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 Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 7:10 am
   RETURNMORETOCEN【Enigma⌒o f⌒freedom】RETURNMORETOCEN
【Unclosing⌒a n⌒unseen⌒d o o r】RETURNMORETOCEN ☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽RETURNMORETOCEN
“ No…I don’t think I’m okay…”
Finally! For once Bella wasn't putting up the show that she was just fine and didn't need anybody to worry about her. Perhaps this was a good sign, perhaps the awkward moment of catching her had let to something the blonde wouldn't have ever expected.
She quietly listened to the brunettes talk and shortly taking hold of her hand when she admitted that she was sick of being hurt of her supposed best friend. Best the blonde could do was try and be supportive as she had done for each week she had seen and been with the brunette. She was a bit shocked to hear the last words.
“ I think Casey’s the father...he doesn’t know…and right now I’m not sure if I want to tell him yet.”
For a moment Iorwen had to swallow tightly almost believing she had done something incredibly stupid by helping Casey talk to her new friend. Always with the pure intentions, yet people only seemed to abuse her goodness. Well, she couldn't quite say that. She had suggested her help herself and hadn't been initially asked for it. Perhaps it would be a good idea to keep her nose out of business that wasn't hers. However, it was probably already for to late for that.
Irowen wasn't sure what to say, but eventually she opted for. "If you need it I'll try to support you." She whispered quietly, but definitely convincingly. "I don't have the answers, but I think those will come in time." She wanted to be there for the brunette, that would be a good start for the young woman's broken hard that she wanted to mend. She wouldn't be sure that she could mend it, but at least she was trying and that was more than what could be said for some.
The blonde remained silent for the rest of the class, not really getting along with the new info. She'd have to catch up at home.
☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 7:40 am
[Dun dun dunnnn]
Throughout the morning Harold tried to find Casey in-between all his classes; however, the boy was not to be found, and the rare time when he thought he saw him, Harold could have sworn that Casey darted into another hallway like a frightened hamster. ‘ Probably wasn’t him…’ Harold had thought at the time, but as the man had not wasted the time to try and seek him out to ‘break up with him’, Harold began to doubt himself. ‘ Well, I think I know one way to find him.’ Harold gathered his things before the bell rang for lunch, and began to follow Bella outside the school. Sure enough, like clockwork, Harold saw Casey starting to rush down a hallway to catch the brunette before she left in her car so the man came out of hiding and grabbed Casey’s arm.
“ Wait…”, Harold’s voice was surprisingly calm for having recently found out Casey’s infidelity. In fact, the man seemed a little hurt, but altogether too calm for a sane person to be. Little did Casey know, Harold had taken a mild sedative in order to get him through classes earlier today, so his mood would stay calm for a little while.
“ Casey…can we talk in private? Its important…”, With that, Harold looked at Bella disappearing into the parking lot before trying to lead Casey to a quiet place under a willow tree near the library.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:13 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
Casey's attempt to find Bella had apparently given him more luck to find Harold. He had almost run into the man, but he had managed to skip into another hall just in time or so Casey had thought. He was lucky enough to have Harold discard it as another being. Casey didn't really want to talk to Harold right now, he had other things on his mind. Like we already know.
After his pretty much last class he got lucky enough to find Bella with Iorwen in the hallway. They were leaving the building though and Casey started to make sprint for them. Now or never, it was time he proved that he had been serious when he said that he wanted to fix their relationship. For a moment Casey was sure he was going to reach them in time, he hadn't been counting on being pulled out of his trajectory by Harold. He hadn't even noticed the man in the corridor until it was to late. With wide eyes he stared at Harold. It didn't look like he had either noticed or heard that Casey had been around Bella the previous day. That was good right.
“ Wait…”
Honestly he wasn't interested in what Harold wanted or had to say or whatever. A little skitterish Casey tried to see he could still see the women further down the hall, but they were gone. Casey made one attempt to break away from Harold, but the man's grip on his arm was too tight. It was then that Casey started to smell something was off. with wide eyes he looked at the painted man.
