat, plain tone from before. ”But please, do tell how else your life has gone so sour that it's falling apart, because if there's anything else it's news to me.”
Eyes narrowing at Gabe, the older Knight was suddenly at a loss for words. His brother had caught him in a corner and he was aware of it, which only served to make him more bitter at the situation. Scoffing, Henry leaned is butt against the counter and crossed his arms.
”Just... leave me alone, Gabe. I'm not in the mood for this.
”When will you be?” Gabe didn't move from the doorway. ”Because all I'm seeing right now is another months long melt down in this house.”
Henry's eyes bit at this point, daggers pointed straight to Gabe. He felt a fire in his chest that he hadn't felt in longer than he could remember, and before he could stop himself, he spat, ”If you don't like it, then why don't you leave? Besides, you used to do this, too.”
Gabe let out a short, spiteful laugh. ”Yeah, I did. I was also a teenager and an idiot. What's your excuse?”
A tense silence filled the room. Both men stared each other down in a quiet that felt agonizingly long, with Gabe matching Henry's glare.
”And I guess we forgot that was the plan all along. But I cant. Even if I could right now, like hell it'd just be me leaving.” There was a pause just long enough for the meaning to sink in. ”Unlike you, I don't avoid problems when they're right in front of my face. You're setting a great example for Ethiriel.”
While Henry continued to feel nothing but bitterness for his brother, an entirely new feeling, his heart dropped into his stomach at the mention of Ethiriel. He stared dumbly at Gabe, eyes wide and brows knit, as his arms slowly fell from their crossed position to his sides.
”Eth--” the nurse mumbled under his breath, his gaze falling to the floor before a hand met his temples.
”Yeah,” Gabe answered tersely, and waited.
Man... Suddenly Henry felt beyond helpless. He recalled Ethiriel trying to cheer him up, and when it failed she would leave him. Now that he thought back on it, it would have been easy to tell that his inability to cooperate upset the Sigel. The more he thought about it, the more the nurse realized that he was discouraging Ethiriel from just trying to help. Crap...
With his head still tilted down, Henry returned his arms to their crossed position and exhaled hard. While he still felt unwelcomed anger towards Gabe at the moment, his brother did just wake him up. He couldn't begrudge him for that, but what was he to say?
Gabe watched Henry with a stony but expectant stare. Henry's continued silence prompted Gabe to speak further. ”The world doesn't stop because something went wrong, Henry.”
It was true... it was true. The nurse let out a controlled sigh, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. His anger had run dry and now all Henry felt was weary and emotional over Ethiriel... and, honestly, for Gabe. He'd never hated his brother in his life, but in his sudden anger he almost did and now he regretted it. He regretted speaking to him in such a manner and he hated that he had let himself go this far.
”...I'm sorry,” said Henry, voice low and remorseful. He still didn't meet Gabe's gaze.
For several moments, Gabe didn't speak. Despite Henry looking away, his younger brother's eyes locked onto him were all too evident.
When he finally spoke again, he did so calmly. ”Are you ready to deal with this, now?”
Despite his voice croaking, Henry did his best to give Gabe a steady ”yeah” in response. He echoed it again, clearer this time, before pushing himself away from the counter, though he didn't step any closer to his brother. He needed to do this – if not for himself, then for Ethiriel.
Gabe observed his brother quietly as he reoriented himself in the kitchen. For a few moments more, he said nothing and remained where he stood; he scrutinized Henry, up and down, then finally peeled himself away from the door frame.
”Good,” Gabe turned and stepped out of the kitchen, leaving Henry free to do the same, ”then deal with it.”
Henry lifted his eyes only enough to watch Gabe leave the room and his gaze lingered where his brother stood. Everything he said was true and the nurse knew it well. He couldn't keep doing this – if Ethiriel could pick herself up from her spiraling depression enough to grow, both physically and as an individual, then so could he. The man had, had little contact with Candice since she left, mostly just facebook statuses in passing... it seemed like she was moving on without him, and as much as it stung, he could, too.
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 12:47 pm
Again, nervousness seized Henry as he stood before Ethiriel's door. The man had slept on his brother's words from the night before, and as much as he still hurt, he knew he had to make a change. He couldn't keep doing this to himself, to Gabe, to Ethiriel. It wasn't fair and it wasn't kind. He needed to do something.
Without grabbing onto the doorknob, the nurse hovered his knuckles about an inch from the door before finally biting the bullet and rapping twice.
