Welcome to Gaia! ::

I've posted this on Fanfiction, and I was just wondering what you people here thought of it. I'm also looking for a serious beta, please 3nodding ! I can handle crit, as long as it's constructive.


A/N Well, I was on the way back from work, with my dad driving when this story hit me :3 So uhmn, yeah. Enjoy, bishies!

Couples that are likely to appear: Shika/Neji Sasu/Naru Those are the most likely, but don't hold me to it. I don't have this whole thing planned. So I also don't know how many chapter's it'll have :3 It's also kinda AU, 'cos Sasuke's come back.

This will have bad language. I'm going to re-emphasize that. THIS HAS VERY BAD LANGUAGE!!!!! OK!!!!

There. Now, on with the story! Oh, wait. Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, not me. I make no money :3 Songs used in this: Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright, I Want Candy - The Bangles. I got the breathing exercises from http://www.vocalist.org.uk/breathing_exercises.html

I realize that there is some confusion as to if buses and instruments like electric guitars and such exist, but this is primarily an AU story following the manga as close as possible. That means that they live in their world, but with modern day technology like amps and mics and stuff. Sorry for the confusion XD;;






Neji had been standing outside the Hokage's mission room for what felt like an hour now. Glancing at his watch, he realized that only twenty five minutes had passed and that he was still too early. Neji closed his eyes and sighed before sitting down on one of the chairs screwed into the wall, sinking into a meditation so deep, it was as if he was asleep.

Or, as a certain Uzumaki Naruto thought, dead.

A loud scream and a sharp slap to the face brought the unaware Hyuuga quickly back to the present as Naruto jumped onto him at lightning speed and delivered these gifts to him.

"NEJI! ARE YOU ALIVE?! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE!? NEJI? NE-"

Neji clamped his hand over Naruto's gaping and extremely annoying mouth giving him the best Hyuuga glare he could muster while he raised his other hand and tried to shove the blond boy of him.

"You're an idiot. Have you never heard of meditation?"

"Nrfgh! Dommph lukh ah muh li ah!"

Neji quickly removed his hand, wiping the drool from Naruto's mouth across a convenient orange sleeve as the whiskered boy shouted out his disapproval at being shoved off. Neji let out a disgruntled huff of air and tried to ignore Naruto.

"Am I disturbing something?"

The two startled ninja quickly turned to the voice coming from the doorway where a sleepy looking boy with a high pony tail was standing. Neji blinked.

"Disturbing something, Nara-san?"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Well... There seemed to be a lot of shouting going on, and Naruto was sitting on your lap."

Neji's frown deepened as he stood up and crossed his arms, facing the smirking nin.

"I was meditating when this idiot leapt on me screaming. There was nothing... Provocative about that."

Neji could feel his face burning up as he turned around and strode into the Hokage's office, glaring at Shizune and Tsunade before sitting down, daring anyone to mention the disturbance that probably the whole building would've heard a few seconds earlier.

Tsunade had an infuriating smile as she beckoned Shikamaru and Naruto into the room.

"We're waiting for Sasuke, Lee and Shino. When they arrive, I'll brief you on your new mission."

They sat in silence until Sasuke coolly walked in and sat down, dipping his head in respect.

"Shino and Lee are on their way."

"Che. Take your time, b*****d!"

Sasuke glared at Naruto.

"Shut it, dumb a**."

Naruto jumped up, fists clenched. Tsunade slammed her hands down on the table.

"Hey! Sit down, Naruto!"

Naruto froze. He quickly turned to Tsunade.

"But, 'Baa-chan!-"

"No buts! Sit!"

Naruto pouted and sat down, glaring at his smirking rival.

Neji felt decidedly awkward. He knew that Sasuke and Naruto fought constantly, but everyone had called it friendly banter and he had never witnessed it first hand. To him, it sounded like there were going to be broken bones before long. Ever since Sasuke had come back from Sound, there had been this lingering coldness about him that no-one but Naruto could break.

The slowly rising tension disappeared as Lee burst into the room with Shino following more sedately behind.

"GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY! I HOPE YOU ALL SLEPT WELL IN THE THROES OF YOUTH! I AM SORRY THAT I AM LATE! I WILL NEVER ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN, OR I WILL HOP A THOUSAND LAPS AROUND KONOHA, ON ONE HAND!"

"Rare species of Dragonfly."

Tsunade nodded as the two shinobi sat down.

"Right. I'll fill you in now. As you know, Mist has become more and more aggressive and there are several A rank missing nin that are known to be hiding there. Well, they've formed a group that we don't know the name of, but they've been selectively killing."

Neji lent forward, interested.

"They've only been killing young men with a musical talent. Why the hell they're doing this, we don't know. That's what we need you to find out. We need you to collect the information doing whatever it takes to get close to them. Get them drunk, eavesdrop, whatever. Then, once you've got the necessary information kill them there and then or ask to send in reinforcements. Got it?"

Everyone nodded.

"Now, questions?"

Shikamaru raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"How do we get into that circle of people?"

Tsunade smiled.

"Well, the best plan would be for you to form a "Band" and perform your way to Mist, gaining support until you're an irresistible target to the missing nin. It should be relatively easy as you're all young men and in your own rights, geniuses."

Sasuke scoffed and looked pointedly at Naruto.

"Naruto has a huge reserve of chakra and is the key component in the dynamic you need to create, Sasuke. But before I go any further I need you to do something for me."

She turned on her swivel chair and switched on a small CD player.

"Memorize this!"

A soft, lilting tune began to play.

I heard there was a secret chord that David played,
And it pleased the Lord,
But you don't really care for music, do you?

It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall, the major lift,
The baffled king composing hallelujah.

Hallelujah, hallelujah,
Hallelujah, hallelujah.

Tsunade reached over and turned it off.

"Memorized? Right. Is there anyone here who really, really can't sing?"

Shino slowly raised his hand.

"Fair enough. Ok, Shikamaru, stand up."

"... I'm not singing."

Tsunade smiled sweetly.

"It's an order from the Hokage. Now sing, lazy-a**."

Shikamaru sighed and got to his feet, muttering about troublesome women before closing his eyes and opening his mouth. He sang it perfectly, from note to note. Tsunade frowned.

"Good. That's very good. But there's no emotion. Ok, Lee, you try."

Lee jumped up and started to bellow his way through the song before Tsunade waved her hand hurriedly at him, trying to get him to stop.

"Lee, you're missing notes. Don't look so down, you were doing better than most people would."

Lee grinned and sat down.

"Naruto?"

Naruto stood up and started to sing. He was doing well, melodies pouring from him as his voice climbed higher and higher,

And then broke with a loud squeak and a drop of several octaves. Neji snorted and Sasuke down right snickered as Naruto turned bright red and hurriedly sat down, looking like a kicked puppy.

"It's OK Naruto! You did better than me!"

"Thanks, Lee. You were awesome though."

Lee beamed again.

"Alright, alright. Sasuke, your go."

"Hnn."

Sasuke stood up and opened his mouth. Neji inwardly grinned. After doing extensive research on the Uchiha's, he had found that every single one of them was a semi-tone to a tone flat, no matter what they sang. He was looking forward to this.

Sasuke was stopped five seconds into his rendition, even earlier than Lee.

"Sasuke b*****d! You're worse than me!"

Naruto was practically rolling on the floor in tears of laughter.

"Shut the hell up!"

"You're like, three notes flat!"

"I said shut the hell up, you blonde freak!"

Tsunade intervened before there was an actual fight in her office.

"Ok, Ok! Neji."

A sudden spasm of nervousness grasped his gut and twisted it. He slowly rose to his feet and inhaled deeply, recalling the exact melody.

"I heard there was a secret chord that David played,
And it pleased the Lord,
But you don't really care for music... Do you?"

He could feel the notes and lyrics welling up inside him and pouring out in a waterfall of feeling and sound. He felt overwhelmed and dizzy, the room was spinning and he could feel his voice climbing higher and higher, the emotion dripping from the words as he rolled them around his mouth and released them into the waiting air.

"It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall, the major lift,
The baffled king composing hallelujah...

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah..."

Neji's opened his eyes as the last note softly died away, startled because he couldn't remember shutting them as he drew in breath after breath, trying to slow his racing heart. Everyone was sitting silently, staring at him. Neji inwardly cursed. He must've been really awful, maybe even worse than the Uchiha and that was why they didn't stop him, because it was so terrible and -

"We have a lead singer!"

Neji blinked.

"What?!"

"What do you mean, what? That was awesome! That was like... Amazing! Where did you learn to sing like that? You should be a singer!"

Tsunade grinned at Naruto's outburst before turning to Neji.

"That was perfect, Neji. It was in tune, breath taking and had the exact amount of emotion needed. You're the lead singer."

