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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:35 pm
TT.TT Stop being so damn depressing, all of ya! You're gonna make Kaddy depressed and she doesn't want that! Smile, smile!
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:37 pm
*smiles at Kaddy*
..."I must be an artist, I painted this smile on my face and people think it's real."
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:37 pm
[/ Huggles Eno ] It's okay to cry, you know? I do it at night so mom won't see. [/ Nods ]
Sorry Kaddy . . . I brought this on. Maybe I should just go so happier subjects can come.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:39 pm
TT.TT No fake smiles, Brother...I hate that...
Don't go, silent >.<"
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:42 pm
Silent didn't bring this on, I did. I want to cry, Silent, I really do... I literally can't. My friend went comatose and flatlined; her boyfriend who is also my friend went off to go kill himself then returned while everyone else was trying to revive her, then literally tries to tear his heart out for her, she wakes up and nearly goes crazy because of it... and all I do is go for a long walk and try to get better... Tears didn't even come; my eyes were dry...
We should switch to happier things... but when you're in a mood like this happy ideas just don't come...
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:47 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:49 pm
TT.TT Oh forget it! You guys wanna be all emo and depressing, go ahead! I'll just leave then! Ugh! -storms off-
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:53 pm
*smiles a bit* Nice, Silent...
Don't leave Kaddy... we don't wanna be!
*sigh* It's hard to explain that depression just settles itself in and won't just leave to people who've never felt it.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:55 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:55 pm
.. Please don't lie to me, okay? You're not 'happy'. -Late- That was in response to your post like.. ten minutes ago.. or something.. Whatever.
Kaddy. That's not helping the issue. Really. Sometimes people just need to let their emotions out; we're all friends here and we should be able to talk it out.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:59 pm
Hehe... nice try Silent.
Tsuna's everyone's bishie.
I've never understood why I can sink into and out of depression so easily... I get absolutely terrible, like now, and are fine by morning...
*sigh* Anyone have something to talk about that doesn't feel like it's just slapped together to cheer us up?
Kelbel's understanding... I see why Jolly loves you.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:09 pm
I see what issue keeps bringing me down now. v.v I need to figure out what 'love' actually is. [/ Is a dreamer ] My vision of love is like a stab in the back. I've never had a tight friendship since I was four, even now I feel like all my friends are far away. I want to see that red string attatched to my pinkie, and to feel like I belong. Like here . . . I feel like I belong . . . But I can't see you people in real life . . . And I can't spend all my days on the computer . . . It's a lonely feeling. If you understand.
EDIT
Sorry, I just did it again.
[/ Slaps self ] ENOUGH! xD
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:10 pm
I know that, Kelbel. I just don't like it. Especially when I'm in a good mood. It brings me down too. That's the worst part about it. I don't want to have to be thinking about such depressing things.
I worry about people when they're like this. Even more than I already worry. You're all people I care strongly for and seeing you all this way just breaks my heart. My heart's been torn and ripped to shreds enough. Many many times over. I don't need it getting any worse.
I'm going to bed. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow. You've all done me in and made me depressed tonight. Thanks a lot. Just what I needed.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:11 pm
Me? I'm not understanding. I'm incredibly judgmental and critical and disgusting. I don't understand why people think otherwise.
.. Eno, why would you bring that up? Especially now? I'm not trying to be mean, but that's the source of this problem. Hani is upset. And that's the problem. The damage is done and I can't fix any of this. I feel awful for causing this. I can't stand what I constantly do to people.
It doesn't matter whether you physically know the person or not; if they care about you and think about you, then they're your friend. You can't exactly look for love. Love is always an underlying feature. It hides from you; people can only truly see it once they open their eyes. You don't find love, love finds you.
I'm sorry, Kaddy. We're not trying to make you feel bad; we're trying to make you aware of our feelings. People just drop hints of how they feel, but sometimes that's not enough. We as humans need to communicate and let our emotions flare. If we don't, we are hardly human anymore. We also have that underlying fear of being a bother. Which is what most people fear, as I do. But people need to let lose. They need to have others recognize that they are in pain. They don't want you to share in the suffering, though. They just want you to know, be aware, and understand.
And sweet dreams, hon.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:15 pm
I understand some of it, Silent... it's irritating, it causes pain, especially when you realize the only people you truly feel attached to are far away and you'll probably never see them. Then because of that it causes doubt about the reality of the feelings, and you get even more isolated and afraid... Even if you shake away those doubts, it just hurts more because now you trust them and also know you'll probably never meet... reality breaks away, leaving you stranded from it...
... as to what love is, I have a fiance and I still am not sure... I know I love her, I know it makes no sense, I'm afraid I'll lose that love because I don't understand it...
*smacks self* Silent and I are in the same boat when it comes to this.
Why is it so hard to just change topics.
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