“ Casey…can we talk in private? Its important…”
I honestly don't care any more thought Casey for a moment, resisting Harold's movement to outside, but then he did led himself be led around. Casey wasn't too happy about the where. He wondered why Harold needed the 'privacy'. Casey still felt slightly guilty for 'cheating'. He was serious about letting go of the man he was now with. He just had to bring him up to date.
"Harold.. I don't think it matters allot any more." Said Casey his voice a little shaky, thinking he might just be about to get that demon out of Harold again. "I don-" He was interrupted by Harold then.
He was going to say he didn't want him any more.
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:44 am
[Oh Casey, Casey...]
“ Harold…” The man used his real name, that was never a good sign. “ I don’t think it matters allot anymore.” Casey’s voice wavered apprehensively, and a heartbroken anger flashed through Harold’s chest. A bitterness settling on the painted man’s tongue that was birthed by the bitterness festering in his heart at just hearing the words that had come out of Casey’s mouth. ‘ Wow…You really are an a*****e. No wonder Bella didn’t talk to you for a month.’ Cold and unfeeling himself, Harold no longer felt generous enough to let Casey speak his peace.
“ Casey…I came out here to tell you...that I’m in love with someone else.”, Harold slowly shook his head in anger at the disrespect he was being given. Scoffing a laugh at wanting to be ‘respectful’ in the first place, Harold sneered in irritation.
“ I thought it only right to end things on good terms, explain why...I didn't want to hurt you, which is why I’ve been avoiding you lately, but you know what? You’re an a*****e.”, Harold’s anger clearly showed on his face as he spat out his opinion. Still shaking his head every so often throughout his speech in disbelief.
“ Here I was, feeling guilty for thinking of someone else, when you disregarded me completely and cheated on me.”, Harold hurriedly nodded once as if Casey could possibly accuse him of lying.
“ Yeah. I had a long talk with Bella this morning.”, The pain was clearly evident on Harolds face as his eyes started to water, and his facial muscles contorted in a sorrowful expression.
“ You lied and told her we weren’t together?”, Harold furiously shook his head in disbelief, knowing that to be true simply because of knowing Bella’s nature enough not to lie about serious things without her nostrils widening.
“ I can understand…you having feelings for anyone else on this s**t-faced planet! But instead of wasting five minutes to call and break up with me you just decide to screw around behind my back!”, The sedatives were starting to wear off, but the medication still held some sway over his mood; Keeping Harold in a normal state of mind, instead of overly aggressive or violent.
“ To think, I thought you really cared about me.”, His lip wavering as if he was resisting the urge to spit or vomit, Harold had nothing else weighing heavily upon his mind and finished his conclusion by raising both hands in front of him as if creating a mental wall between their bodies. A mime-like ‘don’t talk to me’ gesture with both hands used to convey his point. ‘ Wow. Just wow.’ Harold had spent all morning wondering how he would say everything on his mind, and he had hoped to be able to speak in a calm and mature fashion. Ha, that thought went out of the window a long time ago.
“ Just…Just leave us alone. We’ve had enough of this bullshit.”, Not specifying whom he meant, Harold turned around and walked off before he said something worse, horrible, that he might permanently regret saying to his ‘ex’. ‘ I’ve said enough. He’ll figure it out soon enough. ’
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:43 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
Of all the things Casey could've expected to happen, what was coming to him was the last thing he'd have thought of. He didn't even see it coming, let alone that he had considered the coming words of Harold.
“ Casey…I came out here to tell you...that I’m in love with someone else.”
He what? Sure fine! Casey didn't need to know that right? It wouldn't really matter right?
“ I thought it only right to end things on good terms, explain why...I didn't want to hurt you, which is why I’ve been avoiding you lately, but you know what? You’re an a*****e.”
Casey's mouth started to twist into a rather dark grimace, old frustrations starting to surface. What right did Harold have to talk? He been around his back doing all sort of shitty things and God knew what. It must've been horrid enough to make Bella act like Harold had turned into a damn poltergeist whenever the painted man was around. It wasn't hard to tell difference. Hurt him? Casey was pretty sure he could expect anything from Harold, because he was damn sure the Harold he knew was dead. Who really was the a*****e? Who went around beating up Einian for no good reason?
