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 Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:52 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 1:42 pm
Bump
This is still White_crow, I just transformed my avatar in anticipation of my clingy ex stalking me online. But, the funny thing is, he's made no pursuit of me since I broke it off. My mother and I are rebuilding our lives. We're living alone together for the first time in 2 years. Part of me is arrogant and doesn't want to grieve the losses we've suffered, (my birthfather, my cat, and my grandpa passed away in April). I've always stuffed my emotions. I'm so embracing of my masculinity, I refuse to cry when I need to. My heart always feels like a rock in my chest, bumpy and painful all the time. I don't think I can stand to live like this much longer. I'm starting to do stupid things like run around the house with loud headphones on. I didn't even realize why I did it, but I jumped, slipped and fell on the gravel, and got up like there was no pain and walked inside. Now my leg looks like a work of art, with the colors of the bruises and cuts, and I'm aware my reckless action may be a subconscious thing. All my life... I've never been able to LET GO and anything. I'm always holding grudges and blaming myself for everything. I can't live like this. I've even had suicidal thoughts, and the one thing I'd never done is give up my life. I have an extremely irrefutable will to live. I need someone to help me.
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Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:11 am
Hey there. I'm still around. It sounds like you're having a pretty shitty time right now. There's not much I can do from over here, but I'm always here to talk to if you feel the need to rant.
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 2:25 pm
iKillCaustic--uKillMe Hey there. I'm still around. It sounds like you're having a pretty shitty time right now. There's not much I can do from over here, but I'm always here to talk to if you feel the need to rant. Thanks, I really need that. I'll PM you whenever I'm ready to talk.
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 2:32 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 5:46 am
Wake Moe Jinx iKillCaustic--uKillMe Hey there. I'm still around. It sounds like you're having a pretty shitty time right now. There's not much I can do from over here, but I'm always here to talk to if you feel the need to rant. Thanks, I really need that. I'll PM you whenever I'm ready to talk. Sure thing.
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 5:52 am
Your pm status is set to 'friends only', may I add you?
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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:23 pm
iKillCaustic--uKillMe Your pm status is set to 'friends only', may I add you? Yes, sorry. I forgot I'd done that.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 6:42 am
Wake Moe Jinx iKillCaustic--uKillMe Your pm status is set to 'friends only', may I add you? Yes, sorry. I forgot I'd done that. It seems I'm unable to add you as a friend either...
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 10:03 pm
Wake Moe Jinx Bump This is still White_crow, I just transformed my avatar in anticipation of my clingy ex stalking me online. But, the funny thing is, he's made no pursuit of me since I broke it off. My mother and I are rebuilding our lives. We're living alone together for the first time in 2 years. Part of me is arrogant and doesn't want to grieve the losses we've suffered, (my birthfather, my cat, and my grandpa passed away in April). I've always stuffed my emotions. I'm so embracing of my masculinity, I refuse to cry when I need to. My heart always feels like a rock in my chest, bumpy and painful all the time. I don't think I can stand to live like this much longer. I'm starting to do stupid things like run around the house with loud headphones on. I didn't even realize why I did it, but I jumped, slipped and fell on the gravel, and got up like there was no pain and walked inside. Now my leg looks like a work of art, with the colors of the bruises and cuts, and I'm aware my reckless action may be a subconscious thing. All my life... I've never been able to LET GO and anything. I'm always holding grudges and blaming myself for everything. I can't live like this. I've even had suicidal thoughts, and the one thing I'd never done is give up my life. I have an extremely irrefutable will to live. I need someone to help me. I'm sorry I missed this earlier in the month. If you want to talk to me I'm willing to listen too.
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Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 1:02 pm
I'm sorry, I changed my account preferences. I was paranoid of certain people trying to add me under a new cover, but now I'm prepared for that challenge. In recent development, I have been put on a higher dose of antidepressants, so now I'm at least fighting it and the suicidal urge has gone away. My insurance doesn't think I need therapy, but I have an intake appointment on the first of October. I will be making some kind of development, in the meantime, as my Psychiatrist truly is there for me. He's been my doctor since I was almost 5, so I trust in his word more than a therapist I will be seeing.
