|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:56 am
Ragina was a junior at the college where Bella, Casey, Harold, and Iorwen went to school; but, that didn’t stop her from branching out and making friends outside of school. To be true, most of her friends had never quite made it to college. One of them, her brother smoking outside, happened to be a high school drop out. While quitting school to get a job to pay for a little baby hadn’t been the brightest decision on the block, he was still her brother…and unfortunately it would be rude to kick him out of the party she was invited to.
To be honest, the blonde had a big crush on a girl she had been too shy to converse with the entire last year. Iorwen, (who she had misheard the name and thought she was called Gwendolyn). So for the past year Ragina had been too shy to talk to Iorwen until she finally summed up the courage. After all, she hadn’t really seen her ever with a man, and suddenly spending all her time with Bella, the girl thought that -just maybe- Iorwen liked girls too. Now, Ragina sometimes liked guys, but it depended upon the guy. Waiting inside the house in the kitchen to pull the freshly baked party mix out of the oven, she had just pulled the tray from the oven when Iorwen and her brunette friend walked in front of the house. ‘ She’s here!’ Ragina rushed to a nearby mirror and stared at her reflection. While having dred locks probably ruined a great deal of her chances, she didn’t have the heart to cut them after all these years together…Hiding them behind a bandana, Ragina rushed back into the kitchen just in time to see the blonde poking about the drink section.
“ You came!”, Ragina hugged the girl like they were old friends. Bear hug squeeze and all, without any form of polite restraint.
“ How are you today?!”, Ragina was a little too giddy and excited sounding; but, that was due to her nervousness. While some got quieter when they felt shy, Ragina got a little louder and as a result she might have made the situation more awkward than it needed to be.
“ Its good to see you…”, Rambling now, Ragina waited a moment before grabbing a bottle of Gale’s ale and popping it open. The dred-head thought that the blonde might have more feminine cares for drinks; but, there wasn’t much selection here besides wine coolers around and Ragina was not a fan of pomegranate flavoring.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:48 am
   RETURNMORETOCEN【Enigma⌒o f⌒freedom】RETURNMORETOCEN
【Unclosing⌒a n⌒unseen⌒d o o r】RETURNMORETOCEN ☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽RETURNMORETOCEN
Finding her way around an unfamiliar house had started to become a bit of a hobby of Iorwen by now. So it wasn't to hard for the blonde to find her way around to where she could find drinks, she looked around and it didn't seem that whoever had thrown this party had considered the possibility that some people wanted to enjoy themselves without alcohol. That was bummer, but perhaps the blonde could manage to make something up with what was available, if the one doing the drinks would let her.
“ You came!”
Oh god, that sounded allot more excited than the shy approach yesterday. Iorwen turned just in time to find herself engulfed in almost manlike one sided bear hug from the dreadlocked female. What did I get myself into? The blonde had definitely not thought she'd be greeted in such a fashion if she took the invitation of this girl and instantly she was glad she had taken Bella along as alternative company with Harold as the only half welcome leech.
"Err... Y-"
“ How are you today?!”
Glad to be out of the females grip and straightening out her clothes Iorwen tried to grasp with what speed the woman seemed to be moving and making moves. Though the moves did miss their target by a wide shot. And here I was, the lesbian that wanted to take it slow overtaken by the one that rushes through life as if she's on speed. And there was no telling if the woman really wasn't on speed by the looks of her.
“ Its good to see you…”
You definitely made that clear Though Iorwen trying to gather herself again after the unexpected mad approach. She could at least try to push the woman away friendly. Iorwen really had it in her to just turn her back and say 'no' with a egoistic air about her. No she'd try to at least take this in her usual good mannered way.
"Uhm...Yes... Hello."
Iorwen lightly shook her head trying to remember why she had come there. Oh yes, a good time and this spot because of drinks.
"You don't have anything non-alcoholic on hand by any chance?" She asked, seeing that the woman was happily sipping on some ale. She'd better not try to feed me drunk. Thought Iorwen all too well remembering that anything beyond tipsy was a bad idea or at least if you found yourself on a party with a man with other ideas.
☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:58 pm
“ Uhm…Yes…Hello.”, Ragina didn’t need a magic eight ball to know that her overly confident approach had made this situation awkward a little too quickly. ‘ Great Rae…freak her out…that’ll get her.’ Chastising herself, the dreadlocked woman raised her hand to scratch the back of her head (unaware of how unappealing that might look to the proper woman) before looking around the room to try and think of a more interesting subject. ‘ What to say, what to say, what to say….’ Her brain, being in pressure of speech mode, did not like her hesitation. Well just say something- Reggie.
“ So…um…do you like flowe--”, Ragina was about to take another sip of her ale, to try and seem ‘mature’ or ‘cool’ when the blonde interrupted her statement.
“ You don’t have anything non-alcoholic on hand by any chance?”, Suddenly the dread-head’s eyes welled up like a frazzled toad. ‘ Oh no!’ Gwendolyn didn’t like drinking! She was just as prim and proper as she looked and Ragina had just been digging a deeper hole for herself. ‘ Cr*p! no-no-no-no-no-no-no….’ Chuckling awkwardly to try and break the tension in the air, Ragina took exactly one step backwards and dropped the practically full bottle of ale into an empty trash. The bottle barely making a ‘swish’ sound as it hit the bottom of the trash bag, Ragina’s hand reappeared from behind her back as if there hadn’t been a bottle there in the first place.
Pretending that she detested anything that had to do with alcohol, the woman’s face contorted worriedly as she tried to think of what didn’t have any alcohol in it. ‘ Beer cans…wine coolers…punch…ah I wouldn’t trust it…Milk…soda.’ Milk or soda? Great impression Ragina…Hi! Want some string cheese to go with your milk? Soda seemed to be the last thing that the woman would drink in a thousand years, given her trim figure, so Ragina emotionally sweat as her worried eyes began to frantically look about the room. ‘ The garage fridge!’ There was capri sun in that fridge…and while it was childish, it was somewhat nostalgic ‘sentimental’ thing that little kids usually drank so rarely that it was a special thing. ‘ Well its better than soda…’ For some reason she wished she had some ‘tang’. Iorwen seemed to be the smart type to try and impress by offering the drink that the astronauts took to the moon.
“ Oh yeah! We’ve got lots of stuff!” Liar. ‘ Act cool Reggie…calm down. Take control. You got this. Don’t worry so much.’ Ragina nodded as if she hadn’t just fibbed before chuckling an awkward (and optimistic) giggle and rushing through a door behind her to rush to the garage fridge and open it. Seeing a bunch of her brother’s capri-suns, Ragina nibbled her lip and prayed that her European-looking lady-friend had never heard of capri-suns before. ‘ Really. Lets impress a girl by giving her a drink you have to poke with your straw to open.’ Feeling more foolish than ever before, Ragina just grabbed a handful and rushed out of the garage with the biggest smile on her face.
“ I hope you like pacific cooler flavor!”, the woman said as she rushed out, her heart racing in her chest as Ragina thought she saw an empty kitchen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:17 am
─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─
Well you may have forgotten about this little mad woman, but she's back and with a vengeance of some sort. After having stampeded out of the house with her favoured gir backpack she hadn't seen any of our favourite players, which was a good thing on it's own, especially for Harold. Well he had definitely had left an impression with the peroxide blonde. Tonight we're in for a laugh, because if there was anybody who knew about almost every party in college circles then it was Annabelle.
"Hey Annie! Wanna see my gun?!" Screamed one rather drunken man from besides a man that seemed vaguely familiar.
"I don't take offers!" She returned and happily skipped along downing her one bottle of ale. She quietly wormed her way through the crowd like a sort of hunter. She tried to see what was on offer and not taken, though... Annabelle hadn't let herself be deterred by the claim of another woman so far. Some men were just too cute or interesting to mind such a claim. They were all equally easy... She had yet to find an actual challenge. Talking of challenges she saw a couple of familiar face, one of which she knew a little bit too well. There was something different though. He was all made up last time! That's it! What had Einian said? Guy was gay? Nah not really, because if Freud was allowed to be right about anything then it was that people were all bisexually, but still had to realize it.
She finished her bottle of ale, leaving it behind on a table and pushed herself through a few groups of people towards the couch. She gave little to no regard to the female sitting there and flopped down next to the male.
"Well if it isn't the bed breaker." She mused with a sweet little giggle and leaning towards the raven head. She had no regard for his person space and leaned towards him.
"What brings you to this party?" Of course she was not sweet as a kitten.
─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ Yours truely,_____
______________Annabelle~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 6:09 am
RETURNMORETOCEN 【Enigma⌒o f⌒freedom】RETURNMORETOCEN
【Unclosing⌒a n⌒unseen⌒d o o r】RETURNMORETOCEN ☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽RETURNMORETOCEN
It seemed that asking for something without alcohol caused a panic attack with the dread-locked girl. Wow, was it really that bad with alternatives? Man, Iorwen already felt bad for dragging Bella along on this. She could apologize for that later, but first she had to deal with this potential stalker she had here. She watched woman going to and fro without a word. It was just way obvious that the woman -whose name Iorwen had even forgotten- was trying way too hard. The blond after all didn't mind a soda, she just had a balanced diet that kept her on an even weight.