“ Here I was, feeling guilty for thinking of someone else, when you disregarded me completely and cheated on me.”
Guilt! Ha... What a joke! The raven's eyes started to narrow. Did it all really matter that he 'cheated'? Nothing that big happened anyhow! How could he cheat on someone that wasn't the same person he had once started with?
“ Yeah. I had a long talk with Bella this morning.”
Oh great. Just ******** great! Just when he was getting somewhere Harold just had to go and have one of his talks again. It really started to look ugly when he started to have his talks to begin with. Stealing the ring and replacing it with another and for what? To just come back on it all and call him an a*****e and claim he had had his mind on somebody else. But who just who?! Casey was sure he was clenching his fist hard enough to dig his own nails into his own palm.
“ Just…Just leave us alone. We’ve had enough of this bullshit.”
It didn't really reach home in Casey's mind any more. He was to busy being very, very angry. he was furious and he didn't let Harold go for very far.
"You ******** jealous little ******** lashed out with a punch, this one hitting home, but Casey was calmed with just one. The young male was definitely seeing red.
"You just had to have one of those idiot talks again!" Casey lashed out again and again, but found resistance now.
"Haven't you ******** it all up enough!" Yelled Casey, now leaping forward to get Harold to the ground. He was capable of strangling the man right now and tried to get a hold of Harold's neck.
"I don't even ******** know you any more!"
Casey had to change his tactic, receiving return blows now, but he didn't quite stop fighting Harold. Right now he was unfeeling for physical pain as he was filled with anger and emotional pain.
"Who the hell are you!"
Casey just screamed whatever was on his mind. All bets were off, the masks not quite down yet. The raven was trying to get his revenge for weeks of careful balancing just being blown to hell, because mister decided he had actually been thinking about somebody else. How could he not need bullshit anymore then?! It started to sink in...
He was not talking about Bella was he? <******** an instant Casey tried to bruise Harold's face as much as he could. He tried to drag out the man's hair. He just tried all he could to damage as much as he could in his anger.
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:09 am
[]
“ You just had to have one of those idiot talks again!”, Harold tried to stop Casey’s fist from jabbing him in the stomach, only barely missing one of his ribs as Harold’s face curled in a snarl. ‘ I’m allowed to talk to whoever I please! ESPECIALLY BELLA!’ Scratching his way like a cat, Harold was about to bite down on Casey’s face when he remembered every single love nibble he had ever given this slimeball and stopped himself short of doing something drastic. Casey was just upset and lashing out; did Harold really want to use his wrestling team training to do serious damage to him? No.
“ I don’t even ******** know you anymore!”, Starting to be viciously choked, Harold gagged as his hands tried to choke Casey enough for the man to let him go and be able to breathe again.
“ Who the hell are you!” What a STUPID ******** QUESTION! Who else would he be but himself? If Casey failed to know who he was then he was a thick as a rock to begin with! Trying only to defend himself, Harold let the man punch him or kick him so long as it wasn’t something life threatening before a look of realization flashed on Casey’s face, and like a roaring lion, Harold began to feel a twinge of fear up his spine. Only then truly fighting Casey, Harold punched and kicked and used wrestling moved in order to gain enough of an upper hand to eventually attempt to throw Casey off of him. Had he been successful, Harold would have stood and glared at his ex with a bloody nose.
“ You want to know who I am?!”, Answer the stupid question first of course.
“ Its me. Skull. ‘Skully’ whatever the hell you want to call me, I haven’t changed! But I did find out three months ago that I have bi-polar disorder. Mother’s side of the family! The meds I’m on screw up a whole lot of s**t with my moods and the fact that I’ve been taking anti-depressants only ******** me up more.”, Snarling from being deeply hurt, Harold shook his head and wiped the blood from his chin.
“ I’ve been in and out of the hospital the past few weeks Casey. Though I hardly expect YOU to NOTICE when you obviously wouldn’t have cared a ******** that I was in the hospital all weekend!”, Harold hadn’t wanted to confess anything to Casey, especially about his condition out of shame; but, at this point he no longer cared. The more time passed, the more he began to regret ever liking Casey to begin with. Even when he was quote: ‘normal’, and not suffering from any mental illness.
