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 Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 5:02 pm
onixdragon Nicolasmatt Zolo walked to his new new apartment room. Then Zolo said,"Room twelve." He unlocked the door and saw that his stuff was already settled."Dad already put my stuff in here?" Zolo said in a confused look. He walked to his room and laid his ninja supplies down on the sofa."Dad went out to the land of sand early but still manage to put the sofa in my room?" Zolo said as he was thinking how that was possible. Zolo walked out of the apartment."Well from now on I am on my own. Dad is not going be here to baby me,I am a ninja now.Although I still have to find out how dad got things done fast",Zolo said as he was looking at the birds chirping in the trees. Then he remembered that his sensei and squad were at the training field."I have to get to the training area fast." He ran to the training field. no pass. i said proof read it that means to check for mistakes no that time that was typeos because i spell checked and all that is not how it came out dude
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 5:08 pm
Nicolasmatt onixdragon Nicolasmatt Zolo walked to his new new apartment room. Then Zolo said,"Room twelve." He unlocked the door and saw that his stuff was already settled."Dad already put my stuff in here?" Zolo said in a confused look. He walked to his room and laid his ninja supplies down on the sofa."Dad went out to the land of sand early but still manage to put the sofa in my room?" Zolo said as he was thinking how that was possible. Zolo walked out of the apartment."Well from now on I am on my own. Dad is not going be here to baby me,I am a ninja now.Although I still have to find out how dad got things done fast",Zolo said as he was looking at the birds chirping in the trees. Then he remembered that his sensei and squad were at the training field."I have to get to the training area fast." He ran to the training field. no pass. i said proof read it that means to check for mistakes no that time that was typeos because i spell checked and all that is not how it came out dude i know its not cuz i fixed it. if you re-read it before you post it you would catch the typos. and typos are grammatical errors. laziness doesn't fly here. if your don't do it right here then how are we gonna know you will do it right in the villages. we take literacy very seriously here.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:17 am
sorry for my rudeness i have been under a lot of stress lately. sweatdrop . but anyway your post is good but you just need to work on your grammar a little. try one more time. i know you can get it if you try. oh and when i said you can be banned for deleting posts i meant if you do it in an rp thread. a village for example.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:23 am
Nicolas - though I have my disagreements with onix's particular approach... Firstly, allow me to clear up a major misunderstanding... Not passing here is not a bannable offense. I do not comprehend where certain others have conceived such ideas. You're welcome to try again until understanding the nature of such cornerstone problems.
However, I second the noticeable grammatical problems. You're not very strong in tenses, but spelling wise I would say you're pretty well off and that is indeed a plus. Also, using proper capitalization and punctuation is a plus too. As much as the problems apparent have been exaggerated, you're certainly not the worst I have run across. I have seen absolutely atrocious samples with problems in all three major fundamental areas of writing...
But please keep in mind, those who are a bit weaker in the grammatical foundation we urge to proofread not because it is of such fun to be grammar nazis but because when you're rping here, fellow rpers have the tendency to ignore grammatically-unattractive posts, just as they would tend to shy away from reading spelling-deficient and posts lacking proper capitalization/punctuation.
See...there are those of us who have been raised in strict grammar schools, so it is very uncomfortable to even attempt to completely through a literacy-deficient post. Personally, I have great discomfort with virtually-flat RP as well but that is another story, because this is only a semi-literate guild.
As for now, the standards rest on acceptable grammatical construction.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:28 am
ProtoXtreme Nicolas - though I have my disagreements with onix's particular approach... Firstly, allow me to clear up a major misunderstanding... Not passing here is not a bannable offense. I do not comprehend where certain others have conceived such ideas. You're welcome to try again until understanding the nature of such cornerstone problems. However, I second the noticeable grammatical problems. You're not very strong in tenses,but spelling wise I would say you're pretty well off and that is indeed a plus. Also, using proper capitalization and punctuation is a plus too. As much as the problems apparent have been exaggerated, you're certainly not the worst I have run across. But please keep in mind, those who are a bit weaker in the grammatical foundation we urge to proofread not because it is of such fun to be grammar nazis but because when you're rping here, fellow rpers have the tendency to ignore grammatically-unattractive posts, just as they would tend to shy away from reading spelling-deficient and posts lacking proper capitalization/punctuation. See...there are those of us who have been raised in strict grammar schools, so it is very uncomfortable to even attempt to completely through a literacy-deficient post. Personally, I have great discomfort with virtually-flat RP as well but that is another story, because this is only a semi-literate guild. As for now, the standards rest on acceptable grammatical construction. what she said...and i never said not passing here is a bannable offense...although if you don't pass her you get stuck in a weird limbo until you do pass O.o XD
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 7:58 am
Hello. My Character is Sheenio Hemora and I'm HOPING to get into Sunakagure. Here is my sample:
-------------
Sheenio swooped down from the tree and looked around. SHe was surrounded by other shinobi, she could sense it, but where were they? She took a battle stance and readied herself. Drawing her shuriken, she closed her eyes and focused. The sound.....THERE! She hurled her weapons quickly---YES she got him!
