|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:21 pm
Yesterday at rehearsal for wind ensemble:
*we are playing through a song. Percussion is being wimpy. Barely hitting their isntruments"
BD:*Hllbilly voice* Look, I'm a drummer! I hit things lightly to get my anger out! *Pretends to hit soemthing with baton, but does more of a finger flick* Ah, much better. *Normal voice* BANG HARDER PERCUSSION!
Us: LOL!
i had another one but i forgot.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:57 pm
the director of my schools band has caused a lot of WTF moments. I was staying after school for make up for sectionals. We got to a slow spot in the song where saxophone and clarinets were supposed to play together and we were all playing at different times so he stopped us and said
" This part is like Mary Had a Little Lamb, but this lamb is fat.... And it knows how to sing opera,"
It was Epic.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
|
Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2010 6:35 pm
After the third time that I didn't get my part in time with the clarinets today...
Hartmetz: *runs back to where I am, grabs my xylophone, and starts dragging it to the front of class* Get your music.
Me: Where am I going? o_o
Hartmetz: Clarinet Land.
Me: Oh, yay. rolleyes
Hartmetz: It's a weird place, I wouldn't want to go there either.
Everyone: LOL.
---
Me: Hartmetz, do I have to stay here?
Hartmetz: Yes! 8D
Me: gonk
Hartmetz: Hey, don't make such a face of disgust...not all of them are gross.
Clarinets: ...lolwhat.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 1:37 pm
*We were talkign about allstate auditions. May is my bd*
May: Last year we held allstate here on our town. Trevor got to sleep in his own bed, as did i. *Awkwards silence.* At my own house.
Ryan W.: He stil had a roommate though.
*May looks at Ryan S. We all turn to Ryan S. and wait. abotu 2 minutes of this*
Ryan S.: yeah, his roomate was your mom.
May: *Nods with a grin, laughing and all proud of himself* I was waiting for that.
Ryan S.: I'm a bit tired today.
May: You sure Ryan's mom was Trevor's roomate?
Ryan S.: For allstate last year. I never said anything about last ngiht.
May: How could you be with her last night though? Last night you werw with...er nevermind.
Everyone: 0.o ????
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 6:04 pm
Today our BD randomly started telling us that he had girl-scout cookies if we wanted some. So he stops the band and says "Oh I have some crack--COOKIES! I meant cookies," The whole room started cracking up, and he just kind stood there looking like he was thinking "crap!!...just crap!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 7:10 pm
When me and my friend Mike needed to get our uniforms checked out, he told the band director "We need to do our uniforms" and the BD said "Well I think that's kind of illegal..." xD Then the subject of sex with cars came up. I'm just like *facepalm*.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:18 pm
I swear, in high school, our band director was telling the saxophones they needed to back off, but he said it in the weirdest way ever. I'm not sure if he meant french horns or trumpets anymore though.
"I need it to be less saxophony and more horny"
We've had so many with my college band director, but I can't remember really any of them right now :<
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:01 pm
oh gosh we've had so many that my friend and I have come up with a list of phrases that have been said that we call "The Band-isms"
here's my favorite one:
"We'll start with 69 and you guys experiment."
of course he was talking about playing with dynamics but that was just golden! XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:00 pm
my BD has little things to pick on for every section of the band. He also has what we call "Eysterisms" (his name is Mr Eyster) that one of the seniors has been writing down since she was a freshman. i wan't remember all of them, but here's some of my favs:
One day, Mr. Eyster goes off on this tangent, coming up with something to pick on for every section in the band...
*the flutes were playing out of tune for about the fourth time in a row at the same part*
Eyster: *he takes his conductor's baton and slits it across his throat* You know that thing you use to clean the flute with? Either you can slit your throat with it, or the audience will... or would you prefer pills?
Band: silence, scattered snickers & gasps
(Usually he also reminds them about their out-of-tune-ness by shouting "E FLAT!" at them)
*the low brass was having trouble with dynamics*
Eyster: "P" doesn't stand for "puny"! ... "MP" isn't "mighty puny"! etc etc.
*the saxes were messing up rhythms*
Eyster: "Oh, look at me, I'm a saxophone player; I'm a jazz instrument, I don't need to know rhythms, I make up my own!"
Band: lol
*tubas not sounding very good*
Eyster: "look at me, I'm a tuba player: *plop, plop, plop, plooooop*"
Band:lol
*bass drum not loud enough*
Eyster: *goes back there & pounds the bass drum really loudly, at the right spot in the music* That's how I want you to do it every time!
Trumpets who sit right in front of the bass drum: *Cringe*
*Trumpets*
Eyster: "Oh, I'm a trumpet player, I'm KING OF THE BAND! No one's better than me!"
tuba player: no, I'm KING OF THE BAND!
Band (including trumpets and tubas): lol
*clarinets*
Eyster: "oh, I'm just holding this piece of wood in front of me..." *mimes holding a clarinet and looks around at the ceiling*
Band (including clarinets): lol
did I leave anybody out?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:15 pm
Our BD has a very strange name. His name is, well we call him coach sometimes but anyways its..... Mr Congdon. So last year before he told us to call him Mr. C some people called him Mr.Condom. sweatdrop Everybody just started craking up! But know we call him Mr.C. Even some of the other teachers call him that!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:37 am
my band director makes us do breathing gym until we pass out xD and he might stand behind us to catch us if we fall xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 4:49 pm
We have this one trombonist who is absolutely amazing; she rarely messes up and has made all-state two years in a row.
So, today...
Hartmetz: Okay, let's try double tonguing...
*insert a few minutes of him yelling at people and a lot of randomness, eventually getting to a unison thing. When he cuts everyone off there's a trombone still going, and it's obviously her*
Hartmetz: ...Molly? o_o What...just happened?
Molly: I have no idea. rofl
Hartmetz: ...*in shock*
Everyone: LOL.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 9:54 am
wow, band directors... rofl
pyatt (bd): this section of music is like a clarinet jumping over a volcano.
drumline: wtf...?!
pyatt (after sucking a helium balloon and making his voice all high and pitcy): i don't get what the big deal about this helium stuff is.
pyatt: RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH! -->hes done that more than once...
entire band: please stop watching south park... sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:31 pm
Saxophone fingering for F#? Middle finger. So, of course, what happens when they play off key? My director shows them the fingering.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:54 pm
Band director: Grab your horns. I need to talk to you about drugs.
Me: Are you going to tell us how to get a high with my sax.
BD: No but I can tell you how to have sex with your sax.
Me:....................... wow, Mrs. D........ wow........
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
