Welcome to Gaia! ::

If you do not want me to post future chapters because they are R rated please tell me. Comment for more story! R rating on this one for Language and Drug Use. Tobacco but still... Enjoy. wink

Don't Know. Don't Own. Don't Sue.


Grocery Day.

The best day I can have, except one spent out of my house.

A good day to steal.

Not from stores or anything illegal like that.
No, just a nice, new, cellophane-wrapped pack of glorious cigarettes. I could get them from some of my older friends but that doesn't give me the same satisfaction as taking some from the many cartons my chain-smoking father goes through.

Why do I smoke?

I don't feel addicted. I only smoke a few times a month... but I probably am. It helps me deal with my shitty house. My shitty parents. My shitty life.

One of the few friends I have takes care of me more than any parent, especially mine, could. He is always there when I call him for help. Any hour of the night or day. I feel horrible about being so dependent upon another person. He has his own problems and I don't want to burden him with mine.

So when I can't get out to my car and get away to his house or anywhere else, I try to distract myself from my 'life' and mostly stay in my room watching music videos. If I have already smoked my stolen cigs. sometimes I... hurt myself... sometimes I drink... I know it's not healthy but don't judge me. You don't know until you live like I do for as long as I have.
Gerard knows it isn't my fault but he still doesn't like it when I do any of these things to myself. Except smoking. He loves that because I started him doing it, not intentionally of course, I would never purposefully start him on such a bad habit. But smoking around him at my house one day he just asked if he could try a few puffs and ever since... well maybe we'll revisit that later.

So as I sit here, on my bed near my open window, I think about the stress I need to rid myself of... I walk over to my hiding spot, grabbing the crumpled pack of Marlboro Reds and my few matches. I reclaim my spot on the bed from the cat and light a match. Staring at the newly created flame for a moment, I lean toward the window, trying to keep the smell out of my room as I light my tasty chemically-enhanced friend. Taking a deep drag, I blow smoke rings into the darkness of my room. After I finish and stub out the last of my cig. in the makeshift wooden ashtray and throw it out the window, I get up to go get a drink. I walk downstairs to see my sister doing dishes and my parents lounging around watching T.V.---the usual. My dad immediatly gets up off the couch looking at me, his face eminant with the same emotion that has been there since I can remember--fury.

"Why didn't you clean the house today!?!"

I looked around at the newly vacuumed floors, dusted cabinets and tables, baskets full of clean laundry, and hear the hum of the running washer and dryer.

"I did clean, I vacuumed ... and dusted..."

"THE ******** YOU DID!"

"Ok well how can I do it better?" I was slowly backing away, so afraid of my dad when he gets like this. . .

"You are supposed to do what we asked you to when we are gone," he said trying to control anger in his voice, "and you screw it up! You're worthless! You will NEVER amount to anything!"

The hand started to rise and I knew what was coming next. I stood up to take it and prepared myself for the familiar pain. A fist hit my shoulder and my jaw. I felt against the table cutting my arm against a letter opener and fell to the floor. I crawled toward the kitchen but was pulled up, pushed against the counter, and hit again; this time painfully in the ribs. I knew the bruises would be big this time because he was particularly vengeful tonight.

"Dad. . . please. . . " I begged.

He calmly went to sit on the couch and continued watching T.V. like nothing had ever happened. I barely made it to the bathroom before I leaned over the toilet and threw up from the severe pain I was in. After I finally stopped, I saw blood drenching the sleeve of my sweatshirt where letter opener cut me. I grabbed some gauze and band-aids truing, as best as I could, to cover it up and stop the bleeding.
---Ok, now for the other pain---
I grab a bottle of vodka, a carton of orange juice, and a glass and head upstairs. Once behind the 'safety' of my door, I pour half and half of the liquids into the glass and start to drink. I know when I get drunk and call Gerard later, I'll be sick with myself for getting so wasted; but, it is the only way I have to escape the pain. I light a cigarette as angry tears silently roll down my cheeks. I shake the match to put it out and stare at the glowing red tip before I slowly lower it toward my wrist. As it touches the flesh, I take a deep drag off of my cig. so I don't make noise as it sears my flesh. I couldn't feel the pain by the third or fourth time I repeated this process because I had about three more screwdrivers by then. The wounds were bleeding freely but I was detatched and didn't notice. I reached for the phone and the tears began to flow strongly.

