Welcome to Gaia! ::

Why would you want to be a ruthless b*****d? There are enough of those already. Namely everyone.

And this is totally Incubus related. I mean, if Incubus doesn't serve as a mirror to better understand ourselves and our relationship in the world, then what good are they? Entertainment? You have to be joking.

I mean, I've seen it there before, but finding any specific bootlegs on eBay is nearly impossible. Perhaps I can send the files to you somehow. Like emai or something?

The truth. Becuase you don't do anyone any favors by lieing to them, however beautiful. Becuase if all you have to say is beautiful lies, then all you do is cheapen the beauty of what is actually beautiful. My philosophy is that it is better to tell the brutal truth, because when you say something beautiful and good about someone, then it is moving for them. It's not just bland appeasment. One of the reasons I hate people is their beautiful lieing. It's doesn't do anything for anyone, except maybe make them feel like they aren't bad people.

What is your take on spirituality?

That was sort of the kind of answer I was looking for. The question was as much about your interpretatoin of the question as the responce itself, but pretty much yeah.

Funny thing about that is that, it seems to me that sometimes I just make up a belief system and run with it. Which is to say that I'm not sure I really "hate humanity" or infact have very many solid beliefs at all. I tend to just "go with the flow" on the ideological level and just sort of make stuff up as I go along. A stable belief system is too much trouble really, and I don't feel the need to tie myself down idoeologically. So I've come to realize that sometimes philosophical debates are nothing more than verbal "free writings" for me, and even in other situations, I'm pretty sure that a lot of the time I just say whatever comes to mind. But I guess I do have some sort of fairly stable core beliefs, mostly revolving around how I don't like prejudice and overgeneralization very much.

But as to why I hate humanity. In large collective groups, peole have almost never done anything good. And then their is the whole question of "good and evil" and when you have coflicting views, people can just be real asses about it. Plus, humanity created society and it pretty much sucks, but they defend themselves by saying "human nature is evil, this and that" and that's just a bunch of bull, so they don't have to blame themselves for how shitty they personally have made their little corner of the world. Our society has become a game of us vs everyone else to have more than everyone, to be more than everyone, to be "special" and that's just ******** up. I mean, that is capitalism right their. That is being indoctrinated into a capitalist society, not ******** "human nature" and our social thinkers are so quick to point out that "well possibly it's always been like this, or our system has been set up to incorporate the vices of human nature" blah blah blah, when it is just because they can only see the world through the lens of their capitalist endoctrinations. People think they are right. All the ******** time. And they aren't. For all we know, we are wrong about everyting. I mean, looking back through history, there has been basically no point where people were right about anything at all. What makes us today any better. So looking at the big picture, socioty at large, and of course I'm only speaking for American society and from the perspective of someone on the inside, but this seems really ******** up. Basically. And that's why people suck. Even if individuals can be okay sometimes. But we really don't need to be reproducing. Even though me saying that isn't going to make a lick of difference.

Once again, it's one of those open ended questions that I could write a book on. And if I ever get to it (I won't. Ever. I never ever do. With anything) then me and my friend were going to write a book on how fake everything is, which would obviously include humanity's sucktatude, but alass, never going to happen.

College Essay Time: If you could ask yourself one question to show somethign important about you, what would it be and why? (It doesn't have to be perfect, just come up with something in the normal gaia time)

1. The idea of selling out my belief system and just becoming another zombie moving down the all powerful road of life that society has constructed for us with the school, job, marriage, kids, retirement, death. I mean once you get on that road, that's spiritual death, which is the only kind I'm afriad of. In addition, I'm afraid of authority figures. Terrified of authority figures. Yes suh, massa suh, whatevayousay mass suh when it comes to anyone who is willing to inflict authority on me. But when it is an authority figure who doesn't use their power, I really walk all over them. Like teachers for the most part. But I am terrified of the Law. And too some extent dissapointing my mom, but not so much these days, I've found a happy balance there. And mutilation. Not pain, but mutiliation. I don't know how to live if I can't be beautiful.

2. Funny you should mention people, especailly after this disscussion of hating humanity. I don't love people passionately and purely... I'm not sure if I could really say I love anything passionately and purely. I mean, art comes to mind, but there is part of me that loves art for impure reasons, namely the "counterculture" status that comes with being an artist as well as the whole "being better than others at something" and the whole jelousy issue of those I deam "better than me", though sometimes I guess it comes close to being pure. I might say selfless action, but that is tricky on its very nature. Freedom maybe, and by that I mean a lack of restraint based on social exprectations. People that can talk to strangers are beautiful. I'm not really very passionate and purity is always a tricky one. And don't even get me started on love. That word hardly has any meaning at all anymore.

I had a couple for you, but I really want to see how you respond to these yourself, so same questions.

Yes. I believe that the only form of truth is that which we make for ourselves, and becuase I make my own personal truth of any situation, I am the only one who can be right for the world as I see it. So while I can be wrong looking back, I'm never wrong at the time, because the circumstances of the time mean that it was the right thing to do, even if it seems like a huge mistake later. That's why I regret nothing. Except for maybe wasting my whole life doing nothing, and even with that, I mean, it's something to accept. I sit around all the ******** time. It's enough to make me sick.

Ironically, I'm not really afraid of fear itself. Just specific things. And I mean, in my head I would never become a "normal" person, but at the same time, I see so many people say the same thing, and I know they totally ******** will, and why should I think myself so different? I may be a different person when it happens, but I'm not going to pretend that it's impossible. Just scary.

What is a friend to you?

it looks like you strayed JUST a little bit so ill go
new skin or stellar?¿?

Im liking your new avi

1) A friend is a person who sees you for what you are and still wants to be around you, talk to you, and know what youre thinking. A friend is a person emotionaly attached to you- that cares about what happens to you.
2) Hmmm what do I not like about myself...I dont like my rage, my insanity that sets me apart too much, my tendency to see through people (and reject them), my empathy, and my laziness.

Ill ask the same question- What do you not like about yourself?

3 wishes....I really don't know. Thats hard. Half of me says why wish for anything...and the other is materialistic. 1) A way out of Iraq 2) No persecution of people because of race or religion 3) to be a musician with a following ...and friends with Frusciante


If you could be anyone else in the world who would it be? And dont say no one- you have to pick someone.