Her smile disappeared.

"And therefore the most likely target. You are going to be the basic bait for them, luring them in and finding out as much as possible before taking them out. If we knew more about this it would be a basic infiltration mission but as it stands we need you to be as believeable as possible. Do you accept this?"

Neji nodded, feeling shocked and a little dazed.

"Good! Now, we need someone to play drums, keyboard, guitar, bass and a tech. Any preferences?"

Shikamaru raised his hand.

"I can already play the piano, so I'll do keyboard."

"I wanna do guitar!"

"Drums are the instrument of youth! Inspiring the driving force of joy and the beat of the heart! Please, allow me the honor of drumming!"

Sasuke and Shino looked at each other.

"Tech."

"Hnn. Guess I'm bass then."

Tsunade clapped her hands.

"Brilliant! Now, we need a name that's going to appeal to the fourteen to twenty one age group as that's the general type these nin go for. Suggestions?"

There was a moment or two of silent contemplation before Shikamaru, once again, raised his hand.

"Attention Deficit Disorder?"

Neji slowly thought it through. It had a ring to it and would certainly appeal to the designated year group.

"Shorten it to one word, though. It'll look better then."

Shikamaru nodded at Neji.

"Hn. Is there anything else?"

"Just one more thing. I've managed to arrange a tour bus, body guards-"

"We don't need BODY guards, 'Baa-chan!"

"It's for appearances, Naruto! Now, as I was saying... Oh, and a whole new wardrobe. Meet tomorrow morning at eight by the front gate, Shikamaru is Team Leader. That is all."

The six ninja nodded and disappeared in a poof of chakra smoke and displaced air. Tsunade turned to Shizune with a small frown.

"Did I make the right choice?"

Shizune nodded.

"Hyuuga-san's a wonderful singer and I'm sure that they can all look after themselves. I wouldn't worry. The worst that'll happen is that there'll be a fall out within the band."

Tsunade laughed.

"You're right. Sake time!"

Shizune rolled her eyes.


--------------------------

By eight AM next morning there was a fine drizzle and they sky was dark with clouds, low slung and promising heavier rain. Neji, Sasuke, Shino and Lee were all huddled under a tree which was not giving sufficient cover. They'd been told to dress light as they had whole new wardrobes and to just bring a few personal possessions as Tsunade had arranged for a whole load of rock star like items to be placed for them. Even though Neji was trained to deal with lack of personal space and much worse living conditions he still wasn't looking forward to spending three weeks cooped up in the bus with five other people. Looking over at Sasuke and Shino, it was obvious they were thinking the same thing.

Ten minutes later Naruto and Shikamaru joined them, shivering slightly from the cold.

"Alright, listen up. On this trip, we're not ninja. That means no Byakugen, Sharingan, Bugs-bursting-out-of-skin, Kagebunshin, or super-human shows of power, because that would be troublesome to explain. Got it? Nothing. We're members of a band, so we have to act like one. We've got three long weeks ahead and in that time we've got to write a few of our own songs. Tsunade had her aides write eight, but they didn't have enough time to get the other four or so ready. We've also got to learn how to play the instruments at a professional level. Neji and I are sorted because we can both do what we need to, and Shino's got experience with computers. So you, Lee, Sasuke and Naruto are going to have to work harder than the rest of us. We've also got to act like best friends. Casual buddies don't usually form a band. It's troublesome, but we've got to be close. And lucky, lucky us, we have three weeks on a tiny moving vehicle to do that. Now, there's four bunks and one double so we'll have to allocate two people to the double and have everyone else in the singles. It'll be no problem."

Neji was feeling more miserable than before. Sharing a bus was bad enough, but a bed?! That was just mean.

"How will we work out who's sharing the double, Nara-san?"

"Shikamaru, Neji. We're best friends, remember? No "Sans". I don't think we should even really bother with "Kun"'s either... It's simple. We'll just draw straws. The two with the shortest one will share the double."

Neji nodded.

"Oh, one more thing. I hardly think I need to tell you all this, but as we're living in such close quarters, we've got to keep it clean. I know that most bands trash their bus, but while we're getting there I think we should keep it clean. Troublesome, even though we'll all chip in. But you need to keep your hygiene up. I'm sure none of you want to share a bed with a biological hazard. When we get near Mist, we can trash the bus to make it look more authentic."

At that moment, there was a loud honk and a black bus pulled up beside them, ADD sprayed on the side in a raggedy font.

"Well... Here's our ride. Say goodbye to personal space."

One by one they climbed into the bus, waving a miserable hello to the cheery bus driver before turning to the inside.

"Wow..."

There was a collective sigh of amazement. Half way down the bus, there was what seemed like two walls separating the two sections of the bus from each other. On the driver's side of the bus was a collection of sofas with a guitar, bass guitar, keyboard, computer, amps and a mike all lying on them. Attached into the floor next to it was a drum kit that could be screwed and unscrewed for concerts. A little further back was a fridge, cupboards, tables and chairs, all attached to the ground. Silently they wandered through the partition, greeted with the sight of four tiny bunks, two to each wall and a double bed that looked like it would fit one and a quarter people.

Neji turned to Shikamaru.

"Nara-... Shikamaru, that bed is tiny. I don't think two will fit."

Shikamaru eyed up the bed.

"No, two'll fit. Just. It'll be a squeeze, but no-one's sleeping on the floor or couch. It's too uncomfortable and it'll cause unrest and unhappiness within the group."

"Hnn. Where's the bathroom?"

Neji froze. He needed a bathroom. He had to share two rooms and a bed with six other nin, so there was no WAY he could do this without a bathroom. Nu-uh. Not happening.

"Ah! Found it!"

Naruto had run off and seemingly asked the driver. Behind the little partition separating the driver from the rest of them, there was steps down to a small but clean bathroom, equipped with toilet; sink and a shower. Neji sighed in relief.

"You boys go grab yer bunks, an' then we'll get movin'."

The bus driver had a rough but gentle voice which contrasted with his great bulk. The six shinobi nodded and trooped back to the bunks.

"Let's get the troublesome business of choosing bunks out of the way."

Shikamaru reached into his back pocket and withdrew six strips of paper, two shorter than the rest. He turned his back on them and arranged the paper so that they all looked equal. He held his hand out to Shino who drew one of the long ones. Neji picked the one nearest to him, sighing when it came out shorter than Shino's. Fate had once again dealt him an annoying hand.

Naruto, Sasuke and Lee all managed to pick the longer ones leaving Shikamaru with a short one and a scowl on his face.

"How troublesome... Looks like we're sharing, Neji."

"So it would seem."

"Right, go pick your bunks."

After a few moments of scuffling everyone had their chosen bunks and were standing around, not sure what to do next. Shikamaru was inspecting the walls as Neji sighed again and took another look at the double. It really was tiny.

"There are cupboards here with our names on them. We should put our stuff in them before we do anything else."

They nodded and went over to their designated closets, pulling them open.

"What the hell!?"

Neji pulled out what looked like a single strip of pale bluey green leather out of his cupboard, eyes flashing with anger and confusion. There was a moment of shocked silence before Naruto, Sasuke and Shikamaru burst out into loud guffaws.

"I-It's a skirt!"

"Yes, Naruto. I can see that. Why is it in my closet?!"

Neji yanked it out and shook it, quickly bending down and picking out the scrap of paper that had fallen out of it.

"Read it out!"

Neji cleared his throat.

"Neji, I forgot to mention this but the group of nin tend to go for the more feminine members of the band. Since you are the lead singer, putting you as the feminine one increases your attractiveness as bait and will hopefully make them act sooner. - Tsunade."

Neji's fists clenched around the paper, veins popping as he felt his composure crack and start to shatter.

"I. Am. Not. Dressing. Like. A. GIRL!"

"Hey, Neji-chan. Let's see what else you've got."

Sasuke leapt over Naruto and flung open the closet, pulling out more skirts, Gothic tops and bags of accessories before stopping with a jerk.

"... You are not going to believe this."

With an evil grin only Orochimaru could rival, Sasuke reached deeper, and pulled out five short dresses, each trailing miles of ribbons, lace and petticoats. Sasuke held one up to the silently fuming Hyuuga.

"How do you even get into one of these?"

"That's the most troublesome looking item of clothing I've ever seen."

Naruto's eyes were shining with mischief.

"I think you've got to put it over your head, get your arms in the sleeves, do up the ribbons and lace and the... Is that a corset?"

Sasuke's mouth was twitching.

"There are shoes and stockings in there too."

By now Naruto had half fallen over and was weakly clutching Shikamaru, laughing so hard it looked like he was having spasms. Neji was furious.

"I. Am. Not. Wearing. Any. Of. That."

Shikamaru snorted.

