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 Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 12:19 am
Anyway, this is something I've wanted to rant about for quite some time.
First thing is that I've been role playing for so long that I doubt anyone my age actually does it anymore. Not that I mind that at all. It is just that I couldn't really let it go for some reason. I guess its a way for me to get creative since I'm not that great at drawing at all.
When I was in high school I would sometimes stay up all night role playing online with some friends. Those were good times. At least until that friend seems to disappeared after I moved. It wasn't that big of a deal then. For a while I gave up on role play. But then suddenly I wanted to do it again.
So lucky for me one of the guilds I was in had a subfourm for role play. So I started out there.
However as the years passed it seemed as if not many people took any interest in my story ideas. Or would completely ignore my ideas unless it has some connection with Kingdom Hearts, of Final Fantasy. Which sucks because most of the ideas I do come up with have nothing to do with Kingdom Hearts, or any other video game.
A lot of times when I try to share my ideas I'd often get no feedback. Even if I would go ahead and make the role play people would often ignore it.
I got so irritated by this. That my ideas, and stories got overlooked even with the role play in that guild were quite busy. I thought there was nothing wrong about my original ideas, but no one ever noticed.
It made me doubt myself as a writer. Because I was hoping to write a novel, and have it published. I thought with enough experiences, and a good enough story I'd actually turn one of the original role play that I make into a good novel.... But nobody ever joined unless it was Kingdom Hearts, or a cheap anime knock off that wouldn't make a good novel.... I can't begin to explain how I'm f**king sick of playing Kingdom Hearts role play.
But I'm glad someone pointed out this guild. It really seems to wonderful, and I haven't even joined a role play yet. [I'll look for one soon though]
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 7:41 am
Monday night was my last night of my personal growth class, which is a mandatory class where we learn how to take notes 'correctly,' talk about ways to succeed in college and things like that. I actually really liked the class, I made some really great friends there that I don't think I could have in say, English class. I dunno.
I loved all my classmates in personal growth and told several that I'm going to miss them a lot and hugged some (we didn't exchange emails or numbers so I might not see them again -sniffle-) but there's ... this one guy.
I can't pinpoint the night it started, but in the class we're pretty much required to get into groups and talk to one another about our homework assignments and share ideas and things like that. One night I was in a group with this guy, and maybe that was when?
I mean, he's a really nice guy. He really, truly is. The night he asked me out, I was wary but told him of an hour of free space I have inbetween English and communication class where we can hang out. Not a date, just an hour where we walked around the campus and talked to each other. Maybe this is where I went wrong, maybe I was leading this poor guy on. In retrospect, I'm probably the one who is to blame.
Here's the problem: maybe I just wasn't specific enough when I told him that, yes, I could hang out with him - I just wasn't gonna get into a romantic relationship with him. Just yesterday, because we were hanging out again, I told him I have a problem establishing romantic connections with guys. I don't know why either. Maybe it just takes time.
His hands go all over me, absolutely no discretion, when he hugs me. I mean, he's making no pretense that he's trying to grab my boobies and my butt. I cannot stand that. It is really gross and I feel very, very dirty afterward. Obviously, not in a good way.
Then, as we were sitting, I think he was trying to keep my knees inbetween his legs. That's the way we were sitting, kinda sorta facing each other.
As we walked a flight of stairs, I felt his eyes on my butt. Definitely felt them. You know how you just know when someone is watching you? Yeah. I talked to him as we climbed the flight, and I was just hearing "mmhhmm," "mmhmm," and neutral noises. (I don't remember what exactly I was telling him, sometimes 'mhhmm' is a perfectly acceptable response to something someone is saying.) Tuning me out, but I chalk that up to my annoying squeaky voice. I think I just need to let all my frustration out.
Monday night, last night of personal growth, he asked for a kiss. I told him no. He asked three times for a kiss, each time for which I said no. Buddy, I'm not gonna kiss you. Gross. Each time I said no, he asked for another hug - I'm okay with hugging people, I love to hug and be hugged, but not in that way. Oh my gosh, it is so gross. He's so nice to me, but I want to go take a shower after he hugs me.
