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 Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 10:35 pm
Ok. I have OTHER classes besides yours!!!
Why the HELL do you give me THIS MUCH WORK for a two or three unit class!? Why am I even TAKING YOU!? You aren't NEEDED for my major! I thought this class was going to be fun and filled with awesomeness, but instead its just a big ******** headache.
Grrrrrr. I am putting your name in my box where I put all the bad teacher's names. D8< @$#$@!*#$*@!!!
Also.... Do you HAVE to be so hard to write research paper?! No seriously. Everyone yell at me if I'm not doing my paper. I really need to write this. Otherwise I fail the class and I am just putting it off again. Not only that but I have to know this subject like the back of my hand because I'm doing a ten minute presentation and I friggen need to research it. So if you see me on msn or something like that between now and the end of the month. PLEASE yell at me!!!!!! PLEASE.
........*kicks hw's a*** I hate you.
Oh yeah and Dad? Cut the ******** umbilical cord. I'm ******** 20. You were 21 when you got married to Mom and she popped me out two years after that.... so why the hell don't you let me grow up you a*****e. And sister! Shut your ******** mouth for once. I told you not to tell Dad I walked home. Just because he got jumped in that neighborhood twenty years ago doesn't mean I will. Plus he was in high school. I'm in college and its not like I'm walking around in the middle of the night! He was on the ******** football team, jocks get jumped, hate to break it to you. I'm a girl yes, but STOP treating me like a kid. I can defend myself. I'm not afraid to go down in a fight. If they have a gun at least I'll break or bite of SOMETHING of theirs before I die. I've been jumped before when I was in middle school, its nothing new. I just didn't tell you. When I was growing up you always used to tell me: "When you turn 18 you can tell me, eat dirt, but until then you're under my roof and you have to follow my rules." When can I say go eat ******** dirt without sounding disrespectful? Huh? When can I tell you to leave me the ******** alone? I'm not a ******** kid anymore! I love you because you're my Dad, but seriously, let me live my own life. I know you're trying to keep me from re-living your mistakes, but for christs sake let me make some mistakes of my own! Otherwise when I get married and have kids I'll say to them, "Well my Dad never let me do that when I was your age. You shouldn't do that." I won't have any mistakes to back me up on and I will be a horrible parent! D8< UGH. If you read this sister, I will punch you if you tell Dad. And I will NEVER talk to you again. Oh yeah, and did you know you can be down right RUDE sometimes? You never say thank you. You never call me unless its to tell me something and then hang up on me. You know what. ******** you family.
No advice thanks. Hisa is just tired of a lot of things.
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Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 9:48 pm
 「「いつも同じ涙ばかり流し続ける」」
Oh so I can't watch TV AND use the computer at the same time?
How about you? You do it all the time. What a great role model huh?
And how mature is it that you couldn't contain the very idea of you contradicting yourself to...well, yourself. You HAD to go and pull the plugs themselves. Mature huh.
Sometimes I really do wonder who is more mature. I or You.
And now, as I drink my concoction of Chilled soda and Wine that was in the fridge for god knows how long...
I wonder do you even feel a shred of guilt or humility for the way you acted.
Thanks for all the times I asked for help on my homework and you couldn't give me a simple answer.
Thanks for the times I asked you to go to PTA night and you never did.
Thanks for recognizing my hard work, even though it came in the form of a C.
Thanks a lot mom.
Happy ******** mother's day.
Advice, no advice, i don't give a s**t.
「「 失くさなければ気づかないから」」
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 9:07 am
I have to take your ******** picture for a grade. A GRADE. Don't act like you're afraid of the camera because you take so many of my pictures.... DAMMIT! UGH! LET ME TAKE YOUR PICTURE! I all ready took gram's picture and we are supposed to use a different person. You're making me take a picture of her again just so you don't have to do it. Excuses excuses! The reason you don't want to take a picture is because you're afraid of someone recording your fat a**! ((And its not all that fat.)) Well hate to break it to you but everytime you step out that ******** front door people see your damn face. What is one picture going to do to change that? Have two more people see it? Dammit you ******** piss me off. Now I got to go to the class with some picture I don't have. Thanks.