Iorwen inwardly cheered as the girl rushed of to somewhere and the chemics wiz could make her silent escape. She didn't wait for long before walking off to find Bella and Harold again. She found them after some effort and she forced herself next to Bella with something of a distressed look. She need a way to get the girl to relax and stop trying to please. She leaned to Bella's ear.
"Bella... I seem to have acquired a worshipper." She whispered silently, trying still to figure out what to do. Then something of an idea slipped into Iorwen's brain. Wouldn't the rasta head lay off if she was taken? She looked at Bella for a second, not sure if she'd dared to ask. Then again what were the odds that she'd see the girl again after tonight? Not allot thought Iorwen. The blonde lightly swallowed before continuing.
"I hate asking this, but could you..." Ugh... She was having more trouble with asking this than she had expected. Not in the least was it trouble some, because she was asking bella to pretend that they were in some sort of relationship while the blonde had actually been trying to work towards such a thing. She retook her sentence after a few seconds. "Could you pretend to be my girlfriend?" There the question was out. If Bella said no then she wouldn't mind. She'd understand that well enough.Then she'd tried to find something else to get Ragina to relax.
☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 9:53 pm
[Run Harold; run!]
Harold was just aimlessly searching the faces of the flock leaving and entering the house in case the Case-ster showed up when the sight of one particularly unappealing blonde happened to spot him sitting next to Bella. Eyes widening, Harold looked around the room to try and find a quick exit, but he wouldn’t be able to reach the back door without being seen and followed. ‘ ******** style="color: black">’, Harold saw that Bella was just glancing about the room, and so he put his arm around her shoulders and leaned in close to her ear to whisper something. Just before the blonde sat down next to him.
“Well if it isn’t the bed breaker.”, Her breath smelled like cheap beer, and Harold grimaced because of it. The only ale he liked was the expensive dark stouts that Bella usually preferred to drink. Scooting too close to Bella in order to press his hip and leg against her own. When the blonde leaned in towards him after that awful sounding giggle, Harold pressed against Bella enough to make her move backwards.
“ What brings you to this party?”, Harold really didn’t know what to say at first, and in looking to Bella with a pleading, disgusted, look; she smiled reassuringly and nodded as if she would go with anything he said. At least, that was the way Harold was going to take it, simply from desperation.
“ My pregnant boyfriend here wanted to sit and chill with a few friends. What brings you here?”, Harold playfully patted Bella’s tummy with a playful smirk after saying the word ‘you’ as meanly as if he had been talking to a corner whore who wandered into a four class restaurant.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:31 pm
Bella was just waiting for Iorwen to come back with a few drinks when Harold began to lean into her so much that she had to prop her hand on the couch to stay as upright as possible. ‘ Whats with the touchy-feely snuggle thing you’re doing Skull?’ , Bella wondered just moments before the man’s head froze in one position. Curious, Bella looked at where the raven-head was glancing and saw that really annoying, loud, ditzy blonde that ruined one or two of Iorwen’s books over a stupid backpack. She had no consideration for someone else’s feelings, and that was perhaps what irked Bella about that girl the most. Grimacing almost as much as Harold was, Bella sent the man a reassuring look when the girl spoke, and his face turned to send her a pleading look. ‘ I can’t stand this girl either…’, Bella telepathically said before watching Harold turn to the blonde and speak something scandalous.
“ My pregnant boyfriend here,” Harold paused and emphasized the word (if only to her own head) that he was talking about –her- when he said boyfriend. Instead of thinking that he said the wrong word, like an average person, Bella’s eyes widened in near anger and she wanted to grab a sofa pillow and whip Harold until he couldn’t sit down for three days without considerable pain. ‘ NO! How could you!?!’ Harold probably didn’t know this; but, she hadn’t told anyone else about her…thoughts or beliefs concerning herself. Yes, there were times when she did consider herself to be a man trapped in a woman’s body, and she didn’t doubt that secret fact; but, she hadn’t told Casey or anyone else about something so private. Some things were easier to tell a complete stranger, and when she had talked with Harold about it, they had not known each other long, and she didn’t know that he was Casey’s new boyfriend. He was really nice about it, and promised to keep it quiet, but to be honest she didn’t think she would see him again, and until now Harold had kept his word. Then again…it wasn’t like the blond would think what she was thinking. That blonde wouldn’t spread any rumors would she? Bella inwardly laughed because Casey would probably think Harold was ‘telling more lies’ if he ever heard about it. (Little did Bella know that Harold had blurted it out to insult Einian during their fight at the college).
“ wanted to sit and chill with a few friends. What brings you here?”, The cruelty of his voice when he said the word ‘you’ was not at all hard for Bella to spot when he wasn’t being subtle about his dislike of her. Bella was not fond of her, but she wouldn’t have been so mean right up to her face unless she was provoked. Raising an eyebrow, Bella thought that the girl must have done or said something last they saw each other for him to say such a thing. But then she caught a wiff of that cheap beer scent from the blonde’s breath, and she grimaced herself…just before Harold patted her belly and sent her a ‘she’ll be gone in a heartbeat now thanks to our act’ look that felt strangely reassuring, but she didn’t believe it. The girl looked like she adored fights and playfights, so she was just going to have to pull out the big guns and hope that the girl finally took a hint.
“ Yeah…Skull and I are just waiting for our friend right now…”
And reaching forward…Bella set her (or his) hand on Harold’s groin and squeezed while looking that blonde dead in the eye as she narrowed her own in a territorial display. ‘ No one teases, pisses off, or makes him suffer but me; you got it?’, After what Harold did to her, Bella felt that she deserved that right to his suffering, and began to move her fingers when she noticed the soft material beginning to harden under her fingers. Not enough to show, unless Harold wore spandex, the man stared down at Bella with one eyebrow raised because she did that in *public* with witnesses present. There was an uncomfortable expression on the man’s face because she squeezed a good deal too hard; but, by the time Iorwen rejoined them, Bella’s hand was in her lap, and she was treating Harold’s arm like a pillow for her neck.
Iorwen looked very worried, and Bella began to fret within her heart that maybe something bad had happened to her, such as an attempted feel-up or something just as unpleasant. Before the brunette had time to wonder though, the blonde science major began to mumble something about having acquired a worshipper. ‘ What do you mean by ‘worshipper’?’, Was someone following Iorwen around asking for her to autograph their underwear? Bella should have gotten the simple message, but it took her friend being more in-depth to finally understand.
“ I hate asking this, but could you…”, Iorwen hesitated, and Bella couldn’t help but feel a sinking feeling that the pause was not a good sign, and carried an ill omen with it.
“ Could you pretend to be my girlfriend?”, Bella hugged her friend; but, leaned in very quickly to whisper into Iorwen’s ear.
“ I just pretended to be Skull’s girlfriend for a minute to ward off some blonde, but I’ll do my best.”, and frowning from lack of faith in her acting skills, Bella waited until the said ‘worshipper’ came inside (judging which one she was by the worried look on Iorwen’s face) before planting her mouth on Iorwen’s in something in-between a peck and a deep kiss. Just long enough to stake a claim before holding Iorwen’s hand and playfully laying her head on both Harold’s arm and Iorwen’s shoulder.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:03 am
RETURNMORETOCEN 【Enigma⌒o f⌒freedom】RETURNMORETOCEN
【Unclosing⌒a n⌒unseen⌒d o o r】RETURNMORETOCEN ☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽RETURNMORETOCEN
It was a bit curious, Bella didn't seem to mind the question from her best friend one bit. Io just hoped that it wasn't something that could come back and haunt them in a way. The last thing Iorwen wanted was forcing Bella into something that wasn't wanted or planned or caused under normal circumstances.
“ I just pretended to be Skull’s girlfriend for a minute to ward off some blonde, but I’ll do my best.”
Iorwen found herself giggling at that comment. Harold trouble with a girl? That was unheard of. That and the idea of the guy asking, no begging, Bella for a little aid was a little amusing.
"You're kidding right?" Iorwen asked in a whisper in the middle of her short giggling fit. The young chemistry student took a little glance to the other side of the couch seeing the blonde that Bella was talking about and that made it even clearer that Harold was in a little trouble.
"I don't think it worked." Added the blonde with a tiny little shrug. Hoping that her stalker wasn't as persistent as Harold's and as she turned her gaze to other places in the room she noted said stalker with a tiny silent little groan. This would've been easier if they hadn't had need for it and the girl just gave up. Was she carrying juices? So much for thinking nothing would be in the house in the non alcoholic sense. Iorwen you were rude!
