|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 7:13 am
Meta_Fish I'm liking it, I just read it. I don't like how you talk about two characters and say "the other shot fireballs and flipped out crazily." though. I dunno, just a mini thing that very slightly annoys me when you use it sometimes. Other than that, good work. Who is Caramel? I can't find that anywhere or was that just an example. Glad you liked it. And yes I did mean Caramel Kisses
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 7:39 am
Seaphron Meta_Fish I'm liking it, I just read it. I don't like how you talk about two characters and say "the other shot fireballs and flipped out crazily." though. I dunno, just a mini thing that very slightly annoys me when you use it sometimes. Other than that, good work. Who is Caramel? I can't find that anywhere or was that just an example. Glad you liked it. And yes I did mean Caramel Kisses wow I know of Culties that Fish dosent! xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 9:52 am
Seaphron I can't find that anywhere or was that just an example. Glad you liked it. And yes I did mean Caramel Kisses That was just an example. Here's a real one. Quote: “Diglidi, when you are fighting you are going to get hurt! Get that through your head. I respect that you have decided to learn how to fight, but really now, come at me now!” the other yelled. “Wayne, you say that way too easily!” the other yelled as he dive bombed at his partner. I don't know, I just don't like it. Maybe it's just me, but it's just something I've noticed from time to time in your stories, and I thought I'd point it out. Sauvie wow I know of Culties that Fish dosent! xd I know who she is.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 6:12 pm
It's good, but you seem to be mixing up "to" with "too" at times.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 7:11 pm
Masamune 5.0 It's good, but you seem to be mixing up "to" with "too" at times. And that one was edited DX
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 7:39 pm
Seaphron Masamune 5.0 It's good, but you seem to be mixing up "to" with "too" at times. And that one was edited DX
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 3:37 pm
Some people are so picky. whee
Apart from a few spelling mistakes blaugh
It was really good you seem to have improved on the story a lot .I will enjoy reading this 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:04 pm
Chapter Seven Added
@Godstone - Thanks, and I can never find your spelling mistakes sweatdrop Can you point one out to me please?
@Betman - Heheh... oh yeah... sorry about that/
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:19 pm
Into action! =D
Who is this red-haired man? We shall find out in the next chapter!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:21 pm
I like the suspense and the sense of foreboding. It makes the reader want to continue to the next chapter. But there was one typo that confused me for a while. You wrote "the" when I think you meant to say "they".
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:23 pm
@Maul - I dunno if I really like that idea or not there, but yeah you will see it in the next chapter.
@Masamune - By chance do you remember where?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:26 pm
Good chapter. Keep going.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:27 pm
It's in the first sentence of the sixth paragraph of the chapter.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:53 pm
Nice chapter. Now we need to find who has red hair in the Cult, and what they finished. ninja
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:55 pm
@Fish - glad you liked this chapter, hopefully I did better at not annoying you this time?
@Masamune - Fixed, and thank you.
@Aku - Of course you do, it isn't that hard to figure out when you think about it. he was in CTG
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