“ You want to know what else is making me act different? FINE I’ll tell you!”, Harold sniffed in the residue of blood and fluid up his nose before wiping the rest of it away.
“ That night after the party, me and Bella slept together. Right before we got together. You think I was okay with that once I found out that you had feelings for her? Cause I’m not!” Harold was venting now as well, snarling his words.
“ If you had seen the way Einian looked at Bella all the time, and made moves when you weren’t around, you would have beat him to a pulp too.”, That was all Harold could say on the matter, or wished to, before a teacher stormed out the door thinking he had to still break up a fight.
“ What’s going on out here!?!”, ‘ Absolutely nothing. We’re done.’ Harold abruptly stormed off to his car before the teacher could write him a citation or punish him in some ghastly way.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:59 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
Casey didn't have a chance against Harold if the man had really fought his best. So it wasn't a big surprise Casey was thrown of. His knuckles were sore from all the punching and his body, neck and face from Harold's return.
“ You want to know who I am?!”
Yes of course! Some answer would help! Some sign of humanity. Some left over of the old Harold would help allot. All Casey was seeing was cruel, cruel man out to drive him to the ground. That was all that Casey was seeing in Harold right then.
One hell of a long explanation came Casey's way. Bottom line was Harold had gone mental and hadn't even told Casey a thing. So much for trust! So much for a little faith that Casey might just have accepted that fact. Yet, no. He just had to go around acting like a ******** alien. So how could Casey be blamed for the misery? He hadn't even known Harold had a little bit of a disorder. It was quite a bit of an explanation for half of the misery that had been going on with Harold.
“ You want to know what else is making me act different? FINE I’ll tell you!”
Oh no... What was coming now?
“ That night after the party, me and Bella slept together. Right before we got together. You think I was okay with that once I found out that you had feelings for her? Cause I’m not!”
Casey seemed to have been hit with a brick and all colour drained out of his face. Harold had slept with Bella? Shock came into Casey's eyes and he wasn't really listening any more. Had Bella really knowingly slept with Harold? That notorious 'I can't think about a woman sexually without getting sick' man? Now it seemed to be Casey's turn to grown mentally ill. Casey could care little about what Harold said about Einian.
He had slept with Bella? Is that why he had so persistently been going around Casey's back to talk with her in his stead? What had he been telling her? Casey really wanted to know, but he must've sat there on the ground near the tree pale like a corpse for over and hour.
One thing was for sure he never even wanted to see a sign of Harold ever again.
_____________________Five days later__________________
Casey had thought allot, but he hadn't actively looked for Bella. He was afraid to find Harold with her if he did and he still couldn't bear thinking about the idea of Bella being with Harold whether it was real or not. The man saying that was enough to make Casey's heart bleed like a ********. There was something else playing in his mind. The mad man had perhaps tricked Bella. Casey couldn't know for sure, but the ring and... The cologne hadn't fit into the whole story of that night yet. Casey wasn't sure what Harold had been doing and now he really wanted to know Bella's side of the story and not the white lies harold had been telling him.
Today Casey had gone to the cinema. He had been a little lost in those days and he was trying to distract himself from a brooding depression because of the cruel world being bred in his mind. Casey still didn't know anything for sure other than he loved Bella and that he was capable of killing Harold if he'd show up again. Today the little cinema was running Thor. Casey had been late for the movie and had gone to toilet first. When he came out of the little corridor into the main hall where food and drinks were sold he could quite believe his eyes though.
Bella was there.
Casey was frozen in disbelief for a few seconds and simply stared at the woman's back until he kicked himself in the butt to move and bring some truth to his words, actions and thoughts. Not trying to mind his nerves or worries he simply approached Bella and touched her shoulder to draw her attention.
"Bella?" Casey swallow tightly, filled with nerves. He hoped she wouldn't glare at him, hoped she had been fed a load of lies. That she only bore the illusions of his unthoughtful silly actions. Casey sounded really calm thought, actually almost sad.