While Ethiriel hadn't necessarily expected Henry to step out of his room today, let alone approach, just by his footfalls and knocking alone she could tell that it wasn't the younger Knight at her door. She had paused her book, pausing for a moment to let the nurse sit in his nerves, before answering. ”Come in, Henry,” she said loud enough for him to hear. Remaining on her bed, fingers tangled and palms resting against her stomach. The Sigel hadn't even bothered removing either of her earbuds, but her hearing was good enough that it didn't matter.
She waited in silence as her guardian stood awkwardly before her room.
After a moment, Henry finally grabbled the knob and pushed open the door. Nedhudir's head perked at the light sound of metal scraping against other metal mechanisms within the door, and he lifted it entirely when the man came fully into the room. Ethiriel sat expectingly, though of what she didn't know.
”Hey...” was all that came from Henry's unsure lips. The door hadn't even been bothered to close as he stood at the threshold.
At Henry's tone, Ethiriel's lifted brows eased and she let out a silent breath. It seemed as though he were finally trying – perhaps Gabe had gotten through to him, after all. ”Hello, Henry,” she responded, voice softer now that he was in the room. Admittedly, the Sigel was still a tad irritated, but now that there was a chance of him making an effort – at least, he seemed to be coming out of his room and initiating conversation, himself – her own emotions eased as well. ”How are you feeling?”
While there was still a hesitance in his voice, an awkward stutter at forced words, Henry obliged. ”I'm... I'm okay. How're you feeling?”
”I am fine,” said Ethiriel plainly. ”It is good to see you out of your room.” Unlike Gabe, for the moment the Raevan had no intention of confronting Henry over his behavior or chosen coping methods – she had done something very similar, herself, so she couldn't blame him. She could only begrudge him for how he had shut her out the way he did. Again, Ethiriel was guilty of that too, so she never would have put it against Henry if he had been upset with her once upon a time.
With a chuckle, Henry dismissed the statement with a mere, ”yeah...” Another beat of silence, awkward on the man's side rather than Ethiriel's, he continued, ”Eth, I... I wanted to say I'm sorry...”
Ethiriel held up a hand to silence Henry, coming to a sit and removing her earbuds in the process. She then sat her walkman closer to the wall on the bed as to not knock it off. ”Henry,” she said softly, pushing herself off of the bed entirely to hover closer, ”Let us walk.”
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 1:24 pm
”The fresh air feels nice, doesn't it?” Ethiriel said, one arm looped carefully around Henry's as the other held fast to Nedhudir's leash. The beginning of their walk was made in silence as both parties thought over what should be said, though in Henry's case it was swirling nerves. The Sigel was calm and collected, having had time to think throughout her guardian's entire ordeal.
The nurse nodded out of habit of not speaking over the last while, but immediately corrected himself once realization hit. Keeping an eye before them, Henry passed a quick glance toward Ethiriel before looking forward once more. ”Yeah...” he replied, voice trailing away at the end. There were so many things he felt as if he needed to say, but everything was mixed and mingled in his head. Unable to figure out where to start, he continued the “awkward” silence, instead. Mindlessly, he brought his free hand to meet Ethiriel's arm and hold gently.
The Raevan's gaze never strayed from in front of them, though the natural line of her mouth curved ever so slightly at the new warmth on her arm. The days were getting cold and most of the leaves had already browned and fallen from their branches, leaving damp and muddled crunches beneath Henry's shoes and Nedhudir's confident steps.
The pause continued, but there was no discomfort for Ethiriel. She was used to silence and she welcomed it; it have her a chance to think, reflect, enjoy the sounds of everything around her. The crisp air had its own voice, much like the rest of nature surrounding them.
However, there did come a point where she needed to speak.
Lifting her chin, the Raevan took a soft breath and closed her milky green eyes. ”Your apology is accepted. I know it was... a very hard thing you have gone through.” Again, her voice was gentle and soothing, echoed by the soft scent of tea released with her calming pheromones. An aura of peace surrounded them in the cool air of winter. ”But... do not forget; you are never alone.”
Immediately, Henry's breath caught in his throat and tears stung his eyes. Opening his mouth to respond, the nurse's voice failed him, mind blanking.
”It surely does not compare in depth, but I do understand how you feel. I was denied, too.” It was then Ethiriel's turn to be silent, though there was no sign of negative emotion on her face as Henry looked to her in confusion. Her chin lowered, but her blind gaze never faltered.
”What...?” do you mean? was when Henry had tried to say.
