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 Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 6:32 pm
Friendly Visits Sunil Sunil approached Hurog Keep with a nervous flutter in her stomach. She wanted to turn around and head back to the safety of her closet, but she knew she couldn't. After what Ruya had said she had needed to see someone and the only person likely to give her what she needed was Tosten. Tosten, who likely wouldn't even give her the time of day after what she had done to him. She floated her way up the side of the keep, remembering the last time she had been here. Kidnapping Tosten had seemed like such a good idea at the time, the perfect solution to a bad problem. But in the end it had cost her, or had the potential to cost her. She landed on the windowsill outside Tosten's room and peeked inside, holding onto the side of the window for an anchor. "Tosten?" Her voice sounded odd, stripped of its usual arrogance. Tosten Omigoshsoboredwhyisthereneveranythingtodo?! Tosten had taken Ares' advice and since morning had been roaming about the floor at least, though he refused to take wing to the air - magic or no magic, it was too sore and icky! So he played adventurer on the mountain of stairs, and cave explorer under the bed and dressers, battling vicious dust bunnies and waging war against Oreg's broom. In the end he had tired himself out, game after game to keep him from just sitting down and moping as he tended to do too often when alone. But now he was tucked back into his 'sick bed'... a bedside drawer stuff of a towel and a pillow, the ultimate in cushion-wear. The television had his attention, some late afternoon childrens show, when he heard the voice. Sunil? Mismatched eyes shut to the window, as equally surprised as they were terrified. Why was she here? Did she know what he had said? No way, his friends promised not to tell - well, Yeande did, and Aileron didn't even know Sunil. She couldn't know. So why was she here? He ducked back a little, staring over the towel-lined edge of the drawer... he never responded, perhaps hoping she'd think he wasn't home and go away. Sunil Sunil closed her eyes and spoke again, louder. "I know you're here Tosten. I can sense your magic." She paused and then opened her eyes, taking a few steps farther into the room, but still on the windowsill. "I'm not here to hurt you. I just... I felt lonely." She felt so stupid admitting that. She was Sunil, she didn't need people. "I wanted to talk to you about.. stuff. Like the past, when we were friends." Tosten D'oh. Tosten grimaced when she announced awareness of his presence. See, see? Magic was an annoying, stupid thing if they let bad people find you when you wanted to hide! What was Ares and Aileron thinking, trying to say it was useful stuff... hmph. "Lonely...?" Came the meek reply from across the room where he peered a little more over the drawer edge, figuring it was silly to hide if she knew he was there. But he didn't want to talk to her... besides, it was Sunil! She didn't get lonely, she lied to cover up other motives. She wasn't here for company, she wanted something, he'd just have to figure out what it was first so he'd know if to hide it or let her have it for his own safety. Sunil Sunil sat down on the windowsill edge and let her feet dangle down into the room. There was no point in getting any closer, he was obviously afraid of her and would probably bolt if he felt threatened. "I was talking to Ruya and I realized that I'm all alone. I never saw that as a negative before." She put her elbows on her knees and rested her chin on her palms. "What would you do if you were going to live forever Tosten? How would you fill your time?" Tosten Tosten was glad she didn't cross the distance, it was the only reassurance he clung to. Funny really, he had an obsessive need for affection and contact, but now was so very happy to have his personal space in this situation. "But I'm not going to live forever..." Was the bewildered reply. His words were gentle and carefully guarded, still confused to why she would be here as he was casting off her reason as a lie. "I don't think I'd want to, either." Sunil Sunil sighed. It figured Tosten wasn't very good at rhetorical questions. "It was a rhetorical question stupid." She tossed the insult out neutrally. It had to be said, but she didn't really care what his reaction was. "When we were younger, why did you want to be my friend? What did you hope to gain by the association?" She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, wishing she could just go home. Tosten Tosten frowned at the insult though took it in stride, at least from their past he was used to her insulting him and never took it to heart. It was more the word that made him frown; rhetorical. How confusing. He'd have to ask someone later. "I.. I dunno..." He sunk down, out of sight again as he settled back. It was a little unnerving not to be able to see her but it also didn't matter, it wasn't like he could stop her if she wanted to come over. Cocking his head back he studied his own splint and bandaged wing, trying to remember why he ever did any of this. "I just.. wanted to. At first cause you were fun, and I like friends." The reason had changed over time but that seemed like a suitable answer, as it had always just been that simple. He just wanted to. Sunil Sunil sighed loudly, not satisfied with his answer at all. "But why? Why do you like friends? What is it about friends that is so blasted important?" Her voice rose steadily until she was yelling and then suddenly she was deflating and she started to cry softly. "Don't they just end up leaving or hurting you? Can it really be worth it?" Tosten Tosten shrunk down, trembling by the time her voice had softened. That tone she had, that choked way, was she crying? God, he felt so bad for her but he couldn't get his body to move... he felt so cold and the shaking wouldn't stop, not even all his sympathy could get him to move. "F-friends..." He paused, swallowed and steadied his voice. "Friends keep you from.. feeling lonely, and scared, and cold, and forgotten, and unneeded." He listed on and on, having several more words but deciding not to go all the way. "I.. I guess they leave sometimes, and they hurt you sometimes, but friends come back and say sorry eventually.. or you find them, and you tell them your sad, and they realize." A pause as he went over his own memories, admitting quietly, "I guess.. sometimes they don't come back at all, and it just keeps hurting and hurting... but.. I'd rather endure that then be all alone." He managed to move now, at least enough to peep over the drawer edge again, keeping a wary eye on her. She seemed more scary when emotional then mad, it was hard to predict her now and he didn't want his reasoning to anger her. Sunil Sunil just buried her head in her hands and swallowed, trying to stop the tears. She didn't need to look weak in front of Tosten of all people. "I..." She lifted her head and glared at him across his room. She didn't know what to say to that. She felt vulnerable and his reasoning sounded so good. "Are you trying to trick me into weakening myself by making friends with people?" She looked away from him and spoke quietly, although loud enough so he should be able to hear her. "How do you make friends?" Tosten Tosten furrowed his brow as he watched her, torn between thoughts. She scared him, so much he couldn't even put it into words or even thoughts anymore, but instead only as senseless nightmares keeping him awake at night. But also... she was crying. And while he'd given Sunil the credit of being tricky and cunning, he could never imagine the prideful feien to fake crying for anything. She had to be truly upset... "A-ah...." He wasn't sure how to respond to that and stammered a moment, confused. Didn't everyone just have the ability to make friends? You had to do something? Huh, he tried to think what he did to make friends. "I'm not sure, um... I think you have to.. treat them like friends, you know? Be nice and help them if they're in trouble or listen if they're worried and show that you don't forget they're there." He frowned, not sure if he was putting it right. This would be so much easier if... well, if it was anyone else but her! Sunil She frowned and blinked rapidly to keep back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. "But I can't do that. Am I just not meant to have friends? Am I supposed to be alone for the rest of my life? Forever?" She shook her head sadly. "That doesn't seem fair." Tosten Tosten watched her quietly, finding that somewhere inside him he was a little angry to hear her say that. He felt bad for her, he truly did, but how dare she say that... "How.. would you understand anything about fair?" He whispered so quietly that it might not have even reached her if she wasn't paying attention, as he was so very frightened to say such a thing but it had built up too much to keep quiet. Sunil Sunil glared at him, half hearing him and not entirely understanding what he was saying. "What did you say?" Tosten Tosten shrunk back a little and swallowed quietly, contemplating taking back the question. His eyes downcast, too nervous to look at her as he dared to go on. "You want... to hurt other feien and do bad things, ruin their friendships a-and.. and make them miserable..." He whispered nervously. "How.. can you say whats unfair when you do that? Why is it unfair that you're unhappy when you make others unhappy?" Sunil Sunil snarled and stood. He was insulting her? She had truly sunk low if he thought he could get away with that. "So I'm supposed to give my life to making other people happy and ignore what I want?" She started to walk, pacing the length of the windowsill in large strides. "Besides, what if I did't want to hurt people anymore? Would I really have to pay for the past for the rest of my life?" Tosten Tosten watched her movements intently, wary of every piece of her body language as she paced. He felt sick, why wouldn't she just get fed-up and leave? And yet he kept talking, as it was his nature. "N-no...! Of course not, you wouldn't.. but, ah, but you'd have to ... have to show you're different. I mean, if you