"I'm sorry..." He started pausing for a second. "For running out on you. It was stupid..." That was true, but Casey wasn't getting to the point. He lightly swallowed again not sure what to read on her face, but he tried not think about what she'd think, he tried to think about the close friendship they had once had. His excuses sounded extremely shallow though.
"W-what has..." He barely dared to speak on afraid that saying Harold's name would cause a s**t storm to come from the brunette. He tried not think about that though, but he couldn't keep the fear out of his voice. "Harold been telling you?"
Please remember who I am. Now what he's been painting
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:40 am
[New poly]
“Beep, beep, beep.”, Bella’s little go-phone mumbled in Bella’s pocket early Saturday morning to find a text from Harold.
‘ To: Billy.
From: Skull.
Message: Hey I get out from my
appointment a little later today.
want to meet me afterwards?
I have coupons to Regal Theatres.’
Bella, having planned on just meeting Harold for a bite at subway after his appointment, had nothing better to do today. ‘ Sure, what time do you want me ready by?’ Waiting hours later than she had originally anticipated, Harold eventually picked her up looking quite different than he usually did. For one thing, he took off almost all the face paint he usually wore, and even dressed a slight bit more…like a strait man would. Unsure what to say, only that she worried whether or not Harold felt comfortable looking like that, without that Casey lip ring, Bella thought the ride to the movies was a little awkward. Harold dropping her off to wait in line at the snack bar, Harold left to go park the car and pay for tickets. The man caught her while she was still waiting in line to hand Bella her ticket before vanishing to get them good seats before they were all filled up. However, not ten steps from purchasing a bucket of popcorn and a large soda, a very familiar voice caught her in a dimly lit hallway.
“ Bella?”, Oh cr*p. ‘What is he doing here? ’, Bella’s heart throbbed in her throat like a croaking frog, and she slowly turned her head to look at Casey. Her brown eyes flickering towards the floor to break eye-contact almost as swiftly as she formed the connection. Expecting a ‘hey, how have you been’, Bella was surprised at hearing an ‘I’m sorry’. ‘ Really? now? because you happened to see me at a movie threatre?’ Bella didn’t say anything, she just shrugged her shoulders as if to say that it was nothing worth talking about. Casey didn’t seem to notice, and rambled on about it, but her heart was hardened to the matter.
“ W-what has…”, Still thinking he would turn this into a ‘how are you’ of some sort, Bella mentally girded her mouth to form the words ‘I’m fine’ when he asked. He sounded really anxious, and Bella tried to attribute that to the fight Harold had told her about.
“ Harold been telling you?”, So that was what this awkwardness was about? Bella wasn’t sure what to say, only that there was too much to say and not miss the first ten minutes of the movie, so she said the short answer and tried to smile towards Casey even though her heart felt so heavy just looking at him.
“ He told me enough.”, Vague as always, Bella clutched the popcorn bucket and drink together in her hands to not drop them and took one step towards the turn in the hallway.
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 6:08 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
It seemed to be awkwardness all over again. As if he had left her hanging for a whole month again. He had been an idiot eyes, but he was learning rather quickly that it was better to face problems then to leave them hanging. He didn't have a drop in last time though. He hadn't spend hours to form his thoughts, but he knew what he wanted to hear. He wanted to know just what had happened then night of the party and how Bella could ever have let Harold near her in any way intimately.
“ He told me enough.”
That really didn't tell Casey anything, but she didn't sound exceptionally mad. It was enough to give Casey some sort of hope that his image hadn't been distorted to beyond recognition. That or Bella hadn't forgotten who Casey had been and still was. That he wasn't really the careless a*****e Harold made him out to be in that fight. Right now Casey thought Harold was capable of anything. What the goal would be it didn't matter.
Casey reached out taking hold of Bella's shoulders and stop her from going without giving a real answer. He hesitated before talking though, looking for words to express his worry and his need to know the brunette's side.
"Billy, exactly what is enough?" Casey asked his voice a little weak with the stress he was feeling, he didn't dare to let go of her shoulders. he wasn't squeezing down on her, but it was at least firm enough to indicate he really wanted to talk.