"Awh, come on princess. Let's get you all prettied up!"

Naruto fell over.

"No!"

"Come on, come on!"

"You couldn't get me in that thing if you tried."

Sasuke held up a small bag.

"Tsunade's left you a shaving kit, too."

At this Shikamaru started laughing, joining the spasming Naruto on the floor, tears falling from Naruto's eyes. Neji's narrowed with rage and wounded pride as Lee started to give him a speech.

"I think it's a wonderful opportunity for you to show your feminine side, Neji! You should embrace your nobility and grace! As Gai-Sensei once said, it is very important for a ninja to be delicate as well as deadly! Wearing this will be a great boost for your abilities! I almost envy you! Use this chance to the fullest!"

Neji couldn't bear it anymore. His brain felt like it was swimming and he knew his cheeks were crimson from embarrassment and anger as Lee stuck up his thumb in his infamous Good-Guy pose. He couldn't bear it anymore.

"It's obvious that Tsunade feels that I am the only one here who can do the most for this mission. Now, if you'll excuse me."

And with that, Neji turned and stormed down the length of the bus, stomping down the steps and walking into the bathroom with a bang, locking the door after him. Shikamaru drew in breath after breath to try and calm himself down.

"Mah... Troublesome... We shouldn't've laughed so much."

Naruto was still giggling weakly.

"Yeah... I guess we were too harsh..."

Sasuke nodded slowly.

"Hnn. I wouldn't want to wear that stuff."

Lee chimed in.

"Plus he's got to shave his manly leg hair and put on make-up!"

"Then sing."

Shikamaru nodded to Shino and Lee.

"I'll go apologize."

Naruto grinned and clapped him on the back.

"When he comes out we'll all apologize."

"Alright!"

Sasuke just nodded.

"Hey... We don't all have get up like that, do we?"

The three boys paled and ran over to their closets, yanking them open and sighing in relief once they realized that no dresses or skirts were going to jump out at them. Just several items of very tight clothing in lurid colours.

"... It's not as bad as Neji's..."

Shikamaru held up a pair of black and lime green striped leather trousers and nodded.

"Yeah... I'm going to go talk to him."

Shikamaru stuck his hands in his pockets and sauntered down the carpeted hallway, waving to the driver who informed them that they were going to get moving now. Shikamaru nodded and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Neji?"

Neji jumped. He was sitting on the floor, arms crossed and glowering at the opposite wall as he picked up the pieces of his crumbling composure and assured himself that no-one from Konoha was ever going to see him in that hideous thing.

"Neji, are you alright?"

Neji made a noncommittal grunt.

"Well... The driver says's were going to get moving any second now. So watch out."

Neji grunted again.

"Open the door?"

"No."

A loud roar drowned out Shikamaru's next words as the driver revved the engine and started to move the bus forward. Neji gripped the sides of the tub. After a moment or two the noise of the engine died down and the rocking motion of the vehicle slowed. Neji slowly let go of the tub.

"Neji, please open the door."

Neji made a low growling noise, strode over to the door, unlocked it and flung it open.

"What do you want now, Nara?"

Shikamaru winced and brought his hand up to the back of his head.

"I came here to apologize, Neji."

"Hmph."

"I'm sorry for teasing you about the stuff you have to wear and for laughing at you. I now realize how humiliating it must be for you as you have to sing, dress like that and then be the main target."

Neji sniffed.

"I won't laugh at you again?"

Neji crossed his arms, his coolness regained.

"I should think not."

Shikamaru let out a lazy grin.

"Maah, I'm glad thats sorted. Let's go check out those instruments, then."

Shikamaru turned around and walked back to the couches, plonking himself down next to the huge keyboard, switching it on and experimentally hitting one or two of the keys before playing a simple rendition of some nursery rhyme. Shikamaru grinned and hit a couple of buttons, memorizing the different sounds it played. Naruto, Sasuke, Lee and Shino all emerged from the bedroom looking slightly sheepish, sitting down next to their designated instruments. Naruto walked up to Neji and put on a hopeful grin.

"We're all sorry for laughing at you, Neji. We won't do it again!"

Neji nodded and Naruto skipped off, picking up the shiny black and orange guitar before looking up at everyone.

"Er... How do I play a guitar?"

Neji walked over and took it out of Naruto's hands, plugged it in and waited until the static died away.

"Like this."

Neji showed Naruto how to hold the guitar correctly and positioned his hands over the G chord.

"Now, strum with the plectrum."

Naruto took the small piece of plastic from Neji's fingers and dragged it across the strings, grinning as a hesitant but correct chord was played.

"Hey, how do you know how to play guitar, Neji?"

"It was a training program. Someone played a tune on the guitar and Hinata and I had to memorize it and play it back."

"Ahh! Do you know how to play anything else?"

"No. I memorized it perfectly first time, so I didn't need to continue with the training. Music instruments are not what a Hyuuga would usually fight with."

Sasuke stood up and walked over to the DVD player, rummaging through the DVDs until he found one that looked promising.

"Hn. I found a music video with all the instruments we're playing in it."

Shino looked up from his computer.

"I've found sheet music."

Shikamaru nodded and turned to Shino.

"Print out a few songs that use all of our instruments. What video's that, Sasuke?"

"Basic tutorial for bass and guitar. There are other ones for drums, keyboard and singing too."

"Put it on."

Sasuke slid the disk into the drive and hit the play button. A cheery, annoying voice started to talk.

"Hello and welcome to Band DIY! My name is Cynthia and I'm going to show you how to make a band!"

Neji winced at the screeching sound of her voice.

"First off, let's start with the guitar and bass! If you have your instruments beside you, pick them up and get into a space with lots of room! We don't want any injuries now!"

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other before grabbing their instruments, plugging them in and standing four feet apart, facing the TV.

"I am so going to beat you, b*****d!"

"In your dreams, dumb a**!"

Naruto turned to Sasuke but before he could do anything, the voice rang out again.

"Ok! Let's start with the guitarist! Feel free to stop this DVD at anytime to practice, or if it is going too fast. Now, place your fingers for the G chord, like so."

A picture popped up on the TV and Naruto quickly placed his fingers over the correct strings.

"Now, with the pick, strum like so."

The TV played the G chord six times before stopping.

"Now it's your turn."

Naruto played the chords back perfectly, looking over and grinning at the serious looking Uchiha.

"See? I'm awesome! The best here!"

Sasuke scoffed.

"It was hardly difficult!"

Once again the grating voice rang out. Neji closed his eyes and sank into another meditation, calculating how long his current clothes would last before he had to go and wear one of the monstrosities hiding in his closet. He calculated around three days, provided nothing happened to them, but he knew he had to start wearing them sooner rather than later as they looked difficult to sing in and probably were very uncomfortable to wear. Neji inwardly sighed. He'd start off in one of those disgusting skirts and then move onto the dresses. An hour and twenty minutes later a slightly sweaty blonde flopped down next to him, the bass and guitar tutorial over as Sasuke did the same on the other couch.

Neji turned to Shikamaru with an eyebrow raised. Shikamaru grinned and nodded his head in an affirmative.

"Alright. You two were really good, we'll have you up to professional level within the week. Lee, it's your turn."

Lee had been sitting there, quivering with excitement and now he jumped up with a loud, triumphant cry.

"YATTA! Finally!"

He leapt over to the drums and sat down on the stool, grabbing the two sticks and waiting eagerly for Cynthia's A-Thousand-Years-Of-Pain voice.

"Lee, no leaping over sofas and people, remember?"

Lee gasped and then nodded, looking ashamed.

"Hello again! We are now going to move onto a very important part of a band. The drums!"

"ALRIGHT!"

"Lee, shut it!"

"Ahh, sorry, sorry, Shikamaru!"

"Now, this is the tom tom, the snare, the crash cymbal..."

Neji closed his eyes and sank into another meditation. This time working out the pros and cons of having to share the bed with Shikamaru. He knew Lee kicked and Naruto was probably one of the types who spread himself all over the bed, taking up all the room and covers and generally being annoying. Shino would've been bearable, as long as no bugs were creeping around and getting into his clothes and hair. He was completely indifferent to Sasuke and Shikamaru didn't seem like he'd have any habits to watch out for. Unless laziness was catching in close proximity...

Neji was quickly brought out of this thoughts as a drum stick flew into the back of his head, hitting him with such force that it snapped in two. There was a shocked moment of silence within the rumbling bus.

"NEJI!? NEJI!? NEJI, CAN YOU HEAR ME, DATTE-"

Neji, once again shoved Naruto off him as the idiotic blonde leapt onto his lap, grabbing Neji's shirt.

"Naruto, get off me. A drumstick across the head is not going to cause me any damage, let alone kill me!"