don't hurt people then they won't treat you like someone who does... it takes time." But you still will hurt people, he contradicted quietly. He couldn't imagine she was going to change just because she understood what loneliness was now. He could wish it worked like that, but realistically he knew. Sunil She paced a little, watching him out of the corner of her eye. No she didn't want to change. She wanted to have both friends and the ability to do whatever the hell she felt like doing. "Besides, it isn't fair. There should be other feien like me, who enjoy the same things I do and who don't want to die alone." She stopped pacing and stood with her arms crossed over her chest. She narrowed her eyes and looked at him thoughtfully. She wished it wasn't like this, that he wasn't so afraid. But it was too late. The past could not be altered. At least as far as she knew. "But you were my friend even when I hurt other people Tosten. You only stopped being my friend when I hurt you." She grinned, her lips pressed in a thin line. It was clearly not a smile of mirth. "That is rather selfish of you. Just like keeping Calico's deeds a secret from Ares." Tosten Tosten flinched at the words, they stung because he knew it was true. He had made up every excuse in the book for her until she hurt him, after that there were no excuses left. "I-I know... I won't do it again though, I.. I know better now." He whispered back quietly, staring at her rather apologetically. It was hard to refrain from telling her that they knew now, at least that Yeande would know, then Ares and even Aileron... luckily he held it back. Sunil Sunil lifted herself off the windowsill and hovered closer to him, her arms still crossed over her chest. "So? My point is you're not perfect either. Why do you get to have friends and I don't?" She stayed where she was in the air staring at his wing. It had happened so naturally hitting him, but she couldn't really believe it now. She pulled her arms to her sides and curled them into fists. "You can't stop me. I'm gonna keep coming back and talking to you while you're still hurt." She turned and made her way back to the windowsill. "You're the only person I have to talk to," she whispered. "How pathetic." Tosten Tosten recoiled when she came closer, whatever courage he had to have spoken against her fled as he watched her with untrusting eyes. Why? A good question, but why would someone want to be friends with someone that might hurt you? It wasn't until she moved away that he felt the restore of a little bravery... though that wasn't the word for it. He wasn't brave. He was terrified but desperate and frustrated. He let so many things happen because he was selfish, scared... so he had to say it. "N,no.. you won't..." At first it was just a shaky whisper that came from him, trying to get the other words into his dry throat. Sunil Sunil smirked from her perch on the windowsill. "How are YOU going to stop me?" Tosten Tosten dipped his head down a little and closed his eyes, swallowing again before he started to speak. It was a whisper at first but the volume grew as he spoke... not much, but a noticable amount. "I'll change rooms... I, I'll just stay somewhere that you don't know... I don't want to talk to you Sunil, I don't want to be your friend, I don't want to keep your secrets, I won't help you let people be hurt... J,just.. just go away... go find someone else, I don't want to see you anymore. I won't talk." He whispered the last part, curling up a little, frustrated and depressed to admit it all. He didn't want to turn someone away but after all she did he couldn't take it... he simply refused to give her the company she sought. Sunil Sunil's smirk faded and she sneered at him. "And I will hunt you down and make you listen to me. Face it Tosten, I get what I want whether other people want me to or not. You're no different, friends or not." She turned and jumped out of the window to head home, already hating herself for the way that had gone. Tosten Tosten peeked up after she spoke, watching he vanish from his vision as the frame cut off most her exit. He knew well enough that she was gone now, though his heart wouldn't stop hammering against his ribcage so violently. Maybe... he'd have to start staying in a different room. At least until he could fly again.
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 6:40 pm
Whine, Whine, Whine Ruya found me crying and oddly enough I don't care. It doesn't matter. Compared to the magnitude of my future goals, something like that no longer bothers me. And I've realized it never should have. I have wasted too much time and opportunities worrying about my pride and how others viewed me. From now on I will do better.
Ruya sort of bucked me up and encouraged me, which surprises me. But she also made me realize some harsh facts. I am alone. Should that bother me? I don't know but it does. She made it sound like an insult when she said it.
I realized the last friends I had were probably Tosten and Quantel. Seeing Quantel is out of the question, but Tosten is easy to find. I went to talk to him.
It went very poorly. He doesn't want to see me again and I have vowed to hunt him down. I've botched things so badly. How did my life get so far out of control?
Whatever, my life is not out of control. It is off track and I'm getting it back there. I'm going to suck it up and ask Ruya for assistance. She has always been smart, I'm sure she can help me.~ Sunil
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 7:14 pm
Advice? Ruya Ruya sat in her room scribbling in her diary about her thoughts on the day. It was turning out to be a decent sized entry and she was rather pleased with some of the decisions she had made. Sunil Sunil peeked into Kam's bedroom and spotting Ruya, she moved inside the room and advanced on the juvenile feien. She stopped at a safe distance and eyed Rishi, who had spotted her and was growling deep down in his throat. "Ruya? I need your advice. Or help, whatever you want to call it." Ruya Ruya turned slowly, already having guessed who must have entered the room when Rishi started growling. She looked at Sunil and just laughed shaking her head. "You think you can just come in here and request my help? What arrogance. I don't owe you my insights into life Sunil. Make your own." Ruya turned back around, deliberately presenting her back to Sunil. Sunil Sunil slumped, sighing and curled her hands in and out of fists. Violence would get her nowhere here she reminded herself. Only thinking would help her to get around Ruya. "No," she said evenly, "I want yours. P, puh... " She screwed up her face in disgust. Who would have thought one word could be so difficult to say? "Mine aren't good enough." There she had admitted she didn't know all the answers. In fact, she didn't know a lot of them and it made her feel pretty small. "I don't know how to make friends. Or keep them. Or even if I should want them." Ruya Ruya sighed, almost growling and turned, putting the diary aside. "I don't know Sunil. Do you want friends? People have to decide for themselves what they want." She rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingers and guestured for Sunil to sit. "Pull up a chair," she said pointing to a hacky sack. "I have a feeling this is going to take a little while." Sunil Sunil pulled the hacky sack over close to Ruya's and sat on it, almost toppling off and having to catch herself. She glared when Rishi laughed, but restrained herself from hitting him or spitting at him. "You said you pitied me for being alone. Doesn't that mean you think I should have friends? And Tosten - Tosten said he liked friends." She put her hands in her lap in an imitation of Ruya. Ruya "So? Since when have you done things the way Tosten and I do them? You're your own person Sunil and frankly I don't see why you're questioning that. I have to admit it is nice to have someone else around to talk to, but I'm not going to spend my time telling you what to do with your life." Ruya paused, taking a deep breath. "I think that you would be happier with friends. I think you're lonely or you wouldn't have come home to Susu. Or talked to me. But not everyone can be friends with everyone else. You need to realize that some people will never like you. You need to spend your time finding those who share your hobbies and outlooks on life." Sunil Sunil nodded. That made sense and was what she had wondered about while talking to Tosten. "But Tosten said I make people unhappy so I should be unhappy." She balled her hands up and looked at them. This felt like a friggin' tea party sitting her talking to Ruya like this. She wanted to be up, pacing and yelling. But in the end that wouldn't get her what she wanted. This was a lesson she needed to learn. "Maybe no one will ever want to be friends with me." Ruya Ruya snorted and stood, walking to the window where she stared out at the backyard. "I think that is stupid. I don't believe in karma or any of that crap. The world is much to ugly for me to believe we pay in any way for our actions. Watch the human news sometime." She turned back and looked at Sunil thoughtfully. "I'll make a deal with you, as dangerous as that may be. I will be your friend if you will teach me to fight. Since I haven't seen my father in some time I have to assume I will receive no further instruction from him." Sunil Sunil raised both eyebrows at that. She had not expected such an outcome, but honestly what did she have to lose that she had not already lost? "Very well. I assume that by being friends you are saying you will spend time with me and ...?" Ruya Ruya smiled slowly and coldly. "I will. And you will spend time with me. We will talk and bond. I actually have some ideas about that. I'll share them later. I suggest you get some sleep." Sunil Sunil stood, puzzled. Ruya seemed to think she had gained something by this deal and in fact have anticipated it. Ideas? What the hell was she thinking the smug little b***h? "Good... night." Sunil kicked a foot at Rishi, who lunged at her but stopped short at Ruya's look. She grinned and walked out of the room, heading for her own closet. Ruya "Interesting." Ruya bent back down and picked up her diary again.