....I wish I had some real life friends. Haha. *headdesk*
Also, stop being a control freak. Let me go to my movie tonight. Let me cosplay. Let me be a fangirl. Just stay up past your bedtime for once in your life.
No advice thanks.
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:42 pm
What is a friend?
[You can respond to that if you want]
I am not sure if I have many, and next year I am pretty sure I will have none, because all my friends are seniors...
I am too fat...
I am not eating til I lose weight...
I am scared to take my medication...
My mom and I are separating...
I feel so alone...
Sometimes I wish I could just close my eyes and be free...
I could be in a new world with no more worries...
No more competition...
Just Beauty, Freedom, Truth, and Love...
[no advice please]
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 4:06 pm
Thanks, douchebag brother mine, for reminding me that watching a ******** BASKETBALL GAME is more important than taking me to see my psychatrist. I had almost forgotten that from last week, when you were gonna make me wait til halftime to pick up my meds from her- when she wasn't guaranteed to be there!
Remember how dad bitched you out for five minutes over it, because he had to take me down instead? Well, I hope you're thankful that I'm taking the bus down there, so he won't b***h at you again. And I swear to GOD, if I have to take the bus home, I WILL call dad, cry, and tell him why I'm downtown at night.
No advice, unless you're gonna join in wishing with me that the Celtics get their asses pwnt for my troubles. >>
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:21 pm
s**t...
i ate...
it wasn't even that good...
maybe I will always be this way...
I wish he saw me in that way...
I wish he would look at me like that again...
but he loves her, and so do I...
who couldn't love her...
he always falls for the lovable...
thats why he didn't fall for me...
s**t...
I HATE ******** FOOD...
I HATE IT...
[no advice please]
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:47 pm
I ******** don't come on here anymore because everything is over priced. And everything I sold back in the days is even more gold now. Including all three katana's I once had...first sold... 20k...
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 8:23 pm
I am not perfect...
please just know that...
[no advice needed]
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 8:41 pm
AAARGH!
LADIES-- This rant is directed at YOU!
When a guy says you are "Hot", "Beautiful", "Gorgeous", or "stunning"-- NINETY NINE POINT NINE TIMES OUT OF A HUNDRED HE IS BEING COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU.
Believe us when we say it! Don't dismiss it! That's like a slap in the face to us!
ALSO-- Ladies, as much as you think we do, we actually don't enjoy skeletal thin girls. I WANT A WOMAN WITH A LITTLE BIT OF MEAT ON HER BONES..
You know what my MOST favorite game to play with a girl is?? Hide the sausage.
You know what my LEAST favorite game to play with a girl is?? Count the ribs.
The most attractive quality in a woman for me is how she views herself. If she's rail-thin and worried about her weight... I turn the other way, and don't give her a second glance. If she can look at herself and say "I'm not perfect, but I know he'd like to see me naked. I know he's gonna want some of this." that shows in the way you walk, talk, act, and present yourself. It is a big change in you.
So ladies, for God's sake.... worry less about how much you compare to the supermodels, and worry more about how you hold yourself. Guys can instinctively sense the lack of self-esteem, and many will turn away from it.
If you're that worried about it... don't diet, Don't go for binging/purging, and don't go for anything destructive like simply not eating. That'll only make it worse and make you even LESS attractive. If you really want to make a change... it's simple. Get out and walk more. Run more. Jump around more. BE HAPPY AND KEEP MOVING.
I'm sick to death of girls who throw my compliments away like I'm mocking them.
Advice not needed, but if you wanna add something, go ahead.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:05 am
I just lost my job, 4 weeks before I started, because someone else can start earlier. It not fair.