"NEJI MY ETERNAL RIVAL! I AM SO SORRY! IT WAS NOT AN INTENTIONAL ATTACK ON YOUR PERSON! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I SHALL RUN TO THE GROCERS EVERY MORNING AND PREPARE YOU A WONDEFUL, YOUTHFUL BREAKFAST AND CLEAN YOUR WEAPONS AND MAKE SURE NO-ONE DISTURBS YOU WHILE YOU TRAIN!"

Neji sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Lee, it's fine. Don't worry."

Sasuke's lips twitched as Shikamaru drawled out an explanation.

"He got over excited. The woman told him they were going on to drum solos."

Neji rolled his eyes at Shikamaru, warned Naruto never to jump on him again even if he was dead and told Lee to watch where he flung his drumsticks. Lee nodded and drew out another stick, finishing his tutorial without another mishap.

"Skip the keyboard bit, it's too troublesome and I know it all."

Sasuke nodded and hit the next button.

"Now you have all your instruments, you need a lead singer!"

Neji slowly stood up, nervousness twisting his gut again. He had no idea why he still got nervous before he sang, it wasn't as if it was life threatening or anything.

"Now, we're going to do some simple breathing exercises. It is very important for a singer to breathe properly as he or she sings. A singer does not need to 'force' or 'push' air through the vocal chords to produce a good strong sound, doing so creates too much pressure against the chords, preventing them from operating correctly which can cause damage to the voice. The stomach area should move naturally inward toward the end of the breath and the stomach should not be 'sucked in'. Instead the abdominal area should remain expanded to the level it was when you inhaled and allowed to gradually decrease naturally at the end of the breath.

This is where control comes into play - the singer expands the lungs by inhaling and 'controls' the amount of air expelled when singing a note by allowing the muscle support system to remain expanded - this doesn't mean the stomach is pushed out, rather that it is blown up like a balloon when the air goes in and the singer slows down the natural rate at which it goes down. Breathing correctly uses the whole of the lungs so that more air is available, the singer then uses the natural action of the muscles (diaphragm and abdominals) surrounding the lungs to control the amount of air that is exhaled when singing."

Neji was trying to remember all of this as the woman's voice went on and on.

"The following exercise may make you feel tired at first, but keep at it. To find out if you are breathing correctly, place a hand on your belly button. This area should expand first when you breathe in and then spread upwards until your chest is expanded but don't lift the shoulders or push the stomach out. Practice the following exercise."

Neji narrowed his eyes at the woman who was obviously trying to humiliate him and placed his hand on his stomach, breathing in. He threw the TV a satisfied smirk as his body responded the way it was supposed to.

"Now, lie flat on your back and place your hands on your waist, fingers pointing towards your belly button."

Neji's smirk faltered as Naruto snorted from somewhere behind him. With what Neji hoped was great grace and dignity he lowed himself on the floor and lay down, placing his hands on his waist.

"Focus on filling up your stomach from the bottom to the top taking a slow deep breath. The aim is not to fill yourself to bursting but to inhale enough air so that you can feel the difference between a shallow breath taken when breathing from the chest. You should feel your stomach rise and your hands being raised gently up and outward until you feel your chest expanding. The expansion is not only at the front of the body but also to the sides and back as well."

"It looks like you've suddenly gotten fat, Neji."

Neji's eyebrow twitched at Naruto's remark.

"Breath out slowly to a count of five."

Shutting out Naruto's snigger's he completed the exercises without mishap before getting to his feet and waiting for his next set of instructions.

"Posture and movement for singers are a crucial part of any tutors teaching. Part of being able to sing well includes the ability to be aware of your body, identify and correct problems that arise due to incorrect posture. However, this does not mean that your posture needs to be perfect!"

Well, this didn't sound like it was going to be too difficult or humiliating.

"Standing naturally ensuring the head, neck and shoulders are relaxed is the correct posture for singing. Whilst most people do this automatically, there are others whose posture has become lazy, or who have developed bad habits that can inhibit their singing which is why we've provided some guidelines, do's and dont's and exercises to help improve your posture."

"Hey, isn't posture like when girls put books on their heads and walk around?"

Shikamaru's lips twitched.

"That's a small part of it but it basically means standing up straight."

Neji ignored them. He already had perfect posture and therefore didn't think he needed this much, although there may be a snippet of vital information.

"Do be relaxed and natural, keep your movements fluid, keep your chin level, keep your knees loose, keep your head up, keep your shoulders sloping and relaxed, keep your toes pointed forward with your weight on heels and soles, keep the front of your neck loose and don't stretch it, keep abdominal muscles relaxed, keep your back muscles relaxed and smile!"

Naruto snorted again.

"Smile? Neji?"

Neji already had most of that naturally. All he had to do was keep relaxed and not tense up.

"Don't drop or hunch your shoulders, move stiffly or jerkily, drop or tuck in your chin when trying to sing low notes, stretch your head upward when trying to sing high notes and don't strain or push your abdominal muscles."

Simple.

"Now, let's go on to some exercises! For these exercises you will need: A long mirror, preferably full length, and a largish book of medium weight. Make sure you are wearing comfy loose clothing and flat shoes, or bare feet. You also need a flat long surface i.e., hallway or enough room to walk several paces, a friend who can observe and make constructive comments and notes. Patience and a good sense of humor are also required!"

Maybe not so simple. Neji paused the DVD and turned to his team mates.

"We don't have a mirror."

"I'm sure you can do without one."

"A large book?"

"The laptop will do, won't it? We've got enough room, your clothes qualify if you take off your shoes and we'll make the comments."

"Yeah. All you're missing is the good sense of humor!"

Neji glared at Naruto.

"I have a sense of humor. It just doesn't quite stoop to your levels of idiocy."

Naruto glowered back at Neji as he smirked triumphantly. Shino wordlessly handed over the laptop from where he was sitting as Neji kicked off his shoes and turned back to the TV, resuming the DVD.

"Place the mirror in a position at the end of the hallway or room where you can see the whole of or at the least the top half of your body. Study how you stand and compare with the Do's and Dont's above and make adjustments to your posture if necessary."

Neji paused it again.

"Can I move the TV so it's next to the sofas? That way I can see the TV and you."

Lee jumped up and quickly repositioned the television next to the sofa before sitting down again as Neji started it up.

"Stand at the end of the walk space and walk naturally towards the mirror observing your movements and posture as you walk. When walking your weight should be mainly on the balls of your feet, so your heels just lightly touch the floor, with the majority of movement from the hips and legs. The upper body should remain straight, relaxed and not 'swing' from side to side. Even if it seems that you are standing and moving with the correct posture it is difficult without an experienced observer who will notice bad habits that may appear normal to you."

Neji closed his eyes for a second, steeling himself for what was probably some of the most humiliating moments of his life. He turned around and walked forward until he was facing the bathroom before slowly turning around and walking back. Shikamaru nodded.

"Good, but you swing your hips a little. Do it again."

Neji scowled and re-did the exercise.

"Ok, you're not swinging now."

"Exercise one. Place the book centrally on the top of your head and turn your head slowly to the left, return to center then repeat the exercises turning your head to the right. The head movements should be smooth with eyes ahead, chin level, head, neck and shoulders relaxed. If the exercise is done correctly the book will remain in place. Repeat this exercise until you can do it several times without the book falling off."

"Hah! I told you that's what this was all about!"

Neji grabbed the laptop and balanced it on top of his head, following the exercise and smirking as it stuck to his head perfectly.

"Exercise two. Stand at the end of the walk space and place the book centrally on the top of your head. Walk normally towards the mirror, observing your posture as you walk. If your posture is correct and your movements are smooth then the book will remain in place! Repeat this exercise until you can walk the length of the space without the book falling."

He slowly walked backwards and forwards, the laptop not wobbling once, even when the bus hit a rut and dipped suddenly.

"When you have mastered your breathing and posture, the following singing exercises will help you on the path to improving and understanding your voice. If you're having a bad day or feel tense and stressed, this can affect your practices and performance. If it all starts going horribly wrong, take a break, relax or do something else and try again later. Stand with your shoulders relaxed, arms by your side. Breathe in slowly but do not suck in your stomach! Sing these phrases after me to improve diction."

Neji took several slow breaths.

"I really love to sing, I really love to sing, I really love to sing, I really love to sing!"

Neji twitched but opened his mouth and repeated the phrase up and down the scale.

"Fluffy floppy puppy, fluffy floppy puppy, fluffy floppy puppy, fluffy floppy puppy!"

Neji was going to hunt down this woman, slice out her eyes and feed them to the pigeons. He sang the phrase, blatantly ignoring Naruto's sniggering.

"Lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop, lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop, lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop, lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop!"

Now this was just going too far.

"Damn, I wish we had a camcorder!"