This time, the Sigel did turn her head. Her eyes didn't meet the man's, staring vaguely past him. A shadow of a smile twitched on her soft lips. ”Shortly after growing, I confessed to Rhede about my feelings for him.” Something Henry had never heard about, even in passing – only Gabe had come to known. In response, the nurse's brows furrowed, though not in anger. ”I had fallen for him long ago. I... I still am. However, he did not return my feelings. There was a time where we did not speak much anymore, but things have settled and we are still friends.
“Life moves on, Henry. We find peace in whatever ways we can. I know by experience that you cannot let your life stop because of one hiccup in the grand plan.”
At this, Henry could only stare. None of this he had known – nothing about love or denial, never once discussed between the two of them. How much about Ethiriel did he not know? How much did she not feel comfortable sharing with him? Was it his fault? Tearing his eyes away, Henry searched the empty street beside the two of them for answers that it wouldn't give.
Was there always a rift between them?
”You will move on. You will find happiness again.” Tough words... if only Ethiriel felt them within herself. Sure, she had technically moved on from the situation, but deep inside she still felt that ping of desire and want for Rhedefre that she had so desperately been trying to change. Still, she didn't let this interfere with their friendship, anymore – it was her burden to bear. It was fruitless and it would never get anywhere: she had to make the best of what she has.
And then that shadow of doubt.
Was love worth it...? Henry would surely move on, but would he trust again? Would he find comfort in another person and let himself get carried away just to get hurt again? Would Ethiriel let herself fall into the trap of falling for someone just to be denied? Or, even worse, develop a mutual love just for it to end in one life changing moment?
Ethiriel had fallen silent in this spiral of dark thoughts, glossing over Henry's response. It had been positive, that he understood and would try, but the Sigel's mind was now somewhere else. Every part of her still called out to be with Cesc, to bury herself in his arms and become lost in his aura, but it felt like poison now. Nothing would ever happen between them, and she decided that nothing would ever happen between her or anyone else... for her own sake. So that she wouldn't get hurt like that again. Would she be able to avoid it?
”Ethiriel...?”
Between thoughts, the Sigel snapped back into reality and glanced towards Henry with wide eyes. How long had she been lost...? ”Goodness! I'm sorry, Henry!” she said, trying to add a gentle laugh to soften the mood. Her expression had fixed itself out of habit, as well.
Letting out a soft laugh of his own, Henry gently prodded Ethiriel with his arm. ”I think Nedhudir needs to stop,” he said as he began to pull out a plastic bag. The Raevan laughed for real this time, though it was tainted with emotion that Henry couldn't pick up on.
Wait...
No, Ethiriel decided. No, it was time for her to move on, too. She could still feel for Cesc, she could still love him and still be friends. She could allow herself to befriend and become close with others, even if it could end in difficulty. Like she had said, life shouldn't stop just for one small thing. She could do this, she could take the reigns and continue forward.
That fear was still there, but it wouldn't stop her anymore.
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 1:26 pm
I Wouldn`t MindInvited to dinner, Henry and Ethiriel visit Nell and Dair for a quiet evening.
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 4:54 pm
Upon returning from their walk, Ethiriel parted ways with Henry – with a request. She explained that she fully understood his want to be alone and that she would oblige... but rather than burying himself in his room and drowning out the world with music, he was to sit in the living room and watch TV or read. The nurse was hesitant to take this request, but he knew that it was a step towards recovery. He wanted to wallow more, but for Ethiriel's sake he would try.
It had been assumed that the Sigel either had retired for sleep or she was invested in a book, so to be polite, Henry kept the volume rather low as he watched. Most everything felt mindless and droning, so it wasn't long before the television was turned off and he curled up at the end of the couch beneath the lamp.
This was a little easier to get into, he decided. Not feeling much into fantasy or romance at the moment, Henry had pulled out an old childhood favorite. The spine was busted, cover scuffed and faded, but the inner pages were as pristine as a book over a decade old could be. It was shorter than he remembered, merely being a couple hundred pages long, but it would suffice for the night, at least. Even if details had been lost with age, rereading refreshed his memory on the plot immediately. It was an old western themed book, something he had gotten attached to after an assignment in grade school – being much older, it was easy to catch parts he hadn't understood as a child, and that made the book that much more interesting.
He'd have to thank Ethiriel for the suggestion.
As time passed, Henry found himself becoming rather groggy and eventually the man dozed off. His sleep didn't last too terribly long, maybe for about an hour, before his phone buzzed in his breast pocket and pulled him from his light dreams. It was his mother.