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Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 5:15 pm
Wake Moe Jinx I'm sorry, I changed my account preferences. I was paranoid of certain people trying to add me under a new cover, but now I'm prepared for that challenge. In recent development, I have been put on a higher dose of antidepressants, so now I'm at least fighting it and the suicidal urge has gone away. My insurance doesn't think I need therapy, but I have an intake appointment on the first of October. I will be making some kind of development, in the meantime, as my Psychiatrist truly is there for me. He's been my doctor since I was almost 5, so I trust in his word more than a therapist I will be seeing. Good luck. As someone who is bipolar I understand how crippling depression is. If you ever need to talk you can pm me. I'm only on every few days, but I'll respond as fast as possible. *hugs* You are a wonderful, worthwhile human being. I wish you the absolute best in facing this demon.
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Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 8:51 pm
entervixen Wake Moe Jinx I'm sorry, I changed my account preferences. I was paranoid of certain people trying to add me under a new cover, but now I'm prepared for that challenge. In recent development, I have been put on a higher dose of antidepressants, so now I'm at least fighting it and the suicidal urge has gone away. My insurance doesn't think I need therapy, but I have an intake appointment on the first of October. I will be making some kind of development, in the meantime, as my Psychiatrist truly is there for me. He's been my doctor since I was almost 5, so I trust in his word more than a therapist I will be seeing. Good luck. As someone who is bipolar I understand how crippling depression is. If you ever need to talk you can pm me. I'm only on every few days, but I'll respond as fast as possible. *hugs* You are a wonderful, worthwhile human being. I wish you the absolute best in facing this demon. I might contact you in a few days. Sunday, I'm going to a concert with my mother. My cousin and his friends will be there, too. I think I'll enjoy it.
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Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:10 am
Wake Moe Jinx entervixen Wake Moe Jinx I'm sorry, I changed my account preferences. I was paranoid of certain people trying to add me under a new cover, but now I'm prepared for that challenge. In recent development, I have been put on a higher dose of antidepressants, so now I'm at least fighting it and the suicidal urge has gone away. My insurance doesn't think I need therapy, but I have an intake appointment on the first of October. I will be making some kind of development, in the meantime, as my Psychiatrist truly is there for me. He's been my doctor since I was almost 5, so I trust in his word more than a therapist I will be seeing. Good luck. As someone who is bipolar I understand how crippling depression is. If you ever need to talk you can pm me. I'm only on every few days, but I'll respond as fast as possible. *hugs* You are a wonderful, worthwhile human being. I wish you the absolute best in facing this demon. I might contact you in a few days. Sunday, I'm going to a concert with my mother. My cousin and his friends will be there, too. I think I'll enjoy it. That works. smile Tomorrow I have a birthing class and Sunday is my baby shower, but I'll keep an eye out. Hope you have fun. smile *hugs*
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Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 9:55 am
Wake Moe Jinx entervixen Wake Moe Jinx I'm sorry, I changed my account preferences. I was paranoid of certain people trying to add me under a new cover, but now I'm prepared for that challenge. In recent development, I have been put on a higher dose of antidepressants, so now I'm at least fighting it and the suicidal urge has gone away. My insurance doesn't think I need therapy, but I have an intake appointment on the first of October. I will be making some kind of development, in the meantime, as my Psychiatrist truly is there for me. He's been my doctor since I was almost 5, so I trust in his word more than a therapist I will be seeing. Good luck. As someone who is bipolar I understand how crippling depression is. If you ever need to talk you can pm me. I'm only on every few days, but I'll respond as fast as possible. *hugs* You are a wonderful, worthwhile human being. I wish you the absolute best in facing this demon. I might contact you in a few days. Sunday, I'm going to a concert with my mother. My cousin and his friends will be there, too. I think I'll enjoy it. How are you doing?
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