*Gerard's POV*
I got to the phone just in time.
"Hello?" I said in a sleepy, raspy, whisper.

"G--Gee." She said, through sobs.

"Alyson?"

"Y-Yeah."

"What's wrong?"
//Even though I already know damn well what is wrong, it has happened enough times before for me to know.//

"I'm... sorry..." //She is crying so hard. It must have been especially rough tonight.//

"It's ok, you don't have to be sorry..."

"You know what?" //So slurred.//

"What?"

"It h-happened again."

"I know."

"I'm such a ********."

"No, you are not!"

"Why do you hang out with me? Am I your charity case? Is that why you help me?"

"You are not my charity case! I just want to help you so I can keep you with me."

"I know, but still..."

"But still nothing."
//Maybe I should get her mind off this topic//
"So I heard there is going to be a new student at school tomorrow..."

"There is?"

"Yup! His name is ... uhm ... I don't remember but my girlfriend's friends know him and they say he's not bad."

"Ah... ok..."

//She sounds really sleepy. . . and by all means she should be, its 12:23AM//
"You sound tired. Get a good night sleep and I'll see you at school tomorrow. Be good ok?"

"I'll. .. I'll try . . . goodnight... love ya. . ."

Click.

My stomach churned with worry all night wondering how bad her pain would be tomorrow.

*Alyson's POV*

I got up this morning with the best headache ever. Obviously I like pain to say that.... Jesus I am ******** up . . . anyway . . . I get ready for school grudgingly, trying to stay home but not wanting to confront my father again. The long, purplish bruises are sore and swollen this morning as I covered the visible ones with make-up, lifting up my shirt to look at the giant one on my ribs.
//It even hurts when I ******** breathe.//
It doesn't matter, no one ever notices. I am always in a mask in public: "Happy Emo Alyson" does the trick and doesn't make people worry. Gerard is the only one who knows the whole truth about my dad and the bad habits I have. Another thing I ******** on. I love Gerard. Love. And I have for a long time. Ever since, that time in second grade when I sat at his table for fingerpainting every day. I got to talk to him a lot. Yeah, pathetic I know. I can never tell him though. His beautiful, smart, skinny Regina is all he ever needs. She is everything he wants and I'm not.

I get in my beaten up old Cadillac with my sister and brother and drive to school.
//Damn, I shouldn't have smoked the rest of my pack last night. I need one now...//
I remembered getting up this morning and seeing my bloody arms, one from burning, one from the letter opener cut ripping open in my sleep. My sister standing over me, looking horrified.

"Go away, Michelle."
She just brought me a wet washcloth and some bandages without saying a word. I'm such a d**k sometimes.

We arrived at school late as usual which was good because I didn't have to see Gee practically making out with Regina in homeroom or hear the bells ringing; both would aggravate my hangover headache.

The morning went without incident until lunch. I sat down with the usual crew: Gerard//<3//, Regina, Katelyn, Agatha, and Dmitri. But there was a new addition to out table today. Palish, quite short but taller than me, he sat down. His greenish brown eyes flicked from face to face. //Nerves... he probably should be nervous hanging around me..// Yes, I like to wallow in self-pity. All through lunch, he didn't talk but there was just something about the way he ran his fingers through his black semi-short hair and anxiously tugged at his too-tight black T-shirt that kept me focused on him. The bell rang; my head, and everywhere else, aching as I stood up to follow him to our next class.