I was suppose to be looking after this little girl but I couldn't start untill my exams are all over and the parents have been having trouble looking after her. So in the end another woman who could start earlier got the job instead and I'm left feeling stupid and worthless!
I guess I should be happy becuase it means I get a month and a half's worth of free time back, but it also means I miss out on making a lot of money. They said they'll give me compensation but I would have liked the chance to make more money and I was also just looking forward to doing the job, I thought it would be fun and interesting.
And now I've got to tell everyone that I no longer have a job, which is so embarassing and I told quite a few people.
No advice needed, unless you know a really good way to cheer a person up.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:13 pm
Oh hyper... I know the perfect way to cheer a beautiful gal like yourself up... heart
If you'll just follow me... *leads to the backroom*
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 1:46 pm
Unspoken_X AAARGH! LADIES-- This rant is directed at YOU! When a guy says you are "Hot", "Beautiful", "Gorgeous", or "stunning"-- NINETY NINE POINT NINE TIMES OUT OF A HUNDRED HE IS BEING COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU. Believe us when we say it! Don't dismiss it! That's like a slap in the face to us! ALSO-- Ladies, as much as you think we do, we actually don't enjoy skeletal thin girls. I WANT A WOMAN WITH A LITTLE BIT OF MEAT ON HER BONES.. You know what my MOST favorite game to play with a girl is?? Hide the sausage.You know what my LEAST favorite game to play with a girl is?? Count the ribs.The most attractive quality in a woman for me is how she views herself. If she's rail-thin and worried about her weight... I turn the other way, and don't give her a second glance. If she can look at herself and say "I'm not perfect, but I know he'd like to see me naked. I know he's gonna want some of this." that shows in the way you walk, talk, act, and present yourself. It is a big change in you. So ladies, for God's sake.... worry less about how much you compare to the supermodels, and worry more about how you hold yourself. Guys can instinctively sense the lack of self-esteem, and many will turn away from it. If you're that worried about it... don't diet, Don't go for binging/purging, and don't go for anything destructive like simply not eating. That'll only make it worse and make you even LESS attractive. If you really want to make a change... it's simple. Get out and walk more. Run more. Jump around more. BE HAPPY AND KEEP MOVING. I'm sick to death of girls who throw my compliments away like I'm mocking them. Advice not needed, but if you wanna add something, go ahead.  
I feel like I've got to say something here...
I'm know you're not directing this at me alone,
but when I read it, I feel like it is.
Most people who actually know me know that
I am an absolute health freak and that I'm constantly
planning out what I'm doing over the day and how it'll affect my body.
I add up the calories of EVERYTHING I take in over the course of a day,
no matter how big or small that number is. I also do this with sugar,
fat contents, etc. Whenever I am eating, I am ALWAYS looking
and studying the food labels to make sure I know
what's going into my body as I consume it.
It sounds like an obsession, and who knows, maybe it is. It's a habit.
And yes, I, like most girls, have a goal of being thinner.
Now, I know what you're talking about, X.
About how perfectly normal looking girls are complaining
to their friends, boyfriends, and practically everyone about being 'fat.'
However, I am not that. I don't think I'm fat.
I just want to be thinner than how I am right now.
Right now, according to the BMI charts and whatnot,
I am considered underweight for my height.
My family is always bugging me to eat more.
But you know what? I don't care.
Sure, BMI charts are there right in front of you
as solid, written proof of what you are,
but so is my image when I look at myself in the mirror.
Many and probably most girls who try to lose weight
are doing it to impress someone else -- whether it is their
boyfriend, their family, their friends, or just for their peers
so that they can have a boost of self-confidence.
HOWEVER, that is not my reason for my wanting to be thinner.
Why am I still trying to lose weight when people tell me
that I don't need to and the current "statistics" say I'm underweight?
It's because I am not satisfied with my body image.
I'm not calling myself fat, nor am I complaining or crying over it.
I want to change myself FOR myself,
and not for anyone else other than myself.