"That I don't care about anybody perhaps?" His tone was a little hurt, because imagining being stabbed in the back like that was more than Casey wanted to think about.
"What has he told you Bella? I want to know because I don't know if I can still believe a single word he has been feeding me." Casey fell silent. He really wanted to ask about the night of the party, but something in his gut told him he had to take the long way to knowing that.
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 6:35 am
“ Billy, exactly what is enough?”, The ‘please don’t’ vibe blared about that quiet , dimly lit, hallway, and Bella relaxed the muscles in her shoulders as if that could better say that she wasn’t going anywhere more than just standing there could convey. How could she just spill everything and not waste so much time to make Harold worried?
“ That I don’t care about anybody perhaps?”, Casey sounded hurt, and her heartstrings were tugged at the texture in his voice.
“ What has he told you Bella? I want to know because I don’t know if I can believe a singleword he has been feeding me.” There was a great deal Harold had lied to both of them about, especially concerning that night where she had been tricked; but, since then him and Bella had talked about the matter. While she was unsure if she could believe everything Harold had told her before, and believed he hadn’t been honest in many occasions, there was a sort of…taste…she felt when Harold lied that she was beginning to recognize. When Harold had come over to her house after the fight, he confessed to everything. Lying to Casey, telling her bullshit just to hurt her. Things he wouldn’t have wanted to do if he wasn’t screwing up his medication. Somehow, that confession felt private, and sharing the summary of it to Casey when Harold wasn’t around didn’t feel right. At least, not when it wasn’t needed. Had Bella been talking about any of that confession when she said the word: ‘enough’? No…so she would simply explain that small portion of it.
“ He…he told me that you hadn’t broken up with him.”, that was all Bella could handle saying without further revealing the hurt burning beneath her skin. Of course she couldn’t hide the pain in her eyes when she spoke to him; but, she could continue to be ‘vague’ and keep her walls up for as long as possible.
“ Was that true?...”
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:06 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
“ He…he told me that you hadn’t broken up with him.”
Of course, that thing. It wasn't quite what Casey had expected to hear from Bella's mouth and with an almost desperate sigh he let go of her shoulders. How could he explain? That he had intended to end and finish it first chance he got was one way, but Casey's feelings towards Harold had already become so bad at that point. There was another way to put it though.
“ Was that true?...”
"In a way." Casey admitted bitterly his expression less than happy. It sounded like Harold had made it sound like a bigger deal than in was.
"Though as far as I'm concerned, Harold as I once knew him was already long dead at that time." His eyes hardened a little and then he tried something of a smile. "I don't see how I can cheat on somebody I never started anything with." Would Bella understand? Could she in any way grasp what Casey really meant. Casey was sorely tempted to draw Bella into a hug and have another go at confessing love to her, but he didn't. He only saw it as the way to make things worse.
"There is something you're not telling me Billy." Said Casey turning his eyes down. She wasn't lying that much was clear and Casey knew he had pretty much said something she could take the wrong way. Yet, he had tried to be honest, because he knew that the jealousy of the other man had driven Casey to some realer action.
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:30 am
“ Though as far as I’m concerned, Harold as I once knew him was already long dead at that time.” Bella could feel her heart scoff as what felt like nonsense. Like that gives you ANY RIGHT to try and fool around with me! ‘Already dead to me’ pffft! That’s no excuse! Bella had to cut in and chide her heart for thinking something so mean. ‘ Come on…Case isn’t the best at breakups…’ Which resulted in another vehement hiss. ‘ Pffft! Well that’s no excuse! Don’t baby a grown man! What he did was stupid. The whole kiss was stupid.’ Bella hinted a frown within the grumble, but she still didn’t say anything. Her head, heart, whoever wanted to irk negative replies would just continue to sputter, and Bella wasn’t going to completely believe whatever it wanted to say until Casey was done explaining.