Just as she wanted to sink into the couch she was sitting on she found herself assaulted by Bella. For a moment that what what it felt like, but for even tiny little moment it lasted Iorwen was melting on the inside. That made her regret asking for a faking tour. It just gave the wrong idea. With a light blush on her face Iorwen faced the stalker that had caught up with her. She lightly gulped and settle the sudden string of nerves being played in her stomach. Faking was easier if you didn't actually like the person.
"Oh... Eh... I didn't think you'd find anything when you ran of." Said Iorwen with a tiny guilty voice once Ragina wad close enough to hear her. Iorwen wished the red would go her face. She was blushing like a sixteen year old that just got a confession from a favourite jock.
☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:29 am
Ragina hadn’t even burst through the door long enough to take in a decent breath before looking past the throng and seeing Iorwen and Bella- mid-kiss. Deep down, simply from her hanging with so different a ‘crowd’ than Iorwen did, Ragina didn’t really think that the blonde would like her in a romantic way; but, she hadn’t thought to be snubbed. The woman didn’t even want to wait for Ragina to walk out of the garage before leaving. Even with not expecting anything to happen, being smacked in the face by that kiss stung deeply in her chest. Vicious throbs squeezed inside of the dread-head’s heart as she just froze and squeezed the capri-sun juice pouches just to keep from making a fool of herself and dropping them on the floor. The result was that the woman felt fluid cooling her skin from puncturing one small area of the juice pouch with a fingernail. Don’t lose your cool, don’t show her that she won, be nice and polite as if nothing happened. Ragina wanted to follow that advice, but with water in her eyes that started to redden from irritation, it was difficult to do so without slipping up.
“ Oh…Eh…I didn’t think you’d find anything when you ran off.”, It took a great deal of restraint not to squeeze the juice pouch a little harder. Her face might have contorted in heartbreak a tiny bit more, but it vanished quickly. ‘ Yeah. Right. No; I get it. Whatever. Point gotten!’, if only the girl could give up so easily. She felt defeated and scorned, mortified and humiliated even because her brother knew she liked Iorwen, and had witnessed the scene. However, it didn’t change that she still liked the blonde. It just meant she wouldn’t act on it and make things worse like that obnoxious female who kept staring at the openly gay male. Don’t embarrass youself.
“…Its not that important. ”, Raising her hand in a ‘don’t worry about it’ playful way that was more graciously given than she felt. Unsure what else to do, the girl started to leave the room. If her bedroom wasn’t being stolen away by some couple, she planned on hiding in there for the remainder of the party. Not brave enough to look at the brunette or Iorwen for that matter, Ragina disappeared as quickly as she could, leaving the pouches in her hand like a pencil left behind the ear for too long.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 3:50 am
When the kiss ended there was a cold texture in the air that broke through the visage like a thunderclap. Bella had just been trying to make the kiss as convincing as possible against another ‘sex addicted pixie’ when she pressed her mouth to Iorwen’s, but it didn’t take longer than a few seconds for Bella to see the look of pain on a dreadlock girl’s face. The girl wasn’t a snob who couldn’t take a hint, and the look of pain was gut-wrenching. Now look what you did! Are you trying to hurt everybody? Bella couldn’t tear her eyes away from the other girl’s pain-ridden face to see the blush that briefly overshadowed Iorwen’s face. Frozen, from guilt and self-loathing if nothing else, Bella turned towards Harold looking from some form of support or sign of emotion, and for some strange reason there was a similar look of heartbreak underlining his facial features. A curved blade pressing more deeply into her heart for hurting a friend instead of a stranger, Bella tore her eyes away and suddenly forgot why they came to this party in the first place.
“ Oh…Eh…I didn’t think you’d find anything when you ran off…”, The girl stuttered some reply with water drowning her voice and Bella felt her own eyes begin to glaze. She was partially responsible for that look on the stranger’s face, and Bella couldn’t help but feel horrible. Harold started to turn, to perhaps leave the room himself, but Bella grabbed his hand without thinking it through. She had hurt enough people today, and even though she hated what Harold had done, before he went psychotic he was a nice person and they were semi-good friends. Right now she was the only one Harold could even talk to that would waste the time to try and help him wean off of his addiction to Lithium. But perhaps it was more selfish than that, because there was a strong p***k in her chest when she saw Harold’s eyes, like losing him and Casey would be too much for her to bear. Whatever his reaction, Bella had her eyes lowered, and it took leaning over for the man to mutter something gently into her ear to gain her attention.
“ Bill can I talk to you?”, There wasn’t any venom in Harold’s voice, which made the question worse. Raising her head to try and pin Iorwen a pleading glance, Bella let herself be led away to a quiet corner (or closet since no corners were available in any of the downstairs rooms) with the guilt of the kiss still smeared across her face. It wasn’t Iorwen’s fault either, she wasn’t the kind of person to be vindictive; but, at the same time just sharing eye contact made Bella feel worse about herself, and she had a hard time looking into Io’s eyes as she willingly walked away.
A half hour later Bella and Harold inadvertently got lost in the crowd, so Bella used her cellphone to try and find Iorwen.
Ring…ring… The second that Bella even thought that she heard a response on the other end, she closed her eyes and spoke into the phone. Pretending that her voice was not as watery as it was.
“ Hey Io…I got lost on my way back from the bathroom, but…I’m feeling really sick, and if its okay with you, Harold is going to take me or both of us home...”, Bella smiled as she tried to tiptoe down the carpeted stairs towards the exit, Skull holding onto her other forearm just in case she showed signs of stumbling.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:35 am
RETURNMORETOCEN 【Enigma⌒o f⌒freedom】RETURNMORETOCEN
【Unclosing⌒a n⌒unseen⌒d o o r】RETURNMORETOCEN ☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽RETURNMORETOCEN
“…Its not that important. ”
The girl looked awful, completely beaten and Iorwen felt suddenly guilty for asking Bella what she did only mere seconds ago. feeling somewhat a cold shiver in her own spine from her own seeming cruelness she could only watch the girl scurry away. For second she just sat there not really thinking, just experiencing and finding herself more enticed then she had ever been and at the same time awful.
After a while she turned her eyes to Iorwen trying to see Bella's reaction, but before she could harold had already taken her away to other regions. There she was alone the couch having just rejected a person in the harshest way she could've imagined ever doing. It was awkward feeling the way she did. She always thought she had the best intentions and just now in a short panic and a searching for a too quick solution she just found the worst way.
You could've just told her not to stress out like that. She deserves a fair chance... Belle doesn't even give you a second glance.
Being scolded by her own mind was nothing new, but this was something she didn't want to hear even from herself. She was just trying, really trying to give the girl space to think, live breathe. She was going through hell and an emotional roller-coaster, she didn't need the explicit knowledge that the blonde was after her. So Iorwen had picked the next best thing a mediator and a pillar, but did that really work? Wasn't she just being to friendly and being ran past by those two males that she had been around for too long.
This must be the most ******** upped triangle ever...
For a second she glance to her side and she found herself staring at a newly formed drunk couple. Ugh! Why had she suggested this begin with? Then the phone saved her from her own thoughts and she picked it up hearing Bella on the other side and she smiled. At least as friends it worked good enough. If Iorwen really had to she could settle for that, but for now... The lady was still a single...
"It's okay... Could wait for me? I'm going too..." She paused for a second and then finished. "I'll see you outside." The phone call was over and Iorwen didn't wait to get the hell out of there. Even making it to the car faster then the other two by mere coincidence. The drive was silent because Iorwen still didn't trust Harold one bit and didn't need his nose in her business. By the time they got home Iorwen didn't find the space or guts to talk to Bella and before long both of them were sleeping of a weird and somewhat rough evening.
☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:37 am
 Casey was a little devastated in the few days he didn't see Bella and he had the utmost trouble to come to terms with the fact that she was actually pregnant. When he did get through that he still had settle his mind on the possibility that the little wretched demon Harold might be the father. If there was anything that Casey really didn't want was that to be the truth. He could bear it better if it was a spawn of his jealous stupidity instead of the spawn of Harold's sick jealousy vengeance. The whole situation left Casey digging up the memories of his night together with Bella and the whole prelude to it. To say that only a sick grin on Einian's face had triggered Casey to drag Bella upstairs into the safety of his room so he couldn't feel angry about the possibility of somebody, anybody stealing his Bella. Of course she had asked an explanation and fuelled by alcohol it just turned to kisses and kisses kindled the fire. The fire burned the hands and the hands did the worst of it all. There was too little hesitation that night to think that there was nothing suppressed was coming out. To say that he had been going down the same road just barely a week before. Bella really had to start closing her window.
The morning after that party Casey hadn't even known about, he had grabbed enough guts together to take some sort of action that he felt was good. He knew they couldn't start over, that they couldn't pretend nothing had happened, but still... He'd try to at least pretend for a while and maybe, just maybe that would help a friendship that was dear to him. Maybe he could even get back to that same innocent way of hugging Bella. He hadn't taken the time to eat anything and that would be for the better if only she reacted the way he hoped she would. All he needed was somebody to answer his knocks... preferably Bella.