I'm going to keep being myself until I'm happy
with all that I am, and quite frankly, I don't think
anyone can stop me until I've reached my goal.
Quite frankly, I don't care about what anyone thinks about me.
The only time I do care about how others see me is
when they begin to question my integrity and morals.
That is what I care about.
So with that said, I couldn't care less about how people
see me -- if I were fat or skinny. I am me, and that is all that matters.
I don't change myself for other people.
I change myself so that I, myself, am happy.
I will not stop trying to become thinner
until I am completely 100% happy with my image in the mirror.
Until then, I am not changing my lifestyle.
Another reason why I may be sounding so 'harsh' on myself
is because of the direction in life I hope to eventually enter.
Because of the career choice I'm hoping to achieve,
I will have to model whether I like it or not.
So, yes, I do compare myself to super models.
But, no, I will never go so far as to binging and purging.
That image of myself would be disgusting and something
I can guarantee you I will never do.
(not to mention I hate vomiting. eww.)
People already tell me that I could model the way I am
right now and people always suggest me trying it,
but to be honest, I'm a perfectionist in everything I do.
So if I don't feel like I have a perfect body,
I won't be happy with my modeling.
Sure, I have a goal weight in numbers that I'm aiming towards,
but if there's a day before I reach that where I look into the
mirror and say, "I think I can live with this,"
then I'll completely disregard the number of pounds I want to reach.
I'm not trying to sound hostile or defensive or anything,
but I feel like I need to get my point across.
I'd also like to quickly say that although everything above
sounds like I'm simply just cutting back on food,
I am also getting much more exercise than I have been in the past.
So I hope it doesn't sound like otherwise.
I know I sound like I'm trying to cover myself up
and everything I do, but again, when I was reading
what you had said, I felt like it was being directed at me,
though I know that it most likely wasn't.
But... umm... yea.
I guess I just had my little rant for the day.
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 4:38 pm
Unspoken_X AAARGH! LADIES-- This rant is directed at YOU! When a guy says you are "Hot", "Beautiful", "Gorgeous", or "stunning"-- NINETY NINE POINT NINE TIMES OUT OF A HUNDRED HE IS BEING COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU. Believe us when we say it! Don't dismiss it! That's like a slap in the face to us! ALSO-- Ladies, as much as you think we do, we actually don't enjoy skeletal thin girls. I WANT A WOMAN WITH A LITTLE BIT OF MEAT ON HER BONES.. You know what my MOST favorite game to play with a girl is?? Hide the sausage.You know what my LEAST favorite game to play with a girl is?? Count the ribs.The most attractive quality in a woman for me is how she views herself. If she's rail-thin and worried about her weight... I turn the other way, and don't give her a second glance. If she can look at herself and say "I'm not perfect, but I know he'd like to see me naked. I know he's gonna want some of this." that shows in the way you walk, talk, act, and present yourself. It is a big change in you. So ladies, for God's sake.... worry less about how much you compare to the supermodels, and worry more about how you hold yourself. Guys can instinctively sense the lack of self-esteem, and many will turn away from it. If you're that worried about it... don't diet, Don't go for binging/purging, and don't go for anything destructive like simply not eating. That'll only make it worse and make you even LESS attractive. If you really want to make a change... it's simple. Get out and walk more. Run more. Jump around more. BE HAPPY AND KEEP MOVING. I'm sick to death of girls who throw my compliments away like I'm mocking them. Advice not needed, but if you wanna add something, go ahead. From my experience guys do like skinny girls and they only say nice things to make you feel better... But thats just my experience...