At the end of the day I suggested my new classmate to come to the movies with some friends the coming weekend. When he grudgingly agreed after much convincing that he was welcome, I was ecstatic... well on the inside. My throat was sore from all the cigarettes and throwing up so I tried not to speak too much; I couldn't move because of the extreme bruising either. So I just smiled crookedly, because of my jaw, and told him where to meet us.

The rest of the week passed in a blur. Gerard asked me if I was ok. I showed him the burns and bruises and cried for a bit while he comforted me cautiously. It felt nice to be safe curled up in his arms, my head resting on his warm chest. But before long, our time together came to a premature halt. He would get uncomfortable and have to leave because Regina was expecting him soon for their date.

Friday night finally rolled around. I threw on some red eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and some clean-and-decent-enough clothes and headed out to The Edge. There coffee is divine. They make a mean cheesecake, too. Well, anyway.. I guess when I left the house I hadn't realized what time it was. Apparently, it was only 6:17PM. The movie starts at 8:25.
//Great, I have two hours to bask in my annoyance of myself. Cool.//
But when I walked in, I saw something highly unexpected. The new kid was sitting by the window looking pretty cute in his tight jeans and Misfits T-shirt. His hair was messy and he had some eyeliner on.
//Wow... he's even more attractive than I thought!//
He absentmindedly stirred his cup of coffee and stared out the window.

"Hey, what's up?"

He jumped at the sound of my voice but when he saw it was only me, he relaxed a little and I slid into the seat across from him.
"Oh, hi."

"So why are you here so early?"

"I wanted to make sure I could find the place, you know because I just moved here,"his voice broke at the end but he continued,"But it took me less time than I thought it would."
He played with his silver lip ring, probably out of habit.

"So what is your name anyway?"

He rested his head on his hand and resumed staring out the window. It had started to rain.
"Frank."

"I'm Alyson."

"So why did you invite me here?"

A beeping eminating from my pocket signified a new text message.
"Oh, sorry, hold on a sec. It's from Gerard."
I took out my cell phone and read the message.
"Oh great, Gerard's parents grounded him and our driver has the Asian flu."

"I'm sorry... well I guess I'll be going then." He stood up and sidled toward the door.

"Going?"

"Well, no one is coming so..."

"But I'm already here." I said making an innocent face.

"You still want to go?" His expression was puzzled.

"Only if you'll go with me." I grabbed him casually by the hand and lead him down half a block to the Sundance Movie Theatre. As we walked in the smell of popcorn and soda, among other various snacks, wafted toward us. I bought a small popcorn, some nachos, and an icee and we sat down to our movie entitled 83 Seconds till Liftoff, why I do not know because the title had no relevance to the movie at all. After the exciting thriller was over, we walked back to the coffee shop and ordered two more cappucinos. I think at some point during the movie Frank decided that he could trust me and this invite wasn't just a big practical joke. We talked for hours! We like all the same music and practically everything! He is even in a band! Pencey Prep was the name I think. He said he was signed under a minor record label here in Jersey. When the coffee shop was close to closing time, we said our goodbyes and parted ways. Just as I was at my car door, Frank yelled to me from across the parking lot.

"Are you free tomorrow?!"

"Yeah!" //Why is he asking me this?!//

"Do you want to go out for dinner?!"

"Uhm.... sure !"

"Pick you up at eight!"

TBC
---Please comment if you want me to continue .... I have about 4 chapters done as of now but if you all hate it just don't respond and I won't post anymore chapters. Yes, this is my first fan fic. Be gentle. Some things in this story are based on true events. I am writing this story for a friend.

YEAH! We love new fan fics! more!

I'm going to a friends house tonight... I'll put the next chapter up tomorrow! mrgreen Thanks for all the great comments!

More please! I love this and I must....know....what...happens!!!!

Please update!

You're not the only one Alex...Although you should see my friends profile! Her name's MyChemicalFantasy589 no spaces or anything. It's a Frank shrine!