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 7:15 pm
Life I actually have a lot to cover this time.
First, Silva. I think I mentioned last time that I hadn't seen him around. Well, he is back from whatever he off doing, although he wouldn't ever actually say what he had been doing. He brought me over some delicious strawberry pocky for his summonday, which was really quite sweet of him. He seemed odd at one point during his visit, but then normal so I don't know what was going on with him.
Second, as always, Neruo. The last time I saw Neruo he scared me a little and I ended up making him a painting. I was going to bring it over to him and make sure he was ok, but I got sidetracked by Silva. Then Neruo walked in on Silva and I making out which was very awkward if you ask me. I was so embarassed for him to see that. He was covered in healing cuts and when I pressed he told me he had done it himself. I don't understand why at all, but he assured me he would never do it again.
I traced one of the cuts myself and I've been thinking about it. I think I want to touch him again. Not because of the cuts obviously, but just because I'm curious. I picked Silva because he seemed exciting, but Neruo and I seem to have more in common. Besides, I never intended to get tied to Silva for the rest of my life. Breaking the whole thing to him may be tough, since I'm not sure how he'll react.
Neruo brought me gifts when he came to see me. A beautiful gem and a painting of a wing. I'm not sure of the significance of the particular image he chose, but I like what it represents. He trusts me to appreciate his art.
Third, and unexpected, is Sunil. Sunil is home as I mentioned, but she is not herself. I went to go spy on her and ended up talking to her. She blew some chance to be immortal, which I am not sorry about, and it seems to have made her question herself and her goals. I told her to stop being so silly and just fix things. I mean if your goals are important to you, you can't just let things get in your way. She seemed a little better when I left and I have mixed feeling about the whole thing.
Now, the dragon Silva gave me had been causing some trouble too. He seems to have fallen in love with Preeti, the siamese whose tail he set on fire at one point and now he follows her around all day and tries to get her attention. I'm not sure this would be a problem except that she is so insufferably snobby she really wants nothing to do with him and his way to get her attention is to set stuff on fire. I've had to rescue other pets and the couch about five times each. When I tried to explain that sometimes people just didn't like you back, he got all depressed and hid under the furnace. Pets are trouble I tell you. Trouble.
Hold on, here she comes.
Sunil was just in here and she asked for my help. The nerve. She is such a b***h to me all the time and now she needs my help? Whatever. I'm not her, so I suppose I'll be her playmate until she decides she wants to be evil again. It isn't going to be easy though. She has agreed to train me in weapons and self-defense and I've agreed to be her friend. What a deal.
I'm going to take her on a bonding trip first thing tomorrow under the guise of being her friend.~ Ruya
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Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 4:01 pm
Dealings Ruya and I reached a more detailed agreement while out in the forest. I think she thought dragging me around and forcing me to make camp would test me in some way. I'm not sure she would have wanted to go with me if she had been in touch with Tosten about his camping trip.
I'll admit here what I will never again admit out loud. I need this. I need to learn how to deal with other people who have power over me without exploding and making my situation worse. I need to learn how to do whatever it takes to get what I want, no matter if that means submitting myself to the will of another.
I will learn this lesson and then I will ruin Ruya. I will find her weaknesses and play on them to punish her for helping me. I shouldn't need help and the fact I do fills me with rage. Rage that I will direct at her rather than myself.~Sunil
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Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 4:21 pm
The End Ruya Ruya floated out the kitchen window and out onto the porch. She had Bozidar in her arms and little curls of smoke came out of his nose at regular intervals. "Now no need to be so angry. I mean you're a dragon and she is a cat. It was bound not to work." Sunil perched in the window momentarily with an angry hissing cat perched on one shoulder. "What the hell am I supposed to do with her?" She jabbed a finger at her unwelcome passenger angrily. Ruya turned and tried to keep Bozidar from setting the porch on fire. "Just go calm her down. Give her some milk or something." Sunil grimaced, but disappeared back inside leaving Ruya and Bozidar alone on the back porch. Silva Silva was in the backyard playing a very rough game of tag with Sonnet. It was utterly silent, save for the snap of jaws when Silva got "tagged" or the tackling that Sonnet got when she was tagged. Although it was starting to get dark, neither had any trouble seeing. Then the faint smell of smoke drifted on the air towards them, making Silva jerk to a halt, a cold chill running up his spine. He whistled once, calling off the game and heading for the smell. If the stranger had somehow gotten to this dimension... He slipped through the hole of the fence, pulling his chain into his hands. Ruya Ruya spent some time debating which was better to chance having set on fire, the grass in the backyard or the porch. She had a feeling it really didn't make any difference, but she made her way down to the yard anyway and placed Bozidar on the ground. "Don't set anything on fire, I'm gonna clear a little circle for us." Ruya turned her back on him and started ripping up grass by the roots, tossing it as far out as she could. Silva Silva looked around, not seeing the stranger anywhere. But he blinked at the sight of Ruya pulling grass out of the ground. He blinked as he heard a low growl from his side, only then realizing that Sonnet had followed him. "Home." He muttered to the wolf, not surprised when she ignored him. He shrugged, heading over to the other feien, the wolf at his heels. "Darlin... have someone you need to bury?" Ruya Ruya turned and looked at Silva and the wolf with grass still grasped in one fist. "No," she said carefully. "Bozidar is mad, and I was trying to clear a spot so he wouldn't set the backyard on fire." She pointed to where Bozidar had been sitting a moment earlier only to see that he wasn't there. "Crap." She looked up at Silva again and shrugged. "I see you have a new friend." Silva "You could say that." Silva replied, chewing on his toothpick. "Who's Bozidor?" He looked around, raising an eyebrow as he caught sight of the dragon he had given her. "And your dragon is over there." Sonnet's hackles lowered as she realized this was some sort of friend... or more, of her cub's. There was a faint smell of him on her skin that only a wolf would be able to pick up. She sat, a wolfish grin playing on her lips. This was her cub's mate. Ruya Oh, Bozidar is what I named the dragon you gave me." Ruya dropped the grass and went over to pick up Bozidar, who had stopped spouting smoke and was simply watching Silva. "It means gift or something in some other language," she said absently trying to decide how to handle this. She shrugged and decided to get to the point. "I think I want to take a break," she said, "I'm confused about us." Silva "A break? From pulling grass?" He asked, deliberately misunderstanding her as his mind raced. She was confused? s**t. It wasn't as if it was that confusing. They talked, they snogged, then they went their own seperate ways. Until she got involved with someone else, that was. He cursed inwardly, his jaw clenching so tightly that his toothpick snapped in half. "What are you trying to say?" Ruya Ruya's eyes widened as Silva's toothpick snapped in half. "Why don't you go inside Boz?" She whispered to her dragon, who didn't look happy about it but took off back towards the house. Ruya crossed her arms over her chest before she replied. "I mean exactly what I said. I'm not ... satisfied with our relationship and I want to take a break." Silva "So you're dumping me." He muttered, a strangely calm look on his face. "Fine." He shrugged, reaching down and absently rubbing Sonnet's head. Only she noticed the tenseness running through his body. "Just tell me one thing. Is this about the orange boy? You get tired of snogging the same guy all the time?" He took the remaining piece of toothpick out of his mouth, tossing it aside and watching her through cold eyes. "Think he'll be better than me?" Ruya Ruya's forehead wrinkled and she blinked a little, a falling feeling in her