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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:01 pm
Osiris56 Roleplay Sample: At the sound of his alarm clock Sane jumped from his bed, full of energy. He quickly got dressed, ate breakfast and left for school, running at full speed. It was finally here, graduation day, the day he had been waiting for. All of his hard work had come down to this, he was finally a genin. He couldn't wait to find out who was in his team with him and who his new sensei was, but he knew that from now on he would have to work even harder. Pass.
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:02 pm
fishing2100 This rpc is named iikiasetanda(but I killed her off D=) The young hyyuga walked into the forest knowing it was dangerous. She was prepared to take the risk. She walked around seeing the really tall trees. "If the name didn't scare you, then nothing would..." She thought. She started to walk down the path but she felt as if something was watching her. She didn't know who or what it was but she felt uncomfortable. She started running through the trees and felt it coming after her. She didn't know how she felt it but she did. She started sprinting and all of a sudden she saw she was off the path. "Oh crud...." She muttered. She put her back to a tree panting. She knew that this was not a good situation to be in. She walked forward paying special attention to behind her. She then got her foot caught in a rope and tried to jerk it out. She then flew up into the air hung by the rope. She started crying out because she was scared. She all off a sudden fell silent because she knew something had to be here. She started whimpering and grabbed the rope and tried to pull it off until her hand bled. She screamed out as the pain reached her. She then saw a overly large wolf walk into view. She knew that it was coming for her. She started flailing and the wolf came nearer. She knew that this was not good. The wolf bit off her arms and walked off satisfied. She cried out in pain when the wolf stepped on another trap and a blade went right through her neck. She tried to scream but found that she couldn't. She saw her body behind her and she couldn't feel anything. She heard laughing and then she blacked out and never woke up again. Pass but very choppy writing. Try transitional phrases/clauses.
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:50 am
yea... here go's nothing:
Zane walked into the forest fully equiped for the mission ahead. He never known that the village was saving him for a solo mission that was a C-class mission. Zane started thinking about the mission in his mind to get the idea why they where sending him in. He Decoded the mission in his mind then decoded the mission again to make sure. Zane smiled and looked up then said to himself " I like it... this mission will finally put all my skills to the test. " Zane then turned to look back at the village then continued to his target.
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Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 2:54 pm
Bane_of _Death yea... here go's nothing: Zane walked into the forest fully equiped for the mission ahead. He never known that the village was saving him for a solo mission that was a C-class mission. Zane started thinking about the mission in his mind to get the idea why they where sending him in. He Decoded the mission in his mind then decoded the mission again to make sure. Zane smiled and looked up then said to himself " I like it... this mission will finally put all my skills to the test. " Zane then turned to look back at the village then continued to his target. Pass.
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Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:40 am
Zolo drew out his katana and aim it at his little brother, as if he was going to cut him."One day this might be yours. Although today, it's going to make me pass the test father we going to give me." Their father walk in the room. Zolo said"Is it time."Their father nodded. Zolo walk outside, and got into the position his father showed him the week before. His father set up twelve training dummies. Zolo was waiting for this day. If he could pass this test his dad will let him join the academy. Zolo ran to the dummies, he slash throw the first six without pausing to take out his katana. He turned to get the next six,He almost missed one.Then on the last one he missed completly."Noo!!!"Zolo yelled then slumped down as tried to run into the house with a mad look on his face.Then his father caught him before he could get inside and said," You passed."
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 10:34 pm
Nicolasmatt Zolo drew out his kantana and aim it at his little brother, as if he was going to cut him."One day this might be yours. Although today, it's going to make me pass the test father we going to give me." Their father walk in the room. Zolo said"Is it time."Their father nodded. Zolo walk outside, and go into the position his father showed him the week before.His father set up twelve training dummies. Zolo was waiting for this day. If he could pass this test his dad will let him join the academy. Zolo ran the the dummies, he slash throw the first six without stop to take out his katana. He turned to get the next six,He almost missed one.Then on the last one he missed completly."Noo!!!!"Zolo yelled then slumped down as tried to run into the house with a mad look on his face.Then his father caught him before he could get in and said," You passed." no pass. work on your grammar and try again
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:45 am
Okie Smokies then here goes nutin... oh right almost forgot, my characters are twins from konoha and their names are Akina and Mizu:
All the world seemed silent as Akina and Mizu traveled the small forest path leading all the way to their small yet beautiful home village of Konoha. The pair had be meandering the forest floor for hours, having found nothing of higher importance being presented to them. Soon, though, the intriguing silence of the vast green forest began to sing to a new tune. First came the wind, its speed and intensity began to grow, rustling the leaves and howling increasingly louder through the treetops. Then, came the threat of rain in the form of large grey clouds accompanied by an orchestra of lightning. Suddenly, the girls looked at one another and flashed a small, challenging smile; and they both understood. For, these two particular twin girls were very competitive with one another, and what they both understood was that that coy little devious smile meant a challenge. The other thing they understood was the challenge itself. And this time the challenge was a race. The objective, be the first to reach the gates of Konoha, rules, stop your opponent by any means possible. And as soon as the rain began the two girls would be locked in combat and competition 'till a winner was decided.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:03 pm