And I am sorry babe I do take your compliments serious... <3
I agree with Yan Xin, I know I write a lot about my eating and stuff, but when I lose weight it's not for some boy, there are tons of boys at my school who like "larger girls" Its for me, I mean seriously, do you know what it is like to go to the store and nothing fits right, or to try on EVERYTHING, and nothing fits how you want it to. I look in the mirror, and I don't like what I see, and If I don't like what I see how can I let anyone else see it... Even with my ex, when things got serious I never let him see my body... And yeah you say that X but ... if you saw a really fat girl i am pretty sure you won't say "omg that girl is sexy". And i am sorry but some girls really can't help not eating/bingeing/purging... god I wish I could stop... but I can't but you know most of the time eating disorders DON'T come from what girls think guys want... there are soooo many other things... most of us could care less what the hell you all think...
I still love you X ... you just got me on the wrong topic...
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 4:54 pm
Unspoken_X AAARGH! LADIES-- This rant is directed at YOU! When a guy says you are "Hot", "Beautiful", "Gorgeous", or "stunning"-- NINETY NINE POINT NINE TIMES OUT OF A HUNDRED HE IS BEING COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU. Believe us when we say it! Don't dismiss it! That's like a slap in the face to us! ALSO-- Ladies, as much as you think we do, we actually don't enjoy skeletal thin girls. I WANT A WOMAN WITH A LITTLE BIT OF MEAT ON HER BONES.. You know what my MOST favorite game to play with a girl is?? Hide the sausage.You know what my LEAST favorite game to play with a girl is?? Count the ribs.The most attractive quality in a woman for me is how she views herself. If she's rail-thin and worried about her weight... I turn the other way, and don't give her a second glance. If she can look at herself and say "I'm not perfect, but I know he'd like to see me naked. I know he's gonna want some of this." that shows in the way you walk, talk, act, and present yourself. It is a big change in you. So ladies, for God's sake.... worry less about how much you compare to the supermodels, and worry more about how you hold yourself. Guys can instinctively sense the lack of self-esteem, and many will turn away from it. If you're that worried about it... don't diet, Don't go for binging/purging, and don't go for anything destructive like simply not eating. That'll only make it worse and make you even LESS attractive. If you really want to make a change... it's simple. Get out and walk more. Run more. Jump around more. BE HAPPY AND KEEP MOVING. I'm sick to death of girls who throw my compliments away like I'm mocking them. Advice not needed, but if you wanna add something, go ahead.  In the words of the great Sir Mixalot 36, 24, 36? haha only if your 5'3 i agree with X, some of the hottest gils i knew in highschool kept that "i'm fat" "i'm hideous" "blablabla".... i wanted to choke them and since i agree with X my mindset is in the gutter so i won't say with what ninja so yeah, if a guy calls you hot, then your hot! say thank you and keep it movin, don't argue DAMNIT!! scream now back to your regularly scheduled rants... my anaconda
don't
want
one
unless
you
got
buns hon...
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 4:55 pm
So I went to the mall today because I need shoes and a bag for my prom dress... I am just not a mall kind of person... I don't do well in them... and my mom was there with me, usually we get along REALLY well, but recently she has been so mean to me... she has been treating me like a child, but I am 17 now... not a child... I love her, but it hurts me sooo much when we argue... I wish I could be perfect for her, never cause her trouble... I know she is just trying to help ... but she has to let me try things out for myself, she has to let me fall sometime, I need to learn on my own what I like and what I don't, what I can do and what I can't... but I do listen to her, though she doesn't listen to me, I listen to her, and I love her...
anyway so the mall today was NOT fun, and surprise I didn't get any shoes or even a purse... plus whenever I am there people look at me like "what is she doing here" I mean I don't have "mall" clothes most of my stuff is from the thrief store or target (but don't worry I make it hot). So I guess I just didn't fit in there... and atom will still not come to prom with us... even though I REALLY want him too, sorry X but boys suck sometimes... this boy is like perfect for me, but he is in love with one of my closest friends, who likes him too, but has a boyfriend and it leaving for college in 3 months... why can't he just except that we will be perfect together, I mean he is german... and my car is german... SEE its perfect... lol... ok that last part was me just joking around... BUT COME ON... and the more I get to know this boy the more I like him... *sigh*
[no advice needed, but if you want to comment I won't stop you]
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