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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: This is Comrade Reddov of the NKVD. It has come to my attention that you are a returning prisoner of war, once held by the Germans. Am I correct?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

They never let me get to sentencing. sad

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: This is Comrade Reddov of the NKVD. I have learned that you were once a prisoner under the Germans, correct?
You: Article 58-1. Treason. 25 years forced labor in gulag.
Stranger: yes
Stranger: thats me
You: I am here to interrogate you.
You: Is it true that you came along with other escaped prisoners?
Stranger: no. i work alone.
You: Liar. *Hits you*
You: You already have a 25 year sentence! If you inform on those who came with you, I can reduce your sentence by ten years.
Stranger: what is ten years to me?
You: Just give me ten names.
Stranger: nothing.
Stranger: no.
You: I know you came with others!
Stranger: i left them!
You: Then tell me the names of the ones you left behind.
You: If you like, I can always arrest your family for anti-Soviet sabotage and founding a counter-revolutionary organization.
Stranger: i dont know their names. they all spoke of comradeship and helping each other. i told you the same i told them; I WORK ALONE. i left
You: Then describe what they look like!
You: Or else your family gets it!
Stranger: my family is dead
Stranger: i killed them
You: Ah. That's all I need. *Closes file*
You: Guards, take him away. Have him shot.
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: GREETINGS HU-MAN
Stranger: I AM LORD KEFLOKON OF THE PLANET NEBULOSIS 12
Stranger: YOUR PRESENCE OFFENDS ME
You: I AM NOT HUMAN. ANDROID.
Stranger: PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE SUBJUGATION
You: DO NOT BE TOO QUICK TO JUDGE, BEING FROM PLANET NEBULOSIS 12.
Stranger: YOUR SPECIES IMPEDES PROGRESS. PREPARE FOR ANNIHLATION.
You: I AM A BEING OF REVOLUTIONARY PROGRESS. YOU SPEAK TOO QUICKLY.
You: WE SEND DISPATCH TO NEBULOSIS 12. PREPARE TO BE ERASED.
Stranger: WHAT IS YOUR HOME PLANET, PATHETIC BEING.
You: SYSTEM 701345
You: NAMES ARE INFERIOR TO US.
Stranger: YOUR SOCIETY IS OBVIOUSLY NOT ADVANCED ENOUGH FOR NAMES.
Stranger: YOU HAVE NOT REACHED MY LEVEL OF SOPHISTICATION.
Stranger: DOES YOUR PLANET HAVE PORN-OGRAPHY?
You: SOPHISTICATION IS s**t IN DISGUISE.
Stranger: I REPEAT, DOES YOUR PLANET HAVE PORN-OGRAPHY?
You: ANDROIDS HAVE NO USE FOR PORNOGRAPHY.
Stranger: ANDROIDS ARE PATHETIC. THERE IS NO GREATER PLEASURE THEN WATCHING SEVEN NEBULOSIS 12 INHABITANTS EJACULATE PURPLE ELECTRICAL FLUID OVER THE NAKED BODIES OF THREE EARTHLING WOMEN.
You: PLEASURE IS A REDUNDANT FUNCTION FOR BEINGS. IT OBSTRUCTS AUTHORITY.
Stranger: YOUR FOOLISH SOCIETY IS FULL OF FOOLS.
Stranger: YOU FOOL.
Stranger: YOU SMELL LIKE A HALF EATEN a**.
You: ANDROIDS HAVE NO SMELL. YOUR SENSES ARE DECEIVED.
Stranger: NO, YOUR MOTHER.
You: YOU LOSE, PATHETIC NEBULOSIS 12 LORD WHO IS UN-LORDLY.
You: ANDROIDS, FTW.
Stranger: NEBULOSIS 12 IS THE MOST MIGHTY EMPIRE IN THE OMNIVERSE.
Stranger: I AM OMNISCIENT.
Stranger: I AM SO OMNISCIENT, THAT IF THERE WERE TWO OMNISCIENCES, I WOULD BE BOTH OF THEM.
You: DATA ON YOUR OMNISCIENCE IS NON-EXISTENT. DATA ON CHUCK NORRIS' WIPING OUT YOUR EXISTENCE IS ONLY DATA ON FILE.
Stranger: YOUR DATABASE IS PATHETIC AND OUT OF DATE.
Stranger: ********, I BET YOU USE A MAC OR SOMETHING.
You: ALL YOUR DATABASE BELONG TO US.
Stranger: I MUST GO NOW. I HAVE OTHER PLANETS TO CONQUER. BE GLAD I SPARED YOUR DESPERATE ANDROID a**>
Stranger: YOU NEED A GIRLFRIEND WHO'S NAME DOESN'T END IN .JPG
Stranger: FAREWELL
Stranger: /END TRANSMISSION

