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 Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:07 pm
"You could be.... the author."
Not Alice. She was lead about, never knowing what was happening or what lay in store for her. Her life was controlled by what went on around her. That's probably what Cheshire wants him to be. But if he could learn, that he could take the reigns...
"Im sorry," She said suddenly. "I shouldn't be prying in like this. I mean, we've only hardly met... but-"
Emerwyn leaned forward, and clasped Julian's hands tightly. "I feel something about you, Julian. You are a strong person." She stared straight into his eyes, never wavering, barely blinking. It was as though she was willing those eyes to stay. Holding them in place with her intense stare. "You just need to learn it... for yourself. And no one can help you do that." He no doubt knew who she was insinuating.
She kept her eyes steady, and her hands clasped around his.
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:50 pm
A bit startled by the sudden touch, Julian's face reddened.
"...I...." His voice shook. "...Miss Emerwyn, I...."
He had no idea what to say to this. He was terrified, nervous, confused...and yet...he couldn't tear his gaze away from hers.
On the other hand, Cheshire didn't like what he was hearing. Julian jumped as he felt one clawed finger run faintly down his back.
The mind can create sensations quite remarkably when it needs to. Even if there's really no one there.
Julian's pupils contracted, his hands twitching in Emerwyn's grasp.
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 1:23 pm
Emerwyn's eyes grew startled and concerned. Her heart beat faster, but she kept her hands clasped around Julian's, holding on for him.
She knew what was happening. She must have angered him.
Her breath started to shake, but she fought it. She coudn't show that she was afraid.
"...Julian?"
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 3:21 pm
Swallowing very hard, he spoke up, tone shaking.
"...Emerwyn. He...he's...he's trying to protect me." But wasn't that FEAR in his voice?
"...Cheshire...Cheshire is good. You see? He wants to help me."
His tail whipped a bit, his expression still very strained. He DID NOT want to go under right now....
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 3:52 pm
Julian was still there. He was holding on.
"Julian... Do you mean that? Or are you scared to admit otherwise?" She knew the answer. Julian had to say it for himself.
But then again, she said to herself. If he admits it, Cheshire won't be pleased. He's got him on a short leash...
"Don't be afraid, Julian. Hold on to me. You need something to hold on to. Then you can find a reason to fight him."
Emerwyn was feeling stronger. Maybe her energies could help empower Julian.
"If there's something worth living for out here, you won't need to hide inside."
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 4:07 pm
He whimpered, looking as if he might cry.
"...I'm not hiding...I don't want to hide...." He gave another twitch, this one more violent. "...And...I...."
He...he wanted to say it. Maybe...he...could....
"...I...I'm...scared...."
'Wrong thing to say, Julian.'
His eyes flew open wide, a look of pain coming into his eyes. His hands clenched tight.
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 4:17 pm
He had done it. He said what she didn't think he'd be able to say. A wave of panic spread over Emerwyn. He had done it.
She felt guilty. She'd made him say it. And now he was going to pay the price.
Emerwyn almost let go of Julian's hands, but managed to come back to herself. She had to help him. He didn't have to let Cheshire take him.
"Julian! Julian, stay with me. Please. You don't have to listen to him. Julian, you are strong! It's alright to be frightened. Admitting it makes you stronger! Julian-"
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:37 pm
He had already admitted one thing. He was on a roll.
Julian spoke through clenched teeth, his lips curling up into a nervous smile.
"...It...it hurts...very badly...." Tears were streaming down his cheeks, his body shaking.
"...I...I can't...."
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:45 pm
Emerwyn raised one hand and placed it gently on his cheek.
As she softly brushed the tears away, she cooed, "It's alright. Cry. It will help." It was as though she were speaking to a little boy.
In fact, a vision flashed before her, as she sat here, consoling the young man. It was of Garen. He was with her in the reading room, sobbing. He had just found out that Noah was not truly his father, and that he had been abandoned by his mother... She remembered holding him in her arms, speaking softly to him. She loved Garen as a little brother...
Her senses returned to her within a moment, and she turned her thoughts back to the present, where it belongs, she told herself. She kept speaking soft words of comfort, caressing his hands, and clearing his tears in a motherly way.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:55 pm
Julian shut his eyes, his nervous grin broadening as an image crossed into the space behind his eyelids.
The cat was leaning close to him, eyes narrowed behind the grin. Angry.
'Julian, my dear boy. What are you doing? Why are you fighting me?'
Julian responded aloud, his tone quiet and shaking.
"...I...I don't know...."
'Don't you trust me? I've been nothing but good to you. Protecting you. Holding your hand and guiding you past all those voices. They've been quiet, haven't they?'
He purred and arched his back against Julian's legs.
...Who gave an awkward sort of twitch. Cheshire was winning him over again.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 1:06 pm
Emerwyn's face grew tense and concerned. Is He back?
He spoke, but not to her. He must be speaking to Cheshire...
Emerwyn didn't know what to do. She didn't say anything, and hoped that again it would pass, that Julian could win again.
One hand still remained on Julian's cheek, the other still clasped around his.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 1:10 pm
Very slowly, his eyes reopened - but they were strangely glazed over, and he was awfully serene all of a sudden....
"...Miss Emerwyn...Cheshire is only trying to help me." His tone was meek, and...something in it was...off. "...He only wants what is best...."
Something about his whole demeanor suddenly seemed...forced.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 1:16 pm
Emerwyn was disturbed not only by Julian's words... but by his entire presence. Something wasn't right...
Her hands retracted very, very slowly. She didn't trust this.
It seemed like she wasn't even looking at Julian anymore... ... ... What if she wasn't?
"...Julian?" Her face stared deep into his, trying to see past the facade that may or may not even be there. "Are you... alright?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 1:21 pm
He scarcely even moved.
"...Of course I am. Cheshire wouldn't hurt me...he...he only wants to protect me."
One hand clenched tightly enough for his claws to cut into his palm...then relaxed again.
He gave a soft, serene little shell of a laugh, blinking and immobile as some of his black bangs fell into his eyes.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 1:29 pm
Emerwyn hardened. Cheshire was torturing him; he had to be. Julian knew theese things weren't true.
"Julian..." She repeated his name, trying to tell herself that that was who she was talking to. "Julian, you know that's not true. You told me yourself. Don't let him do this to you! He can't do anything to you! Not if you don't let him!"
She kept searching his eyes, for some trace of the old Julian. What was wrong with him? He wasn't Cheshire... He couldn't be... She remembered Cheshire...
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