Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm interested enough to donate. I actually would suggest, though, not making EVERY donating person a guild moderator. There's a lot of potential for abuse with something like that. You'll want to keep the number of mods small, and increase them only when the current number isn't able to keep up with the job of running the guild.

Okay, well, I've got my first question for the head covering guild, when it comes to fruition.

I'm getting my divorce finalized (at last!). In my religion, women only cover their hair if they're married, so I could theoretically uncover if I wanted. However, because my hair has been covered for marriage, there's considerable debate, even within our canonized text, about whether I should uncover in the hope of finding a new match because my hair is now unmarried hair and therefore not nakedness, or leave it covered because it's been married and covered and is now considered nakedness.

Given that I see both opinions as holding equal weight, and my clergymember (and the community he supports) also feels that it's up to the individual woman to decide, this will largely come down to a matter of my personal taste and comfort.

Given that my religion's laws support both covering and uncovering in equal measure, what would you do:

1. Uncover, because uncovered hair in my religious community is a sign of availability for a new marriage. This would make it easier to start courting again.

2. Keep covered -- my hair is now considered equivalent to my midsection or upper thigh, that is, something I should not uncover unless only women are present.

3. Cover partially -- wear a cap or scarf, but let the hair hang down naturally out of it; wear just a wide headband; just a barrette, clip, ribbon, or even just a braid or bun will do.

I'm trying to decide what's most comfortable for me, see. On the one hand, I love the way I look in scarves, hats, and caps; plus, loose hair really tickles and itches. On the other hand, I'm often challenged by people who are somehow offended that I'm covered, and want me to justify my choice to them.

Not hard at all, for me. The laws are discussed here:

http://modestworld.com/laws.html

As you can see, while they sound extensive to talk about, they're actually not all that restrictive. I used to have a hard time finding longer skirts that didn't have a slit in them, but now I have one online place that I go for skirts, two that I visit for shirts, and two that I visit for scarves, hats, caps, and snoods. One of my shirt places is also where I go for undergarments, so it's really very efficient. Or, it was efficient. Now that I've lost 60 pounds, I've had to go to the actual stores and get measured and fitted for my new size, and it's opened up the possibility of shopping in new places that don't cater to the large-figured woman. But still, I feel it's quite easy.

I've been modest from childhood. I would cry if my diaper were changed in front of people, especially men, and I always wanted the longest dresses possible, even when the style was to wear them short. I've always loved to wear scarves, caps, and hats. I guess it's natural for me to want to be covered. Later on, I learned about the religious reasons for being modest. Oddly enough, Mohammed Ali, the boxer, summed it up very nicely for me. The following incident took place when Muhammed Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that are not modest. Here is the story as told in detail by one of his daughters:

When we finally arrived, the chauffer escorted my youngest sister, Laila, and me to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sent me down in his lap and said something I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world, he made covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down and in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

i'd cover partially so your not giving up covering but you are saying that your no longer married.it would also be good to seek advice from your rabbi too.

Right, I'm no longer married. My religion doesn't require unmarried women to cover, since the covering is what tells people "Back off, I'm taken." It's more visible than a wedding ring, from further away, so it works better for that. I did speak to my rabbi, and he said (as I mentioned above) that because there's so much evidence for all sides of the question, I should go with what's comfortable for me. I'm just trying to decide what actually is comfortable for me.

I'll donate gold for the construction of this guild. I'm not online much anymore, but message me and let me know what you need and I'll set up a trade. As long as you're patient I'll help you guys out.