Perhaps his wishes were heard, perhaps not, but it was Bella that opened the door, her initial reaction being an attempt to close the door, one Casey tried to halt, but before either action could really come to a stop or result they ended. Like Bella had decided it was best not to just close the door. For a second the ravenhead simply stared at the brunette feeling just uncomfortable. Then he sighed and decided to make the best of his story.
"I've done too much damage to just say sorry... It doesn't... exactly help more than adding wood to a fire you don't want."
Casey swallowed tightly, trying to relax himself turning his eyes to the ground in some sort of shame.
"I miss you Bella... I miss our friendship and just being silly with cartoons and... I think you miss that to." He tried looking at Bella if she wasn't frowning to hard at what he was saying.
"So would you mind sharing this morning with me, cartoons and cereal?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:15 am
Bella couldn’t speak as she drove the car homeward bound. Her thoughts were far too muddled and confused; and the pang in her heart from so many different reasons all collided into one large gaping wound in her chest. Iorwen was given her the space to think and being a perfect angel, and she could only pray that Iorwen would keep the car quiet for the rest of the night. That is…if Bella didn’t start to cry first and force the blonde to ask what was wrong. ‘ Even if she asks I couldn’t say.’ She would state the obvious of course: feeling bad for hurting the girl’s feelings and hurting Harold; but…that was only half the problem, and not the one that shook the pregnant woman to her emotional core.
“ How can you not understand Bella……I love you.”, Even if you didn’t feel the same way about a person, wasn’t hearing that phrase supposed to feel at least a little nice or flattering? It wasn’t even that Harold had ‘mumbled’ that when he…did unspeakable things the night he pretended to be Casey. If it had been bullshit, she could have just socked him in the face and been over with trying to be his friend, but…Harold had looked so hurt by the kiss, avoiding her questions in the bathroom when she asked what was wrong before hastily blundering it out. Even that, hadn’t hurt so badly. Perhaps some part of her heart knew that Harold felt that way, that he wasn’t all evil inside; but…what hurt the most was how sure he was when he said it. Even if it was spoken with a tone, he knew what he felt and acted on it and…
Casey isn’t sure of anything. Of course Harold hadn’t meant to tell her then, or like that even, if he planned on saying it while she was so upset; but, it was still a smack to the face. From her own hand too, as all reminders generally were. God you’re so pathetic. Don’t date anyone if you don’t want to, but don’t alienate yourself to wait for someone who isn’t going to make up his mind in your favor. He said he wanted to fix things, tried, and we both know how that turned out. He bolted strait for the door. Obviously he’s going to figure out that its better to just stay friends and you know that… Shaking her head, as if in denial of her own thoughts, Harold had seen her shake her head and thought that she was gesturing that she couldn’t believe him. With Casey distrusting every word that fell from his mouth the other day, his confidence was shattered. Pain constricted his face, and before Bella could protest his hands were under her chin, his body slouching to try and share eye contact. Both parties stared at each other through tear-filled eyes, and Bella felt her face tighten in pain as she saw him move forward to kiss her.
Bella was honestly surprised that he stopped; but grateful nonetheless. Held in Harold’s arms as she slightly sat up upon the counter, Bella felt so shamefully soothed by the warmth emanating from his body. Tender embraces were things she used to share with Casey, and it had been so difficult trying to live without them. Enjoying how nice it felt to be held by someone else felt like the bitterest betrayal and perhaps Harold knew that, because he squeezed her as if she was an oversized teddy bear. With her eyes closed, if only to keep any acid from falling down her cheeks, Bella could feel Harold shaking his head side to side against her neck and gasped to keep from experiencing the rush of tingles spreading through her body from his breath against her shoulder.
“ I mean it.”, Harold whispered so loudly in her ear that Bella wasn’t sure if he caressed it or growled the phrase like a cornered animal. The hurt still lingered in his voice, and the strange pain in her chest from hurting him felt so wonderfully endearing that the pleasure of feeling tenderness to try and soothe his suffering was another stab into her chest. Another reminder that he was sure, and Casey wasn’t. With being his friend long enough to feel some soft patters of affection because he found her good enough to fall for, Bella did everything in her power to escape from basking in the joy of her heartstrings being tugged; but, it was no use. Her heart was so used to battering itself over and over that the sweet nectar or someone showing her affection was too much goodness to turn away. Like a dehydrated man refusing water, Bella just couldn’t help but fold her arms around Harold and squeeze him. She didn’t even care that she could still remember the smell of Casey’s cologne when he sprayed it on his neck that night. She was too hurt to care at this point, and Harold was too hurt to pull away either.
“ I mean it.” , Another dagger; Bella’s eyes clamped shut in pain and she squeezed him in her arms like a crab pincher. Harold, thinking that the strength in her arms was birthed from her trying so hard to believe him and being unable to, Harold squeezed her back a little harder and pressed his mouth right against her ear as if the extra volume in his voice would make her believe him. Knowing those blissful/devastating words were going to flutter from his lips, Bella let out a gentle sob as if to gather air before going underwater.
“ I mean it Bella.”, ‘ Stop it…stop it please…’, Another quiet, pleading, sob broke through her throat as Bella gasped and let the tears cascade down her face. Harold must have felt the tear as he raised his head from her shoulder because of the sound of the watery sob; as the evidence still glistened upon his cheek.
“ I mean it Bill.”, Hearing Harold say that name felt so wonderfully freeing that she involuntarily stabbed her heart from the guilt of how good it felt. He didn’t call her Bella, like the world did, and he didn’t call her Billy, which would remind him of Casey. Harold had been the only person she told that one, special, part of herself to…even if it was because she didn’t think he would care, that she wouldn’t see some meaningless person who had a crush on Casey after that party. When they got to be semi good friends while him and Casey were together she learned enough about him to know he wouldn’t spill the beans to anyone, if he hadn’t completely forgotten the conversation entirely. But him saying what Bella felt to be her real name deep down, with that ‘I want to be with you’ pleading in his eyes was so wonderfully devastating more than any other phrase. If she didn’t think he meant it before, she knew now. The scattered sobs turning into full-on weeping, Harold turned to get some toilet paper, Kleenex, whatever was closer to help wipe away tears when Bella grabbed his face…and kissed him hard on the mouth.
For it being a salty kiss, the sensation was like pop rocks on the tongue and her whole body became inflamed and electrified. Even a faint memory was enough for her body to remember what it felt like to be under him, and her heart began to flutter as her blood began to boil. Harold tried to stop the kiss with his hands gently trying to pull her chin away from his mouth, but as every other part of the man desperately wanted to keep kissing her, he reluctantly surrendered and hungrily swallowed her mouth while trying to keep enough semblance of control over his loins. Fingers toying through his hair, Bella closed her eyes and realized just how differently Harold and Casey smelled. For a moment she thought that she would think of Casey if she kissed Harold, because of their hair looking more alike and them being of similar build and height; but…he smelled different. Tasted different…and certainly felt different.
Being kissed by someone who knew they wanted to kiss you was invigorating, mystifying, and indescribably satisfying. But after a while Harold started to try and slow the speed of his lips caress, and she knew subconsciously that he was trying to slowly end the kiss. ‘ No don’t!’, Bella pleaded in her head. She had been led on, by herself or other people, for so long to receive hurt or nothing in return for so long that she couldn’t bear the idea of Harold stopping. Of him saying ‘I can’t do this’, and without thinking Bella tried to wrap her legs around him (as she had been set on the sink counter at one point) and hold him close. Still feeling water touch down her face, Bella just saw Harold start to move his lips and her heart panicked and Bella hyperventilated once before hastily gasping something so quickly that she wasn’t even sure what she said before Harold stopped dead in his tracks, froze, and stared at her with hurt and longing in his eyes.
“ What?...”, Harold looked so hurt and pleading that the phrase spilled out of her mouth again as if she was on autopilot.
xxx “ I love you.”, Bella gasped, and they both mutually stared and panted in shock. As if the dust had yet to clear.
‘ What the hell did you just say?’, Bella’s mind finally registered what she said and it was not too happy at hearing something so unbelievable just fall from her lips. How callous of you! Lying just so he doesn’t go! That’s the most selfish thing you’ve ever done! But Bella didn’t feel guilty, she still felt frozen in space and time as if her body wasn’t quite back to normal after feeling an earthquake. The insult did help her feel more grounded; but, not in the way that her mind had imagined. She didn’t feel guilty because she hadn’t lied, and this was shocking enough for her mind to try and gauge her sanity. This is worse than Casey ever would have done to- Unable to take the insults, but not really paying attention to them anyway, Bella continued to steadily breathe as she kept staring into Harold’s eyes. ‘ I love him.’, Bella blinked in disbelief of her own feelings. ‘ I’m not lying…I love him.’