Uber Kung Fu Penguin Okie Smokies then here goes nutin... oh right almost forgot, my characters are twins from konoha and their names are Akina and Mizu: All the world seemed silent as Akina and Mizu traveled the small forest path leading all the way to their small yet beautiful home village of Konoha. The pair had be meandering the forest floor for hours, having found nothing of higher importance being presented to them. Soon, though, the intriguing silence of the vast green forest began to sing to a new tune. First came the wind, its speed and intensity began to grow, rustling the leaves and howling increasingly louder through the treetops. Then, came the threat of rain in the form of large grey clouds accompanied by an orchestra of lightning. Suddenly, the girls looked at one another and flashed a small, challenging smile; and they both understood. For, these two particular twin girls were very competitive with one another, and what they both understood was that that coy little devious smile meant a challenge. The other thing they understood was the challenge itself. And this time the challenge was a race. The objective, be the first to reach the gates of Konoha, rules, stop your opponent by any means possible. And as soon as the rain began the two girls would be locked in combat and competition 'till a winner was decided. pass
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:11 pm
onixdragon Nicolasmatt Zolo drew out his kantana and aim it at his little brother, as if he was going to cut him."One day this might be yours. Although today, it's going to make me pass the test father we going to give me." Their father walk in the room. Zolo said"Is it time."Their father nodded. Zolo walk outside, and go into the position his father showed him the week before.His father set up twelve training dummies. Zolo was waiting for this day. If he could pass this test his dad will let him join the academy. Zolo ran the the dummies, he slash throw the first six without stop to take out his katana. He turned to get the next six,He almost missed one.Then on the last one he missed completly."Noo!!!!"Zolo yelled then slumped down as tried to run into the house with a mad look on his face.Then his father caught him before he could get in and said," You passed." no pass. work on your grammar and try again yea i saw it and corrected it in my first post
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:52 pm
Nicolasmatt Zolo drew out his katana and aimed it at his little brother, as if he was going to cut him."One day this might be yours. Although today, it's going to make me pass the test father is or was going to give me." Their father walked into the room. Zolo said"Is it time."Their father nodded. Zolo walked outside, and got into the position his father showed him the week before. His father set up twelve training dummies. Zolo was waiting for this day. If he could pass this test his dad would let him join the academy. Zolo ran to the dummies, he slashed throw the first six without pausing to take out his katana. He turned to get the next six,He almost missed one.Then on the last one he missed completely."Noo!!!"Zolo yelled then slumped down as he tried to run into the house with a mad look on his face.Then his father caught him before he could get inside and said," You passed." OK not only was it a bad RP example. it was filled with grammatical errors. when i said work on your grammar i did not mean your spelling. maybe this will help i labeled all the grammar errors in red. there was one spelling error which is bad because everyone has spell check.
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 3:02 pm
onixdragon Nicolasmatt Zolo drew out his katana and aimed it at his little brother, as if he was going to cut him."One day this might be yours. Although today, it's going to make me pass the test father is or was going to give me." Their father walked into the room. Zolo said"Is it time."Their father nodded. Zolo walked outside, and got into the position his father showed him the week before. His father set up twelve training dummies. Zolo was waiting for this day. If he could pass this test his dad would let him join the academy. Zolo ran to the dummies, he slashed throw the first six without pausing to take out his katana. He turned to get the next six,He almost missed one.Then on the last one he missed completely."Noo!!!"Zolo yelled then slumped down as he tried to run into the house with a mad look on his face.Then his father caught him before he could get inside and said," You passed." OK not only was it a bad RP example. it was filled with grammatical errors. when i said work on your grammar i did not mean your spelling. maybe this will help i labeled all the grammar errors in red. there was one spelling error which is bad because everyone has spell check. oh i did notice thati will try a whole diffrent fp this time
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 3:55 pm
Zolo walked to his new new apartment room. Then Zolo said,"Room twelve." He unlocked the door and saw that his stuff was already settled."Dad already put my stuff in here?" Zolo said in his confused look. He walked to his room and layed his ninja supplies down on the soffa."Dad went out to the land of sand early but still manage to put the soffa in my room?" Zolo said as he was thinking how that is posible. Zolo walked out of the apartment."Well from now on I am on my own. Dad not going be here to baby me,I am a ninja now.Although I still got to find out how dad get things done fast",Zolo said as he was looking at the birds chirping in the trees. Then he remembered that his sensei and squad is at the training feild."I got to get to the traning area fast." He ran to the traing feild.
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 4:21 pm
Nicolasmatt onixdragon Nicolasmatt Zolo drew out his katana and aimed it at his little brother, as if he was going to cut him."One day this might be yours. Although today, it's going to make me pass the test father is or was going to give me." Their father walked into the room. Zolo said"Is it time."Their father nodded. Zolo walked outside, and got into the position his father showed him the week before. His father set up twelve training dummies. Zolo was waiting for this day. If he could pass this test his dad would let him join the academy. Zolo ran to the dummies, he slashed throw the first six without pausing to take out his katana. He turned to get the next six,He almost missed one.Then on the last one he missed completely."Noo!!!"Zolo yelled then slumped down as he tried to run into the house with a mad look on his face.Then his father caught him before he could get inside and said," You passed." OK not only was it a bad RP example. it was filled with grammatical errors. when i said work on your grammar i did not mean your spelling. maybe this will help i labeled all the grammar errors in red. there was one spelling error which is bad because everyone has spell check. oh i did notice thati will try a whole diffrent fp this time lol. just be sure to proof read. grammar mistakes can be rather embarrassing lol. o and since your new ill give you fair warning. do not delete another post or you will be banned.
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 4:36 pm
Nicolasmatt Zolo walked to his new new apartment room. Then Zolo said,"Room twelve." He unlocked the door and saw that his stuff was already settled."Dad already put my stuff in here?" Zolo said in a confused look. He walked to his room and laid his ninja supplies down on the sofa."Dad went out to the land of sand early but still manage to put the sofa in my room?" Zolo said as he was thinking how that was possible. Zolo walked out of the apartment."Well from now on I am on my own. Dad is not going be here to baby me,I am a ninja now.Although I still have to find out how dad got things done fast",Zolo said as he was looking at the birds chirping in the trees. Then he remembered that his sensei and squad were at the training field."I have to get to the training area fast." He ran to the training field. no pass. i said proof read it that means to check for mistakes
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