-----------
I know it sounds lame but there it is... -.-
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:00 am
Sheenio_Hemora Hello. My Character is Sheenio Hemora and I'm HOPING to get into Sunakagure. Here is my sample: ------------- Sheenio swooped down from the tree and looked around. SHe was surrounded by other shinobi, she could sense it, but where were they? She took a battle stance and readied herself. Drawing her shuriken, she closed her eyes and focused. The sound.....THERE! She hurled her weapons quickly---YES she got him! ----------- I know it sounds lame but there it is... -.- kinda short. posts in this guild are required to be at least 4 lines. can you try to make it a little longer.
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:56 am
onixdragon Sheenio_Hemora Hello. My Character is Sheenio Hemora and I'm HOPING to get into Sunakagure. Here is my sample: ------------- Sheenio swooped down from the tree and looked around. SHe was surrounded by other shinobi, she could sense it, but where were they? She took a battle stance and readied herself. Drawing her shuriken, she closed her eyes and focused. The sound.....THERE! She hurled her weapons quickly---YES she got him! ----------- I know it sounds lame but there it is... -.- kinda short. posts in this guild are required to be at least 4 lines. can you try to make it a little longer. sure thing ^^ I wasn't sure how long but here ya go: Sheenio swooped down from the tree and looked around. She was surrounded by other shinobi, she could sense it, but where were they? She took a battle stance and readied herself. Drawing her shuriken, she closed her eyes and focused. The sound.....THERE! She hurled her weapons quickly---YES she got him! She walked over and bent over to examine her prey. Who is this? she wondered. But now was not the time to get distracted. A kunai shot through the brush and grazed her cheek. She immediately ran and hid behind a tree, focusing once more. Once she collected herself, she jumped out from her hiding spot and threw three kunai into the dark shadows: explosion tags clipped on. As the heat chased her feet, Sheenio ran towards another tree and tacked on another explosion tag. She zig-zagged through the woods, until at last she stumbled into a daylight; Konohagakure in front of her in it's glory. o.o' I hope that's better. X_X
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:07 pm
Just for the sake of my ability to do this sample, Im going to play my squad, which in the actual guild, I wont. This is just to help me while posting this sample.
-Thank you
Roleplay Sample:
Kotomi was ahead of the rest of her squad as they ran through the forest, heading to Konohagakure. She stopped with her dog, Sayori, on the branch and waited for the rest to catch up. After what seemed like a while, the rest of her squad did stop with her. "Something wrong?" her best friend Daisuke asked.
"There are three ninja up ahead. Their chakra level is incredible! Sayori doesnt want to continue." Kotomi said, picking up her small pet.
"Ah come on girl. Its okay." Komaru said, petting the small dog.
"Lets continue." Kotomi said, and held Sayori and started to take off again.
The trees all started to disappear as the three appeared in a field. The field was huge and she didnt know where the ninja were hiding. "So where is your scary ninja-" Daisuke was saying before three kunai came and hit him, Daisuke falling to the ground. But luckily they came prepared and the Daisuke next to them disappeared into a cloud of smoke, a log appearing where he had been. Komaru and Kotomi looked around at where the kunai came from. Once spotted, Kotomi and Komaru charged into battle.
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:31 pm
Sheenio_Hemora onixdragon Sheenio_Hemora Hello. My Character is Sheenio Hemora and I'm HOPING to get into Sunakagure. Here is my sample: ------------- Sheenio swooped down from the tree and looked around. SHe was surrounded by other shinobi, she could sense it, but where were they? She took a battle stance and readied herself. Drawing her shuriken, she closed her eyes and focused. The sound.....THERE! She hurled her weapons quickly---YES she got him! ----------- I know it sounds lame but there it is... -.- kinda short. posts in this guild are required to be at least 4 lines. can you try to make it a little longer. sure thing ^^ I wasn't sure how long but here ya go: Sheenio swooped down from the tree and looked around. She was surrounded by other shinobi, she could sense it, but where were they? She took a battle stance and readied herself. Drawing her shuriken, she closed her eyes and focused. The sound.....THERE! She hurled her weapons quickly---YES she got him! She walked over and bent over to examine her prey. Who is this? she wondered. But now was not the time to get distracted. A kunai shot through the brush and grazed her cheek. She immediately ran and hid behind a tree, focusing once more. Once she collected herself, she jumped out from her hiding spot and threw three kunai into the dark shadows: explosion tags clipped on. As the heat chased her feet, Sheenio ran towards another tree and tacked on another explosion tag. She zig-zagged through the woods, until at last she stumbled into a daylight; Konohagakure in front of her in it's glory. o.o' I hope that's better. X_X pass. why does everyone use konoha. suna is a good village too XD
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:32 pm