In mutual shock, Skull didn’t know what to do besides stand there and keep watching Bella’s face for signs of deception. Harold wasn’t sure if he could handle it if Bella was lying, but even though he didn’t see any signs of untruth on her face, he kept waiting for the: ‘I can’t believe you bought that’ to fall from Bill’s sarcastic mouth. It still hadn’t come, and Harold’s hands began to tremble in anxiety of what was to come. Of course, Harold didn’t expect to see Bella raise her hands under his chin and kiss him again. Mumble the words: I mean it against his lips and thereby mutilate his ability to remain composed. It being Harold’s turn to sputter like a sprinkler, the pierced man frantically kissed Bella back as if the moment could end at any moment.
But it didn’t…and in fact, there came a point when Bella was uncomfortably pinched against the faucet of the sink from Harold’s body pressing so strongly against her. Arms around each other, fingers running through each other’s hair, Bella nearly lost herself in this weeping, overjoyed, feeling she had not felt in so long that she gave up hope of feeling pure bliss again. As horrible as it was that it was Harold she was kissing, the same person who drove her into the ground and stomped on her, it seemed her heart had completely forgotten about it. She felt so happy, and she hadn’t felt completely happy in so long that it was a foreign feeling and she was unsure how to behave while feeling it. She didn’t know how strongly she loved Harold, if it was more than Casey or not, or how long it had been there; but, she knew she did. She knew she loved someone who loved her back so much.
In the few minutes of losing herself in kissing Harold, she didn’t kiss him or touch him and imagine Casey. She thought of Harold and she still wanted to part her thighs and make love to him. No casual thing, no ‘getting back at this person’, nothing that would...that anyone would regret later. Gasping a shuddering sound from how sensitive certain areas of her skin were to his touch, Bella begged, pleaded, and drew Harold in with every device she could use without words until she finally whispered please and he stood near enough to keep kissing her forever and make love to her as much as she planned on making love to him. This felt so wonderful and beautiful, if possible even more right than the night with casey simply because she wasn’t intoxicated when making this decision.
And just when she could feel his warmth between her thighs it was that exact thought that scattered through her brain. Casey. Her Casey. What the hell are you doing!?! Bella broke out in sobs, deep; guttural, sobs. How could you do this to Casey!? Don’t you care about his feelings!? Harold cupped her face and she could see the pain on his face from seeing her look so hurt and distraught. ‘ Of course I care! Damn you for saying I don’t!’, Bella had wanted to make love to Harold so badly, and she still did; but, she couldn’t. Not without feeling guilty for what Casey might think and those kinds of thoughts would only break her heart because it wouldn’t be giving Harold her everything like it had been before. She could do everything but the most important thing. She wasn’t ready, she wasn’t over Casey, and she couldn’t make herself go farther no matter how much she wished she could.
“ Harold I love you,”, Bella’s voice was so thick with fluid that she gagged on the words she tried to say. Trying to voice how she couldn’t make love to him made her realize how Harold might take it. He might think she didn’t love him, and Bella’s heart couldn’t handle the thought, and broke. Gasping, pleading, she kissed him hard on the mouth as if they hadn’t stopped; before parting the kiss and looking up at him with tender eyes.
“ But I feel so sick…so sick…I just want to go home and sleep…and not ruin this….Us… with throw-up; okay?”, Bella let out a chuckle because she wasn’t lying about that either, and Harold softly kissed her before stroking his thumb against her cheek to wipe away tears as they fell. Like trying to stop a waterfall, his thumb did little good of clearing away all the water.
xxx“ Then let’s get you home Bill.”, Bella sobbed just once for an entirely different reason. Harold needed to stop, because he was being too perfect. It made her feel so wonderful and special and it made her feel more guilty than she had felt before. She wanted to give her whole self to him more and more, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t go too far, and hurt him more than he ever hurt her. She wouldn’t stoop to the level he had been when he was having his drug problems. Well, ‘on’ the drugs that he still had trouble not taking. Harold helped her put on make-up and comb her hair enough to not give suspicion before letting her rest against him while he brushed his own hair. When the left the bathroom she called Io, and here she was, sitting in the car trying not to break down in front of someone she admired and respected so much. Iorwen was here for her so much, and there was no way she was going to be able to repay her for that.
Planning on going strait to bed without crashing down and spilling everything to her blonde companion, Bella had rushed for the doorknob first to try and get to the ‘safe point’ like ‘tag’ when she looked up and saw Casey’s face. At first she thought it was her own imagination, and her heart throbbed painfully in her chest. However, when she knew he couldn’t have been a specter, Bella gasped and started to close the door when she realized what she was doing. Her heart still fluttered at the idea of Casey being here. Surely he had something important to say? Something he thought she needed to hear? Her heart couldn’t say no to that…not after tonight…not after what she gave up to give Casey another chance. Fearfully opening the door, Bella let out a sigh and walked into the room. Worst came to worst Iorwen was here. She could compose herself with Io here. She had to. Unable to speak without giving her heartache away, Bella just waited in awkward silence until he spoke.
“I’ve done too much damage to just say sorry…it doesn’t…exactly help more than adding wood to a fire you don’t want.”, Bella swallowed when he did, her eyes on the ground as well. As much as she wanted him to say he was sorry, even if he did it wouldn’t change anything. She already knew he was sorry, she knew him, and so she was grateful just to hear whatever was on his mind at the moment. Her breath hanging on the edge of a knife as her blindfolded heart lay sitting under the gallows, knowing without knowing exactly what the future held. Still, Bella had felt so hopeful at Casey even being here in the house that she kept standing here waiting for him to get to the point.
“ I miss you Bella…”, Bella half scoffed half chuckled because that was pretty obvious. She missed Casey like crazy too, and he would be blink not to see it. Even still, she started to hope again when-
“I miss our friendship”, the inevitable pain stabbed into her chest, but for some reason she was more prepared for the destruction. Perhaps she had just been beaten too much to show how badly her heart throbbed and panged from hearing that. Even still, Bella kept hoping and listening.
“ and just being silly with cartoons and…I think you miss that to.”, Bella thought she saw Casey trying to make eye contact and her heart panicked in her chest. Anything, anything in the whole world would have been better than Casey looking her dead in the eyes right now. Seeing the minimal evidence of tears on her face that resulted in the inability to cry right now from slight dehydration. Of course she missed that, but it was part of just missing him in general. Cartoons weren’t the same without Casey, but…she kept listening a little longer, hoping a little longer for something else to come out of his mouth.
“ So would you mind sharing this morning with me, cartoons and cereal?” As nice as Casey sounded, that somehow made the screaming in her heart hurt even worse. It was as if her heart was laughing, or her brain was laughing, either of the two. Maybe even both, but all laughed out of shame, anguish, remorse, and finality. How many times have I told you that you’re an idiot?! Seriously, how many times? Shall we count them? Her mind started to skip to numbers in the thousands just to rub her face in this moment. All this time you kept waiting and waiting for him…and what does he want at the end of the day? Cartoons. He wants a friend, or a sister, and you were dead right earlier! He would feel foolish about the kitchen escapade. You shouldn’t have stopped earlier, waiting for nothing wasn’t worth it! Bella’s face momentarily tightened in thought, looking more normal than the screaming in her mind made her feel. ‘ Stop it.’ Why? Did you honestly spend nights lying awake thinking about cereal?’ Bella’s eyebrows furrowed together for the briefest of seconds. ‘ Stop it!’
Unable to open up to Casey anymore because what she felt was mostly one sided and friends didn’t talk about romantic feelings, Bella felt trapped and drained. ‘ If…if cartoons are all he wants, then that’s all I have to give.’, Staying unbearably silent for the longest time, never looking Casey in the eye, the woman looked like she was about to break out in tears before her reddish eyes seemed to withdraw fluid and Bella let out a little scoff-like snort. Wacking him with a nearby magazine that she rolled up to hit his shoulder with a slightly stronger ‘bat’.
“ Its not morning yet you nitwit.”, Bella laughed and shook her head at the most pathetic best friend in the world. Shaking her head like he was an adorable child.
“ We were all at a party…and I’m actually home because I feel like I’m going to throw up…so I’m going to go to bed…and we’ll rain-check ‘til the morning? Only cartoons on now are anime porn.”, Bella thought that joke was hilarious as she walked towards her bedroom and sent Casey a sweet smile and a wave before closing her door and locking it as quietly as possible. Finally…finally alone and free to ponder her thoughts without fear of discovery; Bella curled up into a ball near her door and soundlessly wept dry tears against her knees. For once her brain wasn’t angry or condescending, it was silent. Silent because, for once, she was the one doing all the talking and decision making.
