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 Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 4:16 pm
During band there was this thing going on where anyone who wanted to go to the gym and do something (it was something about silence I cant even remember exactly) I stayed cuz I didn't feel like moving and one of our 2 tubas stayed (there were other people but they arn't important to the story right now.) we were all just sitting waiting for the others to return when the other tuba player walks in."come one. let's go.
Him:"no..I don't wanna."
Her:"Allie wants you. come one." (Allie is his gf)
Him:*sighs and gets up* "ok...."
BD:*laughs so hard almost pees self, and almost falls of edge of stage* "He is so whipped!!!!!!"
Everyone:*laughs*
when everyone was back he was telling the storycuz it was so funny. BD: He is so whipped!!!!!
horn player surprised h, and you arn't (refering to his wife)
Everyone:laughs*
BD:*looks up and rolls eyes smacking mouth once obviously annoyed* that's different
random person (can't remember who): yeah..it's different! he has a ring!
Everyone:*laughs harder*
it was great...even more funny if you were there and knew my band teacher and his wife....
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Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 5:42 pm
So my director was being weird and decided he wanted to play his baritone for a couple days. So he had students running the band.
Well, one day he sends this past season's assistant dm up to conduct the entire piece. Well, the dM picks up our BD's baton and starts tapping a tempo with it like our bd does. We fall apart so he stops us.
BD: Lets do that again.
DM: Sure
BD: By the way, its polite to ask soemone before you use their baton(he says it like it is his most priced posession)
DM(looking extremely scared because our bd sounded demonic): Erm...Can i use your baton?
BD: Sure!(eerie, giant grin)
Everyoen(including DM): ...
Later when our bd was gone and had the same dm in charge
DM(really fast): Hey can i use your baton? Sure! Okay cool!(counts us off)
He even did little motions as if actually asking the bdXD We all burst out laughing.
Then yesterday our bd was at a meeting so we were watching a movie, which was walk the Line. We were at the part where Johnny is auditioning at the first record place and the guy denies him because he is singing gospel. Well, bd walks in as the guy says "you never brought it home"(or soemthing like that) And Johnny sings a really low note and our bd out of nowhere says "Thats beringing it home". Then when Johnny gets back home after that scene and his wife asks if he is drunk, oru bd says "only slightly".
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Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 5:19 pm
"Never measure your numbers while adjusting your airspace!"
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Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 6:42 pm
one day our assistant director was talking to us about practicing, and what he said goes something like this
"its about what you do here during class and what you do alone in your room every night."
we all bursted out laughing, and to top it all of Adam (the baritone section leader was like
" he was talking about practicing. GOD, you bunch of perverts!"
it was so funny, if only you all could've been there.
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Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 7:02 pm
we had a fire drill and somebody in my class triped and fell on the floor with a clarinet in her hands and my band teacher said Is the clarinet okay
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Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 7:11 pm
"I'm sorry I can't be like all the skinny girls in the class, where they can suck in the extra gut they Have. For getting pregnant kinda makes you large, and you don't have the luxery of attracting boys. Anyways, don't flip one day if it looks like I've urinated. Just my water breaking!" ^_^
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Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 10:58 pm
ummm... my bd is sorta funny he loves to tell jokes and poke fun at people any time.
for halloween (or spirit week, I can't remember.) one of the saxophone players dressed as a girl. he came in late to band and said "I'm late 'cause jeff (the hall monitor.) made me go put on some pants..." there was a small pause then mr. Degnan said "you sexy beast!" the whole class was giggling.
another time was when another sax player got so mad she yelled "BULL CRAP!!" mr.Degnan looked at her mad then said "EXCUSE ME! it's bull FECES!" that made the freshmen laugh.
another time was in jazz band. (im not sure if i told this story all ready.) we were playing "misty" and our vocalist didn't show up. so he started singing and playing he trumpet at the same time. he started singing fast in order to play the next note and he sang so high for a man his age. he sounded like miss piggy! the whole band was laughing.
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 7:01 pm
i would advise you not to read the second one if you have a virgin mind...that is all
this was all during full orch, so half and half here
so my band director is play bariton for full orch becaue we need bariton. she gets up and gose and talkes to a percusinist and 10 min later, she comes back lughing, we asked her whats so funny. (the orchester director was working with flutes and viloins) she told us that she started a conversation about tampons and condum. we luagh and give her weird looks and she retaliates by saying, what, we were talking about feminin hygine. (female percusonist by the way)
orch director. were playing america in paris and bacchanale for full orch
during one of our parts, (trumpet) he stops and say you guys sound kinda drunk. [crusenoding to much.] then he stops. well maybe you should..this is pretty much abouk drinking and orgies. we all laugh...and someone flings her arms in the air and says orgies. i say, well at least he blunt about it.