So, yesterday, I was like "Look, I'm just not ready for a relationship. I like you as a friend." As of yesterday, I've told him that I just want to be friends about seven times. He asked me for my number, and I said no, but I did give him one of my email adresses. (I have two.) I gave him the one with my actual name in it, it's my more formal one to email for possible jobs and is the one I check much less often. I gave him my email out of obligation, for lack of a better term. So he hugged me again, I felt like I needed to take a shower, and I went into communication class.
And then, oh yeah, I remembered class had been cancelled. Derp.
I stayed in the classroom to read the bulletin board because I'm weird, and this guy from the communication class was standing at the window watching me.
Freaking little creeper. I left the classroom, went into the library, and there was the window-peeper in the enterance to the library. I acknowledged him (I went "heh"), he looked frightened, and then I went to go read freaking Tommyknockers. I felt better afterward, but thinking about it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
It is possible I've misunderstood the both of these guys severely and that I'm the one who is off their rocker, and in retrospect it probably is just me. I mean, probably tommorow I'll look at what I've typed here and go "Really? Infinity, you are so messed up."
Ay. Well, I believe that's it.
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minus infinity Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 7:11 pm
Hello, almighty iRant thread. We meet again.
So, people keeping more and more stuff from me. Better yet, FRIENDS keeping stuff from me. Almost all of them know the exact same thing, none would tell because of one person. So, I believed I figured it out within the day this whole thing started, but that was over like.. Two weeks ago? Something like that, at least. I`ve been playing stupid this WHOLE time, hoping it wasn't correct. Was my guess correct?
Why, yes. Yes it was, iRant thread.
Not only was it EXACTLY what I did not want, they easily could have told me. He likes me. He's a friend, and this could easily make things awkward as ********. But either way, the only time it would really bother me all that much is if I get stalked like I was a few years ago. Plus, I have a boyfriend. This has been going on for so long that ANOTHER friend had to basically make him tell me. Okay, I get it. Shyness. I'm a shy person too. But I'm also a rather logical person at most times, or a very good problem solver. When stuff involving it is happening around me, be it people saying stuff that pertains to it or something that has anything to do with it, I'm obviously going to figure it out. First day this stuff even came up I pretty much had it figured out. Perhaps even a little BEFORE that day. I just hoped that wasn't it. But really, if it's something like that, someone should just tell me rather then leave me in the dark.
Another thing, I have NO idea if I'm going to pass my English course. Work all year, one thing that I handed in is something I somehow magically DIDN'T hand in, tell him this, no. I had to redo it to 'get a grade', even though it was a small assignment. Did it, and I still have no idea whether I'm passing or failing because he refuses to answer me when I ask questions. I swear to god, this English class is going to screw up my entire year. The teacher hates me. I could go on like this for a while. But, long story short, I have like.. ( a bit inaccurate possibly because I don't always get to see my grades ) 80% or higher in ALL my classes, that's including band, pre calculus, biology honours, and social studies. Passing all those classes fairly well, if I may say so, and failing the one class that a teacher hates my guts in? <********.
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 8:31 pm
Long time no see, iRant thread. It has not been long since our last meeting, has it?
So, surgery on your mouth on Saturday. Done. Been on painkillers and anti-inflammatory pills since then. Still swelled a bit and getting pains on and off, but have to keep on with the painkillers since they're definitely keeping it down. You bring up your uncertainty of going to school tomorrow. No school today of course, as it's Victoria day. Was another day of healing. You wait until your Dad leaves the room to tell your Mom about it because he twists everything you say, and thinks of it as grouchy, complaining, or endless excuses. Mom says she thinks I'll be fine, but said she might let me stay depending on how I am in the morning. But what happens? Dad walks in and overhears some of the conversation. Gets mad at me, and tells me I miss too much school. Err, since when? I have a friend who has missed OVER HALF THE SEMESTER and is still passing. I've missed.. What, like two days? Maybe three? He basically blows that off like nothing, pretty much calls me a liar when I TRY and explain what I'm thinking as he repeatedly interrupts every sentence I try to get out.
