Welcome to Gaia! ::

(Somewhat grapic post...just a warning...those that don't want images of gay stuff shouldn't really read...)

...Nani? Who you be's talkin bout, Mizu-chan?

Anyways, it's now tuesday(6AM, but still tuesday), and after work and sleep, I feel like i can discuss the weekend.

So, I went to see Mamma Mia! (okay...not that exciting) and The Dark Knight(OMGSOFREAKINGGOODGOSEEIT!!!), then went back to Damien and Artimecion's place(yep, Artimecion, like the moogle...but he normally goes by Arty.) We pretty much hung out there, played Arty's wii, watched episodes 1-12 of Excel Saga, and watched Death Becomes Her...and of course, marathon sex, cause I be an evil horny bunny that doesn't know when to stop...ahem, anyways >_>;

Came home Sunday, slept, went to work last night...and am now posting here^_^ The plan is to stay a nice little menage a trois until I find a guy of my own...which I'm hoping he doesn't mind foursome's but that's just wishful thinking on my part ^_^;

@Audrey: Which one I prefer? Well, physically, Damien, cause he's built like a Jock, which is my type that I like. Personality, it's kinda even...but interest wise it's Arty...he's like us O_O only...quietly...a little less random...maybe a touch more sane...

I apologize for the language in this post. I'm pissed off, PMSing, and ranting, so bare with me.

Today is not my day.

First off, I found out that I broke my flashdrive today. The one with EVERYTHING ******** ON IT. It had all my fanfictions, writings, drawings, all of my B/C shop stuff, and all of my ballet pictures that I CAN'T ******** GET BACK. I've been able to recover somethings from my deviantART and from my Gaian journal and a few other places.

BUT ITS ALL GONE.

Then, my boyfriend decided to call me a few hours later and I vented to him a bit. Then I told him i'd been asked to audition for a ballet company at the studio I dance at now, that will be competiting come September. He didn't even remotely sound happy for me, that I could be at the top of the pack for once, instead of the back of a corpse (no not dead person >.>) of a ballet where I don't get seen. He wasn't even enthusiasitc about it. I know why: cause it would mean that we have less time together, again.

He proceeded to tell me about his amazing concert he went to and we hung up. Then I started ranting out loud. This whole thing is opening a can of worms for me. If he doesn't want to support my decition on this, what happens when it comes time to tell him what college I'm going to? Btw, he's going to go to the community college across the street from our highschool. I, on the other hand, actually want to go to a real school. In Washington state.

I'm so ******** mad at him, that he can't even ******** pretend to be happy for me! God, it's like he wants my life to revolve around him. It did. My grades suffered. I ain't doing it again, thank you so ******** much. I'm not bound to him, even if we are going to have sex at some point.

It ******** pissed me off.

Then, I was trying to draw, and PS Elements kept cutting out on me. Constantly. So I gave up.

My life ******** sucks right now.



And thats the end of my rant. Thanks for allowing me to vent.

Thanks Banshee. I ended up finishing my drawings (the little Ghostlings in my sig) after I vented. And listened to the song Still Doll.... 50 times. It was helpful.

Thanks for your randomness. It was funny. ^^

I think there's a way to get data off of a flash drive even if it won't work in your ports, but I don't know for sure. You'd have to ask your local computer nerds and/or the Geek Squad to find out for sure. I think it depends on what happened so the drive doesn't work anymore. Did you accidentally erase it, or did you bump it or drop it so it was damaged and the ports won't read it anymore? If the last one, I would think someone could dismantle the drive and extract the computer chip with all the data in there and... I dunno... either make a new drive (somehow) or find a way to just go ahead and upload everything to either a CD or back onto your comp.

But don't take my word for it, 'cause I really know nothing about computers. ><

As for your boyfriend troubles, frankly, I'd dump him. If he's not gonna be supportive of you and your decisions, then he doesn't deserve you. You deserve the kind of guy who'll cheer you on no matter what, even if your successes mean you won't see each other as much. I've seen plenty of long-distance relationships that worked out beautifully, and not seeing each other for a while can make the time you do spend together that much more... magical, if you'll pardon the expression. sweatdrop

On a lighter note, congrats on your audition! ^o^

Damn straight. What Mizu and C.K. said XD

My friends at school treat me like s**t. Im basically an added prop, their rasist, their loud, their obnoxious, naive children who need to grow up and you ask me why i've put up with them all this time? Because i CANT get rid of them.

I am LITERALLY drained of my whole essance when one of them rings me up at 10 in the morning because their having ******** boy trouble, this isnt once a month, this is twice maybe 3 times a week if im lucky. Oh and am i allowed to talk to them about my crap? OH HEAVEN FORBID, this one girl has repeated to me about her jewish ex for the past 3 months solid on repeat and not once has she ever asked about me or carried on a convosation about my family etc. I bet she has no idea what I've bin threw. i've had to go threw a physical transformation, resorting to cigerettes & weed to get over my last boyfriend. I've nearlly commited suicide on numerous accounts, been cheated on numerous times, OD, starved myself i think the only thing she knew i did was self harming and that was blatently obvious because of the cuts on my arms.

Sometimes, hah, she even compares my depression to hers.

i've never had the comforting aid of a friend nearby to help me, to guide me, i tried but they just never wanted to listen.

i have suffored for so long without the support of my friends & im sick of it now, im tired, upset & sick.

the worst shes had it was her mum was a cheater and left her dad.

