-Both parents were in the military, but died when she was a child
-Uncle was a scientist/researcher in the military, but retired early due to illness (She has the same illness).
-He had an underground laboratory under his house that no one knew about. He abuse/experimented on her for years, resulted in her losing her left eye. (His goal: Find a cure for their illness and obtain immortality by making a machine body in order to live forever) *He became obsessed/insane with idea.
-He kept her in laboratory like a prisoner.
-Eventually, she escaped, but injured herself which resulted in her Uncle bringing her back to the laboratory. To avoid her escaping again, he took both her legs and used them towards his experiments.
-He made a cryogenic machine, setting it for 100 years for him and her to be unfrozen (He thought maybe technology will be more advance in the future)
-Someone found them 10 years early, unfreezing them. She woke with amnesia (She only recalls know how to fight and use a gun, but no memory how she learned it. That was the only thing she knew).
-The person who found them was a bionic mechanic (NPC). He made metal legs for her. After she received her legs, she disappeared.
-She took the time to find more about herself before going into the military
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:42 pm
CelestePhoenix
*Updated Backstory (Changes has been done):
-Both parents were in the military, but died when she was a child
-Uncle was a scientist/researcher in the military, but retired early due to illness (She has the same illness).
-He had an underground laboratory under his house that no one knew about. He abuse/experimented on her for years, resulted in her losing her left eye. (His goal: Find a cure for their illness and obtain immortality by making a machine body in order to live forever) *He became obsessed/insane with idea.
-He kept her in laboratory like a prisoner.
-Eventually, she escaped, but injured herself which resulted in her Uncle bringing her back to the laboratory. To avoid her escaping again, he took both her legs and used them towards his experiments.
-He made a cryogenic machine, setting it for 100 years for him and her to be unfrozen (He thought maybe technology will be more advance in the future)
-Someone found them 10 years early, unfreezing them. She woke with amnesia (She only recalls know how to fight and use a gun, but no memory how she learned it. That was the only thing she knew).
-The person who found them was a bionic mechanic (NPC). He made metal legs for her. After she received her legs, she disappeared.
-She took the time to find more about herself before going into the military
The first two points are fine.
The third is where you start to lose me, mostly because you have this thing going on with insane/obsessed type characters, even if npc in backstory, its getting kind of old and I rather not deal. Its also a lab thats hidden and no one knew about it but then someone just happened to stumbled upon it and decided not to report it for whatever reason. Yeah no....It would make sense if the military went looking because some sketchy s**t (cause there is no way he can do that research without someone noticing),gave up after awhile under the impression he was dead (cause its been like 90 yrs), then decide to do something with his house because again the dude is assumed to be dead and this house is just sitting there in which they find the pods.
So they wake up, what happened to the uncle?
No amnesia at all. We're no longer fine with that. Mostly because I have no idea what youre trying to do with it or what you want with it.
This random npc just helps her?????????? Again with character that does something for no reason just to give her cool stuff. Which this can be fixed if it was the military that found her in my previous point, they figure out who she and her uncle are because they have records of this stuff, give her these legs and retrain her because there is no way a body that's been asleep for 90 years can just get back into being a badass with no problem. And then she works her way to the rank she currently holds through whatever motive you might have for her.
Divine Entropy Vice Captain
Star-Crossed Lightbringer
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CelestePhoenix
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 8:00 pm
-He had an underground laboratory hidden under his house. He abuse/experimented on her for years, resulted in her losing her left eye. (His goal: Find a cure for their illness and obtain immortality by making a machine body in order to live forever)
-Military discovered what was going on and went to put an end to this crap.
-To avoid being caught, Uncle placed them in cryogenic sleep for 90 years.
-Military searched for him, but gave up after awhile, thinking he was dead. They took everything in that house.
-Eventually, military uncovered the pods 90 years later. They had taken both into custody after identifying them.
-The military had given her metal legs, replacing the legs she lost.
-Her uncle received punishment and locked in jail while she joined the military (She worked her way in the ranks)
*I know you had said no to amnesia, due to not understanding what I’m trying to do, but if I can give a reasonable explanation, perhaps you would reconsider ?(I hope this doesn’t come off as pushing. If it’s still a no, then I will discard the amnesia idea)
*Reason: I was planning to make the character stronger personality wise (Rediscover herself in other words). After speaking with Shadow (Which she had good points concerning it), I decided to rethink it better to be more understandable. I hope this is a lot clearer.
