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 Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 3:06 pm
 "Don't be a Hoover... We should make T-shirts and sell them to incoming freshmen."
"You percussionists are staring like the music as if it's going to run off the page! (Mocks percussionists) 'Huh-huh, I gotta watch this, the whole note might go away!'"
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:01 pm
"Hannah Montanna is anti-christ"
He received a round of applause from us.
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Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:49 pm
ok well my band teacher was making fun of the trumpets in the beginning band and said thats they were slurring to much it sounded like a mariachi(if thats how u spell it)band then he started saying they were acting like a Mexican choobaka(if thats how u spell it) lol yeah my band teacher has probs
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Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:13 pm
Bahaha. Today. It was the funniest thing
She was telling us to get into it, or something. I forget. But our DM goes, "C'mon you guys, we gotta go balls deep," and she looks at him like, "Hey!....We gotta go BELLS deep."
asdfghj it was so funny.
and I really forget how it came up, but she said "Okay you guys, we gotta hit it and quit it!" and every starts cracking up, then she goes, "Wha....O.o...o.o...oh...you guys!"
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Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:36 am
One of the funny things my band director has said while we were tuning our instruments was" if your flat, pull it out(makes a hole with his index finger and thumb on the left hand and then puts his right index finger in that hole) and if your sharp, pull it out'' (and does the same thing except pull it out).... Another thing he says to the trumpets is "Push it!! Push it!!" cuz the trumpets in the concert and beginning band have very bad omberchure(if thats how you spell it) and theyre always slouching like they r tired (by the way i play BASSOON in symphonic band, and in marching band i play BASS CLARINET).... so heres to a new school year... FOR BMS 8TH GRADERS, 2010-2011!!! biggrin
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Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:43 am
Flying cows go down and eat babies
Babies go down and eat gross cow flies
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2010 6:46 pm
Not our band director cause we don't have one, but the choir director who si running band camp said this.
Head DM: *plugs in small fan and goes back to standing on his stool with the fan blowing up at him*
Harris: You getting hot or something? I've never tried putting a fan up my pants.
Everyone: O.O
Harris: New way to prevent chafing: Blow cold air up your shorts.
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:54 pm
Haha. One time my band teacher was talking to the guitar player and said, "Could you please tighten your g-string?" The whole class went hysterical...
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Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:44 pm
I do remember during our ensemble's trip to Boston, the orchestra director of the school gathered every fine arts student into the ballroom for a discussion on how to behave in the hotel. No boy was to enter a girl's room, and vice versa. But the way she cautioned that to us was the most hilarious thing. She told us: "Whatever you guys want to do, do it in the ballroom, in the kitchen, anywhere you want, just don't do it in the bedroom." xd
Our actual band director has always had this effortless habit of making musical jargon dirty. Perhaps it isn't his fault since a lot of the instruments and playing techniques we use have some extremely obvious sexual references. But I remember a time when he was teaching everyone to double tongue. He told us it was an essential skill we'd need later on in life. I asked him, "for what kind of tasks?" He replied "Oh, you know, in music...and other things..."
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 7:30 pm
At Band Camp yesterday, we were all at set and then our band director yells to a couple kids:
"Stop touching yourselves!!"
And he actually said this a couple more times throughout the day, too.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:43 pm
so our band director uses a speaker for marching band so he doesnt have to yell and one time its stopped working so he was trying to get it to work and finally it worked right as he was saying "hello" now the part that is funny is the way he said it. he said it really low and since our song that we were on at the moment was Halo theme (from the video game halo) one of the kids asked him to say Head shot with the same voice he didnt though
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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:23 am
One time my band teacher said "You need to play light a 400lb black man!" to try and get me to play louder in Jazz band. It was kind of racist, but hey, it got the message across.
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 6:09 pm
Hartmetz: *hiding in the band room from the colorguard instructors in his office*
Me: ...what are you doing?
Hartmetz: SHH. I'm hiding from Ashworth and Flowers.
Ashworth and Flowers: Did you hear Sean?
Hartmetz: No! *flees to the instrument room*
Ashworth and Flowers: There he is! *follows*
Me: Hartmetz, I need the old xylophone tire to fix the vibes. Can you get it since you're in there?
H: *hands it to me while walking out the instrument room* Sure. Shhh. >_>
Me: Gotcha.
Ashworth and Flowers: *sneak up from the other door* HARTMETZ. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT OUR [colorguard] GIRLS AND THE DRILL.
Hartmetz: NOOOOO.
Gotta love directors who act like children sometimes. xD
Hartmetz: Pit! I have a big job for you burly weight-lifters.
Me: *looks around the half of the section present: all three of us are relatively scrawny girls* Oh yeah, we're so buff.
Note: Ciara always takes Jordan seriously, especially when he's kidding.
Ciara: *raises hand*
Percussion instructor, Jordan: Yes, Ciara?
Ciara: Yeah I have a question...it's kind of unrelated but it's about you--
Jordan: No.
Ciara: I just wanted to know how you got that scar on your forehead!
Jordan: I was hit by a car.
Ciara: I have a followup question to that--
Jordan: Don't ask if I'm serious again...because that's like obviously a true story.
Ciara: No, I wasn't, I--
Jordan: Because it actually happened when my friend and I got in a knife fight and she stabbed me in the face and my eye fell out.
Ciara: I hate when that happens.
Probably not that funny, but still...
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Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 1:53 pm
Bob (our BD): There's twelve days till the first home game of the season. You did a great job today...I want you to march better every day. If we keep doing that, we'll kick a**!
Clarinet: LOL BOB SAID "a**"
Other clarinet: Bob says many words like that...
hmm...Is there a thread for band quotes in general, not just BD quotes? Well, anyway, our DM said this, but he kind of runs the band too so w/e.
DM: We really need you to make a commitment to attend every home game. If enough people don't show up, there are holes in the block. And when there are holes in the block, we look bad. And when we look bad, I am sad! And when I am sad, I'm not happy. And when I'm not happy...NO ONE'S HAPPY.
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Posted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 10:39 am
rodn story: Our band director moved, so now the choir director is in charge of band, orchestra and choir.
Harris: In these two weeks of teaching all the music classes i have found out 1 thing about performance days.
Band asks more questions then any human ever should
Orchestra asks the longest questions youll ever not pay attention to
Choir forgets to ask questions
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