Neji shot a look of pure death over to Naruto before reluctantly repeating the woman's stupid phrase.

"If you practice these everyday your breathing will improve and you'll find it a lot easier to sing! Now, we're going to play a short phrase of music a couple of times and then we'll forfeit the voice and have the lyrics running along the bottom. Sing along to the recording until you're sure you've memorized the words."

The opening notes started playing as Shikamaru grinned.

"I know this. It's I Want Candy."

Neji turned to Shikamaru, looking horrified.

"What?!"

"It's about to start!"

Neji quickly turned back to the screen.

I know a guy who's tough but sweet,
He's so fine he can't be beat!
Got everything that I desire!
Sets the summer sun on fire!

I want candy! I want candy!

Neji turned to Shikamaru.

"Do I have to sing that? It's terrible and makes me sound like a female prostitute!"

Naruto snickered.

"It fits. You've got to sing like one then dress like one!"

Neji turned on his glare and was about to make some snarky reply to Naruto but, once again, the woman's voice rang out.

"Alright! I think that's enough now. We'll play it through some more. Don't forget to keep playing it until you know the lyrics!"

Neji hit the skip button. He had memorized them the first time he heard them.

"Do you have it memorized, lead singer? Then let's go!"

The drum solo started up and Neji ordered his body to relax and adopt the correct position, filling his lungs like he'd been told.

"I know a guy who's tough but sweet,
He's so fine he can't be beat!"

Once again Neji could feel the words and music welling up inside him like a golden river, pouring from the bottom of his soul. It didn't matter that he hated the song and it didn't really make sense, he could feel what he needed to do, voice rising and shooting off the higher-than-high notes, resonating with the lower ones and flowing out of his mouth.

"Got everythin' that I desire!
Sets the summer sun on fi-ah!"

He didn't even need to look at the screen. The words came without even having to think about them, knowing exactly when to breathe and when to get louder and softer, all on instinct.

"I want candy! I want candy!"

Once again, he opened his eyes that had slid shut and looked over his shoulder to the five other boys who were sitting there staring at him like he was some sort of new, never been seen before animal.

"I, uh... Was it really bad?"

Neji could feel his face warming up again.

"Hell no. Jeez, Neji. You're really something."

Naruto joined in with Shikamaru.

"Yeah! You sang it better than the original woman! How come you've never sung before?!"

"Well, uh... I sang in the Hyuuga choir when I was younger once..."

Naruto nodded enthusiastically.

"Now that you mention it, I remember you telling us that ages ago!"

Neji nodded.

"So not only is my eternal rival a genius, he's also an amazing musician! My determination to beat you has strengthened! If I can't beat you by-"

"Yes, Ok Lee."

Lee stopped mid rant and looked down dejectedly.

"Hn. What do we do now?"

"We could sleep."

"Or eat ramen!"

"New insects."

"Training!"

"Hn. I agree with Lee."

Neji sighed. It was going to be a long, long mission.




A/N Wow. This is a long first chapter XD! I hope you like it! Reviews make me want to write more biggrin

Poor Neji. I don't hate him, he's my favorite character EVER. Seriously. I'm just really mean to him D:

-Sophie

I know xd After talking to Risu The Troll who kindly beta'd my first chapter, we decided it was too out of character, but I plan on writing a oneshot all about that because the idea made me laugh so much xd

To post the second chapter, should I do a new post or continue the first one?

Okei-doke! Here's chapter two, once again Beta'd by the wonderful Risu the Troll thank you again! And here's a thank you to Chibi Envy Chan Who's also been simply awesome biggrin



A/N Whelp, I thought I should get the second chapter up. Do you guys like this? You gotta tell me ya know XD Don't be a lurker!!!

Once again I'd like to apologize for any OOCness and I'd love it if you pointed out any mistakes to me. Songs used, Hallelujah - Lenard Cohen The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars

This is dedicated to Brittany, also known as ShallowShadows, Yohlee and Ki"ba! Thank you for being awesome biggrin !!!



After a long debate and a heated argument between Naruto and Sasuke, the team finally decided that they should try playing some of the music Shino had found on the laptop. Shikamaru turned to the bug lover.

"Have you got the sheet music ready, Shino?"

Shino silently nodded and handed several sheaves over to Shikamaru.

"Right. Well, so far we have Lenard Cohen's “Hallelujah”, I think that's the one we auditioned. We have “The Kill” by Thirty Seconds To Mars, “Dirty Little Secret” by The All-American Rejects and “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” by Panic! At The Disco... Shino, this is all Emoish music."

Shino nodded.

"It seems that's the kind of band you need to be, with the exception of Cohen. That's all there is."

"Hnn. Cohen was probably put there because it's only got the keyboard and a singer, therefore it's easier than the rest."

"Troublesome, but I guess we're just practicing. You can all read music, right?"

Naruto frowned.

"I can't."

"Me neither! But I will master it! Or I will run behind the bus for eight days!"

“That's not going to be very useful, Lee. You kinda need to learn the drums and running that long isn't going to help!”

Lee nodded at Naruto and before he could come up with another challenge, Shikamaru turned to Sasuke.

"You help Naruto and I'll see to Lee. Neji, just look over the lyrics for Hallelujah and The Kill, alright?"

Neji nodded and picked up his sheaf of notes. He quickly scanned through them, humming out the tune under his breath before turning to Shino.

"Can you play these two songs?"

Shino nodded and three minutes later Hallelujah was playing through the laptop's speakers. Neji committed the lyrics and tune to memory, humming it through to make sure it was definitely there.

"And The Kill?"

Minutes later Neji had memorized The Kill as well. He looked over to the others, catching Shikamaru's eye.

"Alright, Lee. Do you think you've got it?"

Lee nodded enthusiastically then back flipped onto his drum stool.

"Lee! No Taijutsu!"

"Wah! Sorry!"

"Got it, dumb a**?"

"Sure thing, b*****d."

Shikamaru stood up.

"Right. Neji and I are going to duet Hallelujah while you run through your music for the other song. Be as quiet as possible. In fact, use the head phones. Ok?"

Shikamaru picked up his keyboard and set it on the low table in the corner.

"Come and plug your mike in here."

Neji did so, tapping away the crackles of static.

"Testing."

His voice rang loud and clear. He closed his eyes and breathed like he'd been advised before nodding to Shikamaru who looked down at the keyboard and started playing.

"I've heard there was a secret chord that David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this: The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing hallelujah..."

Again the words were tumbling forth, the pure emotion rolling from the song was overwhelming him, carrying him away on torrents of music.

"Hallelujah, hallelujah,
Hallelujah, hallelujah..."

It was rising in his chest like a swelling balloon, stretching his insides. He couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Your faith was strong but you needed proof,
You saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you.
She tied you to the kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah..."

He was singing for himself now, forgetting about the other teens in the room, notes swirling through his foggy mind as he climbed higher and higher, reaching a soul wrenching crescendo as the waves of feeling crashed through him.

"Hallelujah, hallelujah,
Hallelujah, hallelujah..."

He felt like crying at laughing all at once but he couldn't stop the waterfall of notes bursting forth like a river breaking it's banks.

"Maybe I've been here before, I know this room I've walked this floor,
I used to live alone before I knew you, I've seen your flag on the marble lodge,
Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah!"

He was vaguely aware of a sense of stillness surrounding him like a void. An emptiness of anything except his voice. And then it hit him, mid hallelujah.

"Hallelujah, hallelujah-"

Shikamaru had stopped playing.

Neji's eyes flew open and he turned to Shikamaru, feeling panic pulse him.

"Was I out of tune? Did I miss-"

He stopped. Shikamaru was staring at him like he'd grown another head and it looked like the dark side of the moon or something.

"Er... Shikama-"

"You're crying..."

"I... What?"

Neji was completely and utterly confused. He looked over his shoulder to where the rest of them were sitting, all staring at him. Naruto cleared his throat.

"When you reached the second chorus... Er, well... You started crying."

Neji slowly lifted his hand up to his eyes and swiped at them, taking in a sharp breath when his hands came away wet with tears.

"What the...?"

"Tears just started flowing, man!"

Neji sat down. How he wanted to be alone, just to escape the confusion that was barreling through him.

"Does this often happen when you sing?"

Neji looked over at Shikamaru.

"No. I've never... Cried while singing."

"Did the words do something to you? Are they too sad?"

Neji started to get annoyed at Naruto. He obviously wasn't aware that he was crying, so why should he know why it had happened?

"No. Just leave it, Naruto. It won't happen again."

Neji stood up.

"... If you burst into tears every time you sing something slightly emotional, then you're obviously either very Emo or very weak."

Neji whirled around and glared at Sasuke.