“ I don’t see how I can cheat on somebody I never started anything with.” The growl of vengeance roaring beneath her skin burned a loud ringing noise in her ears at hearing Casey actually say something like that. ‘Now that is a flat out lie!’ For once, Bella believed a ramble. ‘ I saw you. In hallways, after school, during lunch. Sitting with Harold, giving him goodbye kisses and holding his hand. That’s not starting something! You were all over me Harold, if Iorwen hadn’t walked in I…’ Bella felt so angered that she stopped herself before she even thought something cruel or evil. ‘ He wouldn’t have hesitated for a moment! The ‘act’ was interrupted but the intent was there! You going to try and say you wouldn’t have fooled around?’ Bella emotionally withdrew even further behind the wall, even adding a few more bricks to make the wall a little thicker.
“ There is something you’re not telling me Billy.” That was certainly true. There were a lot of things she wasn’t telling him, and right now, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to. ‘ Really…what is Casey trying to do right now? What is the point of asking about Harold? Why ask me all these questions at this point in the game?’, Defeated under the weight of so many different opinions bombarding her heart, Bella slowly shook her head back and forth even though every muscle in her face revealed that she had a lot on her mind that she could very well say and wouldn’t. The ‘no’ motion of her head was not because there was nothing there…but because she did not want to share it. Not right now, when she was so very hurt and upset at remembering those few weeks of watching Harold and Casey together. ‘ What does he even want to know?’ She decided to only share what little she felt able to say.
“ Yes. A lot of things…that don’t really matter now.”, and with that, Bella re-gripped the bucket of popcorn and tried to take a step away before Casey could keep staring at the pain on her face.
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:51 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
“ Yes. A lot of things…that don’t really matter now.”
This was becoming rather frustrating. Casey was tired of banging his head against her wall like this. It only seemed that he only managed to grow the wall thicker. Did it really take him another visit in the middle of the night to get a word out of her.
"But it does matter!" Yelled Casey in an instant, but then he shut his mouth trying to calm himself, trying not to be mad at this impossible wall. He tried looking right hint her eyes, not really caring that they were painted with pain. She wasn't telling him anything and Casey could tell what the hell was going on if she didn't.
"Fine... I'll ask something specific." Said Casey his tone much calmer than his initial reaction. So far his attempts to regain his calm had worked. He didn't need to fight Bella as well.
"What did he tell you the night of that party?" Casey question and he couldn't help but notice how the air seemed to be drained of warmth when he asked that question. He was truly afraid to hear the answer out of her.
"Because I really am dying to know now! Your ring disappears and my cologne and next thing I know Harold is claiming you didn't want to be friends any more and that he gave you the ring back so you can change your mind." Casey was rattling. Naming everything that had made his mind so confused, naming all that had made him distrust Harold's words more than ever.
"He tried his damn best to convince me what I had with you was 'just sex' and now just a week ago he comes around claiming he shared the sheets with you that same night!" Casey took a deep breath his temper had been rising again, but he couldn't let it take over his petty little rant.
"Bella, what the ******** happened there, because I know you wouldn't've just let him. Not knowingly!"
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:33 am
“ Fine…I’ll ask something specific.” Just waiting for Casey to continue speaking was like lying in a guillotine without knowing when the blade was going to drop. She only knew that something quick and terrible was going to come at some predetermined time that could be now, or later.
“ What did he tell you the night of that party?”, Bella’s face turned starch white. ‘ No…no no no…why did you have to bring this up!?’ Bella tightly clamped her eyes shut just as a thousand images bombarded her brain. Everything she had felt, the hope, the bludgeoning, came back in a hurricane whirl of emotions she couldn’t process more than trying to hide her face behind a popcorn bucket. Butter might have gotten in her hair, but at this point she would do just about anything to hide the water going down her face.
“ Because I really am dying to know now! Your ring disappears and my cologne and next thing I know Harold is claiming you didn’t want to be friends anymore and that he gave you the ring back so you can change your mind.” Harold had told he that he had done this already, a few days before, but being reminded of it again was like having a piece of skin ripped off of the body. No, that could never, in any way, be excused or cast aside.
“ He tried his damn best to convince me what I had with you was ‘just sex’ and now just a week ago he comes around claiming he shared the sheets with you that same night!” Bella’s entire body was trembling, and she tried everything to hide the water on her face even though the popcorn bucket hid her expression from view. Expecting the bucket to be torn away at any moment and leave her emotionally naked, her heart was too busy writhing in agony to even cry out a legible response besides painful wails.