Hikari_Light5478 Just for the sake of my ability to do this sample, Im going to play my squad, which in the actual guild, I wont. This is just to help me while posting this sample. -Thank you Roleplay Sample:Kotomi was ahead of the rest of her squad as they ran through the forest, heading to Konohagakure. She stopped with her dog, Sayori, on the branch and waited for the rest to catch up. After what seemed like a while, the rest of her squad did stop with her. "Something wrong?" her best friend Daisuke asked. "There are three ninja up ahead. Their chakra level is incredible! Sayori doesnt want to continue." Kotomi said, picking up her small pet. "Ah come on girl. Its okay." Komaru said, petting the small dog. "Lets continue." Kotomi said, and held Sayori and started to take off again. The trees all started to disappear as the three appeared in a field. The field was huge and she didnt know where the ninja were hiding. "So where is your scary ninja-" Daisuke was saying before three kunai came and hit him, Daisuke falling to the ground. But luckily they came prepared and the Daisuke next to them disappeared into a cloud of smoke, a log appearing where he had been. Komaru and Kotomi looked around at where the kunai came from. Once spotted, Kotomi and Komaru charged into battle. pass
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:40 pm
I is here!... yea.... Anyway:
Akito walked into his home, as tired and sleepy as one could be. "I'm Ho--" "ONII-CHANNN!" There was a loud bang. Mion (I'll let you image whatever ya like... nothing too perverted though, eh?) was laying on top of him, squeezing as hard as she could. "Welcome home!" Akito patted her back, then his face began to grow blue. "Mion.. Please... Can't... Breathe..." His face then turned purple and he passed out. Mion freaked out and jumped off of him, then began to violently shake him, as if that would help. "Onii-Chan! Don't die! Onii-Chan!!!"
Akito woke up as the kitchen area on a couch. He looked to his right to see Mion and his father sitting there. She waved a little, and he in turn waved back. He sat up, and for a long time, there was a silence. Mion finally asked: "So... how did it go...?" Akito looked down. Mion followed suit. Then Akito suddenly looked up and grinned wickedly. "Was too easy." Mion beamed, and pounced Akito again, and again, he went blue, then purple, and blacked out. Mion didn't noticed, though.
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:21 pm
onixdragon Sheenio_Hemora onixdragon Sheenio_Hemora Hello. My Character is Sheenio Hemora and I'm HOPING to get into Sunakagure. Here is my sample: ------------- Sheenio swooped down from the tree and looked around. SHe was surrounded by other shinobi, she could sense it, but where were they? She took a battle stance and readied herself. Drawing her shuriken, she closed her eyes and focused. The sound.....THERE! She hurled her weapons quickly---YES she got him! ----------- I know it sounds lame but there it is... -.- kinda short. posts in this guild are required to be at least 4 lines. can you try to make it a little longer. sure thing ^^ I wasn't sure how long but here ya go: Sheenio swooped down from the tree and looked around. She was surrounded by other shinobi, she could sense it, but where were they? She took a battle stance and readied herself. Drawing her shuriken, she closed her eyes and focused. The sound.....THERE! She hurled her weapons quickly---YES she got him! She walked over and bent over to examine her prey. Who is this? she wondered. But now was not the time to get distracted. A kunai shot through the brush and grazed her cheek. She immediately ran and hid behind a tree, focusing once more. Once she collected herself, she jumped out from her hiding spot and threw three kunai into the dark shadows: explosion tags clipped on. As the heat chased her feet, Sheenio ran towards another tree and tacked on another explosion tag. She zig-zagged through the woods, until at last she stumbled into a daylight; Konohagakure in front of her in it's glory. o.o' I hope that's better. X_X pass. why does everyone use konoha. suna is a good village too XD Xd I plan on attending Suna! I just used Konoha cause I was bored and have no life. ^ ^'
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 11:52 pm
Akito Akiyama I is here!... yea.... Anyway: Akito walked into his home, as tired and sleepy as one could be. "I'm Ho--" "ONII-CHANNN!" There was a loud bang. Mion (I'll let you image whatever ya like... nothing too perverted though, eh?) was laying on top of him, squeezing as hard as she could. "Welcome home!" Akito patted her back, then his face began to grow blue. "Mion.. Please... Can't... Breathe..." His face then turned purple and he passed out. Mion freaked out and jumped off of him, then began to violently shake him, as if that would help. "Onii-Chan! Don't die! Onii-Chan!!!"Akito woke up as the kitchen area on a couch. He looked to his right to see Mion and his father sitting there. She waved a little, and he in turn waved back. He sat up, and for a long time, there was a silence. Mion finally asked: "So... how did it go...?" Akito looked down. Mion followed suit. Then Akito suddenly looked up and grinned wickedly. "Was too easy." Mion beamed, and pounced Akito again, and again, he went blue, then purple, and blacked out. Mion didn't noticed, though. made me rofl. pass
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