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 Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:53 pm
I'm not sure why she was named Q, we adopted her from her owner when she moved out.
Hm, perhaps I forgot to mention that we got our water back shortly after that post. Oops. I got home, turned on the tap, water came out, I did a happy dance, and immediately bathed. smile
As for the blood, I was exaggerating, but I just felt so dirty because I wash my hands constantly and I couldn't do it, and I also don't have any hand sanitizer (which is actually a good thing, cos I was kind of obsessed with using it, which isn't good for my hands).
Also, I don't think it's bad not to wash your hands a lot, unless there are sick people around, you're sick yourself, or you've touched something dirty. I just wash my hands a lot because I border on OCD (I like to say I have OC without the D, since it's not really interfering with living or anything) and I always feel like my hands are really dirty.
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 9:36 am
I'm quite complusive about washing my hands. I do it basically every time I go into the washroom even if I only went in there to fix my hair.
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 9:42 am
Well of course, Nios. I mean, you've just touched your hair, that absolutely warrants a hand washing!!! smile
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 9:51 am
gonk Are you calling my hair dirty? I was just using that as an example. I also go to say, brush my teeth, or see if my outfit is ok. Man.. I sound so vain.
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 8:45 am
Nios gonk Are you calling my hair dirty? I was just using that as an example. I also go to say, brush my teeth, or see if my outfit is ok. Man.. I sound so vain.
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:56 am
So Saturday was the anniversary of my old boyfriend's death. It's been three years since he died of cancer. I hurt inside because I can't remember what he sounded like or smelled like. I can't remember the sound of his laugh.
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:13 am
I'm sorry to hear that, Nios. I wish there was something deep and meaningful and helpful I could say...
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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 10:07 am
I went to the show at the bar Tuesday night. After the show I walked outside into a big blizzard. The buses had stopped running and the snow was coming down hard. Instead of trying to get home, I walked to my friend Shean's place.
We had such a great night cuddling and talking. We lay with the window open and the snow and wind spraying through the screen onto our faces. We were up past 5:00 am. We slept till 3:00 pm but lay in bed and cuddled more till 5:00pm.
I stayed there for the day because work was cancelled and I had planned on going over there that evening anyways for La friend's birthday. I was still feeling depressed though. I've been depressed since Saturday. We went to the bar and had a few drinks. I hadn't planned on drinking or even staying around that long but I actually started to have some fun. I talked to Shean most of the night. He told me how special and romantic the night before had been. When he came back from the washroom he confessed he'd just done some more cocaine. I tried to just shrug it off as that's none of my business.
The cigarette smoke got really bad so I stepped outside to get some fresh air. I wasn't wearing a jacket. I don't know what came over me but I started to run. I ran until I got to Hughie's house. Then I cried and totally ruined any sense of my happy mood I had created and went back to the bar. I was miserable for the rest of the night. Other than the playful fist fight I had outside the bar with a friend, things were pretty uneventful. At midnight almost everyone [20 some people] left to go to to another to drink some more and to dance. Shean and a kid named Mitch came back to the apartment with me. Mitch and Shean went in his room to smoke cigarettes. Mitch decided to try cocaine with Shean.
I got really angry at myself for caring. I have no right to care about such things. Shean kept apologizing to me and I didn't know why. I'm no one to apologize to. My feelings shouldn't be affected by his actions. It made him happy so I should be happy he's happy and that's it. I have no right to feel upset over it. I wasn't even sure what it was that was upsetting me. I told him everything was ok. I tried to sleep in Shean's bed as they rambled endlessly about music. I felt so overwhelmed with emotions. Some emotions don't even have names. At 3:00 am I had to hurt myself but I didn't have my blade on me. I hurt myself the one way I knew how. Teeth and nails. This time the pain didn't help.
At 4:00am Shean came to bed. He freaked out and started crying and all I could do was hold him and say comforting things. When he was okay we just cuddled intimately until we fell asleep. Now I'm home.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 12:52 pm
My rant is simple. I'm just burnt out. I'm tired. Things are really getting to me. I need rest.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 5:57 pm
And now to add to my rant from earlier - between then and now I opened my mail to find a letter telling me that my name change case is closed. I made a long rant about this in the transgentlemen guild, so I won't do it here... I'm just so... Life is hard.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 12:15 am
Carpal Tunnel.
The end.
Can't say I didn't see it coming... rolleyes
Edit: Reject, your transgentleman guild banner leads to the "Guild home" image and not the actual guild. X|
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:22 am
Q Edit: Reject, your transgentleman guild banner leads to the "Guild home" image and not the actual guild. X|
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 5:05 pm
At work today I left to use the washroom and to my horror the gender neutral washroom was out of order. Standing there in the T-junction of the hall ways directly between the men's room and the ladies room I felt helpless. I went in search of the apparent other gender neutral washroom in the mall that I hadn't used yet. I found it. There was a men's room and then there was the "everything else room" which was still clearly labelled "women's". Still feeling conflicted as to what I should do I grudgingly went in there. When I walked out I got a nasty look from a woman who was waiting outside. I felt humilated. And all I had wanted to do was wash my hands before I ate my lunch...
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 6:45 am
Why didn't you just go in the men's room?
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 6:55 pm
I used to brave that back when I could bind but now that I can't bind anymore I don't risk the chance of having security or what not hassling me.
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Reply
![[Q]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/23/15/1f06246f41523_flip.png?t=1465986572_6.00_11)