“ Bella, what the ******** happened there, because I know you wouldn’t’’ve just let him. Not knowingly!”, Bella’s broke, ever so slightly, from being unable to withstand keeping in her emotions anymore. Sobbing once and almost gagging on the fluid within her throat, Bella tried to wipe her tears on the soda cup, but she only managed to rub condensation on her cheek and make the matter worse by spoiling her make-up. Please! Can’t you just go?! Don’t you notice that I’m dying over here?!
Breaking forth another sob, sucking the air inward in a shuddering gasp for strength, Bella’s eyes began to burn as her sinus’ swelled up from the now, well-known-pain of crying she was very much sick of. ‘ God, how do I answer this?’ She wanted Casey to leave so badly, just to keep him from witnessing this pathetic little scene she was making, but she knew he wouldn’t leave without hearing an explanation that would shatter her heart to tell. ‘ Why does he want to know so badly?’ and why would he even ‘need’ convincing that what happened between them was just sex? In the end, there were only two real choices. Fib, or tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Or distract him.
“ MY GOD why do you want to know?!”, If he was going to make a scene, than she was going to as well! The emotion changing the sound of her voice, Bella desperately breathed in through her nose to contain whatever fluid might debate seeping down her face.
“ How does this even matter?!”, Bella vented as another sob broke through her voice, followed by another shuddering gasp for air. As much as her heart wanted to know, just thinking of hearing the answer hurt worse than not knowing when the guillotine was going to drop. It was knowing exactly when death was coming, and the despair was inescapable. Pain riddling her face, Bella turned away with another sob around the corner into a smaller hallway that led to the closed theatre doors.
“ Please…don’t…just don’t…answer that…”, She really couldn’t handle experiencing that night all over again. Not without bawling and crying out wails like some little child being yelled at by her parent; or a woman experiencing child birth. The subtle ‘leave me alone! was expelled in almost every way. That wall trying to speak for her, it wanted Casey far away. Bella’s heart couldn’t handle being open, and it cried and wailed in pain from that door even wanting to open back up to him. Deep down Bella’s hopes and wishes were unchanged, but it was so much easier to shove them into a drawer than to share them with someone else.
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:03 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
Casey hadn't noticed that Bella was bursting out in tears during his confused ranting that was as much a cry for help as an urge for Bella to just finally give away what the hell had been going on. When Casey did notice he felt bad for hurting Bella, but it only increased the need to know what it was that broke Bella from hearing the question.
What the hell has he done to her thought Casey still very much afraid of the answer, but he had no intention to wait any more. Now it had to happen, not tomorrow, not next week, not in another month. Casey had wasted enough time in self hate and confusion and it was time it was over.
“ MY GOD why do you want to know?!”
Right now? Because the question had gotten her to bawl her eyes out, something that was usually very rare with Bella. The mere existence of this moment was enough to rip another shred out of Casey's heart.
“ How does this even matter?!”
Bella tried to get away, but Casey wasn't going to let her escape into the movie that Casey really didn't care about any more. He jogged after her, caught up and made sure she wouldn't be able to get into the theatre by holding both handles of the door with hit arms. Hearing Bella say she didn't want an answer to a question hurt Casey, but he was going to stand his ground.
Have you completely forgotten that I truly care? He asked with his mind, but he knew she wouldn't hear that, but instead of asking that he decided that he wanted to push on.
"Bella..." Casey managed to get his composure to sound really calm for what he was going to say. He wanted Bella to calm down he wanted the brunette to stop crying.
"Please, tell me." Casey's voice was really full with the care he felt for Bella; Last thing he really wanted was another fight with Bella, but he really wanted some answers as well.
"Tell me what happened."
He kept holding on the the door handles with his arm, not wanting to see Bella run from this. Not wanting to give up. With his free hand he reached into his pocket, taking out a fresh handkerchief. He reached out to Bella's face to wipe the tears away with the small piece of fabric. That was the least he could do for pushing on so relentlessly.
please don't make it harder by lying
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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FILLER
FILLER
FILLER