‘ God…how can I be so stupid?’ , Bella closed her eyes in shame after using a book on the ground to turn off the light switch. ‘ I love you so much Casey but I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t do ‘ring around the rosey’ running through all these hoops of yes, no, maybe-so.’ She had waited so long for Casey to be sure of himself, to want her most above everything else, and that just wasn’t going to happen. First he was distant, never called, which made her feel like a mistake because a part of her believed that if she hadn’t come back for school he never would have called…and then he was with Skull, and quite happily so for a while there, and then that stupid kiss in the kitchen last week made her feel like he really wanted her and now…he wanted a friend. ‘ He just…did that…cause he didn’t want to lose me. Not cause…not cause he loves me more than himself.’ Broken on so many levels, Bella wished she could shed actual tears, because the pain in her eyes was phenomenal. It was dark moments like this when she thought about the flier advertising abortion. She never would of course, but this was one of the times when it felt good to think about it. She could just take care of the problem, move away, and never have to face anyone again. Anyone being: Casey.
Her heart, which had remained silent during her painful reverie, finally spoke up when Bella’s thoughts quieted down. You know he just takes a while to make up his mind…Bella snarled against her leg. Having used that same excuse for months to cover up his behavior and hope for the best, she just couldn’t hear that reason without feeling a knife jab into her chest. ‘ I’ve tried so hard not to lose faith in him, to give up, and I’m glad I didn’t. He’s here, he wants to be my friend, he doesn’t want to disregard me like I used to be afraid of.’ That would have to be enough…to give her the strength to heal…and move on.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 1:24 am
It was weird watching Bella make up her mind like that, but it didn't seem like she was really going to let him beyond the wall she had been putting him before for months already. If only he had approached her again sooner. If only he wasn't such a doubtful little t**t around her. He felt like he was stepping around a minefield and every step he took ahead he added mines from himself and by himself. By now he felt like he had done so much damge to them - to him and Bella- that she was no fixing this unless it was done slowly and not in a hurry like last. Like the day he pretty much asaulted her in the kitchen.
She didn't stop you you know...
Yes, but I ran out on her and then Harold had one of his 'talks'... God only knows how many of those he's been training on her. She must hate me, because I didn't manage to beat the painted man to her.
All the reasons that he felt like he could only be her friend now were somehow rooted with Harold. Whether the male had been faster than the doubtful friend of Billy-Bee or just had to explain everything his way, they all became a reason why Casey felt like slowing down. If he took another quick jump he might just wind up with the same result like last time. Then caught red handed and he running like a damn sissy simply because he wasn't ready to admit that he actually loved Bella more than himself. Because in a way he still wasn't over the real Harold.
For a minute he was expecting her to yell and chase him away, but as a matter of fact... Her gianormous thick wall was doing a good enough job at bringing out that message. Casey could only wonder if she still remembered the sincerity he had tried to give her when finally getting over himself. It was a true relief once she took a magazine to bat him. For just a few seconds she managed to make it look like he hadn't stampeded over her heart.
“ Its not morning yet you nitwit.”
Casey gave her a goofy smile. Maybe he should've waited for another hour before coming here and he simply shrugged, because that was the only defense he could muster. Right now Casey found that Bella had every right to bat him around and tell him how stupid he is or was.
“ We were all at a party…and I’m actually home because I feel like I’m going to throw up…so I’m going to go to bed…and we’ll rain-check ‘til the morning? Only cartoons on now are anime porn.”
Wait... Hold on! Don't go yet! For a few seconds Casey had felt as if there was finally a hole in her wall, but apparently not. Instead she just gave him a note and before he could do much to stop her, she just walked to the safety of her room. Casey followed her, lingering before the door and contemplating if it was a good idea to invade again.
"You're driving me mad... Like I can't do a thing right anymore..."
His words were but a whisper, perhaps loud enough to cary past the closed door. She drove him mad alright. Mad with doubts and other things. For a while his hand lingered of the door knob, but then he decided against it and turned towards the living room, passing the kitchen. There he just stayed a little while as well, remembering what it felt like to give into her without alcohol messing them up even a little. It had been better...
Shaking his head to get himself out of his mind for the zillionth time he wandered on into the living room, let himself fall onto the couch and he tried to take a nap. Due to rolling around he simply wound up face down on the pillow with his mouth half open close to drooling after a fewhours of that little nap.
The confused male just looked like an adorable teddybear at that point, with fluffy hair and an oversized sweater.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 5:58 am
[Skully skully skully...what are we to do with you? *tsk*]When Bella and Harold left the bathroom, perhaps they both felt strange, exhilarated, and nauseous. Like being dusted with magical powder, Skull wasn’t entirely sure what he was feeling. He felt numb when he led Bella down the stairs, even if the powder sparkling about inside of his chest was more pleasant than depressive. Watching Bella clutching her phone, Skull let his head turn to drift his attention on anything and everything just to avoid his face being seen by Bella.
Just a few minutes before Harold had been more sure of himself, life, everything, and then they left the bathroom and it felt like the godmother magic had ended at midnight. How long had they been in the bathroom? Thirty minutes? Skull wasn’t sure, and frankly he didn’t care. She didn’t want to, and you know why, the voice in his head piped up, and Harold’s jaw tightened as the nausea increased. He didn’t need to know what happened to see that look in her eye push through the love she had been showing him. He didn’t doubt Bella’s words, even though he was still mystified by them. He was more perturbed because there was still a tender pain stabbing his chest at seeing her slight withdrawal.
Bella still panged for Casey, whether she wanted to pursue him or not, those feelings weren’t going to simply vanish because she loved someone else too. Sadly, Harold felt much the same way. Perhaps that was the reason for feeling blasted with a numbing powder. Harold hadn’t considered anyone else when he was with Bella, and if not for her pausing their moment from not feeling well, he would have remained unaware of his own pain for long enough to feel heaven shine.
Harold, I don’t think it matters anymore, Casey’s voice echoed into his head and Harold felt a sting in his chest. Oddly enough, the pain didn’t feel like he caused it himself. Fang, the nickname of his younger brother Richard, battered snide comments into his heart whenever he was most vulnerable or homesick. That was their relationship of course, vicious; brutal, hatred. How could you have feelings for Bella!? That voice had been screaming into his ear for so long that he couldn’t remember when the comment started. Heh, I get why you wanna ******** the porky c**-bucket, brother. She looks just like Emily. But an even better Emily. Harold didn’t mean to be short, not kiss Bella goodnight like he wanted to before leaving the party in a hurry. His entire body as rigid and white, pale and close to shaking.
You’d be put in jail for ******** Emily, but of course, you don’t really care about that. I don’t either. If it meant hearing her scream…watching her little eyes water as she cried, it would all be worth it. Harold kept walking to his car and hurried inside of it; slamming the door in a pissed off flush. Clamping his hands over his ears and squeezing, Skull couldn’t block out the noise of the comment that drove him into psychotic rages.
She sounded just like Emily, didn’t she? Was it was wonderful as you thought it would be? The devastation on her face when the light flickered on? Harold dropped his hands to try and strangle himself, giving up when the force of the pain overpowered his guilt to punish himself. ‘ No.’ Skull locked his car doors and slammed his eyes shut in shame. Ashamed because it had been…so much better than any fleeting sexual fantasies that his twisted mind had randomly thought of every once in a blue moon since meeting Bella. Of course Harold knew who she looked like, hated the person she resembled, and subconsciously wished to give her pain; but, he hated himself for not feeling ashamed for his feelings.
I know why your c**k swelled for the girl’s body when you and your precious Casey were in the car together. Skull’s jaw tightened and he bit down on his lip as his pupils dilated. There’s nothing quite like punishing our sister; is there? ******** Casey just wasn’t enough for you after that. Skull hated his brother now more than he ever had in the past. Contrary to what this disturbing collection of phrases could convey, Harold had never…ever…touched his sister in an inappropriate way. In fact, Harold couldn’t remember touching his sister in even a cordial ‘hand-shake’ way. But he did loathe his sister with a passion as strong as any love he ever felt.
Richard knew the truth…because he hated Emily too. Never speaking about his past beyond simple ‘details’ on purpose, Skull didn’t have as much to hide as he thought he had to. Harold was the eldest son of seven brothers, Richard being the second eldest. Regardless of his father being highly successful as an inventory/engineer for a high-rate company, and his mother being an infamous real estate agent, the boy didn’t care very much about having a lot of toys as a child. His parents were never around when he was little, and when his parents were home, they were trying for another baby. Trying for a girl, so it was. Living in a house built on metal stilts fifteen stories above the ground, Harold hadn’t even leave the house to play outside unless his mother approved the ‘nanny’ taking the children outside to do so. When he was eight years old, his mother gave birth to that long awaited daughter, and him and Richard just disappeared into the background. The girl was favored and given the preference in all things, right or wrong, to the point where Harold, Richard, and one or another of the boys spent so much time being pushed around that shout-matches began.
Harold spent so much time yelling and never being heard, of just being told ‘HAROLD KEMPT YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO SCREAM AT YOUR SISTER’ that he grew weary of his own name. He began to hate his parents, hate his brothers, and show signs of a psychotic disorder. Lying to Casey to hide his history was the worst of his remembrance of their awful argument. Lying that he only recently found out about his ‘bi-polar disorder’ had been despicable, but he couldn’t admit to someone he genuinely cared about that he was a disturbed monster not worth caring about. Don’t feel bad about lying Skull, no one would love you if you didn’t. Harold gritted his teeth. ‘ Except Bella.’