stomach. "Fine? That's really all you have to say?" She tightened her arms against her chest and looked down at the ground. "I'm not tired of anything," she said softly. "I just think... ." She shook her head, trailing off. "I just feel like you don't share anything with me." And he does, she thought leaving it unspoken. Silva "What do you want me to do? Beg? Say, please darlin, I need you, I can't live without you. Tell you I dream of you, miss you when you're gone?" He stopped, an evil smirk on his lips. "Screw that. I'm not that desperate." Just close... He thought as he stepped closer, running a hand over her cheek, gently despite the look of rage that haunted his eyes. "You want me to share, huh? I'll share one thing. If you run to that orange b*****d and he doesn't... satisfy you... don't come running back to me." The word "Satisfy" was spoken huskily in a tone that he knew got to her. Ruya "No, I don't want you to say those things. I want you to be understanding." She tried to step back, to move away from the feeling of his hand on her cheek, but she didn't. She stood right where she was staring at him, even leaning her face into his hand a little. "So that's it? One shot. I have to either stay with you forever or never see you again?" Silva "Understanding? Understand what? That you're dumping me?" His voice was still calm, his touch gentle, but there was a coldness in his eyes that he had never shown her before. "I understand perfectly well. It's just like the man told me." He dropped his hand, looking at her for a second. "You might see me, you might not. I don't really give a s**t at the moment." Sonnet moved closer to him, her eyes glowing eerily in the night light. "But I'm not a yoyo, darlin. You can't shove me away and expect me to come back on my own." Ruya "Understand that this doesn't have to be the end. This isn't just about Neruo. In fact it doesn't have to have anything to do with Neruo at all." Ruya finally took that step back, feeling cold and looking at Sonnet. "Man?" Silva He shrugged, not really buying it. The stranger had made a bigger impact then he had thought, playing with his head, telling him the same things he had tried not to tell himself. "Just a stranger, dar--" He stopped, not wanting to use that term. "The more I think about it, the more I think he might have had something." Sonnet bared her fangs slightly, sensing the weakness in the female, as well as hating the pain she sensed from her cub. She stepped closer to Silva, her side against his hip in a comforting manner. "Fine." He finally muttered. All this double talk was starting to get him a headache, and he was refraining from the urge to do something violent. This wasn't supposed to be how it went. He was the one who was supposed to dump her. She was just a tool, after all. "But I need to collect on something." Ruya "No," she whispered. She had no idea what he would ask for, but she remembered her open ended promise as well as he probably did. "You're just being a coward," she spoke to Silva, but glared at Sonnet, suddenly annoyed at the other's presence here. "For all your talk of enjoying the moment, you're afraid of getting replaced, of getting hurt. Guess you're not as tough as you think." Silva His expression turned vicious for a second, then calm again, a slight smirk of cruel amusement playing on his face. "You think you have the power to hurt me? To... replace me?" "You think you're that important, do you?" He asked, his amused tone more cruel then yelling would ever be. "But there's one thing you owe me that I plan on getting before I leave." He said, looking determined as he took a step towards her, grabbing her chin. "My kiss." He leaned down, kissing her almost brutally, before softening it almost against his will. Ruya Ruya started crying as he kissed her, her emotions boiling over. She was so angry at him and yet so devastated she didn't know what to do. When he softened the kiss, she didn't bother to push him away, but bit down hard on his lip at the same time she stamped down on the top of his foot with her heel. "You b*****d," she sputtered, wiping tears away. Silva He tasted the blood in his mouth, the coppery bitter taste making him turn and spit it out before wiping his mouth. "And don't forget it." He replied to her b*****d comment. His foot was throbbing, but he wouldn't let her have the pleasure of knowing that she had hurt him. In any way. "We're done here." He said, turning towards the fence. "Have a good life, darlin." He started walking away, trying not to limp, his shoulders squared, his head held high, his hand gripping Sonnet's scruff to keep his balance. Ruya "May you get exactly what you deserve out of life," she yelled after him before muttering to herself, "Nothing." She turned and headed back inside to the kitchen where she told a smug looking Sunil to piss off and glared at all the pixapets.
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Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 4:30 pm
Mistake? That could have gone better, but I suppose it could have gone worse.
The thing that pisses me off is the kiss. How dare he touch me after what he said? In what world is it acceptable to kiss a woman against her will after you've basically told her she meant nothing to you?
I hope I never see him again. Or if I do I hope I see him just long enough to run him through with my rapier.~ Ruya
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Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 5:01 pm
Lessons Ruya Ruya set down her diary and growled as Sunil entered the room. "I told you to sod off Sunil and I meant it. I am not in the mood to deal with your s**t." If she could just hold onto her anger long enough not to collapse into tears in front of Sunil, she thought to herself. Sunil Sunil shrugged and continued into the room. "Its my house too. I can go where I want and do as I please." She sat down next to Ruya and smirked. "I told you not to get involved with him." Ruya Ruya rolled her eyes and avoided looking at Sunil. "Thanks. I told you so is exactly what I needed to feel better." Sunil Sunil laughed, a abrupt and grating sound, since it wasn't something she did very often. "From what I heard, you dumped him. So why are you upset? You got what you wanted." Ruya "I didn't get what I wanted at all," Ruya slammed her hand into the carpet, "I wanted a break, to be friends for a while. To see if we could be friends." She wiped away an angry tear and clenched her jaw. Sunil Sunil raised a single eyebrow in amusement. "Friends? It appears to me that my original premise was correct. Friends and lovers serve only to weaken you. Can you deny that?" Ruya "No." Ruya admitted it grudgingly. Sunil was right, friends and ... more just served to hurt you when you didn't both want the same thing. "But it is what happens before the hurting that matters. Silva and I had a lot of fun together." She knew that was what she should be thinking, but she wasn't sure and her voice came out doubtful. Sunil "You don't sound so sure of that," Sunil almost purred, sensing Ruya's indecision. "Besides he said you had no power over him." It was clear to Sunil that wasn't true. The boy would have walked away a lot sooner if that were the case, but Ruya appeared blind to that fact. "Maybe you had good times, but he didn't." Sunil continued, echoing the little voice in Ruya's head. "Maybe he has someone else..." Ruya "No!" Ruya stood suddenly, glaring at Sunil. "He does not have anyone else. He was mine." She hissed the last part, her eyes a little scary. Sunil "But not anymore," Sunil stood as well, spreading her palms as if appealing to Ruya's reasoning abilities. "Now he is free to find another ... toy to fill his nights." She smiled suggestively. Ruya "Get out," Ruya said dangerously. "You make a lot of sense and you shouldn't. I'm not thinking clearly." Sunil Sunil didn't budge. She could almost feel Ruya's pain and it made her feel alive. "I make sense because I'm right," she replied arrogantly, "You can't deny it. You thought you were the one doing the dumping, but the truth is he didn't care about you anyway. No one really cares about anyone else." She paused before leaning in and continuing. "Except the weak, the low, the people everyone else secretly laughs about behind their backs." Sunil "Tosten is a child and you know it. No one takes him seriously." Sunil crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back, a smile playing on her lips. She mentally noted that she should seek out Silva sometime and thank him for this. Ruya "So what am I supposed to do? Be alone? That didn't work out very well for you." Ruya curled and uncurled her fists at her side. Sunil "You don't have to be alone, you just have to learn the lesson Silva already knew. Don't care about anyone but yourself. If anyone is weak enough to actually care about you, you have to use them without falling into that trap yourself."