So, even though I keep getting repeated pains, am swelling a bit, and have been getting bad luck streaks with EVERYTHING, I'm making up excuses so I don't have to go to school. Okay. CROWDED a** ******** HALLWAYS, along with my locker's WONDERFUL ******** LOCATION around a bunch of always-high/drunk IDIOTS might not cause a bad luck? My luck lately, I'll get whacked in the face tomorrow, first thing. If not this, something else will probably happen to inflict pain to my face. On top of all this, I'm sleep deprived, and have been even more so since Saturday night. I've barely been able to eat anything. Instead of at least pondering what I've said, he takes what my Mom says, and pretty much says I'm going to lie to her about my condition tomorrow if she says that. He starts yelling at me. Wonderful.
So, iRant thread, do you understand why I can never ask my Dad anything, or at least have great difficulty with it? I would think so. I really wish he would at least try to listen or understand me sometimes rather than jumping to conclusions that don't even work.
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 4:08 pm
*claps*
The Zeli is bored. -_- Very bored. The rp I joined hasn't started yet and I really want to post. But I can't find anything else that interests me here. And I can't think of any ideas. I don't like making rps based off things I see or watch cause then I don't know where to go with them. I prefer original ones. I could reopen Dragon's Blood, but add more detail, but it was a good base story to build from. No one did though and no one since has ever experessed an interest in it so yea... I'm bored, stumped, and that is not a good thing.
Suggestions for the Zeli?
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 6:34 pm
@Zeli: Go for it and try opening it up. If it's got a good story, people will join.
@All: Internet provider is being a b***h. Silent is pissed. Thank you, that is all.
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SilentShadowDreamer Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 9:24 pm
Irant. I miss you...
I feel like crying right now.
Is there anything /worse/ then being called a guy because you won't show tits to some sixteen year old b*****d on the one (other) place where you could just get away? I ******** HATE GUYS. What is wrong with them? ALL they think about is SEX.
I'm fourteen. I shouldn't be doing that s**t and I KNOW IT. I'm not a lsut, I'm so sorry about that. God dammit.
AND MY CRUSH OF ALL PEOPLE
I mean I KNEW he was a douche, but I thought he actually liked me. Guys are pieces of SHITS.
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Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 9:56 pm
@Star: That type of guy definitely isn't worth your time. You made the right call by not doing that, because it only leads to trouble. Never do something like that for a guy just because he says that he likes you, or something like that, when you feel uncomfortable with it. Especially don't do it over the computer or phone. I'm sorry that that happened to you though, because it definitely sucks If it helps, while there will always be douche bags around, you will meet some nice guys. They're out there, even if they hide. It took me until just this year to get together mine, and I'm eighteen, so there's no shame in waiting for a good one. Just don't give your attention to jerks like that who clearly don't deserve you. Keep your chin up!
@All: My life has been hell. I'm slowly getting something resembling control over it though, and I should be back in the full swing of things soon. I just basically needed to write out the words "my life has been hell" to feel better about it. xD
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:59 pm
....I HATE THOSE ADVERTISEMENTS THAT COME UP EVERY SINGLE TIME I GO TO ANOTHER PAGE. I HOPE THE CREATORS GET HIT BY A BUS, RUN OVER BY A SEMI BEFORE THEY CAN GET UP, GET PICKED UP BY AN AMBULANCE, AND THAT AMBULANCE GETS HIT BY A GOD DAMN TRAIN.
...That will be all. heart
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:45 pm
Ay me, I feel as though my heart has been taken for a ride.
Firstly, let's start out the prologue, something to lead onto the event. So I'm staying after school to level my math skills (nearly failing), when I'm done I leave the school, right? I'm walking, looking at my phone to see if my mom will pick me up or I'll have to walk home as usual. And then there's this group of guys just standing there, not sure why, but they're in the school. So I walk past them, not thinking much when one decides to laugh at me, a sort of awkward snicker that turned into full-belted laughter from his friends and him. Being the self-conscious dunce I am I feel immorally sickened and nearly cried. Thus the beginning of me hating every single human being on the planet.
Also, my eyebrow keep effing twitching. WTF, every time I sneeze, and sometimes at random...I think I've been getting enough sleep, so am I stressed? Oh, I wish school was over...stupid snowdays, stupid, stupid snowdays.
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SilentShadowDreamer Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 3:35 pm
This started out as a complaint and degenerated into a rant about this year, last year, and school/bureaucracy bullshit. Please put up with me.