- She had woke with amnesia (No memory of her life, but can recall having combat experience and able to use guns)
-She wanted to rediscover herself/make a better life for herself (Better than what she had with her uncle). Military gave her the opportunity to allow her to enlist (Perhaps saw potential in her) and she moved up in ranks.
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:40 pm
CelestePhoenix
Okay, I'm just gonna put everything aside for a second (someone else is gonna come in with other notes) and just focus on the amnesia bit. So, first of all, no that didn't help us, or at least me, understand what you want from this. It sounds like you want her to go through a character arc of rediscovering herself and remembering who she is. That doesn't really work with her in this position as a relatively high ranking officer. At the time in her life you'd be rping her (aka the present time, for the character) she would have to have already remembered everything, otherwise they wouldn't have let her into the military and climb up the ranks. In other words: The amnesia arc, or "her rediscovering herself" would have already happened and would be more of a footnote than anything major. It wouldn't affect her in the present time in her life. If you want to have it as purely backstory and something that's over and done with, I think that's fine but otherwise you'd have to either lower her rank or make it so she's trying to get into the military and not already in it.
xscroomsaw Vice Captain
Space Treasure
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CelestePhoenix
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:49 pm
To make it less of a hassle, I won't include "amnesia arc." Now, to put that aside, was everything else alright?
Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2017 9:41 pm
Okay, I wanted to give you guys draft on what I have so far. Only thing i'm missing is abilities (Still deciding on list).
Username: CelestePhoenix Full Name: Moirai Mavis Branwen “Mavis” Code Name(s): The Wanderer Age: 24 (Frozen for 90 years; technically 114 years old) Race: Human Gender: Female Orientation: Heterosexual Personality: She is a stone-cold/heartless person for the most part. She does not like to show nor express her feelings (She thinks having emotions is a sign of weakness) unless provoked (Short-tempered). She is very stubborn (Difficult to admit to anything) and often arrogant. She prefers to be left alone and should anyone irritate her, she will have no problem to speak her mind. When working, she is more behaved. She is calm, respectful to her superiors and does not question orders. She works hard to get where she is and won’t let anyone distract her. Despite a troublesome past, her will is strong. Her determination makes who she is. No matter the circumstances, she always overcome tough situation while maintaining a calm attitude. She is known to multi-task. She is intelligent and sometimes can persuade herself out of tough situation when needed.
Rank: Sergeant Major from Squad 1 (Military)
Bio:
-Both parents were in the military, but died when she was a child
-Uncle was a scientist/researcher in the military, but retired early due to illness (She has the same illness).
-Uncle had an underground laboratory hidden under his house. He abuse/experimented on her for years, resulted in her losing her left eye. (His goal: Find a cure for their illness and obtain immortality by making a machine body in order to live forever)
-Military discovered what was going on and went to put an end to this crap.
-To avoid being caught, Uncle placed them in cryogenic sleep for 90 years.
-Military searched for him, but gave up after awhile, thinking he was dead. They took everything in that house.
-Eventually, military uncovered the pods 90 years later. They had taken both into custody after identifying them.
-The military had given her metal legs, replacing the legs she lost.
-Her uncle received punishment and locked in jail while she joined the military (She worked her way in the ranks)
Abilities:
Coming soon (Still deciding on abilities)
Weapon of Choice:
Her left arm is made of metal (Due to losing her arm) with a small blade attached to it. She has close combat experience due to military. She is proficient with certain gun weapons: Hand guns, sniper rifle (Work only), and machine gun (Work only). Her specialty is her sniper gun and can shoot from a far away distance (Only carries it around when needed). Mostly, she has several hand guns (4 total: 2 attached to her belt and 2 hidden at her ankles. She has the hand guns with her at all time).
She has a glass left eye that allows her to do the following: 1) Able to scan/see from a certain distance (10 ft) 2) Able to lock onto a target (Helps her when she snipes/aim at someone to make a direct hit)
CelestePhoenix
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Divine Entropy Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:37 am
CelestePhoenix
Okay, I wanted to give you guys draft on what I have so far. Only thing i'm missing is abilities (Still deciding on list).
