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Posted: Tue May 26, 2009 4:07 pm
ProtoXtreme It seems I have not been able to convey something across... Fix your grammatical structure and slice run-on sentences to their proper form. I thought grammatical structure was good but kan u give me an example please?
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Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 5:12 am
I already posted an example..
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Posted: Thu May 28, 2009 6:45 pm
Roleplay Sample: Tai ran through the forest as fast as her feet could take her. Each step would bring her closer to her destination but would she be too late? would she be able to stop them? Thoughts ran through her head as her feet hit each branch and she pushed herself off. Her heart beat fast like a hamer and her head was shaking like a rattle. She soon saw a girl in the distance that looked like her friend. That face was stuck in her mind as she came to a complete stop a few feet away. "chizumi!" Tai cried as tears ran down her face. She stepped forward as she wipped her eyes with her bare hand but the girl took a step back as soon as she noticed her. Tai was in shock as Chizumi stepped away from her. " Chizumi, is something wrong?" Tai stopped moving as she waited for an answer.
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Posted: Thu May 28, 2009 9:22 pm
Kimu sprinted through the corridors of the ninja academy. The classes were all out and no one else was in the building. Tomorrow morning would be the graduation ceremony for all of the academy students. She could not wait. "I'll finally be a Genin." Kimu had too much pent up energy so she was running through the academy like a mad woman, treating it like an obstacle course. Rounding a corner, she jumped up and planted both feet on the opposite wall before springing back and continuing back the way she came. She would wear herself out before heading home, and them maybe she could actually get some sleep before the graduation ceremony in the morning.
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Posted: Fri May 29, 2009 3:55 pm
deadly_fairy13 Roleplay Sample: Tai ran through the forest as fast as her feet could take her. Each step would bring her closer to her destination but would she be too late? would she be able to stop them? Thoughts ran through her head as her feet hit each branch and she pushed herself off. Her heart beat fast like a hamer and her head was shaking like a rattle. She soon saw a girl in the distance that looked like her friend. That face was stuck in her mind as she came to a complete stop a few feet away. "chizumi!" Tai cried as tears ran down her face. She stepped forward as she wipped her eyes with her bare hand but the girl took a step back as soon as she noticed her. Tai was in shock as Chizumi stepped away from her. " Chizumi, is something wrong?" Tai stopped moving as she waited for an answer. Pass! Just occasionally watch your capitalization, all else is good.
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Posted: Fri May 29, 2009 3:56 pm
Kei Kinzoku Kimu sprinted through the corridors of the ninja academy. The classes were all out and no one else was in the building. Tomorrow morning would be the graduation ceremony for all of the academy students. She could not wait. "I'll finally be a Genin." Kimu had too much pent up energy so she was running through the academy like a mad woman, treating it like an obstacle course. Rounding a corner, she jumped up and planted both feet on the opposite wall before springing back and continuing back the way she came. She would wear herself out before heading home, and them maybe she could actually get some sleep before the graduation ceremony in the morning. Very good. Pass.
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Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 7:28 am
When Onobis finished packing his bags he headed to his window out looking the village.He stayed in a local inn that night just 4 miles from the village.His eyes glittered from all the shinning stars.In one hand he held a parchment inviting him to the village in the other a knife.While he was staring at the village a faint smile appeared on his face and he says to him self:¨So it begins".
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Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 9:55 am
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Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 10:59 am
rockchild15 When Onobis finished packing his bags he headed to his window out looking the village.He stayed in a local inn that night just 4 miles from the village.His eyes glittered from all the shinning stars.In one hand he held a parchment inviting him to the village in the other a knife.While he was staring at the village a faint smile appeared on his face and he says to him self:¨So it begins". If it's a small number, type 'four' out. You don't have to be the crazy ones like me, who prefers typing all numbers out in words. xP Anyhow, watch spelling and punctuation here and there (not referring to punctuation customary at the end of sentences, I mean where it concerns clauses). Otherwise than that, pass. P.S. If you have any questions, just pm me.
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Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 3:52 pm
R.P Sample
Hana the rookie ninja was determined to pass her exams today. She kept a serious look on her face but deep down she was nervous and scared, not knowing what to expect. She played with her fingers and with this, she observed the atmosphere around her, shifting her weight from one side to another. There were students about her age and teachers too, waiting for her to join the line. She quickly scooted over to the crowd, trying not to be noticed.Do I pass?