The sick and twisted irony was disturbingly morbid.
‘Did you really tell her everything?’, Harold started to raise his hand to start the car, but his brain knew that driving would not rid the conversation from passing through his head for the thousandth time this week. ‘ She doesn’t know about Emily.’Well, she didn’t know how much he hated Emily. How much the majority of his family couldn’t stand her, and the things him and his fairly younger brother used to do and talk about.
Bella knew he used to be one of the worst boys in town, came from a wealthy family, suffered from psychotic attacks, and didn’t want women sexually; but, that was only mostly true. He did hate women sexually, but mostly because of what thinking about woman made him fantasize about. Awful, horrible things, and most women could never have satisfied his twisted mind. Just the idea of it made him sick, like that blonde who persisted to stalk him. If that blonde knew his fantasies, he had the feeling she would go for it, and that sheer thought made him disgusted and forced whatever erection he may have been smoldering to disappear. There was nothing pleasant at the idea of a willing woman, with the one exception being Bella. ‘But then again, Bella isn’t really a girl in her head.’, Richard would laugh, and Skull could hear the laughter ringing in his head. Knew that the conversation, taunts, curses, would grow worse and worse…and he promised Bella that he wouldn’t take any more Lithium. She had made him throw it out, and stuck with the choice between driving home…and raiding his room-mate’s stash, or going to Bella’s house, Harold turned on the car and made a u-turn towards her shared house.
Glancing at the clock by the steering wheel, the man’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘ Four fifty? I havn’t been in the car that long…’ Of course he –no they- hadn’t. What Bella assumed had been thirty minutes had just been the length of time it took to calm Harold down enough to finally spill why he was upset about the kiss with Iorwen. Another hour talking and confessing to near-love making and voila, time flew by. How long had Iorwen been looking for them anyway? Skull turned the car around the corner with a smirk to the corner of his mouth. He honestly didn’t give a ******** about the blonde if she was jealous, Bella had obviously chosen him, and she had just been too slow.
Criticizing himself for thinking so dark, the thought of his Billy brought a smile to his heart even though he was too grim for one to appear on his face. Just remembering the truth in her eyes when she told him she loved him was enough for him to wait for her. While he did feel horrible heartbreak at the sheer remembrance of Casey’s pissed off face, the joy he felt at seeing her eyes water up after knowing what a mess he was. ‘ Casey who Fang?’ Harold thought with a grin even though the pain still subtly panged inside his chest. Ignoring the echo, Harold had been about to turn the car on Bella’s street when…speak of the devil…Casey’s car sped down the road first.
“ What the ******** style="color: black">”, Harold raised a curious eyebrow and ‘inched’ the car forward to see the car pull up in front of Bella and Iorwen’s house. ‘ That ******** b*****d!’, The thought inspired by nothing but bitter jealousy, Skull drove forward through a back road and climbed out of his car. Locking the doors before slamming his door shut, Harold peeked over the fence and let out a sigh because he couldn’t see anything. Which was perhaps a good thing, since if he did see something then he had a window to climb in and a face to pummel.
His heart pounding from needles stabbing his heart over and over, Skull waited not a minute longer once Bella’s light came on to soundlessly hop the fence and rush to her open window. Only meaning to look inside, see if she was okay and leave, the once painted male was quite surprised to feel soft hands cloak his cheeks and a mouth clamp tightly over his mouth. Tasting the same soft texture and flavor and knowing it wasn’t anyone besides Bella, Skull tried to cup her Juliet chin back in a passionate response before the kiss pulled apart and she pressed her forehead against his own.
“ I knew you’d be here.”, Bella sounded so happy, and yet there was deep water clouding her voice. The same watery voice she had earlier in the evening, except much less optimistic. A forlorn sadness that his masculine instinct demanded him to comfort away and soothe. Hurt like a pinched nerve in his chest because of her sorrow, Skull wasted no time in silently tapping his foot onto a pipe and crawling into the window. Bella only had the lamp lit, and if not for him being here every other night in secret to just sleep, his brain might have been reminded of the…other occasion in which the lamp had shined its light. Once the window was gently closed, Harold could no longer restrain himself.
“ Bella, what’s wro-”, The brunette squeezed her arms around him and buried her nose into his chest before he could get the question out. Feeling a girl nuzzling her nose helplessly against his chest like she needed the affection felt so endearing to him, but he could not allow her to win him over with touches and snuggles. She sounded hurt, and he needed to reassure her that he did care about the sadness in her voice. Lowering his chin to glance at her, Harold stroked a lock of hair behind her pretty ears and attempted to lower his body so that they shared eye contact. Strangely enough she didn’t shirk away.
“ What’s wrong Bill?”, Harold stroked his fingers through her hair and saw the sweet evidence of tenderness over shine her features for the briefest moment. Looking away then, Bella’s eyes were red from restraining water in the lids. Harold didn’t know she had been sitting on the floor of her room in darkness for twenty minutes.
“ Har-”, He raised an eyebrow at being called his birth name, and Bella tried to chuckle at her mistake, but it sounded choked and watery. Tugging painfully at his heart strings a little more.
“ Skull I…”, She paused to look away and swallow before looking back at him, her eyes catching the lamplight and glistening like a polished diamond.
“ I’m so happy you’re here.”, Skull couldn’t help but squeeze her body tightly to his chest, and her arms squeezed his chest just as powerfully. Nuzzling him close in the way lovers expressed before she nuzzled her nose into his chest and breathed in his scent. Skull, of course, had no idea how hard it was for her to speak to him. But it had to be done, and just when the silence began to drag on, and Harold was going to tenderly ask what was on her mind, she spoke.
“ Skull…I’m so sorry about earlier…”, The once-painted male blinked profusely and backed his body away whilst leaning down to look into her eyes like a mischievous child; Imp-like and cautious in its humor.
“ What ever for Billy?”, The look on Bella’s face when he added that extra syllable was heart-wrenching for both of them. Instantly regretting the ‘y’ he added, Harold could feel a hand viciously squeeze the inside of his chest. Torn apart for ever accidentally bringing the brunette pain, the raven-haired male brushed his fingers gently down her cheek to try and wordlessly apologize. Bella was ever gracious and smiled fakely with her mouth, but genuine with her eyes. Pain-ridden and all, he saw the tenderness and met her gaze with his own sadness. Whatever subject on her mind needed to be voiced, and Harold desperately needed to hear it. How else could he help take the sorrow away? Bella did not seem to understand how he could be so sweet on her for some reason; like she did something horribly wrong.
“ I…I want you Harold, I do.”, There was so much pain and longing in her voice that Skull overlooked the use of his hated name.
“ I know-”, Skull almost interrupted in his efforts to reassure her, and because of his speaking too soon she shook her head to and fro and touched her fingertips to his lips to silence them.
“ No…you don’t understand.”, Skull raised an eyebrow of curiosity, but his heart was painfully throbbing and pounding against his chest in suspense. Had this been some vicious pay-back? No…Bill wouldn’t stoop to my level. but as the possibility snuck its way into Skull’s head, it stayed there until she spoke.
“…I didn’t stop you because I didn’t want to. I did, and I still wish to…be with you but…I still have feelings for Casey…and I didn’t want to risk making love with you and being reminded of him.”, Harold had already guessed this in the bathroom, but hearing him rekindled the unsettling nausea to the point of feeling acid burning the edge of his throat in a flickering ember. Skull and Casey did have a similar body structure, the same lip piercing, among other similarities that Bella had failed to notice when he deceived her. Knowing that Bella might, even in a worst case scenario, think of the wrong man when they were joined, was a difficult pill to swallow…but one he certainly deserved after what he had done. Opening his mouth to speak, Harold wished to say something but could only stomach making a stern ‘nod’. Even with Bella’s watering eyes beginning to tear at the pain she saw on his face that the man was powerless to control.
“ B…but puh…please don’t think that I would…would…” ‘ What? Do the same thing I did to you? Let me repay back the fantasy I used you for so you have all the nights with Casey you can relive in your head?’, Where that vicious thought came from Harold didn’t know, but he blamed his brain condition, hated himself, and then leaned forward with a gentle smile to kiss that ripe, tear-swollen, mouth.
“ Bella…As psychotic as I can be I’m not sad because we didn’t make love earlier. I…I knew, deep down, that you still have feelings for Casey. You’ve known him all your life. I’ve only known him a moment in comparison, and I still have feelings for him too.”, Worried on how Bella might interpret that truth, Harold leaned forward and pressed a deep and gentle kiss to her mouth before she could respond. If he meant to give the impression of stamping a claim, it was only to reassure her that his goals and wishes towards her had not changed.