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 3:17 pm
Another one? Ruya & Co. Ruya and Sunil were still in Kam's bedroom as night fell. Ruya was sitting by the open window with her feet dangling off the edge, staring morosely at the neighborhood and Sunil was up on the bed jumping rope with a piece of string given to her by Kam for that purpose. "I'm sorry I'm so bummed," Ruya muttered to Rishi, who was curled up around her. "It just really hurt." "Are you whining again?" Sunil yelled from the bed, almost losing count. Neruo LF opened the window at her house to let Neruo out. "You sure you want to go at this time of night?" she asked, worried. He'd never asked to leave the house at night before. "Yes, I'm sure, and you don't need to worry." The orange one said calmly. His wounds were almost completely gone, and he had plenty of energy. He wanted to get out of the house. He took to the air as LF waved to him. He waved back and fluttered off to see Ruya. He'd been confined to the house for a while, and his first order of business on his first night out was to see...her. Ruya & Co. "She is so insufferable," Ruya continued whispering to Rishi, "What was I thinking making her my friend?" Rishi yawned, but didn't reply. Up on the bed Sunil got bored and dropped the string, bouncing off the bed and wandering over to Ruya and Rishi. She stood beside them and looked out the window. "Looking for your ex?" She said snidely. "No, now go away." Ruya waved a hand at Sunil imperiously. Sunil squinted out the window and laughed. "There is a feien approaching." Ruya looked up at Sunil, startled. Neruo A bright orange Feien floated lazily on the soft breeze. He caught a glimpse of Ruya...and that blue Feien! The one that beat up on Calico at the shop! Well, she wasn't going to stop him, so he kept flying towards the window. He finally arrived, floating just beyond the windowsill. He smiled brightly and waved to Ruya. He noticed that she did not seem well, and became concerned. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly. "You seem...troubled." Ruya & Co. Sunil looked back and forth from Neruo to Ruya and laughed out loud. "Another one? I don't know why you were so upset if you have another one." She turned and walked towards the door, still laughing. "I'll be back." Ruya blushed and stood, backing away from the windowsill so Neruo would have some place to land. She ignored Sunil and replied to Neruo's question. "Come in, come in. I'm alright." She tried to be happy, but it didn't really succeed. Her face fell and she admitted, "No, actually I'm not. Silva and I broke up." Neruo Neruo watched Sunil leave, wondering what she meant by 'another one'. He didn't consider himself Ruya's...significant other. At least, not in reality. He saw he face droop and sighed, landing and walking over to her. He brushed some of her hair from her face, concerned. "I didn't know you two were a real item, but...I'm terribly sorry. LF told me that things like that hurt. Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?" He plucked a feather from his wing. Perhaps tickling would be best? Ruya & Co. Ruya teared up and put her arms around Neruo, burying her face in his shoulder. "I thought we were, but I'm starting to think I was the only one who did." She tried to stop crying, sniffling a little. It was rude of her to be like this when he had come to visit. "I'm sorry. Its just, I dumped him and I think it ended up hurting me more than him." Neruo Neruo tilted his head, gently wiping away one of her stray tears with his finger. He smiled gently. "It's alright. I'm not one to know how things like these really work, but I'm terribly sorry it hurt you so much." He carefully hugged her again, rubbing her back. "It's alright. Everything will be alright..." Ruya & Co. Ruya stepped back and gave him a halfhearted smile. "Thanks. It is nice to hear someone say that." She stepped back and sat on one of her makeshift beanbag chairs. "So how have you been Neruo?" Neruo Neruo smiled and sat where he was. He played with one of his curls while he spoke. "I've been alright. LF had me on house arrest for a while after leaving without telling her. Now I'm out on good behavior." He chuckled. "I decided that the first order of business on my 'to-do' list was to come see you." He folded his wings. He forgot to bring her something! He silently kicked himself. At least she was glad to see me. "I did not know you lived with that blue Feien. Last I saw her, she was beating on Calico in the shop...very rude. Is she mean to you?" Ruya & Co. "I'm glad you came to see me. I needed some cheering up." Preeti came out from under the bed and curled around Neruo, looking for attention. Half her tail was singed off, so she looked a little odd but that didn't deter the siamese pixacat. Ruya laughed at the question about Sunil. "She is probably listening outside the door." A muffled sound was heard from outside the room and Ruya looked smug. "That is Sunil and yes I live with her. She used to be mean," Ruya was thoughtful for a moment, "and she still is, but I think she has mellowed a little. We're ... friends now." Neruo Neruo chuckled and picked up the singed Pixacat, scratching behind her ears. LF did not have anything this small around the house, but she did get something called a 'Jelly' earlier today. Perhaps, when it arrives, Ruya could meet it? "I'm glad I could help, and I am glad that you and...Sunil are friends now. I wouldn't want you to live with someone who was mean to you." Ruya & Co. Ruya shrugged, "I don't have much of a choice. We're both bonded to Kam, so I'm kinda stuck with Sunil whether I like it or not." Ruya looked down at her hands and softly continued. "Part of why I talked to Silva, although not the whole reason, was because of you." She flushed, feeling odd admitting this to him. Neruo Neruo watched her quietly as he pet the cat in his lap. Because of him? Was this a good ting or a bad thing...? "I do hope I haven't done anything wrong. I mean, I hope that I did not contribute to your sadness." His wings twitched nervously. Was this all his fault? Ruya & Co. "No, it isn't your fault that I'm sad. Or that I dumped him." Ruya leaned over and picked up a piece of lint of the floor and looked it over. "You just made me think about some things." She tossed the piece of lint back on the floor and looked up at Neruo. "I wondered what it would be like to be with you instead." She shrugged still blushing. "We have more in common than Silva and I do." Neruo Neruo smiled. His mind was racing, but his body didn't seem to react nearly as much. He was determined, and he would be strong and steady for her. He stood up, placing the Pixacat on the floor, and offered a hand to Ruya. "All I can promise is that I'll do my best to make you happy. I don't want to see you so sad anymore. It breaks my heart." Ruya & Co. Ruya shook her head and sighed, ignoring his hand. "I'm still upset about Silva." She looked up at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "I just wanted to tell you and have it out in the open, but I'm not ready to jump into something." Neruo Neruo retracted his arm and crossed them, watching her. He nodded, understanding that it took time to get over these kinds of things. He sat down again, grateful that she had told him these things. "That's perfectly understandable. I need to do some research myself. I must prepare in case you do want...to be...with me." He blushed uncontrollably. It was amusing, actually. Such a calm exterior...usually. Ruya & Co. "Research?" Ruya asked curiously. What sort of research would one do before getting into a relationship? Neruo Neruo smiled. "LF told me a little bit about what it is like to be in a relationship with someone. She has someone as well, so I think she would be a good source. And other things I need to catch up on, too, like manners and such..." He began to count on his fingers. How many books did he need to read? And how many of them would make up for the real experience? He decided to read only some of them, figuring that experience was better than book knowledge. "I wouldn't want to disappoint you." He chuckled quietly. Ruya & Co. Ruya had to stop herself from laughing out loud, which would have been rather cruel. Neruo meant well. She leaned forward and took one of Neruo's hands in her own. "Neruo, relationships in general are about feelings not facts. You can't learn how to be good at them by reading books. You could never disappoint me if you just follow what you feel." A muffled snicker could be heard from outside the bedroom door. It wasn't clear whether it was feien or pixapet in origin, but Ruya shot the door a dirty look. Neruo Neruo nodded, glad that she knew more about these things than he did. "I think you're right, Ruya...If I just do what feels right, then I won't have any regrets." He watched the door curiously, smiling. "Is your Feien friend eavesdropping?" Ruya & Co. Ruya gave the door another look before replying. "Either her or some of the pixapets. I apologize for how rude my housemates are being." She sighed facing Neruo, and took his other hand, so she was holding both of them. "I'm sorry to do this to you Neruo, but I'm pretty worn out." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "You can stay if you want, sleep over on another one of Kam's throw pillows." Neruo Neruo smiled and hugged her, standing up. "It's not a problem. In fact, I find your housemates to be quite entertaining." He walked over to the window, leaning on the sill. "Since you're tired, perhaps I should leave? Unless...you want me to stay?" Ruya & Co. Ruya followed him to the window and blushed a little, having startled herself by offering to let him stay. "Oh no, I just thought since it was so late you might prefer flying home in the morning." What if Silva saw Neruo leaving in the morning? But who cared what Silva thought? "Entirely up to you. We could always watch a movie or something before bed. I'm sure Kam would be happy to have company, but I am tired." She shrugged, showing how much the decision didn't matter to her. Neruo Neruo chuckled and brushed some of the hair from her face. "I think I should go. Besides, LF will want to know where I've been, and you look very tired. You've had a long day. You deserve some rest." He fixed his curly hair and jumped onto the sill of the wondow, waving back to her. "If you'd like, I'll come back and visit you sometime soon. And perhaps...bring you something to cheer you up." The orange one then dove from the window, catching the warm, late-night breeze. He drifted off in the direction of home, happy. Ruya & Co. Ruya waved to Neruo as he left until he disappeared into the night. Then she sighed and turned back to find Sunil watching her from the doorway. She started to tell the older woman to mind her own business when Sunil spoke. "Workout in the morning. Be ready." Sunil smiled and turned to walk back out the door and down the stairs. Ruya shrugged and started to get ready for bed.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 4:12 pm
