Welcome to Gaia! ::

I have absolutely no recollection of you being there... I only remember Alpha, the worst kage I have ever seen being the only other person in Suna. sweatdrop

... So the fact I want to drag care bears into the ninja world doesn't phase you at all?

The chuunin exams were like 4 months after I left Sunagakure...

Please, with my demented care bears, I'll rule the world.

huh... I really don't remember that... I'm sorry? sweatdrop

Y'know, I wonder sometimes what peoples' priorities are. What really makes some people tick? Worse. What is the value of life, of friendship? Would anyone even go so far as to put a price on it? There have been days when I've wondered if some people value it at all. No matter how hard some of us try, it seems like nothing will ever go good. And even when things do turn out alright, they always end up right back where they were to begin with, where things just suck. But before I go call Shira and rant and cry and do whatever the hell else I need to do to mend the fissures in my little f**king fragile heart, let me ask you something, POTS.

What REALLY matters in the grand scheme of things?
There are so many people who do nothing but sit around and talk about who they are and who they want to be and what they want to do with their lives, and so few who actually do it.
People who sit until their rocking chairs and porch swings wear out and crumble to dust just like the people sitting upon them, filling their heads with dreams and mindless goals and chatter that never amounts to anything. And before you know it, it's gone. I guess it's unfair, the whole concept of life. What begins so suddenly can be ended with the same cruel swiftness.

Even this. Right now. Typing this. Staring mindlessly at the screen of some computer, RPing in POTS, browsing and chatting with people some of us call friends. Will it matter in a week, a month, a year, five years?

Take a moment to appreciate all of the things you have, from the air in your lungs, to the material possessions. And then look around yourself. What do you see?

Me? I see a bunch of money I didn't need to spend having been spent on things I didn't need to impress people that don't matter.

When you lose someone you love, it throws a very harsh light onto the bleak reality that is life, and it makes a person wonder. What is real? What will last? What matters?

The unfortunate answer that I seem to come to time and time again is: not much. In the end, our lives are treated as if they are nothing but an unidentifiable speck of dust floating through a shaft of sunlight as it shines through the window that is this universe.

It doesn't matter at that final moment. And there will always be that instant of regret. Things you said. Things you didn't say. Things you wish you could say, but will never get the chance.

So to anyone I've snapped at in the past few days, let me explain why.
I'm not justifying. I'm not even really apologizing. I will for the sake of doing so, in order to put your little minds at rest.

In the grand scheme of things, everything is so insignificant that I feel like nothing I do matters.
He tried to call me that day for the first time in two years and I didn't answer. I wasn't even home. And now it's just stuck there, knowing that nothing I do can change the fact that he reached out to me and, had I answered and kept him distracted for even ten seconds, he wouldn't have died.

And that thought will be stuck with me forever.

And I sincerely hope these words will stick with you.

Huh. I still have no recollection. xD

No offense intended but someone is going to have to say it eventually. Even if you did get to make two brand spanking new rpcs from scratch. Any personality bloodline profession etc. The same thing would probably happen. You will eventually reach a point where you think, well that was a good idea but I could have created this other kid who blah blah blah. I know you have heard what you can do to fix that so I'll leave that out of this rant for the most part. Why should someone invest their time creating a relationship, or training, or whatever an RPC that they knew would be abandoned as soon as you think of another RPC? Why should the POTS crew take the time to read through your applications for clan/bloodline/profile/customs which often have some debate about why you NEED this character to have this or whatever? Why should your Kage want you in his/her village if you are going to jump ship in a month or so?

edit: long story short, it's getting a bit old. It's not that hard to change a character.

I never said that I was getting rid of either character...

I meant I need another bloodline or something to create. I can't create any good Talents, so I was complaining about that. The only reason I even mentioned the other characters in my sand box is because those seem to be the only things that I can actually create Talents and such for that are passable.

Please ask before you jump to conclusions when I didn't even mention I wanted to get rid of either/ I've already stated numerous times I'm keeping both. I'm not being offensive, but if you assume every time I bring up a slight defect with my characters, or I'm drawing a blank as to what to do with them next, you all jump all over me for it. I've gotten rid of around 2 characters. That's it. You all act like I do it to every single character I've ever used. Kiryuu, I did it with him simply because things were going too slowly and I couldn't take it. Sue me, I was 14 and impatient. The next character I don't even remember, apparently they weren't holding enough merit in my memory that I thought to remember them. All the other characters I've used went out because of inactivity, I got into a little spat and I quit for about two months and I didn't remember the direction the characters were going in, so I simply made a new one, rather than revive a character most people who had been role playing with me had mostly forgotten about.

Long story short, I'm not planning on getting rid of them at any time in the future. I was simply saying that I couldn't think of anything to do with them so I needed something to preoccupy my mind. If I really wanted to be rid of them, why would I have spent the time typing all that out, actually mentioning I had ideas for both, Laxus couldn't use his idea because it was another rip off, and Raphael because It didn't quite make sense and Hinote said that the ability would be useless until Jonin rank. I actually plan on Laxus taking the Raikage's seat, and Raphael becoming the Suna sannin. I know the crew might have a problem with that, but I still plan on making it happen at some point in time.

P.S. I'm not trying to instigate a fight, I'm merely asking that you please quit throwing that in my face over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. It's even more old for someone to tell me exactly what you two just expressed as it is for me to say that I want to make a new character. ( Which I do, but not at the cost of either of my current characters. )