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Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 10:37 am
Bubblecakes15 R.P Sample
Hana the rookie ninja was determined to pass her exams today. She kept a serious look on her face but deep down she was nervous and scared, not knowing what to expect. She played with her fingers and with this, she observed the atmosphere around her, shifting her weight from one side to another. There were students about her age and teachers too, waiting for her to join the line. She quickly scooted over to the crowd, trying not to be noticed.Do I pass?  Yes you do. heart
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Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 12:28 pm
Rp Sample 2:
As the sun rises after a long silent night, so does a boy who has begins training at the first sight of light. He begins with basic exercises like one hand push ups, sits ups, & and running. After he takes a breather he heads to a place he recently found. On the the side of a cliff surrounded by trees was a spring. The boy then began to undress and bath.
Sitting in the water he began to look up and ponder. I wonder how long it will take to get my recognized across than land? Even if its just this country, how great will I become?
After sitting and letting his mind wonder for some minutes, the boy walks out the spring up to a tree that its trunk was at least five feet wide and taller than most of the other trees. The boy then gets in a stance that he made up himself. He spreads his feet two feet apart, puts his right hand up like in a snake stance and his left in the tiger. He then takes a deep breath and starts practicing on the tree his taijutsu.
After about a hour and a half of training, the boy took another dip in the spring and then dried himself and got dressed. The boy looked back and said, "Now who ever finds this place will know my name." The Tree read "FAYT HARRU." Fayt then turned around and began to whistle a song and head on a journey that he didn't even know where it might take him.
((Sorry it took so long.))
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Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 3:56 pm
Roleplay Sample: At the sound of his alarm clock Sane jumped from his bed, full of energy. He quickly got dressed, ate breakfast and left for school, running at full speed. It was finally here, graduation day, the day he had been waiting for. All of his hard work had come down to this, he was finally a genin. He couldn't wait to find out who was in his team with him and who his new sensei was, but he knew that from now on he would have to work even harder.
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:18 am
This rpc is named iikiasetanda(but I killed her off D=)
The young hyyuga walked into the forest knowing it was dangerous. She was prepared to take the risk. She walked around seeing the really tall trees. "If the name didn't scare you, then nothing would..." She thought. She started to walk down the path but she felt as if something was watching her. She didn't know who or what it was but she felt uncomfortable. She started running through the trees and felt it coming after her. She didn't know how she felt it but she did. She started sprinting and all of a sudden she saw she was off the path. "Oh crud...." She muttered. She put her back to a tree panting. She knew that this was not a good situation to be in. She walked forward paying special attention to behind her. She then got her foot caught in a rope and tried to jerk it out. She then flew up into the air hung by the rope. She started crying out because she was scared. She all off a sudden fell silent because she knew something had to be here. She started whimpering and grabbed the rope and tried to pull it off until her hand bled. She screamed out as the pain reached her. She then saw a overly large wolf walk into view. She knew that it was coming for her. She started flailing and the wolf came nearer. She knew that this was not good. The wolf bit off her arms and walked off satisfied. She cried out in pain when the wolf stepped on another trap and a blade went right through her neck. She tried to scream but found that she couldn't. She saw her body behind her and she couldn't feel anything. She heard laughing and then she blacked out and never woke up again.
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:00 pm
Fayt_Star Rp Sample 2: As the sun rises after a long silent night, so does a boy who has begins training at the first sight of light. He begins with basic exercises like one hand push ups, sits ups, & and running. After he takes a breather he heads to a place he recently found. On the the side of a cliff surrounded by trees was a spring. The boy then began to undress and bath. Sitting in the water he began to look up and ponder. I wonder how long it will take to get my recognized across than land? Even if its just this country, how great will I become?After sitting and letting his mind wonder for some minutes, the boy walks out the spring up to a tree that its trunk was at least five feet wide and taller than most of the other trees. The boy then gets in a stance that he made up himself. He spreads his feet two feet apart, puts his right hand up like in a snake stance and his left in the tiger. He then takes a deep breath and starts practicing on the tree his taijutsu. After about a hour and a half of training, the boy took another dip in the spring and then dried himself and got dressed. The boy looked back and said, "Now who ever finds this place will know my name." The Tree read "FAYT HARRU." Fayt then turned around and began to whistle a song and head on a journey that he didn't even know where it might take him. ((Sorry it took so long.)) Pass.
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