| Family Guy!! |
| HALARIOUS!! |
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95% |
[ 45 ] |
| SUCKS!! |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| So/So |
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4% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 47 |
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 Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:45 pm
Peter: Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:48 pm
Lois: Where would he go?
Peter: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and Crackerjacks.
Brian: I don't care if he ever gets back. I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:49 pm
(Lois and Peter come out wearing the same dress.)
Peter: Well one of us is gonna have to change.
(Lois gives him a look.)
Peter: Oh crap. Unzip me.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:55 pm
(Flashback to a school in what looks like Pilgrim times. A girl gives an answer to a math question.)
Teacher: That's correct. A girl answered a math problem. You know what that means. A WITCH!"
Kids: WITCH! WITCH! WITCH! WITCH!
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:56 pm
Stewie: HA! That's so funny I forgot to laugh... excluding that first Ha.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:59 pm
Police Officer: Hey. That's Against the law. You're coming with me.
Peter: (singing to the tune of U Can't Touch this) Ah ah ah ah. Can't Touch Me/ Can't Touch me/ Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy/ from Lethal Weapon 2/ I've got diplomatic Immunity/ so Hammer, you can't sue/ I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets/ I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat/ Can't touch me/ Can't touch me/
Adam West: What in God's name is he doing?
Peter: Can't touch me.
Cleveland: I believe that's the worm.
Peter: (still singing) Can't touch me/ STOP, Peter time/ I'm a big shot, there's no doubt/ light a fire then pee it out/ Don't like it, kiss my rump/ Just for a minute, let's all do the bump/ Can't touch me/ Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump/ Can't touch me/ I'm Presidential Peter/ Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot/ I've been around the world/ from Hartford to Back Bay/ It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way/ Can't touch me.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:02 pm
Cleveland: Oh, Peter, that tickles me in a way, that if Loretta tickled me in that way, I'd say, Oh yea ... that's nice ... that's the spot.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:03 pm
(Lois is teaching Chris, Stewie and Meg and notices a note being passed.)
Lois: Chris read that note.
Chris: "I think Mrs. Griffin is hot."
Lois: Go to your room!
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:05 pm
Lois: So how was your day?
Brian: My day? Un-freakin' believable. First we nailed this b*****d who had the gall to hide his stuff in his daughter's doll--HER DOLL for God's sake! Where's the line anymore? Well, I got news for ya, it's not even on the radar screen! The days of decency and virtue are gone, honey, BAM, freakin' evaporated like a dingy stinkin' mudpuddle. One day you see your reflection in it and the next day it's a, it's a damn oil spot on your cracked driveway, staring back at you, mocking you, knowing the perverted truths that rot in the pit of your soul. That's how my freakin' day was!
[pause]
Peter Griffin: You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:11 pm
Peter (leaving a message for Mr. Weed): Mr. Weed? This Peter Griffin. I will not be coming to work today, I was in a terrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:19 pm
Robber: I'm gonna go bang my girlfriend and then I'm gonna kill Chris Griffin!
Stewie: Good lord! Can he really say "bang my girlfriend" on TV?
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:20 pm
Peter: Alright, there's one, let's jump that.
(Peter and Brian do a jump off of the back of a truck)
Peter and Brian: YEEEEEEEHAW!!!!!
(They land)
Peter: Oh that was great! Hey, next time let's get Meg to be Boss Hog and Chris can be a**s.
Brian: Enos.
Peter: What'd I say?
Brian: a**s.
Peter: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:23 pm
(Peter goes into an out-house to go to the bathroom)
Peter: Hey Lois?!? I don't think this goes anywhere. (slight pause) No, this definately doesnt go anywhere.
(bird runs into the out-house making it tip over)
Peter:AhahahAhahAh!! OH GOD!! It's everywhere!! Oh god!!
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Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 1:46 pm
Well, Time to hit the ol' dusty trail
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Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 1:50 pm
*Sneaks into school* Singing his own background music*
daaa da da da da da da... daa da da da da da da... da da da da daadaadaadaadaadaa, dedaaa..
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