Username: CelestePhoenix Full Name: Moirai Mavis Branwen “Mavis” Code Name(s): The Wanderer Age: 24 (Frozen for 90 years; technically 114 years old) Race: Human Gender: Female Orientation: Heterosexual Personality: She is a stone-cold/heartless person for the most part. She does not like to show nor express her feelings (She thinks having emotions is a sign of weakness) unless provoked (Short-tempered). She is very stubborn (Difficult to admit to anything) and often arrogant. She prefers to be left alone and should anyone irritate her, she will have no problem to speak her mind. When working, she is more behaved. She is calm, respectful to her superiors and does not question orders. She works hard to get where she is and won’t let anyone distract her. Despite a troublesome past, her will is strong. Her determination makes who she is. No matter the circumstances, she always overcome tough situation while maintaining a calm attitude. She is known to multi-task. She is intelligent and sometimes can persuade herself out of tough situation when needed.
Rank: Sergeant Major from Squad 1 (Military)
Bio:
-Both parents were in the military, but died when she was a child
-Uncle was a scientist/researcher in the military, but retired early due to illness (She has the same illness).
-Uncle had an underground laboratory hidden under his house. He abuse/experimented on her for years, resulted in her losing her left eye. (His goal: Find a cure for their illness and obtain immortality by making a machine body in order to live forever)
-Military discovered what was going on and went to put an end to this crap.
-To avoid being caught, Uncle placed them in cryogenic sleep for 90 years.
-Military searched for him, but gave up after awhile, thinking he was dead. They took everything in that house.
-Eventually, military uncovered the pods 90 years later. They had taken both into custody after identifying them.
-The military had given her metal legs, replacing the legs she lost.
-Her uncle received punishment and locked in jail while she joined the military (She worked her way in the ranks)
Abilities:
Coming soon (Still deciding on abilities)
Weapon of Choice:
Her left arm is made of metal (Due to losing her arm) with a small blade attached to it. She has close combat experience due to military. She is proficient with certain gun weapons: Hand guns, sniper rifle (Work only), and machine gun (Work only). Her specialty is her sniper gun and can shoot from a far away distance (Only carries it around when needed). Mostly, she has several hand guns (4 total: 2 attached to her belt and 2 hidden at her ankles. She has the hand guns with her at all time).
She has a glass left eye that allows her to do the following: 1) Able to scan/see from a certain distance (10 ft) 2) Able to lock onto a target (Helps her when she snipes/aim at someone to make a direct hit)
Personality: I don't know the full extent you talked about with shadow, but we have several unfeeling/unemotional type characters. She can think showing emotions/too much emotion is a sign of weakness and get frustrated with herself, but i'd rather not add another potential sociopath or psychopath who doesn't feel anything/is cold all the time. Not to mention her being stubborn and short tempered starts the contradict the unemotional aspect of her and starts to make her said sociopath or psychopath.
Bio: It's still rather wonky because it doesn't explain how she actually got in. Cause the military, at least not that I know of, wouldn't just take in an orphan to train (no child soldiers remember) randomly regardless of family history. They might help her out a bit, but not force her into the military. She would have to make that commitment herself, given her personality she probably joined to become stronger both physically and mentally, maybe even have a chance at helping/preventing someone else in a similar situation as her. That is up to you, though.
Abilities: "1)Able to scan/see from a certain distance (10 ft) 2)Able to lock onto a target (Helps her when she snipes/aim at someone to make a direct hit) "
That's part of your abilities, you can add on, but those are abilities. For now with those two make sure to be respectful about them. And honestly I think that's good as is cause it works for her character and profession.
Weapons: You gave her 6 guns. We told you three. One big one (the sniper that she only uses on a job) and two hand guns.
Edit and repost with changes.
Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 1:20 pm
CelestePhoenix
Okay, so I know I'm just here popping up out of the blue, but this time I felt that maybe I should hop on in here and be the one to say something this time around instead of letting the others handle everything.
