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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
5, 6, 6, 2, 4, 6
Total: 29 (6-36)
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 Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 4:27 pm
Hope you all are doing well! xD
I have to go brush out my hair and go run errands! Enjoy the summer weather! smile
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
1, 2, 4, 6, 6, 2
Total: 21 (6-36)
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:36 pm
Ever had to re-pierce one of your ears?
Well it hurts. ouchie. xp
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
6, 4, 6, 6, 4, 6
Total: 32 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:20 am
I really want that flute!
wahmbulance
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
5, 3, 5, 1, 1, 4
Total: 19 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:21 am
ooo! so close with a 32.
Q: If a Witch practices on the beach, is she a Sandwich ?
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
5, 4, 6, 1, 1, 1
Total: 18 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:31 am
Q: What's Wiccan, flies around, and makes honey?
A: The Blessed Bee!
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
1, 3, 3, 1, 3, 6
Total: 17 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:33 am
Q: What do you say to an angry witch?
A: Ribbit
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
1, 5, 4, 1, 2, 1
Total: 14 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:37 am
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to."
The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me".
The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?"
After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?"
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
1, 1, 3, 2, 3, 3
Total: 13 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:40 am
This fellow was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped. He grabbed a branch and was hanging there. After an hour or so passed, he was feeling exhausted. He looked up to the heavens and cried out: "God, help me, please, help me."
Suddenly the clouds parted and a deep voice resounded, "Let Go!"
The guy paused and looked up at heaven once more, and said: "Is there anyone else up there?"
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
1, 2, 2, 3, 6, 3
Total: 17 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:44 am
An atheist complained to a Christian friend, "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; and Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays. EVERY religion has its holidays. But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized holidays. It's an unfair discrimination." "What do you mean, atheists have no holidays," his friend replied, "People have been observing a special day in your honor for years." "I don't know what you're talking about," the atheist said, "When is this special day honoring atheists?" "April first."
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
4, 4, 1, 6, 6, 1
Total: 22 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:45 am
How did the priest make holy water?
He took some tap water and boiled the hell out of it
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
1, 6, 4, 3, 1, 2
Total: 17 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:47 am
Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"
The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter , who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.
The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on...a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The woman replies, "I don't know about you but I stepped on a duck"
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
1, 1, 5, 3, 4, 3
Total: 17 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:48 am
A couple made a deal that which ever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. Her biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact.
Mary ... Mary ....
Is that you Fred ?
Yes, I have come back like we agreed.
What is it like?
Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I bath in the sun, then I have sex-twice, I have lunch, then sex pretty all afternoon Supper-then sex till late at night, Sleep then start all over again.
Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven.
Hell no, I'm a rabbit in Texas .
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AmyK02 rolled 6 6-sided dice:
3, 6, 6, 5, 3, 6
Total: 29 (6-36)
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:54 am
Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gate, Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions.
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered..
"1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow."
"2. There are 12 seconds in a year."
"3. God has two first names and they are Andy and Howard ."
Saint Peter said, "OK I'll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why did you ever think that God's first name was either Andy or Howard ?"
Forrest responded, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc......"
"OK, I give" said Saint Peter , "but what about the God's first name stuff?"
Forrest said "Well, from the song... Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own... and the prayer... Our Father who art in Heaven Howard be thy name...."
Saint Peter let him in without further ado.
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