Rude Awakening "What the hell?!" Ruya jumped out of bed and rolled, picking up her rapier and stopping in a crouched position. She pushed cold wet hair out her face and glared at Sunil, who was standing over Ruya's bed with an empty dixie cup in her hands. "Seriously Sunil, what the hell are you doing?" "Training time. I told you to be ready didn't I?" Sunil smirked and tossed the dixie cup aside, sounding extremely amused. Ruya glanced out at the window, where the sun was just starting to peek over the horizon. "You said morning. Morning! It is still dark outside!" Ruya let go of the rapier and rubbed her eyes, still not awake. "Besides what the hell was the water for?" "My amusement." Sunil snickered and then turned to head out of the room. "Come on sleeping beauty, we're going running." "Running where?" "Around." Sunil guestured vaguely. "Did you want to start training with me or not?" Ruya stood and obediently followed Sunil out of the room, still wringing out her hair onto the carpet. She had asked Sunil to train her.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 4:24 pm
Training After circling the house several times at a brick jog, Suni was starting to feel pretty annoyed. "You're not tired at all?" "Nope!" Ruya tried to sound more cheerful than she felt. She wasn't feeling the run the same way Sunil was, but she wasn't feeling exactly fresh either. "Well, we're done anyway." Sunil slowed down and started to walk it off, then went over to the side of the house and started stretching. She raised an eyebrow at Ruya and said condescendingly, "We're stretching." Ruya scowled, but walked over by Sunil and began imitating her. "So what exactly do you need help with?" Ruya gave Sunil a puzzled look. "You're just as fast as I am, you seem to have a little better stamina," Sunil guestured at Ruya before sitting down for more stretching, "and you appear to be just as flexible. What do you need help with?" "Oh." Ruya sat as well, once again trying to figure out what Sunil was doing and imitate her. "Strength and magic. I'm terrible at magic and I don't think I'm very strong." Sunil looked smug. "Well, I am very good at magic." She flexed one arm. "And rather strong if I do say so myself." Ruya rolled her eyes and stood, since they were obviously finished stretching. "What next?" Sunil stood and started back towards the open kitchen window. "We'll work on your strength. Follow me." Ruya ran to catch up with the older feien. "Can I wash off first?" She asked, feeling pretty sticky.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 4:38 pm
Training 2 "I can't do anymore," Ruya whined, her ab muscles on fire. "Weakling. Keep going if you want me to let you keep training with me." Sunil sneered at Ruya from where she was holding her feet down. Ruya glared back and did two more before collapsing back on the floor with a groan. "Seriously, I can't do any more of those sit-up things." Sunil stood and kicked Ruya lightly in the side. Ruya curled up around the now smarting spot with a snarl. "Flip over. It's time for push-ups. Not like you'll be able to do more than two or three." Sunil sounded so superior it set Ruya's teeth on edge and she exploded. "You don't have to be such a b***h all the time." "I also don't have to put up with whiney little feien who asked for something and now can't follow through." Sunil crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at Ruya, clearly annoyed. "Either do what I ask of you or forget about me training you. When it comes to this, I am the expert. Learn from me or don't. I'm not going to baby you." "Fine," Ruya spit out and flipped over. "How do I do it?" Sunil got down on the floor and demonstrated a couple times. "Make sure you keep your hands below your shoulders and your back straight." She stood and motioned that Ruya should attempt to do them as well. Ruya started only to have Sunil put one foot up on her back and push her down to the ground. "I told you to keep it straight." Ruya gritted her teeth and tried again. Working out with Sunil sucked.
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Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 8:10 pm
Storytime Silva Silva slipped out the window and across the yard. He was cursing himself silently, knowing that this was stupid, but he hadn't spoken to anyone all day. Not since he had gotten back from... wherever he had been. He needed to tell someone, tell HER. And now that she hated him he didn't even have to worry about her being worried. He smirked, amused at the fact that the only person he wanted to tell was the last person that would give a s**t. He slipped through the hole in the fence, hiding in the shadows as he got close to the house. Ruya Ruya was avoiding the back porch in general, but Rishi had to be walked sometime. So she and her faithful companion were out on the back lawn. Rishi was bounding around and exploring, while Ruya sat on the porch yawning. "You almost ready to go in Rishi? I'm tired. Working out is tough." Ruya leaned back and propped herself up by her elbows, trying to keep her eyes open. Silva There, he thought, cursing himself for the excitement that went through his veins at the sight of her. He drew closer, sticking to the shadows and settling into a spot next to the stairs. He snorted, amused at himself. He didn't even bother to hide from professional killers, but here he was hiding from a girl. "Darlin... Before you try to kill me..." He started out, scowling as he heard the slight hesitation in his voice. Maybe he should let her run off with that orange b*****d, forget that he even exists-- "I need to tell you something." He jerked, the words coming out of his mouth before his mind could stop them. "I went through the door." Ruya Ruya jerked upright at the sound of Silva's voice and looked around. Crap, she couldn't see him. He had to be using that stupid ability of his to blend into the shadows. She stood and thought about going inside, but then she sighed and sat back down. There was always the possibility she could locate him by the sound of his voice. "The door to other places?" She bit back the cruel comments that crowded into her head and continued calmly. "Find anything interesting?" Silva She was staying. He scowled, not knowing if that was a good thing or not. "Just death." He said, almost casually. "First time I went it was a jungle. The trees were huge, darlin, going so high that you couldn't see the sky through the limbs. And the snakes were bigger then hell." There was a slight grin on his face as he realized how much he had wanted to talk about this. "Couldn't even walk, there were things so huge crawling on the ground. And I ran into this... human. At least I think he was a human. He threatened to kill me a couple of times. Wouldn't have bothered me if it hadn't been for the gigantic dead cat that had its throat slit behind him." Ruya Ruya grimaced and turned towards his voice. Finding someone by following their voice was totally unreliable, but it gave her something to focus on. Keep her mind clear of anything else, like what she would do if she did find him. "That doesn't sound like much fun," she said mildly. "You are at least still alive and in one piece. I assume you got the better of this human?" She sounded doubtful, but didn't really see any other way out for Silva. Silva "Actually--" He stopped, unable to lie. "No. The b*****d saved my life. There was this... I mean... alright, I was too stupid not to notice this big a** snake on the limb above me." He sighed, flushing slightly as he waited for her to laugh. "It won't happen again." He dropped down, leaning back against the side of the house as he went back to telling his story. "After he saved my life I camped out on his bags, listening to him cracking jokes about how long it would take me to get myself killed. And about... other things." "He said women were never faithful to guys like me... like us. Hell, seems he was right. But that doesn't matter anymore." He leaned back, staring at the moon for a few minutes. "I'm not like him, darlin... at least I didn't think I was. But then I went through the door again." Ruya "You went through again?!" It just burst out, her voice a little bit on edge. That had to be the dumbest thing she had ever heard, almost getting killed and then doing it again. But was that what was important? No, probably not. It had already happened and he was obviously fine. "I'm glad you're okay," she said softly, and then even softer, "And not that it matters, but I haven't been unfaithful." Errgh, why had she said that? Who cared if she had been or not, he had made it quite clear the last time they met that he didn't give a s**t about her. "I doubt you're as bad as this guy, since he sounds pretty unimaginably terrible, but you're not always very nice." She crossed her arms over her chest, irritably. How dare he come over now and do what she had wanted from him before? Silva "I wasn't--" He stopped, scowling. "You're not-- dammit, let me start over." He chewed on his toothpick for a second, thinking things out. "I went through again, yeah. I owe the guy a life debt, whenther he sounds like a good guy or not. He kept me from being eaten. And I pay my debts, darlin. Whether I like the person or not." He paused, then shrugged. "And hell, seemed as good a time to go as any. I wanted to forget about... some... things." He was starting to see why the men smoked. It gave them something to do while they paused and thought things out. He said nothing about the faithful comment, not really wanting to bring up that fact. "But I didn't go back to the jungle the second time. Hell, still haven't quite figured out WHERE I went... but it was a room. With a fan..." Ruya "So you're saying you're going to go for at least a third time?" She sighed thinking about it. Whether she wanted to date him