They are all a bit stressed out right about now, especially because we had already had a warning issued about kicking someone in an rp because they were being especially difficult more recently, and that if you were too difficult, the same would happen to you. Now, to some extent you have actually tried to work with everyone, and I can say you did good on the small amount you did at least, and we are grateful you decided to take out the amnesia, because obviously that just wasn't going to work out. However, you were told your character could have a total of three guns, and you completely ignored that, giving her four handguns, a sniper, and a machinegun? Sorry but that isn't how that works. She gets her sniper, as you asked for that she can only carry when on the job, and two handguns that she can keep on her, nothing more.
It was very clearly stated that she can have three guns, and that they need to be clearly listed, and Void clearly said one was the sniper that you wanted for her.
And on top of that there was even more I've heard they were struggling with with you, so it's been decided by the vice's and the captain themselves that something needs to be done about it.
In this guild there are a total of three strikes. Strike one is a warning, Strike Two is a limit on character creation, and Strike Three is the person being kicked.
The first time we let it go, because this was your first real rp. We were willing to try and work with you, and we explained to you the rules, and everything else. We told you that there was only so much we were willing to let people do, that you were to keep your eyes on the restriction list and don't try to find a loop hole or way around the personality and ability restrictions, and that things were to be listed exactly where they were supposed to be and not somewhere else on the profile as a way to try and get around it being counted as an ability.
Your second character was the start of the first strike, the third was the rest of that first strike and was pushing for the second, and now your fourth...?
It's pushed you to the second strike. Strike two, as said before, means that from now on, you can no longer make anymore characters. The process of trying to help you make one is taxing, and more difficult than it should be. Especially when almost all of your characters are attempts at making the same type of personality with maybe a few small adjustments or changes in order to try and get them to appear different when really they aren't, and a similar "let's try for an npc that will give me what I wanted for my character but couldn't have because people said no." Or "because I want a way to give my character these things without having to have them as part of my character." thing.
Don't try and be sneaky with us, and if we tell you no on a personality trait or have restricted it before, or have it restricted on the list in general, that generally means no. Your character is pushing for Sociopathic which is restricted as is. Mikael is basically a Psychopath with some small differences...and I really don't feel I need to go on about that. Putting abilities in other sections will not get them around being abilities. Going around peoples backs to ask someone else will not work. Also it's a no for child soldiers which they told you several times from what I've seen. You still kept trying for it. It's a no and it stays that way. It will never be a thing.
Now I hear you're deciding on abilities and have already been told no about at least one or two of them (might have been one it wasn't entirely clear in chat and I plan on clarifying with Shadow.)
I'm here to inform you that you are now on strike two, and to let you know that right now, you are getting another warning. Be reasonable with the ability decisions, don't try to go overboard, and don't go for something overpowered or that would make no sense with your character. Work with us, not against us, don't try and be sneaky.
If you are too difficult in this, or any other part of character creation here, you will receive your third strike, and will have to be removed from this rp.
I hope you understand that this is not a joke. We have had too many incidents lately with people, and though I want to believe you will work with us this time, our patience is kind of running thin. If you receive this strike. I'm sorry, but we will remove you.
xX-Abyss-Rayne-Xx Vice Captain
Mystical Lunatic
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PumPkinPiro1994
Winter Sage
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:43 pm
Does the Military still need people, and if so would you guys like me to make a character for the Military?
Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:21 pm
PumPkinPiro1994
Does the Military still need people, and if so would you guys like me to make a character for the Military?
We're definitely not against it man! Yeah we could really use some more people. bonus points if it's a girl, cause those are kinda in short supply there lmao. But don't feel pressured to man make whoever you want
xscroomsaw Vice Captain
Space Treasure
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PumPkinPiro1994
Winter Sage
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:01 pm
xScroomsaw
PumPkinPiro1994
Does the Military still need people, and if so would you guys like me to make a character for the Military?
We're definitely not against it man! Yeah we could really use some more people. bonus points if it's a girl, cause those are kinda in short supply there lmao. But don't feel pressured to man make whoever you want
I always make girls so.... YAY!!!!
Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:04 pm
PumPkinPiro1994
xScroomsaw
PumPkinPiro1994
Does the Military still need people, and if so would you guys like me to make a character for the Military?
We're definitely not against it man! Yeah we could really use some more people. bonus points if it's a girl, cause those are kinda in short supply there lmao. But don't feel pressured to man make whoever you want
I always make girls so.... YAY!!!!
Awesome dude!
xscroomsaw Vice Captain
Space Treasure
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CelestePhoenix
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:23 pm
*Updated Profile (Thanks so much for the help/idea, Shadow!)