"I wasn't crying. There was probably something in the air which triggered a reaction."

"Whatever."

Neji continued to glare at Sasuke as Shikamaru stood and picked up the other music.

"Stop arguing and let's just get on. Here."

Shikamaru handed out the music, ignoring Lee's excited squeal. The lazy nin walked up to Neji and handed over the lyrics.

"Don't worry about it. Or Sasuke, for that matter. It was probably a one-off thing caused by stress."

Neji nodded, glad that someone believed that he wasn't some wuss who cried easily.

"Alright people. Five minutes of practice and then we start."

Five loud and confusing minutes later, everyone was assembled and rearing to go.

"This is troublesome, so we're just going up to the end of the first chorus. Shino, stop us if we go horribly wrong, alright?"

Shino nodded.

"Count of three. One, two, three!"

Naruto and Lee sprang into action, with Neji following close behind.

"What if I wanted to break? Laugh it all off in your face?
What would you do? Woah - oh - oh - oh...
What if I fell to the floor? Couldn't -"

There was a loud clang and crash. Neji spun around, instinctively dropping into a defensive position.

"Wah! I dropped it!"

Neji slowly stood up as Sasuke turned to Naruto.

"What the hell, you idiot? How the hell did you manage to drop your guitar?! You had it strapped on!"

"I don't know, b*****d!The strap broke and it just leapt out of my hands!"

Sasuke strode over and picked up the glittering guitar.

"Hnn. You stood on the cable, freak."

"Oh..."

Shikamaru sighed.

"Make sure you've secured strap properly next time. You probably didn't attach it correctly, Naruto."

Naruto nodded and attached the strap to the guitar, slinging it over his shoulder. After six more false starts, they managed to successfully get through the song without any more major disasters until Lee sheepishly held up his two very battered drum sticks.

"I think I need new ones..."

"How troublesome... Tsunade should've seen this happening... Isn't there a stock of them? Go check your closet. There should be spares in there. Naruto and Sasuke both had reels of strings, after all."

Lee bounced off down the bus and into the bedroom, re-emerging half a minute later clutching a carrier bag full of them.

"Alright! I have more sticks!"

Lee carefully placed them in the black bucket by his drums, straightening up once he felt they and the bucket were secure.

"What do we do now, youthful team leader Shikamaru?"

"Let's get some lunch."

"Ramen!?"

Shikamaru sighed.

"No, we need to eat sensibly to keep ourselves healthy."

Neji nodded while he switched off his microphone.

"Hnn. Looks like we're eating whatever we can make with out a cooker."

Shikamaru tugged his earring.

“Well, we do have a camping stove. But I think it would be better idea if we didn't stop more than once a day. That way, we'd save time and we could be seen as more social if we go somewhere public and eat. That in turn would make the nin feel safer in getting close to us, because we stop and are seen in places like bars and restaurants.”

"Alright! We can make ramen!"

"No, idiot. The water's not hot enough."

"Awh, man! Then can we have-"

"Probably not."

"You b*****d! You didn't even let me finish!"

"So? It was going to be stupid anyway."

Shikamaru placed a hand on their backs and shoved them towards the fridge.

"You two can prepare the food today. Argue over there. Have lunch ready in an hour at most."

The bus hit a rut and Neji sniggered as Sasuke stumbled slightly. Neji turned to Shikamaru.

"Can I use the shower, please?"

"Yeah. Go for it."

Neji inwardly grinned. A shower meant normality. It meant peace, relaxation, solitude and an escape from this sudden madness he'd been chucked into. It meant warmth and quiet and he could get rid of his emotions like the dirt trickling down the drain. Neji grabbed his wash bag and practically ran to the small room before someone else could get there first.

Shikamaru shook his head and walked over to sit next to Shino.

"What's that?"

Shino adjusted his glasses before turning to Shikamaru.

"It's a lighting program. For the stage. I'm just seeing what it can do."

"Can I see it so far?"

Shino nodded, clicking a button. A stage appeared with five basic figures on it in a sort of wonky pentagon, each with an instrument. Shino clicked another one and beams of light began to swing around the stage, illuminating the figures and switching colours.

"You plug this into the lighting controller via USB port. The computer moves the lights automatically, according to the program. We have a small performance scheduled in four days and it will need some lighting."

Shikamaru nodded.

"Do you have a timetable?"

Shino hit another button and the small, attachable printer began whirring. He collected the sheets of paper and handed them to Shikamaru.

"Hmmn... So we have a thirty minute slot... We can spend five minutes introducing ourselves, and then we should be able to get through five songs. Do you have the music that Tsunade prepared for us?"

Shino brought up a new window and started to print it out.

"Thanks."

"Hey, Shikamaru! We're going to have to stop for supplies! There's not much food in here!"

The lazy nin sighed and got up, walking over to inspect the cupboards and fridge.

"How troublesome... Make what you can out of this. I'll go talk to the driver."

Sasuke nodded and started to chop up the various vegetables, ignoring Naruto's 'Bleh!' faces at the sight of so many greens. Shikamaru's lip twitched as Sasuke made Naruto slice carrots under pain of being made to wear one of Neji's dresses.

Shikamaru ambled over to the driver, knocking on the window and waiting until the bus slowed down, turning onto what seemed to be miles and miles of empty road, littered with thorny trees and small bushes.

“Were are we, exactly?”

“We're abou' a hundred an fifteh miles east o' Konoha. We're jus' turnin' onto the main motorway. You boys alrigh' back there? Heard ya practicing, pretty good!"

"Thank you. I was wondering when we were going to stop for supplies?"

The bus driver stroked his stubbly chin.

"Well... Ah need to get some petrol soon... We can stop in aboot an hour. Is tha' alrigh'?"

Shikamaru nodded and smiled at the man before joining Shino on the couch, examining the timetables. A few moments later Neji walked out of the bathroom fully dressed, with a towel wrapped around his head to hide his seal. Naruto snorted.

"You look like one of those Indians!"

"Indeed. Whereas you look like an idiot."

"Hey!"

Neji smirked and strode past him into the bedroom, opening his closet. He ignored the heinous clothing and dug around the bottom for a brush. After a few moments of searching amid the mess of various items, he found the brush beneath what seemed to be two bits of metal covered in some sort of plastic, clamped together at one end and trailing a plug. He went back into the main space and held them up.

"Does anyone know what these are used for?"

Naruto bounced over and snatched them out of his hands.

"Wow! They must be some sort of secret weapon! Or maybe they're for doing up the dress, or even-"

"Shut up, freak. They're hair straighteners."

Neji turned to Sasuke.

"What?"

"Girls use them to make their hair straighter. You plug them in, they heat up and they iron out your hair."

Neji cocked an eyebrow.

"How do you know all this?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"My mother had a pair and Sakura was trying to show me hers once."

There was a slight awkward pause. This was the first time Neji had heard Sasuke mention any of his family.

"Ah. Can they be used on wet hair?"

Shikamaru took them out of Naruto's hands and read out the tiny label.

"Wet to dry hair straighteners. Towel dry hair until damp. Leave straighteners for two minutes, then use. Do not touch metal with bare fingers."

Shikamaru handed them back to Neji.

"There's a plug over there."

“Are there none in the bedroom?”

“There doesn't seem to be. The lights are all fitted into the walls and there are no other electrical devices in there.”

Neji nodded and went over to the plug, shoving it in and switching them on. A small red light blinked into life. He guessed that the light meant it was fully functional and heating up. He sat down next to them and reached up to undo his towel, feeling slightly uncomfortable that in a few seconds everyone would see his curse seal. He could hardly ask them to turn away but he still didn't like to show it. There were too many bad memories attached to it.

With a small sigh he took of the towel and rubbed furiously at his hair until it was only slightly damp. He glanced up through the messy hair, flushing slightly when he realized they were all staring at him.

"What?"

They gave a small collective start as Neji spoke and quickly went back to whatever they were doing.

"... Is there something wrong?"

"Mah... No, you just look a lot different with your hair down and wet."

Neji frowned slightly.

"Yeah, like, more feminine."

Make that a glare. Naruto gulped.

"Just because I have to cross dress on this mission does not mean I am any less male than I started out."

He grabbed the brush and started to pull it through his hair, satisfied at the smooth way it glided down. Having long hair was a sign of power within the Hyuuga clan, and the fact that Neji's was almost down to his lower back showed he was very strong indeed. And rather insolent as no-one was allowed to have their hair as long as the clan leader's and Neji's was fast catching up, if it wasn't already longer. He had been asked several times to cut it but had just glared down the quivering messengers with great satisfaction.

Once he was convinced his hair was free of tangles and knots he reached over and picked up the straighteners, now proudly displaying a green light. He clacked them together a few times, wondering how to go about this. Finally, he separated a chunk of hair, clipped the straighteners around the top of it and pulled downwards. A loud hiss and crackle came from them and quickly yanked them away from his hair, inspecting the strands and then the machine.