or not she certainly didn't want him to die. "And forget what? That you'd just told me exactly how little I meant to you?" She muttered it, not really wanting to hear his response. The event was too recent though, too raw for her not to say anything. "I assume the second time was just as fun as the first?" She said, prompting him to continue with the story, although she still hadn't figured out why he was bothering to tell her all of this. Silva "How little you--" He stopped, snorting as he realized what she was talking about. "Oh... that." He leaned back, shrugging. "Well, hell, darlin, what do you expect me to say when being dumped?" "But like I was saying..." He went on, not bothering to wait for her reply. He didn't answer the question about going back a third time. Wasn't sure what the answer was, actually. "The fan was strange, real slow and ran by cords of some sort. And there was a bra hanging from it. Then there was the smoke, the place reeked, actually, was hard to breathe. But the guy in the bed was hung over, and when he woke up he decided I'd make good shooting practice." He was actually enjoying this, he thought, slightly surprised. It was like a form of bragging now that he knew she wouldn't be devestated if he was killed. Not that he was sure she would have been before they broke up... Ruya "Before it happened I would have expected you not to be an a**," she said angrily. This was starting to piss her off. "What the hell are you telling me all of this for anyway? Let me guess, you thought to yourself," she started her best Silva impression, "What was the one thing Ruya said she wanted from me," she pantomined thinking really hard for a second. "Oh right! To share. Why don't I go do that now as a form of torture and make her realize how reckless I am, now that she can't do anything about it. Make her realize just how much I hid from her to begin with." She slammed the porch beside her with her hand in frustration before pulling it back with a little cry. That had hurt! She blinked, the pain pushing away the tears that had been building. "Do go on," she said coldly, "Bra on fan, strange smoke, and a trigger happy guy with a hang over. I'm gonna have to guess the hang over made it hard for him to aim." Silva "No, actually the reason I'm telling you this now is because I don't have to worry about you getting upset. Hell, darlin, you told me how you felt by dumping me. So now I can get some things off my chest." He stopped as he heard her cry, frowning slightly. "You okay, darlin? You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" Ruya "I'll be fine," she said through gritted teeth. "I just punched the deck a little hard." If he laughed, she would find him and strangle him. "I'm still rather upset, so this is all I'm going to say about us. Liking you is not something I turn on and off like a light switch. I don't suddenly not care about you because I don't want to date you." She pulled her legs in, crossing them beneath her. "But keep going, I want to hear this." Silva He scowled, not liking that answer. "I don't want you to care about me anymore, darlin. And I'll go on to explain why." He took a deep breath, focusing on his story and trying not to think about her hand. "After he fired once I got smart, took to the shadows. He thought I was an illusion so he wasn't surprised when I disappeared. And then I grabbed the sheets from the bed, wrapping them around his ankles and making him fall." "He caught himself. The b*****d was fast, darlin, like a snake. Then he went to the bathroom and threw up for a while. When he got back he started flipping through channels and ignoring me. Expect to talk about one of the... shows." "And darlin... I said something and he had a blade to my throat before I could finish it. But I couldn't help but think... I want to be that fast. That's the problem. I see things in these guys... things I wouldn't mind knowing. And I figure, maybe you're better off not knowing... not liking someone like that." Ruya Ruya made a face when Silva mentioned throwing up. Gross. Smoke was bad enough, but ugh... she felt dirty just thinking about it. She reached up and started rubbing her arm with her injured hand before she thought about it. "Ow!" She stifled it and carefully put her hand back in her lap. She tried to think of an appropriate response to his story, but all she felt was sick. Killing rats was on thing, but other people... feien...? "Do you want to be fast so you can kill me?" She asked, horrified just saying it. Silva He almost jumped up there when she said ow... then he stopped, raising an eyebrow at the idea of being able to kill her. "Damn darlin, I wouldn't need to be that fast to kill you. It wouldn't be that hard. I want to be that fast because..." He stopped, not really knowing the answer until he thought about it for a second. "It's a challange. Think of all the things you could do with that speed. Catch yourself before you fell, scare the crap out of people... and I'd never drop my weights on my feet again. That can be painful." He scowled. "Worse then getting stomped on, even." "And that's just the start of things. If I had the speed of the second guy and the awareness of the first..." He stopped, feeling a strange sort of lust for power. "Who knows what I could do?" Ruya She really wasn't sure what to say to that. It probably would be easy to kill her. It was a depressing thought. "I'm sure you could do a lot of things. But what do you want to do?" Ruya leaned back so she could look up at the sky. She wasn't going to find him with it getting gradually darker and she was starting to think she didn't want to. "Out of curiosity, have you ever really thought about killing me?" Silva "I won't deny you've pissed me off before." He said slowly, examining the question in his mind. "But hell, darlin, I couldn't even hit you if I wanted to. I think that's my greatest weakness." "But what I want to do..." He stopped, shrugging. "Hell, darlin. I don't have much that I want to do right now. I'm even confused about what I want to BE right now. What if I'm right? What if I'm like those guys? Or what if I'm turning into one of those guys? The first one... he said something about not surviving long enough to become like him." "So I figured I would tell you this before I lost what little conscience I have. I want you to be happy, even if it's with that self-mutilating son of a--" He stopped, not able to finish the lie that was on his lips. He stood, stretching. "So I guess this is my way of saying goodbye, darlin." Ruya Ruya felt even more sick to her stomach than she had earlier. She sat up and pulled her knees up to her chest. "Don't go?" She pleaded. She didn't have anything to say, nothing had changed, but she didn't want this to be it. "I still owe you a debt. I promised you I would do anything when you helped me with the bug." It was a stupid, desperate, last ditch effort to get him to stay for just a little bit longer. Silva He stopped, looking at her for a second. "Darlin, I can't hold you to that. Not if I want to save you from me." He sighed, stepping out of the shadows into the moonlight. "But I guess I owe you for that 'important' comment." He waited patiently for her to go get her rapier. "You can punch me if you want." He shrugged, feeling naked for the first time in his life, not that he had ever worn clothes. Ruya Ruya turned her head as she saw motion and smiled sadly at him. She stayed where she was, hugging her knees to her chest with one arm. "I don't really feel like hurting you." She shrugged. "I don't even know what to say to you. I still care about you and I don't want you to become some sort of cold blooded killer." She blinked slowly at him, her exhaustion catching up with her. "If it really has to be goodbye, can you just stay until morning? Sleep with me?" Silva He blinked, his jaw dropping slightly at her question, the toothpick threatening to fall out. Sleep with her? He doubted it meant the same thing to her that it meant in his favorite comic books, but-- He stopped, warring with himself as he tried to come up with a reply. If he stayed he would want to touch her... if he touched her he wouldn't be able to go back. "Darlin..." He started out, trying to come up with a reply. "I... Can't. If I stay then I'll want to touch, and if I touch... well..." He gave her a crooked smirk. "Then I wouldn't be able to say 'Fine' the next time you wanted to dump me. That just blows the 'saving you' bit to hell and back." He scowled, not liking that answer any more then he thought she would. "But..." He muttered, hating this decision even as he made it. "You can keep this." He pulled his chain off, handing it to her. "For the night." He grabbed the blade hanging from it, not wanting to give up ALL of his self-defense. Ruya Ruya frowned and started to cry, tears just slipping out. "I don't want you to save me. Silva, this sucks. Watching you leave, knowing you might not ever come back, it makes me feel like someone just reached in and ripped out my insides." She shook her head and sniffled, wiping her tears away with the back of her arm. "I want you to stay with me tonight. And... and..." She faltered and then looked up at him. "I'll beg if you want me to," she said it softly, feeling ashamed to even offer. Silva He scowled, the tears bothering him. If it was anyone else... ANYONE... He took a step forward, dropping the hand holding the chain and looking at her for a second. "Why in the hell do you, of all people..." He muttered, in that instant close to hating her for the power it seemed she had. "Why, dammit? The first time I TRY to give a s**t about someone else... the first time I put what I want second..." He glared at her. "And you do THIS to me." He shoved his chain into her hand, glaring into her eyes for a second before looking away. "I didn't say you could keep it, darlin. I just said you could borrow it. For now." He stepped back, fighting himself. "I'll be back for it. That chain means a lot to me, after all." He felt pure hatred for himself, for this weakness. For the fact that all he really wanted to do was curl around her and never let go. With that he melted into the shadows once again. "I'll be back, dammit. I can't seem to help myself." Ruya Ruya took the chain and sighed. She draped it over her shoulders and then watched as Rishi climbed the steps. "Thanks for waiting," she said in a subdued voice and stood so she could bring him back inside.