“ I’ll go to rehab…confess to my psychiatrist about abusing my medica-”, Only then registering the slight ‘past tense’ word in Bella’s confession, Harold leaned his mouth a few more inches away than the ‘scant’ distance he had held before when promising to go to rehab, and looked into her brown eyes.
“ What do you mean ‘didn’t’ want to risk making love?”, Expecting Bella to insist that she mumbled the wrong word, Skull was surprised to see her bite down on her lip, lean up on her tall toes, and re-join their mouths. Harold was willing for the kiss, but thankfully for the pair of them the kiss was as far as they went.
“ Harold…”, At this point Bella seemed not to care about using his real name. They were alone, who could he be embarrassed by for it?
“ I love you so much I can’t breathe…”, Her voice was unintentionally alluring in the way her throat contracted whilst subtly panting for the air she proved she lacked. Skull’s heart began to boil just as strongly as the rest of his body at hearing her speak such perfect words.
“ and I would be lying if I said you’re the last person I expected to feel this way about…not that I expected to fall in love with Casey either…”, Bella seemed to recognize that her watery, breathless, voice was rambling from a wobbly tongue, and she clamped her eyes shut in comical shame. Looking down at the floor afterwards until she began to speak, and her hand raised to grab his own.
“ When I was in the bathroom with you…for so long I wasn’t sure that there was any way I could ever move past this love I feel for Casey…you crushed me in every possible way and I still hoped…but”, Bella’s voice had been joyful, amused, and even optimistically proud before the final but choked a death in her throat. Catching on her own tongue, Bella must have felt the water rushing down her face, because she looked away in ashamed despair. Confused when Harold tried to lovingly wipe the tear away simply from the lack of reliance upon affection. As hard as it was to painfully clamp down on his tongue to keep from interrupting, Harold remained quiet.
“ But the other night he came over, and if Iorwen hadn’t walked in on us I think -”, Skull’s heart was jammed with a cleaver knife at the sheer thought of Casey and Bella together in the kitchen, nearly in flagrante. Tightening his face muscles to hide his pain and appear supportive, Harold painfully struggled to breathe as he waited for her to keep explaining.
“ I think we would have had sex again…”, Suddenly Bella’s face tightened in such torrential pain that water cascaded down her face like an invisible cork had been yanked from the plug. Distraught from seeing his beautiful Bella bawling without sound like a man ashamed of crying stole Harold’s breath away for so many different reasons that his heart seemed to ache and curdle; his stomach tightening in that same desire to rescue his boyfriend. The moment only lasted a heartbeat before Bella spoke again, but she paused to accept the kiss Skull smashed on her whispering lips before gently speaking the conclusions to her inner thoughts.
“ But that’s just it. Its…it would just be sex to him and-”, Harold nearly had the wind knocked out of him, his own knees threatening to collapse under his bodyweight as his heart was ripped out of his throat. The once precious Casey who had been so tenderly his, being spoken of in this way from the other person he loved…with such genuine tears like she truly believed it…Harold couldn’t bear it and he nearly fainted from not expelling air. Not even able to speak without choking on his tongue, Skull had done the only thing he could think to do on instinct to keep his heart from being ripped out in two directions. Skull softly pressed his fingertips against her mouth and held them there as pain contorted the features of his face.
‘ I mean…It was –just sex- wasn’t it?’, Skull could hear his own voice and hopes flash through his brain like it was yesterday, and the once powerful emotions of his love slammed into his heart with them.
‘ Just sex? I thought you knew what that meant!’, Just a few short months ago Skull had been completely devastated by this news, and the stitches in the wound had torn at the seams to rehash them in his head. His darling Bella, that stupid Casey; the both of them complete fools. Bella, for thinking Casey had considered their night nothing, and Casey for being a big enough idiot to let her believe that lie for so long. Regardless of how deeply he had been wounded by Casey in the long-run; waiting so long for him only to discover his true feelings for him lackluster and fleeting. Even if the man was confused as hell, that night had meant something to Casey, even if it wasn’t as important as…
This moment right now.
Bella stopped speaking and hesitated when Harold put his fingertips over her lips; stabbing pain pouring out of her chocolate eyes as she stared into Skull’s face. No doubt Bella could see the brokenness on his face and longed to ask why he looked so pained; but, Skull kept his fingers on her mouth, and his eyes on the floor. ‘ God, I can’t even look at her.’, He would start crying all over the place for the second time this day, and she would know how hard this was for him and make things harder if he saw her compassionate, tender, glances anymore.
They would soothe him, and Skull could not bear to be soothed. Not when Bella was unsure, and believed a lie. He had done that once already, even if he believed it was a truth at the time, he had never corrected it. Unable to do anything more than shake his head back and forth until the hard lump in his throat managed to be swallowed enough to speak, Harold broke. His voice wet as water reddened his eyes and kept him from staring into Bella’s eyes. He would lose all composure and resolve if he gave in to her compassion, and he could not stomach the idea of it.
“ Bella I…I don’t know what’s in his head B…but, he does have feelings for you. He *ccclk* th-that night did mean something to him. It’s been eating him up alive Bella, mostly because I think he has no idea how to understand or act on…how strong he feels. Since we fought, I don’t know if that’s changed; but, he was a drone after you left Bill. You already know that I told him you didn’t want to be friends.”, At first Bella had the expression on her face like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Nay, not couldn’t; but, a pleading beg to nobody that this wouldn’t be true. Looking up, a sneaking glance, told Harold all he needed to know. She had spent so much time putting herself and her affections down as nothing that hearing otherwise was too hard for her to hear without doubt pinching her features. In the end, Harold looked up and all he saw was pain. He didn’t see any hope or gladness at this news, and perhaps that worried Skull most of all. He expected to be slapped, yelled at, or just politely asked to leave…but she just shook her head in that same disbelief that he had done a few moments before.
“ The worst thing I’ve done is spoken something I believed was true and hurt both you and Casey. The rest is entirely my own faults and pride, selfishness, poking through to get what I want but…”, Harold moved his fingers when the sensation that his touch was unwanted made the nausea move all over his body and envelop his skin in gooseflesh.
“ I haven’t manipulated you since I was honest about what happened…and if I said something misleading to Casey, I didn’t mean to in our fight, and anything I would have said was only because of how hurt I was.”, Unaware of whether or not she and Harold had even mentioned or talked about the fight, as he couldn’t remember if Bella had been there or not, Harold glanced away and took a step back with a hurt grimace on his face.
“ I…I don-”, Harold nearly choked on his words again when feminine fingers reached up and snatched at his left hand before he could take another step towards the window. Hurt, if only because he expected another shouting punishment in his ear, Harold purposefully looked as far away as possible to the right side to keep his eyes hidden.
“ Skull, Where are you going?”, Damn it, Bella’s sweet voice sounded to hurt and broken; and it was all his fault. What did she mean ‘where was he going’? He didn’t have a plan beyond the car, he might head home to try and sleep even though it wouldn’t come when he felt like this. Unwilling to disappoint Bella or risk hurting her any more than she already was, Harold froze and waited for the yelling; the smack in the face. When it didn’t come, and she didn’t speak right away, Harold felt so accused and uncomfortable that he broke the painful silence.
“ Bella, we both know I don’t deserve to be here-”, and as surely as the tide comes in Bella’s hand smacked him hard in the face. With the grey sky of the morning growing brighter and brighter, Harold could easily see the pain and anger in her face as he raised his free hand to rub the throbbing red spot on his cheek.
“ I should slap you twice for that!”, Skull about panicked at how loud Bella was and raised a hand to plead with her not to be so loud without interrupting her and risking another vicious smack. Confused more than hurt for being seen as more than he really was, Harold furrowed his brows and stared at Bella square in the eye.
“ It’s true Bella, we both know its-”, Bella’s mouth clamped over his own so quickly that his front teeth throbbed from having smacked against her own. Bella didn’t seem to care about the pain, but Skull could feel her tender mouth throbbing from the sting of it, and his arms started to fold around her before circling towards himself to gently push Bella away. Parting the kiss as kindly as he could, Harold took a look out at the gray morning sky and found himself becoming quite tired. Distracted at the thought of sleep when he felt so brokenhearted, Bella’s mouth locked over his own (thankfully more gently this time) before parting their mouths and standing on her tip toes to whisper something that made his eyes widen in shock and his heart break from sweet pain.
“ Bill, I don’t think I can do that…”
Fwoosh! The brunette hurriedly tossed a pillow at the once-painted Skull’s pierced face before kicking off her shoes and climbing into her bed.
“ I meant sleep Skullerina.”, Feeling an almost bashful grin curl the edge of his mouth, Harold tossed the pillow to its usual spot on the mattress before slipping out of his shoes as well and climbing beneath the covers as well. While more conversation occurred, enough peace of mind had been settled for him to allow himself to fall asleep. Bella, unfortunately, took longer than that to fall into her slumber; but, he wouldn’t know anything about that. Or that Casey was asleep on the couch in the living room.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