"Is it meant to do that?"

Shikamaru shrugged.

"I think it was probably just the contact of water on hot metal. If it didn't do anything bad to your hair then it's probably supposed to happen."

Neji nodded and slowly repositioned the straighteners, wincing as they spluttered and spat. After fifteen minutes his hair was bone dry, straight, a lot longer and shining in the electric light. Neji stood up and unplugged the straighteners, searching for his hair tie.

He turned around.

"Has anyone seen my hair tie?"

Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru and Lee all turned to answer him and froze. Neji shifted slightly, feeling uncomfortable as they all stared at him.

"Uh..."

Sasuke cleared his throat awkwardly and went back to chopping vegetables, elbowing Naruto into doing the same.

"... I'm going to take that as a 'No, Neji. I have not seen your hair tie.'"

Feeling a bit nervous, Neji turned around and went back to searching, letting out a quiet "Hah!" as he located it under the chair. He was about to do up his hair when Shikamaru stopped him.

"You'll need to wear it down in concert. I wouldn't tie it up."

Neji sighed and slipped the hair tie into his pocket before going over and sitting opposite Lee and Shikamaru. The green clad Taijutsu specialist was still gaping at him. Neji felt his composure slip a little as he caught Naruto staring at him too. Neji rubbed his curse seal and turned to Shikamaru.

"... Does my seal bother you?"

Neji felt around in his pockets, drawing out his headband and tying it around the damning mark. Lee snapped out of his trance and jumped up, flailing a bit and shouting something about the ingeniousness of modern machinery and how it could do wonderful but strange things. Neji raised an eyebrow at Shikamaru.

"It's... Changed your appearance."

Neji stood up and strode into the bathroom. He closed his eyes, stood in front of the mirror and opened them. His eyes widened. He looked... Well, Shikamaru was right when he said it was a change. His hair was hanging down his lower waist in a kind of waterfall, a lot longer and straighter than usual. The little feathery strands were brushing his cheek bones and softening his features, paling his skin even more. He now looked like a masculine girl. He took one last look at himself before walking back into the room and sitting down again.

"Well, now I look the part."

Shikamaru nodded. Naruto cleared his throat and announced that lunch was served. Sasuke and Naruto had managed to whip up a simple but pleasing arrangement of salads and cold meats, much to Neji's surprise. They all grabbed a plate and helped themselves before going and sitting down on the sofas.

"It's troublesome, but I think that starting tomorrow we should all wear our costumes and get used to the feel of it."

He turned to Neji.

"You've probably already thought of this, but you're going to have to be able to sing with a corset and other things on, so I'd start wearing them as soon as possible."

Neji threw the smirking Naruto a glare and nodded at Shikamaru.

"I'll start in a skirt-"

Naruto snorted and Lee elbowed him.

"... And then move on to the dress."

Shikamaru nodded and turned to face everyone.

"I think this goes without saying but we, as a group, are not going to publish photo's of any of us in this kit. It'll cause humiliation and detract from our concentration. However, I've been looking at our schedule and we have an interview in two days time with a small magazine."

Neji's heart sank.

"So we'll have to be in full costume. And there will probably be photographers. We also have a story that we must stick to. My rich uncle heard us practicing one day and thought we had real talent. He set us up with all this kit and arranged us to tour to Mist, prior to us even bringing out a CD. We were so excited we jumped at the chance, and here we are."

Everyone nodded.

"What's his name?"

“... We'll call him Karaka."

Neji smirked.

"Karaka Nara. It's got a ring to it."

"Indeed. Now, talking of names, we need to change ours."

Naruto cocked his head to one side.

"Why?"

"Because the Nara, Aburame, Uchiha and Hyuuga clans are world known. It would seem a bit suspicious if a member from each of the strongest clans in Konoha all teamed up to form a band, especially as quickly as we did. We need to change them to fit the genre, and Neji's needs to sound more feminine."

Neji scowled as Naruto stuck up his hand.

"We could just shorten yours, Shikamaru. Make it Shika or Shii. With two “ii”'s, so it doesn't mean death or anything. And just give yourself a random surname."

Shikamaru nodded.

"Alright. I'll be Shii Daichi."

"Hnn. We could call Naruto 'Freak'."

"Or we could you 'b*****d'!"

"Sasuke can be Sasu Yamani."

Sasuke frowned.

"Sasu?"

"Yes. And Naruto can be Naru. You can keep your last name."

"So we've got Shii, Sasu and Naru."

Shino pushed his empty plate aside.

"Miyan Murashi?"

"Yeah. That's a good one, Shino."

"May I please have the honor of taking on my beloved Sensei's name? I feel it would allow me to achieve greater things!"

"Gai or Might?"

"Gai!"

"Gai Rock, then?"

"Yes! Thank you! If I can not live up to his name then I shall-"

"Lee, shut up. You're being troublesome."

"Yes, youthful team leader Shika- Uh, Shii!"

"All we need now is a name for Neji."

"Nejio?"

Neji considered putting Naruto through the side of the bus.

"Shut up."

"I was joking!"

"Troublesome... How about Hikaru, and we'll shorten it to 'Karu. 'Karu Hidehiku."

Neji nodded. It wasn't too bad and it would hide his identity even more.

"Neji, you'll still look like a Hyuuga as long as you have your eyes. We'll get contacts for you and you'll have to use something to cover your curse seal."

"Alright."

Neji stood up and took his plate over to the sink, dumping it in before sitting back down.

"It's four thirty now. What should we do, youthful team leader Shii?"

"The driver said we'd be stopping soon. I'm going to look at the music Tsunade's prepared while you can do whatever you feel is necessary."

Naruto and Sasuke quickly dug out Guitar Hero, assemble it and were soon having a serious competition, shouting insults and whamming out chords as Shikamaru and Shino pored over the more technical details of lighting and tech. Lee seemed to be reading a book called “Drum Set Warm-Ups: Build Your Stamina, Control And Agility.” Neji felt decidedly out of place. After a few moments of uncertainty, he started to clean up the left overs from lunch, washing and drying and putting away.

He stood there for a few moments, moving with the bus's motions and wondering how long it would be before anyone started to feel sick. With a quiet groan he decided to go and inspect the hideous garments in his closet and the various items that came with them. He flung open the cupboard and pulled out the first thing that came to hand. A short red and black lacy skirt was thrown to the floor. Following it was an even shorter black leather skirt, a black and white one with frills and yards of lace, a mesh one that looked like it would barely conceal anything, several pink and black striped ones, that light green-blue skirt and what looked like a tutu. None of them were below mid thigh.

Neji sighed and started to yank out the tops. There was a black corset made out of what looked like PVC and cotton, strung with red ribbons and a red cross over his heart, something that seemed to be a mass of black leather strips, a series of mesh tops, tops that started just above his armpit and ended where his stomach began,detachable sleeves, yet more corsets and a thousand ribbons.

Neji was not looking forward to tomorrow. With a mental wince he drew out one of the five dresses and took a good look. It was made out of black velvet, a bodice intricate bows and a triple layered skirt. The zip fastened at the back. Neji would happily burn the thing and forget it ever existed. The four other dresses were basically the same, varying slightly in pattern and colour.

He placed them on top of the pile of clothing and drew out four pairs of huge platform shoes and several stilettos, a carrier bag full of stockings and suspenders, more ribbons, two pairs of plain black pyjamas and a couple of pairs of fingerless, arm length gloves before coming to a largish black box on the floor. He lifted it out and opened it, groaning as he was greeted with hundreds of types of makeup, foundation and nail varnish, contact lenses and everything glittery and girly.

He was never, ever going to live this down.

There was a small booklet with basic application and removal instructions, including how to curl ones eyelashes and how to pluck one's eyebrows. And how to shave your legs and underarms. Neji jumped as Shikamaru walked in.

"... Is this everything in your closet?"

Neji glumly nodded.

"It seems that not only to I have to wear them, but I have to apply makeup and nail varnish, do something pointless to my eyebrows and eyelashes and shave. Oh, I found some contacts too."

Shikamaru's lip twitched.

"How... Troublesome."

Neji scowled and started to shove everything back into his closet.

"You should use the nail varnish tonight. It'll dry before you go to sleep and you won't have to worry about it tomorrow."

Neji scooped out the little bottles of humiliation and placed them beside him as he shoved the rest back. He stood up and with what he hoped was great dignity he walked through, sat down at the table and put the small bottles in front of him. There were bottles of various colors: vivid pink, black, red, sky blue, and even a bottle of the clear stuff.

"What's this, Neji?"

"Nail varnish."