Anyway.
Managing to actually register for classes at my university should count as passing a freaking test all on its own, what with how confusing it is and how they don't explain anything and all the roadblocks they throw in your way... scream
For example, on my paper which shows the necessary prereqs for my classes, the only prerequisite for Phys 102 - which just happens to be a class I need in order to graduate with the degree I want to have - is Physics 11 (or Physics 20 in weird-a** NWT/Alberta terminology). I passed Physics 20 with 92%, it was stupid easy.
So please tell me why when I attempt to register for Physics 102, it claims I have a prerequisite error. What is that error? Do I need a university-level math course to take alongside it? Is Math 100 or 102 a pre- or co-requisite that simply isn't mentioned on the paper? Do I need Physics 30 (aka Physics 12) after all and the paper is lying to me? Are they just ******** with my head? Do they just hate me?
WHO KNOWS. THEY WON'T TELL YOU.
If you wanna know what that problem with your prereqs is, you have to see an advisor. You cannot make appointments in advance, you cannot call in the day before and say "Hey, do you have any spaces for X day at X time, I really need to talk to someone." You must show up on their doorstep at 8:30 AM sharp, make an appointment, and then leave and come back at your designated time. Maybe people who have part-time classes can do that, but my classes start at 8:30 AM every. single. day. for the entire year, and they bounce all over the place all day. I don't have time to stand in line waiting for the dragon at the advisor gates to hand out scraps. And then half the time once you get to said dragon, she asks "What do you want?"
So you tell her. And then she just hands you a piece of paper - THAT LOOKS MYSTERIOUSLY LIKE THE ONE THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE AND THAT DOES NOT HELP YOU IN ANY WAY - and says "You don't need an appointment, the answers are on there."
No. No, they are ******** well not. If the answers were on that piece of paper that is exactly like the one I am showing you while explaining my problem, I wouldn't be here. Do you think I enjoy wasting my time standing in line? Do you think I'm just here to waste your time? Do you think I have nothing better to do? Because I do, you know, like homework. And I know you do too. So it would be much easier on both of us if you would just give me my appointment so I can leave. Trust me when I say that I am asking for this appointment because I do need it, not because I want to waste my time, your time and the advisor's time.
Gah. I ******** hate all this stupid red tape to get to where I want to go. This career had better be worth it, is all I can say.
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Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 10:25 pm
A rant thread, eh? This is pretty much right up my alley. xd
Dear mother. I can understand why you might miss hearing my voice. I can understand why you'd wish you could see me again, and why your writings contain wishes to be able to hug/hold/various things to me. I can understand why you've written all this and sent me requests for me to call and whatnot. Really, it's...not that difficult to understand.
Except you're the one who left. You're the one who packed up a bunch of her stuff and took the car all the way back to Michigan. You're the one who abandoned me here. So don't get all weepy and emotional when we're on the phone, and don't act like this wasn't entirely by choice. You weren't coerced, you weren't forced to this, you willingly performed every step of getting away from here. So you'll have to excuse me if I'm not exactly sympathetic, mainly because you're the one who chose to get away from me, and I don't particularly want you back anyway.
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LovetoCauseMayhem Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 8:23 pm
Rant thread, my name is Mayhem.
So yeah. I bought a new laptop. YAY ME! Good news.
BAD NEWS ------------> They charged my debit card twice, making my account fall 250 dollars into the ******** red the day I need to gas up, drive the long-a** way to LAX, and pick up my folks. I call the ******** website, and the obviously Indian woman is like, "Sorry ma'am, it's a hold on your account, and it'll take 3-4 days to vanish."
Um, lady, I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I DON'T HAVE THREE TO FOUR DAYS.
So we call my bank. We call them twice. The second time, we finally get a representative, and she says, "Sorry. You've already put in your account number and social, sure, but the computer didn't save any of that information, and we can't verify your information with a third party on the line. You'll have to call back." b***h.
So I ask her, Is there a 1-800 number that we can call to get directly to this department? She gives me one. The website lady calls that number, IT'S A ******** LINE TO VERIFY CHECKS. WTF. I DON'T HAVE ANY CHECKS TO VERIFY DAMMIT. But I give the automaton my information anyway, and it tells me,
"I'm sorry, but I can't verify any accounts at this time. Please try at a later time."