Username: CelestePhoenix Full Name: Moirai Mavis Branwen “Mavis” Code Name(s): The Wanderer Age: 24 (Frozen for 400 years (Age 19 at the time); technically 424 years old) Race: Enhanced human/Demon Subtype Gender: Female Orientation: Heterosexual Personality: Stubborn, but kind. More blunt and aggressive, but comes off more as that friend that tries to boss you around and a mother figure, being protective of those she cared about. After the experiments, her personality shifted, becoming more angry and confused. She doesn't fully understand why her uncle was doing this and doesn't want or like the methods. Not to mention being upset that she was dying. After she wakes up, she had retained that stubbornness and frustration, but mostly doesn’t understand the changes in the world. She has trouble connecting with others because she comes from a different time. She is more reserved because she doesn't know what to do, but is trying to make the best of it.
Rank: Sergeant Major from Squad 1 (Military)
Bio: Moirai was born towards the end of the second war when her parents died in battle. Her uncle had taken her in, raising her. She, along with her uncle developed a sickness, Tuberculosis, and slowly dying from it. The Uncle was racked with grief. He doesn't want to die or lose his niece. Desperately, he used his knowledge that he received with the military, being a researcher and aligned himself with radical humans who hate demons and want them gone permanently. After a few years he wasn’t making much progress, but he's dying and needed something. Even though he hates demons, he knew they have a higher resistance to human illnesses. He used demon dna to try to cure himself and Moirai, but due to lack of technology in those time, she wasn’t able to. So, he placed Moirai in cryogenic state (Freezing her) until he discovered how to cure them. In the end, her uncle died from the illness and she was forgotten. 400 years later, someone discovered the pod and unfroze her. With technology so advanced and her body's change, she was able to be cured. Unfortunately, there were complication in the freezing process and she lost one of her arms and a leg to frostbite. Her other leg has also suffered scarring and nerve damage. The research her uncle did is currently lost, so for now she has to live with the alterations to her body. Afterwards, she joined the military for structure and because her parents were a part of it, giving her connection to them.
Weapon of Choice:
Her left arm is made of metal (Due to losing her arm) with a small blade attached to it. She has close combat experience due to military. She is proficient with certain gun weapons: hand guns and sniper rifle (Work only). Her specialty is her sniper gun and can shoot from a far away distance (Only carries it around when needed). Mostly, she has two hand guns (1 attached to her belt/waist area and other hidden at her ankle. She has the hand guns with her at all time).
Abilities:
Advanced Healing: Wounds heal at a faster rate than normal. Light wounds only take a day or so to be completely gone, with minimal scarring. This would include shallow cuts, scratches and light bruising. Deep wounds still take time, but only about half of what it would be for a person. This includes deep cuts, gunshot wounds, burns, etc. They would still need treatment for these wounds or they would risk bleeding out. This doesn't protect the person from all illnesses or poisons, but does help in the recovery from them . Advanced Sight: Can see twice as far as human with clear vision (roughly 400 ft). This helps with low light vision up to 200ft and does not grant the person dark vision.
Bullet Shield: An ability he can only use on herself. This allows him to throw up a near invisible energy field around herself that will temporarily protect them from projectiles that act in a similar fashion to bullets. (Actual bullets, darts, arrows.) It will either last two minutes or will deflect up to six bullets, or five arrows and/or bolts before it breaks. This ability is meant to give the person either time to escape line of fire, or for them to get closer to the target / to use a skill that may incapacitate the target. Unnatural bullets will be able to be deflected twice before the barrier breaks. This ability requires quite a bit of focus and may make it a bit more difficult for him to act as she shields herself. Can only be used up to 4 times in a day, and it takes and requires an hour to two for it to be usable again.
Glitterdust: A cloud of golden particles covers everyone and everything in the area, causing them to become blinded and visibly outlining invisible things for the duration of the ability. All within the area are covered by the dust, which cannot be removed and continues to sparkle until it fades. It lasts for about 1 to 2 minutes and can't be used again for an hour or so after she's used it. This ability can only be used 3 times a day.
Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:04 pm
CelestePhoenix
This is much better, however raven does have the final say so we'll be sure to let her know its up ^^
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