EagerEyes
Mmm...lets see...i have a HUGE b***h/crisis. So I apologize in advance.
My parents are going through one of the ugliest divorces ever. They've had a loveless marriage for YEARS (as long as I can remember) it was more of a symbiotic relationship than a marriage. My dad makes the money and my mom cooks, cleans and raises the children. My mom got breast cancer and my dad walked out on her a few days after her surgery, and also 3 days after my boyfriend of 3.5 years hit me and we broke up. I had to come home mid semester of college (I only have 1 year left and its very frustrating) to come home and take care of her. My mom throws darts at pictures of my dad, my dad makes suicide threats and has gone back to drinking heavily...we just found out that for the last few years he's been cheating on my mom with a co-worker who sent home food for my family during my mom's surgery (while she was screwing my dad). And while in the midst of all this family crap, I'm dealing with getting a restrainer order against this psycho stalker, one of my childhood friends died in a car accident and I can't get over it, I'm in love with someone that I shouldn't be and he's not sure whether he wants me or not so i'm stuck in this weird love limbo...and one of my ex boyfriends (who yes, i still have feelings for[not the abusive one]) wants us to get back together and it's taking everything in me not to say yes because I am so lonely. Friends are few for me. Therapy doesn't seem to help much.
Why am I writing here? Sadly, I feel it's the only place I have to go. I'm hanging on by a thread. I'm desperately trying to find happiness in myself. Because I don't want to depend on someone or something. Everything is temporary. But I am failing miserably.
My parents are going through one of the ugliest divorces ever. They've had a loveless marriage for YEARS (as long as I can remember) it was more of a symbiotic relationship than a marriage. My dad makes the money and my mom cooks, cleans and raises the children. My mom got breast cancer and my dad walked out on her a few days after her surgery, and also 3 days after my boyfriend of 3.5 years hit me and we broke up. I had to come home mid semester of college (I only have 1 year left and its very frustrating) to come home and take care of her. My mom throws darts at pictures of my dad, my dad makes suicide threats and has gone back to drinking heavily...we just found out that for the last few years he's been cheating on my mom with a co-worker who sent home food for my family during my mom's surgery (while she was screwing my dad). And while in the midst of all this family crap, I'm dealing with getting a restrainer order against this psycho stalker, one of my childhood friends died in a car accident and I can't get over it, I'm in love with someone that I shouldn't be and he's not sure whether he wants me or not so i'm stuck in this weird love limbo...and one of my ex boyfriends (who yes, i still have feelings for[not the abusive one]) wants us to get back together and it's taking everything in me not to say yes because I am so lonely. Friends are few for me. Therapy doesn't seem to help much.
Why am I writing here? Sadly, I feel it's the only place I have to go. I'm hanging on by a thread. I'm desperately trying to find happiness in myself. Because I don't want to depend on someone or something. Everything is temporary. But I am failing miserably.
you know I'm here for you <3 *hugecomfortinghug*
