Well, here's something that'll bring your braincell count to around where mine is, which is actually quite low now...
sweatdrop Behold,
YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS!!!!***U Can't Touch This Biyatch
xp ***
The time was night, the streets dark with only the moon's soft glow to illuminate what little there was to see in the streets at this hour. In the town of Kalm, all was... calm... My God, that was probably the WORST pun I've made. And it's only myh second sentence... WEEEH!!!!
Ahem. Anyways, all was well in the small town of Kalm, with the inhabitants sleeping peacefully, totally unaware of the three figures cloaked in the darkness of the night as they roamed about the blackened cobblestone streets. One was tall, with strong, broad shoulders, and was evidently male. His shiny bald head seemed to glow in the moonlight, as if he was a holy man of sorts. The other male was shorter, and sported an all-over-the-place hair style that was barely contained within his ponytail. Sunglasses were perched atop his head, and his hair still retained it's firey luster in the moonlight. His posture was laid back, and his build rather slim compared to the bald man. The last one, a woman, had short golden blonde hair and a petite build, and walked about with the others as if she held some sort of authority over the sleeping townspeople. If you haven't figured out who these three are by now, then you really need to replay the game. It was the TURKS, Rude, Reno, and Elena. Tseng was dead, so he couldn't join them in this wonderful brain killing device that I like to call a "DUDERBOODYDOO."
Regardless, Rude, Reno, and Elena walked quietly through Kalm, hoping to finally come to terms with AVALANCHE, whom they've chased around the world on orders from their boss, the President of Shinra. Both groups had agreed to meet in Kalm that night in the town square to settle things, and the TURKS hoped that AVALANCHE wouldn't be in good shape when they arrived. They stopped when they reached the monument in the center of the town, and waited.
The distinct sound of stone moving under someone's feet as they walked upon the streets was heard, coming from a large group of people. At the lead was Cloud Strife, leader of AVALANCHE, easily identified by the TURKS for his outrageous hair style. As the rest of the group neared the TURKS, the moonlight revealed each of thier faces, all the way down town to where they were.
And they were wearing parachute pants? What the freakin' HELL?!
The TURKS stared dumbfoundedly at AVALANCHE's new wardrobe, which was anythng but "cool." Reno decided that he'd ask them what the hell was going on in the kindest way that he knew how.
Reno: What the F*CK IS GOING ON?!
Alas, he was never one to beat around the bush. However, if you were to tell him that, he'd probably find some subtle sexual meaning within the phrase, and grin at you like only a silly person would.
AVALANCHE, having both Cid Highwind and Barret Wallace in their company, were not taken aback by this outburst from Reno. Cloud decided to let Reno know what was going on.
Cloud: We're celebrities now, so we're trying to set a trend now. Got a problem with that?
Rude: .....................
eek Reno: I don't believe this... You guys are really stupid. Those pants make your asses look HUGE. I mean an UNGODLY SORT OF HUGE. It's like you all have your very own Meteor down your pants sticking out of the crach of your asses. If Aeris had lived, I seriously doubt that she would have dated you for long, if at all.
Elena: ....I really can't believe this... It's too wierd...
eek sweatdrop At the mention of Aeris, Cloud suddenly breaks down into a fit of tears and anguish, crying out Aeris' name to the heavens, and just generally being depressed. Tifa rushed to his side, and tried to calm him down, but to no avail. Then Cid spoke up.
Cid: Hey, Spike-a**, don't go worrying over something like that. She wouldn't want you to be this way.
Cloud: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! AERIS!!!!!!
Tifa: Cloud, are you just going to take that crap? Come on, be a man for once, suck it up, and strike back at them ten times harder!
Cloud stopped crying, and seemed to be thinking of a good way to come back at Reno for his comments. Especially about that one where he said that Aeris wouldn't date him, because that insulted Cloud's manhood, amongst other things, and he didn't like that. Finally coming to a conclusion, he stands, and looks Reno straight in the eye.
Cloud: Reno, I believe that you've pissed off the wrong eco-terrorist organization. Cid, hit it!
All of a sudden, AVALANCHE suddenly separates, each member getting into a particular position. Cid steps up to the front with Cloud at his right and Barret at his left, and proceeds to dish up some whoop-a** the Cid way to the TURKS.
The music starts up from out of nowhere, and everyone starts dancing in unison.
Cid: can't touch this (x2)
Can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
My-my-my-my music hits me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet Feels good when you know you're down
A suped up homeboy from the Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat uh u can't touch
I told you homeboy can't touch this
Yeah that's how we're livin' and you know can't touch this
Look in my eyes man can't touch this
You know let me bust the funky lyrics
Fresh new kicks and pants
You got it like that now you know you wanna dance
So move out of your seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat
While it's rollin' hold on pump a little bit
And let me know it's going on like that like that
Cold on a mission so follow back
Let 'em know that you're too much
And this is a group uh u can't touch
By now, all of Kalm has woken up, but as they peer out their windows, citizens everywhere start break dancing to Cid's mean beat. Reno and the other TURKS just stand their speechless.
Cid: Yo I told you u can't touch this
Why you standing there man can't touch this
Yo sound the bells school is in sucker can't touch this
Give me a song or rhythm
Making 'em sweat that's what I'm giving 'em
Now u know when you talk about the Highwind
You talk about a show that's hyped and tight
Singers are sweatin' so pass them a wipe
Or a tape to learn what it's gonna take
in the 90's to burn
The charts legit either work hard
Or you might as well quit
That's word because you know
Can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
Break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh) (x2)
Stop Highwind time
Go with the flow it is said if you can't move to this
Then you probably are dead
So wave your hands in the air
Bust a few moves run your fingers through your hair
This is it for a winner
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner
Move slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump
Bump bump bump yeah
Can't touch this
Look man u can't touch this
You'll probably get hyped boy 'cause you know you can't u can't touch
this
Ring the bell school's back in break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x2)
Stop Highwind time
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
(Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) can't touch this (x3)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x3)
Stop Highwind time
Every time you see me that Highwind's just so hype
I'm dope on the floor and magic on the mic
Now why would I ever stop doing this
With others makin' records they just dont hit
I toured around the world from London to The Bay
It's Highwind go Highwind Ciddy Highwind Yo Highwind
and the rest go and play
Can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Can't touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Yeah u can't touch this
I told you u can't touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Too hype can't touch this
Get me outta here u can't touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
AVALANCHE, now done with their song, strikes a pose, arms crossed, and looking down at the TURKS from their noses.
Rude: ...
eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek Elena:
eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek Reno:
eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek Marlene (from a window of a house): You got served, bitches!!! HAHAHA!!!!
Barret: THat's my baby sugar puff!
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