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:49 pm
As always, Clem and Jonas were more than open to Henry and Ethiriel coming over for a visit. Mother Knight hadn't had the chance to spoil the Sigel since Thanksgiving and, of course, felt the need to pamper, and both parents wanted to see their son, anyway. Their mother in particular had tried to convince Gabe to come along, but to no one's surprise – especially considering he did put in his family time during the holiday – he declined. This suited things fine however as Henry wanted to get advice on his own problems, so not having Gabe's attitude about his parents present should make things a little easier.
While the idea of being pampered wasn't exactly a turnoff for Ethiriel, the Raevan was more interested in seeing her guardian improve over anything. Clem's fondness was heartwarming, but it was often a bit too much. Jonas was more her speed, easy going and full of good advice. She hoped to be able to help as much as Henry's father could someday.
While the nurse hadn't even bothered knocking at the door, as he let himself and Ethiriel in he called out, ”Mom? Dad? We're here.”
The interior of their home was always cozy and clean, but never overly tidy that it seemed stuffy. During Thanksgiving, it had been decorated in a slightly confused mess of autumn colors and the burgeoning of some Christmas decorations that Gabe didn't miss a beat of commenting on. Now, with the turkey day behind, the next jolly holiday was fully embraced and there was an assortment of minor knickknacks and other things to seasonally line the walls in preparation for winter.
It was a warm and inviting atmosphere, as it often was, but with the added bonus of a familiar pine scent that overtook any lingering wafts of pumpkin pie from Thanksgiving dinner.
”Oh, come in!” Clementine's voice rang out from the living room, as if they hadn't already done so.
There was a faint chuckle, much lower than her voice, that accompanied some quick shuffling. When she rounded the corner, she let out a heartfelt sigh at the both of them and wasted little time in closing the gap to scoop Henry and Ethiriel up into individual hugs.
”Was the trip alright?” she asked as she stepped away to give them both space, though one of her hands lingered upon her son's arm.
From where she exited, another set of footsteps – slower and more thoughtful – sounded as Jonas made his entrance. ”Hey, you two,” he offered fondly without approaching too closely just yet. Much like Gabe, Jonas kept some distance until it was eased into while Clementine charged head first into friendly communion much like Henry... under normal circumstances.
During the previous holiday, Henry was freshly riding through the depression so his deflated attitude was no surprise to the Knight parents, but to their relief he was a sight better than he had been. His eyes still looked worn and tired, as did his smile, but they were there and just a tad more natural – less forced. The nurse placed his hand over Clem's warmly, looking to Ethiriel. ”Trip was fine. It's getting cold, though.”
”It is wonderful to be here. I do love the pine.”
Clementine's smile met her voice, but then so did the worried tilt it had. ”I'm glad you like it, dear.”
With the lull in greetings, Jonas approached more amiably and offered a hug to his eldest. ”Come in and get warm, then.” He gave a gentle pat to Henry's back and slipped him away from Clementine to lead the nurse toward the living room.
”Can I get you anything?” Clem asked Ethiriel as she brushed the Sigel's arm. She lowered her voice. ”I think they want to talk for a minute, if you don't mind coming to the kitchen with me.”
Ethiriel felt Henry's immediate presence slip away as his father led him into the other room and she looked toward that direction with a gentle smile. From the beginning, she learned that Jonas had a way with words, especially when it came to speaking with her guardian, so she knew Henry was in good hands. Nodding, the Sigel offered the brushed arm out for Clementine despite knowing the layout of their house rather well. ”I would not mind at all.”
The Nurse's shoulders relaxed at the warmth of his father's large hand on his back, following Jonas' lead into the living room. Much like his posture, Henry's expression eased naturally and a calmness washed over him.
Taking a seat on his favorite side of the couch, the man took a second to vigorously rub his face with both hands and sighed. ”It's good to see you, dad,” Henry said warmly through a soft voice. Jonas just had an air about him, so laid back and kind; it was easy to breathe around the bushy bearded man. With his elbows resting on his knees, Henry cupped his face to look his father in the eye. ”Sorry for coming over with such short notice.”
His father's eyes crinkled some beneath all of his hair; the concern was obvious even without him speaking about it and Jonas reached over to give Henry another soft pat to his shoulder.
”You're always welcome, notice or not, you know that.” The man's voice was soft, low like you would expect from looking at him but lacking any roughness. ”The same goes for your brother and Ethiriel.” Jonas gave a momentary pause to assess his son, a brief smile beneath his beard, and his bushy brows upturned. ”How are you holding up, son?”
Again Henry smiled at the pat, meeting his eyes despite how soft it was. He let out a hum at his dad's response with just a moment's pause before a nod followed. ”I...” the nurse started, letting out a breath through his nose. ”I'm... better, I think. It was time for me to pick myself up... I was 'gone' for too long.”
