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That Day

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cool_cait

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 5:36 pm


This poem just kinda came to me one night. I personally thought it would turn out better. But this is what I came up with:

That Day

I had a gun
To my head
Ready to fire
But stopped instead

I was ready
To forever leave
But you wanted
Me to believe

That I can
That I will
Get through without
Having to kill

I put it to my head
And didn’t care
You said I couldn’t
But I took that dare

I shot that gun
Felt the rush it made
And all my pain
Started to fade

My life is
Slipping away
But I will always
Remember that day.

Tell me what you thought about it! mrgreen
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 2:52 pm


christ x__X Thats really really good. I liked how it flowed, and told a story. :3 Great job ^_^

Medo-Flame Ender


cool_cait

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:30 pm


Thanks alot!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:13 pm


i thought it broke at odd places. poetry should flow like water down a waterfall.

luna_luv_manga

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For Your Poetic and Lyrical Entertainment

 
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