Oh yeah and guess what, i told Kez that I wanted to go to stroud college whilst she applied for pitville, my app didnt go threw for stroud and hers didnt go threw for pitville, the next day she told me she didnt get in so i felt bad for ner, naturally. Theysshe said she was going to apply for stroud. She got in, i didnt. She was constantly rubbing it in my face but it's in a nice way so it looked so naive of her, she was like 'oh never mind, you can go to ??? place'


"Oh okay sure, whilst you take my dreams of going to stroud, making new friends, meeting new people, thanks."

Oh did I mention she was ignorant, she thinks im from the caribean i've told her im from ******** south africa.

I am SO tired of them tagging me along to their pointless partys only because they just need someone to go with them so they dont feeel 'alone' then compelltly ignore or dismiss me whenever I'm with them. Mind you, these are meant to be the very same people that are of meant to be my best friends since Junior school.

So we went to a few clubs, my feet were aching, i was irritated by their shitty behavior anyway but i had to wait for them. we went back to my mate, kezi's.

by 3:00 a clock i had had it, i broke down in tears, no not infront of her, in the bathroom, i couldnt bare her seeing me like this cause shes always told me she 'wasnt good with those things' i was in there for a good 30 mins trying to calm myself down, trying to stop the tears but it didnt happen. Whilst she was on the computer in the other room i headed into the kitchen, there i sat there for another 20 minutes to myself, missing my sister (i had a really big argument with her before she left for Texas and ive regretted it since, my sister has been the only one to care for me, support me & love me the way a sister shoul & i was so selfish to her) and trying to tell myself that i should stop crying before Kezia comes in. By the time she did i thought, ******** it i really need to be comfortated right now? And did she? did she ******** to know the first thing she said?
'Are you alright? stop crying'

There was an empty hug after that, she didnt even PROMPT why i was feeling so bad so i had to tell her.

'I-im so sorry kez i just miss my sister so much (because i need someone to talk to) we had an argument before we left and i just feel so s**t--i really need to talk to my siblins.'

Responce: 'Awww, Magz'

(This is never prompted...ever again)

After that she gave me a vacant expression and 2 mins after that she said to me 'so You know Doug? i've been speakin to him over the internet- etc' complelty ignoring that i needed emotional support.
Whilst my tears were falling ,me trying to smear them away not to 'disgust' my friend, she was talking about this really hot guy she had managed to get his number off, and this went on and on and on.

And so we head into the computer room, shes typing away whilst im behind her still sobbing, she can hear me, im loud enough but she dosnt ONCE turn her head.

its 30:30 by this time and im still crying but does she tell me its alright? No. I have never felt such a cold responce from someone who is supposed to have been my best friend.

Oh and this is the best bit ready? Even during the time when i was crying, she still needs MY advice on this boy who 'supposibly' liked her for ages, she was telling me about how far she went with him, their dates that they've got planned & and I had to put her feelings before my own once again.

Im SICK of her, im sick of her copying my clothes, because im her 'inspiration', she 'looks up to me ' No, those are misinturpritiations. SHE IS DRAINING ME, she takes all of my personality, all of my funny quirks, all of my sence of humor and uses it for herself, uses it SO often that in the end i compellty forget that i ever said that.

4;15 Getting no reasurence, i tell her im going upstairs to get ready for bed, she remains on the computer typing to 'Doug'. I get change, cry myself to sleep, but i not once let out a shrill of sound.

Jeez... I can honestly say I know what you're going through cuz I have the same problem with my so called 'best friend'. She's selfish, spoiled, everything you can use to describe the term 'brat'. She likes to feed off her other friends' miseries just to make herself look good-- myself being her main target.

At first when we met, we clicked right away. We had EVERYTHING in common when it came to interests. It got old real fast because she started to claim she liked such&such more than I did, when I was the one who most of the time introduced her to whatever it was! I kept letting it slide because I hate confrontation, but soon she started to turn our friendship into a competition. If I had something, she had to get it (and when it was clothes, claimed it looked better on her). If I wanted something, she had to get it and rub it in my face. And when she couldn't get it, she threw a fit and would complain to me about it for hours. Also, she mooches off of other people. I can't count how many times I would lend her money and never receive my payback. >_>

My problems didn't matter to her, either. It was all about her. She'd ask for my opinion, sure, but when I did tell her my opinion, this is what she'd say most of the time: "That's stupid. Why did I bother asking you?" -.- Tell me, if she's supposed to be my best friend, shouldn't she remember my birthday? I'm serious. She told me on the phone that she already got my birthday present (And suddenly made a list of things she wanted for hers. I got assigned to get her an Itachi plushie. Yes, assigned. She does that sort of thing, too.) but she said I'll have to wait until Christmas to get it. This is basically how the conversation went down:

"Why do I have to wait that long?"
"Cuz it's the closest time to your birthday!"
"... (Her name), when's my birthday?"
"In the spring, right?"
"Uh. NO. It's in August!"
"Oh, right! I forgot! The 14th, right?"
"... No. The 26th. I can't believe you."
"Oh yeah?! Well... when's MY birthday?!"
"July 19th."
"..." (I was right, btw.)

Just recently I started avoiding her in every way I could. I took different routes in school so we wouldn't collide, I hardly ever answer the phone when she calls, etc.

The best thing you should do is try to ignore your 'friend' to the best of your abilities and make newer, nicer ones. Basically, listen to Rae's advice. She took the words out of my mouth. 3nodding