His father nodded, and there was that muffled bearded smile again. ”That's good to hear. I know it's been rough...” Jonas hunched forward in his seat, arms against his knees. He looked toward the carpet in his slight pause. ”You know we're all here for you. Anything you need.”
The nurse scoffed at himself, though it wasn't entirely bitter. ”Yeah... I had kinda forgotten that for a bit... I wasn't fair to Ethiriel or Gabe, or even you guys...”
There was a slight huff of a laugh from beneath his father's whiskers. ”It's water under the bridge for us. Just tell us if there's anything we can do for you. Doesn't matter what it is.” Jonas looked up again to meet Henry's eyes; his creased with fondness, sobered only by the circumstances. ”But listen, if you can... hm? You've got a good heart, son – and you've got a lot of love to give. That's why you do the work you do. You know better than anyone here what it's like to have people come into your life, to care about them, and for them to go.”
Tentatively, he clasped his hands and looked back at the carpet. He shuffled just slightly in his seat, as if deciding how best to continue. ”You know it hurts when they do. But you know you did some good while they were there. That's the life you picked, son, and I know it's not quite the same... but it's not all that different, either. The world's gonna keep turning and you're gonna keep finding people you want to take care of. That's who you are.”
Henry's eyes welled up the more Jonas spoke, but even as his father would glance to the carpet, he would keep his own gaze fixed directly into the older man's face. Without a doubt, he knew he was right.
”Y-yeah--” Henry choked, immediately bringing a hand to his face while tears fell freely. The nurse let out a laugh as he covered his face; he wasn't hiding from his father, there was no hiding from him. In fact, it was always hard for the man to hide much of anything. Emotions were usually on his sleeve as his tender heart wouldn't allow anything else. Nodding his head, he let out a long, heavy sigh. ”I wanna do right by the world. I can't let my own life halt over one thing. Ethiriel even told me that.”
With Henry's tears flowing freely, his father's eyes soon followed in cloudiness. Jonas paused as Henry spoke, save for a short nod, but as a quiet followed the larger man shuffled closer to the edge of the couch and offered an arm to put around Henry's shoulders in comfort.
”You'll get through,” he assured, with a minute sway, ”We always do.”
There had been plenty of snags in their lives before, though never one quite like this. They were different, certainly, so comparisons were difficult, but between the health scares they had all endured over the years with Gabe, the difficult move Ethiriel endured from her previous guardian or the rough patch following her surgery, not to mention the countless children that came and went through the hospital time and again for all sorts of reasons, it was important to put things into perspective.
Time would be needed, of course, but time would heal – and until it did, there were so many people around ready to tend the wound. In his own home lived personifications of antiseptic and bandages, in the form of his brother and Ethiriel, and it seemed they had already taken the liberty of attempting treatment.
Once his father's arm rested upon him, Henry chuckled through tears once more and leaned into the gesture. No matter the situation, regardless of whether he could empathize or not, Jonas was the most supportive father anyone could ask for, especially Henry.
For all he knew, Candice had moved on without a hitch – she had left with little problem, so why had Henry given her this much power over his happiness once she was gone? There were other people who needed him back to the way he was: optimistic, helpful, caring and so much more. He couldn't afford to keep sulking over something that didn't deserve as much thought as he had been obsessively pouring into the wound. Things needed to look up, and the first step was... well, taking that step. Henry couldn't forget, but he could move on.
”So long as I have you guys,” Henry said through a heavy sniff, uncovering his pitiful face to comb his fingers through his slightly-more-tame-than-previous hair. ”I know I can do anything. I need to do anything. For you. For Ethiriel.
“For me.”
”That's right,” Jonas gripped Henry's shoulder gently and gave his son an affectionate wiggle, ”You're more capable of that than you give yourself credit for.”
From the kitchen, there were soft sounds of conversation between Ethiriel and Clementine and, in the brief silence between father and son, Jonas took the opportunity to ease the situation. ”Do you think you're ready for your mother?” Of course, in Henry's case, that meant doting.
As Jonas wiggled, Henry's head wobbled from side to side while he seemed to ease into a more relaxed laugh. Already he felt much lighter, like this talk had taken a great weight off of his shoulders and chest. He could take on the world and face his demons now.
Things were going to look up.
”I guess,” he teased, sniffing once before reaching to the coffee table for a tissue. Henry blew his nose and, with a fresh tissue, dried his face in anticipation for his mother's return. Finally, the nurse could breathe easier and while it still hurt, he felt like now was the time to make a change for the better.
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