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 6:01 pm
We had a trumpet tryout for who gets the solo on this one Holst piece, and all of them sucked...
Hartmetz: So, Mr. Hasko, who do you think should play it?
Hasko: Huh?
Hartmetz: The march. Who's getting the solo?
Hasko: Well, certainly NOT the trumpets. Maybe the trombones...
Hartmetz: Oh, I know. We can have you play it on soprano sax. ...oh god, there must be some special level of Hell for that. You playing soprano sax on a trumpet part for a HOLST piece.
Hasko: Yep. Fourth level.
Hartmetz: I was thinking fifth. Darn.
Hartmetz: Guys, I'll put this as bluntly as I can: none of you can play that solo. Michael, you did good in the lower register but your upper notes were iffy; DD, you hit all the notes but cracked them all too; Will, you had great tone but couldn't hit all the notes; James, you were just inconsistent and all over the place with everything, and Phil...you didn't practice.
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Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 8:31 pm
May called our lower band a giant oxymoron today.
We were working on pomp and circumstance(kill me now) and he was conducting a crescendo. He cuts us off and says:
"Usually, when a conductor waves his arms like this-"(overexagerates)"-you are meant to get louder. You guys, however, got softer. congratulations, you are now a living oxymoron."
So we try again. We folow his crescendo, but then he starts slwoing down and only a few people do. So he cuts us off again.
"Pay attention to the baton! I even painted it gold! You can enver go wrogn if you follow the golden baton!"
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 3:12 pm
Hartmetz: Let's play Can't Take That Away From Me.
Tucker: *dies laughing* Oh god, I started singing that in Government when there was a discussion about abortion...
Hartmetz: WHAT. YOU...THAT'S...I DON'T...LOL WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THIS.
Everyone else: *dies*
Hartmetz: Wait, how'd the lacrosse team do last night?
Tucker: I dunno, ask Robbie [bassist who plays lacrosse]...if he shows up.
Me: Or wait for the announcements.
Hartmetz: If they made it then--
Robbie: *shows up for the first time in months*
Hartmetz: ROBBIE. How'd lacrosse do last night?
Robbie: ...huh?
Hartmetz: ...wasn't there a game last night?
Robbie: The game's TONIGHT.
Hartmetz: ...*glares at Tucker*
Tucker: Hey, don't look at me, I thought it was last night too.
Robbie: ...wow, guys. Wow. I actually thought I missed the game for a second, too. Thanks, H. I needed a heart attack at 8 in the morning.
Hartmetz: Hey, I'm running on four hours of sleep. Shut up.
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Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 10:55 pm
We were getting our varsity awards for band in class one day and the trumpetss get tired of stoppping and starting with the clapping so they just keep clapping. well, they end up all clapping in tempo at the same tempo. After a bit of this our bd stops and watchs them.
May:I think I've never heard the trumpets keep a steady tempo for this long.
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Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 12:20 pm
We were rehearsing one day, and one of the trombone's slides flew out, and our director said "You guys are retarded." and every one said "We prefer being called ritards thank you very much." It was funny.
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Posted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:12 am
Every year for graduation, we have to loop the Pomp and our recessional. Hartmetz gives us sign language signals to tell us where we're going.
Hartmetz: Okay, so I'm going to give you this...*signs 'A'* if we're going back to A when we get to I. I'll give you this...*signs 'I'* if we're continuing on and it's the last time. And if you don't understand that, there is another signal I could give but it wouldn't be appropriate...
And that sparked a five minute discussion on how there is no hand signal in the world that doesn't offend someone somewhere, complete with demonstrations.
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:52 pm
well recently there's this percussion player named Mark Grant. (He always seems to be provoking people to pick on him.) well most times he talks with a lisp. It always comes out when he says anything with a "D" in it. My band Director 's name is Mr. Adams.
He called his name and eneded up saying "..Mr. Adtams" His d sounded like a "duh " sound. we busted out laughing. Since then we always make fun of him and how he talks. he even sounded like a duck which earned him the name "Daffy Duck".
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