WHAT THE ********. DO THE FREAKIN REPRESENTATIVES EVEN KNOW THEIR OWN ******** NUMBERS???
We try twice. Same damn thing. I can't hang up, because that would sever my tie with the website rep, so I have to ******** STAY ON THE LINE UNTIL THE AUTOMATON HANGS UP ON ******** we finally get a hold of a rep of my bank who can actually ******** do something. He does it, it's cool, whatever. My account's back to normal. Just now, I check my bank account again.
NOW MY ******** SAVINGS ACCOUNT IS DOWN 250 DOLLARS TO COVER THE ******** OVERDRAFT PROTECTION THAT WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.
So I have to call my bank again.
I did so. The lady said the funds are still processing, so they'll be back in my back account by tomorrow ******** this. A new computer should not be this much trouble before I even ******** get it. If there's any trouble with that machine, I swear to ******** God... D<
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 10:21 pm
This is a general rant I've been storing up for some time. = w = Don't mind me. I just can't take it anymore.
A Brief Rant: Or, Words Mean Things
I am twenty years old, soon to be twenty-one.
In my country, I have the legal right to vote, to drive, to drink, and I take advantage of all those rights. I do not live at home with my parents; in fact, I am several provinces away from them, and I live independently. I am a full-time university student, carrying a full courseload and an 8.3 GPA. In the summers, I work full-time and volunteer, and all my previous employers have reported satisfaction with my work. I have paid taxes for the past three years. My rent and other bills are paid promptly and in full. Though I do not yet have a mortgage, I do have a credit card that I use rarely in order to build up my credit rating, and which is always promptly paid.
I am a productive member of society, and I am a legal adult.
So why, I ask, do people – often strangers – insist on calling me a girl?
A girl is at the same age as a boy. A girl denotes someone young, helpless, dependent – usually a child. A girl plays with toys, writes in crayon, has her mommy or daddy kiss her scrapes better. I know all this, because many years ago I was a girl.
I am not a girl anymore. I’m a woman. A young woman, to be sure, but I have definitely left the realm of childhood behind.
The male students on my campus are, to a one, considered men. Some of them are younger than I; many of them are less responsible. Why is it that I and many other female students on campus are still demoted to less, to girls, that we’re left as children while the males are allowed to be adults?
We are adults too. We have grown up, and we want to be called what we are.
Woman. It’s not a dirty word.
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SilentShadowDreamer Vice Captain
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SilentShadowDreamer Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:59 pm
I am seriously about ready to lose my s**t on my roommate's a*****e new boyfriend. Holy ******** s**t, I have met him four times, and each time he has managed to demean me, dehumanize me, condescend to me, piss me off...
And then today, after doing ALL OF THE ABOVE?
"Man, you look pissed off!"
Upon my responding that my not constantly smiling does not necessarily mean I'm pissed off, and when I'm angry, he'll know:
"I bet you're cute when you're angry!"
...b***h, are you for real?
Even if I had known you for years, I would not consider this an acceptable response. I have known you all of a week. Your girlfriend of two weeks, and my roommate of two years, is RIGHT ******** THERE. STANDING RIGHT BESIDE YOU. I CAME INTO THE KITCHEN FOR LITERALLY FIVE ******** SECONDS. I CAN'T AVOID ASSHOLES HITTING ON ME IN MY OWN ******** HOUSE.
ARE YOU FOR REAL?!
The worst part? She laughed. She thought it was funny. Roomie, WTF? I thought you were better than this!
I pay rent on this house. I want to be able to move around my house as though it's a safe space for me, and not feel afraid and restricted to my room because my roommate's new boyfriend is over.
But on the other hand, my roommate also pays rent on this house, and I don't want to restrict who she may and may not have at our house or how often she may have them over, because that is not my place. It's her home as well as mine, and I don't want her to feel like her guests are unwelcome in her home.
But again, to reiterate: When he is here, I feel uncomfortable, demeaned, and threatened. I feel restricted to my room, and as though I should have the door locked. I don't feel safe. IN MY OWN ******** HOUSE.
Please, God, don't let this turn out to be a serious relationship, because I am counting the days until they break up.
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