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 5:18 pm
Day in the Life Ruya spent the night sitting by the partially open bedroom window with the chain hanging over her shoulders. She couldn't sleep, every time she laid down she felt like she ought to be up and doing something. But nothing she could think of felt right. Painting? No inspiration. Writing? What would she say? Reading? She couldn't get even get past the first scene of The Tempest, her current favorite Shakespearean play. So she sat and stared out the window until Sunil came in around dawn to wake her up to go work out. Sunil was pretty surprised to see her awake and was disappointed she wouldn't be able to use the cold water trick a second time. Ruya was apparently a quick learner. "I see you're already awake. Let's go, time to run." Sunil started jogging in place and then looped around Ruya once, before stopping jogging around and looking her in the eye. "Are you asleep?" She leaned in close and peered at Ruya curiously. "Do I get to use the cold water after all?" Sunil grinned and started back over to get the dixie cup she had laid down when she saw Ruya was awake. "Leave me alone." Ruya's voice was barely audible, so Sunil backed up to hear her better. "Excuse me?" "Leave me alone. I'm not feeling well." Sunil frowned and grabbed Ruya's arm, hauling her to her feet and sending the chain slipping off the opposite shoulder. Much like a two year old who doesn't want to go somewhere, Ruya just stayed limp and left Sunil little to work with. If she really hauled her up by the arm, she would probably end up dislocating Ruya's shoulder, so she let go with a sigh. Ruya leaned over and hauled the chain into her lap. "When starting up an exercise regimen I find it best to get into a routine. It makes you less likely to stop when you get busy or are tired because you stayed up all night." Sunil put her hands on her hips and scowled. It was obvious Ruya wasn't listening to her. She reached down and grabbed onto the end of the chain and pulled it off Ruya's shoulders in one quick motion. Ruya finally turned and glared at her. "That's mine." Sunil looked the chain over carefully. "No, it isn't." She sounded positive. "It's Silva's." It was a complete guess, but apparently it was a good guess because Ruya got even more angry. "How the ******** would you know?" Sunil shrugged, smirking. "How did you get it? I thought you two broke up." Sunil raised one eyebrow at Ruya as an idea occured to her. "Did you steal it?" Ruya glowered, but remained sitting. "No. He gave it to me." Sunil sat down beside Ruya, sprawling her legs out in front of her. "When?" Ruya continued looking out the window and ignored Sunil. "Do you want it back or not? I have a feeling if he gave it to you, he would be very angry to find that you gave it away." Sunil stood slowly, draped the chain over her own shoulders and then started out of the room. She walked instead of flying, since she knew Ruya would just call her back. "Wait," Ruya said grudgingly. "He gave it to me last night." Sunil stopped, but stayed where she was so Ruya would feel like she should keep talking. Just as she was thinking Ruya might not choose to say anything, she spoke again. "He came over last night while I was walking Rishi." "And?" Sunil prompted, moving back over towards the window. "And he gave me the chain." Sunil snorted and sat back down by Ruya. "No one gives up their weapon that easily. What did you do?" Ruya shrugged and leaned forward, resting her chin on her palms. "I asked him to stay. He left the chain instead." Sunil nodded in approval, pulling the chain off her shoulders and putting it back in Ruya's lap. "You act like that isn't a good thing." Sunil said slowly. "I think leaving the chain probably meant a lot to him. Besides a chain is much more useful." Ruya narrowed her eyes at it, but put it back up on her shoulders. "A chain isn't what I asked for." Sunil sighed and kicked her feet a little, flexing her muscles. She was way out of her depth here. "I thought you broke up with him." "I did." Ruya sounded resentful and Sunil shrugged, smiling. "I thought he hurt your feelings." "He did." Sunil snorted and stretched over her legs, reaching for her toes. "You broke up with him, he hurt your feelings, and you asked him to stay? You've got to be the dumbest girl on the planet." Ruya shifted positions and turned her back on Sunil, her arms crossed over her chest. Sunil laid back, pulled her knees up, and began doing crunches. "Look. I don't know what you're thinking, but it doesn't look to me like you're very happy." "I'm not," was the quiet reply. "And Silva is behind all of this unhappiness." "That's not fair." Ruya turned back around and scowled at Sunil. "So? It's true. If you hadn't dated him in the first place you wouldn't be so unhappy." "You just want me to be alone, like you." Sunil stopped mid-crunch and dropped back so she was laying on the floor, looking up at the ceiling. "It was worth a try. Now leave the damn chain here and get up. You'll feel better if you work out." "Working out sucks," Ruya said childishly. "It's supposed to. Now get up." This time Ruya let Sunil pull her to her feet and grumpily followed her outside for the beginning of the new daily routine. Running, stretching, and then back inside where Sunil showed Ruya some different ways to lift weights and generally made fun of how weak she was. When Sunil finally let her go, Ruya was so tired she just wandered back into her room and passed out on her pillow. She didn't even think to check on the chain, which was no longer in the spot by the window where she had left it.
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 6:41 pm
Uh-oh Ruya woke in the early afternoon, the light streaming in the window slowly invading her consciousness. Irritated, she rolled away from the window and off the pillow onto the floor. The loud thud she made falling was followed by a horrible yowl as Preeti streaked out of the room. Ruya had landed on her tail. "Stupid cat. Serves you right for being so close to my pillow," Ruya growled blearily as she stretched. Falling asleep after working out had made her rather stiff and falling on the floor hadn't helped, so she stood slowly and stifled a yawn with her hand. "Feeling any better?" Rishi padded over to her and stuck his head under one of her hands. He had watched her sleep, happy she finally could. Ruya smiled and scratched his ears. "I'm not as tired. The rest I'll figure out later." Rishi sat, his tail wagging. She might not be as happy as she could be, but she didn't seem quite as down as she had been the night before. Ruya smiled and reached up for the chain. Oh wait- she'd left it by the window before she went to go work out. Absently she patted Rishi on the head as she turned and then walked over to the window sill. There didn't seem to be anything there. She blinked a couple times, she was probably just still out of it from being asleep, but it didn't appear. She tried again. Nope, no chain. That didn't seem logical, so she bent down and felt around for it, sliding her hands across the wood. Her hands didn't run into anything, so it hadn't just become invisible. "Rishi?" Ruya was starting to get worried. Rishi walked over and sat by Ruya, looking up at her questioningly. "I had a chain here and it isn't here anymore." She gave him a panicked look and then whispered to herself, "Silva is going to kill me." About 20 minutes later, Sunil walked into Ruya's room just in time to see her throw a penny up against the wall. Sunil's eyebrows shot up when she noticed that Ruya must have gotten it out of the vaccuum cleaner, whose bag had been opened and its contents mostly scattered across the floor. "Kam is going to kill you." Ruya turned and advanced on Sunil with a grim expression. "Ok, what did you do with it? This isn't funny." Knowing full well what Ruya was most likely talking about, Sunil just smirked. "I don't know what you're talking about." Ruya growled in frustration and balled up her fists. "You do too. Now give me back the chain." Sunil grinned even wider, unable to help herself. "You lost Silva's chain? That is so priceless. What do you think he would do if he found out?" Sunil made a "thinking" face and then continued. "You know I haven't spoken with him in a while..." She turned and sped out of the room, leaving Ruya to simply stare after her in disbelief. "Well, s**t." Sunil poked her head back in and laughed. "I'm just kidding." She disappeared again down the stairs and Ruya followed, extremely annoyed. About a half an hour afterwards, Ruya had turned Sunil's closet upside down and still hadn't found the chain. Sunil watched the entire thing from the doorway, amused by Ruya's distress. "If I took it I wouldn't have hidden it in such an obvious place," Sunil volunteered, leaning against the doorway. Ruya scowled and stomped out of the closet, kicking over a couple piles of paper on her way. "I am not amused."
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