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Is that a refence to Ziltoid? surprised

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i am ur lord and master
Gwee Frankina Davina Julina the 3rd of the land of skittles and cookies
Stranger: hello
Stranger: i love skittle and cookies
Stranger: is gwee a boy or girls name?
You: then u shall be rewarded with them as soon as u fetch me some pizza
Stranger: right away, master
You: im a Flopemhire
You: i have no gender
Stranger: i know exactly where that is.
Stranger: that's my favorite genger
Stranger: gender
Stranger: u like pinapple and ham on your pizza?
You: just a plain cheese one will do
Stranger: ok. cheap date. nice
Stranger: papa johns? pizza hut? dominoes?
You: whichever one that doesn't run a whole in ur pocket
Stranger: ok. got it.
Stranger: as a non gender, do you have both or neither genitalia?
You: im like a kem doll
Stranger: oh, ok
You: or gi joe
Stranger: so ur mostly male?
You: no
Stranger: ok.
Stranger: anything else, sire?
You: hmmm
You: some mountain dew might help quench my thirst
Stranger: they don't have dew.
Stranger: just whatever the coke brand of it is
You: *sigh*
You: do they have fanta?
Stranger: orange, yes
You: then i shall have some of that
You: ah
You: thos fanta commercial always made me giddy
Stranger: i'll pick up a two liter
You: that will be good
Stranger: i'll be over asap
You: ah
You: u ar a very good servant u ar
Stranger: thank you. do i get paid?
You: *hands the servant a life times supply of cookies and skittlez*
Stranger: yum. what kind of cookies?
You: chocolate chip
Stranger: aww. i don't like chocolate chip
You: then what kind would u like?
Stranger: sugar, peanut butter, snickerdoodle, any of those
You: then i shall have all those delivered to u at once
Stranger: sweet.
Stranger: dost thou royal highness have an age?
You: we Flopemhires have no age, we ar neither created or destroyed
Stranger: do u have time? as in, what time is it there?
You: we live in a world where time is always changing, nothing is ever the same here
Stranger: same way here
You: then you may live in the outer world of ours
Stranger: oh. that would be convenient for the pizza/fanta delivery
You: all u have to do is open the magic bag M&M's and put the pizza and the fanta inside
You: then it shall be delivered to me
Stranger: i do not have this magic ba
Stranger: bag
You: look now
Stranger: is it invisible?
You: it is
You: well servant
You: i must take my leave
You: the castle is under attack by the evil My little pony ppl
Stranger: aww. good bye m'lord
You: i must return to the future
You: farewell
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi! asl!!!!
Stranger: im dying to talk to u smile ok
You: *gives card*
You: Foamy
You: *walks away*
You: u no wat to od
Stranger: UNKNOWN CARROTS
You: *do
Stranger: THEY OCD IN YOUR BRAIN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: herro
Stranger: how's you?
You: iz good how iz u?
Stranger: sleepy
You: aww
You: eat a watermelon
Stranger: i havent got one
Stranger: D:
You: that keeps ppl
You: hmmm
You: eat some lead chips
Stranger: ...
You: wat?
You: that keeps me up
You: O.O
You: u don't have that either?
You: well then eat a spoonful of vasaline
You: taste just like grape jelly
You: yumz
Your conversational partner has disconnected.