"No way! You gotta do all that stuff too?"

"So it would seem."

"Hnn. Hyuuga Neji and nail varnish is certainly one combination I never thought I'd see."

"Yeah. But we're even luckier than that, Sasuke b*****d! Not only do we get to see Konoha's most secluded and solemn male in nail varnish, we also get to see him full makeup, dresses, skirts and -"

"Naruto. If you do not stop your idiotic warblings I am going to put you through the side of this bus. Painted nails or not."

Sasuke's lip twitched.

"Now shut up and leave me alone."

Neji grabbed the black one and unscrewed the cap, nose wrinkling slightly at the sharp, pear drop smell. A think glob of black goo rolled down the brush and plopped back into the bottle. Neji placed his hand flat on the table and slowly painted a black stripe down the middle of his thumb nail.

"Naruto. Go away."

"But I wanna watch!"

Neji glared at him and dipped the brush back into the bottle, quickly finishing one nail before moving onto the next one.

"Wait, wait!"

Neji paused and looked up at Naruto.

"Paint that one pink!"

"... Why?"

"It'll look better. Black, white, black, white rather than just black. It'll go with whatever you're going to wear, too.”

Neji ran this over in his head before putting the black back and using the white, much to Naruto's delight.

"There. Now what?"

Sasuke looked over.

"Wave your hands around until the polish dries. It'll smudge otherwise."

"Sasuke b*****d, how come you know all this about makeup and hair stuff? Do you use it or something?"

"No. My mother wore it. I used to watch her put it all on."

Sasuke's eyes started to cloud over and narrow.

The extremely awkward moment was lost as Lee jumped up to presumably give a speech, but ended up putting his foot through the tom tom as the bus suddenly swerved, knocking Lee of balance for a split second as he stood on the edge of the drum stool, bringing his leg down to counter gravity as it tried to topple him over.

"OH NO! YOUTHFUL TEAM LEADER SHII! I HAVE ACCIDENTLY BROKEN MY TOMTOM! I SHALL DO THE CLEANING FOR THIS MISSION TO MAKE UP FOR THIS UNFORTUNATE THING-"

"Lee, it's fine. There's a repair kit in the boot."

"I AM SO GLAD THAT THIS PROBLEM CAN BE RESOLVED AND I AM-"

"Lee. Shut up."

"YES YOUNG TEAM LEADER SHII!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes as Lee continued to flail his arms around and jump up and down. Neji weakly waved his arms in front of him, trying not to attract the attention of the other shinobi. This tactic didn't work. Naruto, once again, snorted with laughter and Sasuke's lip twitched. Neji glared and stopped flapping. With a huff of air, he got up and went to return the bottles to the box, ignoring Naruto's sniggering. The bus started to slow down.

"Ah. I think we're stopping now."

Naruto bounced over to a one-way window and peered out.

“Hey! There's a restaurant over there! We must be stopping to eat!”

Shikamaru walked up to the bus driver, calling back for everyone to follow him. Shikamaru got halfway down the steps before freezing and ushering the confused nin back inside.

"We can't go out dressed like this. There'll be some troublesome, money hunting photographer out there ready to snap pictures of a new band on the scene. We can't go out looking like Ninja! We need to get changed."

Neji inwardly groaned. Slowly they trudged back into the bedroom and selected some of the clothes, Neji grabbing a sorry excuse for a top, stockings, shoes and the longest skirt there, the bottle of contact lenses he'd found in the box and a long leather coat. He walked into the bathroom, shut the door and dropped the clothing onto the toilet seat. He glared at it for a second or two before grabbing the top, whisking off his own and wriggling into it. It was black with obvious pink stitching and barely covered his chest, let alone stomach and shoulders. He felt like an idiot.

Neji picked up the skirt, looked at it, put it back down, sighed and picked it up again. He slowly stepped out of trousers and pulled the skirt up. It sat quite low on him, resting just under his belly button. He pulled awkwardly at the many layers of the thing, trying to sort it out before doing up the zip at the side. He felt like he had nothing on. He spent a few more seconds plucking miserably at the ribbons dangling down before picking up what looked like a pair of lacy underwear. After a moment of horrified staring, he realized it was meant to be attached around his waist, and then the suspenders to that.

With an almost audible sigh of relief he clipped the thing around himself and after a minute of struggling had the stockings and suspenders in the right place. Determinedly not looking at himself in the mirror, he sat down and pulled on the two huge sparkling shoes, frowning at the violent shades of purple and black adorning his feet. He stood up, ninja reflexes stopping him from swaying in the gigantic shoes and tied a strip of black cloth around his forehead to hide his curse seal. He walked over to the sink, popped out two green lenses and after a moments confusion managed to slip them into his eyes, successfully hiding the distinctive Hyuuga trait. Unfortunately, everything now had a slight green tint with a small space of true colour right in front of him. With a sigh he draped his coat over his arm and faced the door. This was the bit he was dreading.

"Neji, are you nearly done? I'm hungry!"

"I warn you. When I come out, if any of you so much as snigger the second we get back to Konoha I will gentle fist you to Suna and back."

"Ok, Ok! We won't laugh!"

He could already hear the slight snigger in Naruto's voice and prayed to all the gods that Naruto looked at least a little bit idiotic. Neji took a deep breath and flung open the door, arms crossed. There was a moment of stunned silence and even Shino fumbled a tiny bit with the laptop in his arms. After a moment of unbearable quiet Neji slowly dragged his eyes away from the carpet and stared right back at the five wide eyed shinobi.

Naruto and Sasuke were wearing matching black and red, or in Sasuke's case blue, striped trousers, a tight black T-shirt and baseball shoes. Shikamaru was in a simple mesh top and black, leathery trousers, dangling chains. Lee, predictably, was in green. But it was a dark green long sleeved top with dark grey ripped trousers and bulky trainers which made him look older and less... Spandexy. Shino was all in black and was the most normal looking one among them, albeit the sunglasses. Fate had once again smacked Neji across the face with bad luck.

"Uh..."

Naruto was gaping at him more obviously than anyone else. Sasuke cleared his throat and Shikamaru coughed.

"You, er..."

Neji frowned.

"I look like an idiot. I know."

"No! Well... It's a bit..."

Neji was getting tired of this.

"It's a bit what, Naruto? Sluttish? Stupid? Disgusting?"

"Er..."

"It's a mission. I'm doing what I have to do."

Shikamaru snapped out of his daze.

"Yes. You're right, Neji. It's a mission and we've got to act like Neji dresses like this everyday."

Neji shot the sniggering Sasuke a death glare, eyes narrowing as Sasuke smirked.

"It's quite difficult to be frighted by a man in a dress, 'Karu."

"Leave him alone, Sasu. Imagine if you were in that, b*****d!"

"Naruto is right! We must embrace Neji's new... Uh feminine side and support him to the fullest! As Gai Sensei once said, it is important to support your friends, whatever they do! We must all-"

"Gai, shut up."

"YES YOUTHFUL TEAM LEADER SHII! THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME BY THE NAME OF THE GREAT GAI-SENSEI! I FEEL SO PROUD AND FULL OF ENERGY!"

Neji rolled his eyes.

"Are we getting off this bus now?"

Shikamaru nodded and started to lead everyone of the bus. Neji shivered as the cool air hit his bare skin, unused to being quite so exposed. They trudged up to the small cafe and pushed open the door, setting off the bell. Shikamaru walked over to the bar as one by one the rest trooped in, Neji entering last. He turned around and shut the door with a click before facing the people sitting in the cafe.

Neji flushed slightly as he realized the whole place was staring at him like he had just come in on a space rocket. He lifted his hand and gave them a small wave, resisting the urge to fiddle with his skirt or hair and walked over to stand by Shikamaru, hissing quietly in his ear.

"They're all staring at me."

"Are you surprised?"

Neji huffed.

"No. But..."

Shikamaru looked at him as if to say 'Well there you are then' and sat down in a window seat, beckoning everyone to follow suit.

"Just act normal. Don't cause a scene."

Neji grabbed a menu, intending to subtly hide behind it until the cafe came back to life. He was roused from his inspection by a kick on the shin from a blushing Naruto. He raised an eyebrow as Naruto lent over the table and whispered at him.

"You er, need to close your legs, Ne- 'Karu."

Neji flamed bright red and hastily snapped his legs shut, crossing them on an after thought. How he wished he was back on the bus. Scratch that, he wished he was back in Konoha and none of this had ever happened. He miserably raised the menu again, ignoring Sasuke who was obviously trying not to laugh. Five minutes later a waitress bounced over.

"Hi! My name's Niki! What can I get you?"

"I'll have beef and potatoes with a glass of water, please."

"Green is the colour of youth! I will have the pea soup and vegetables, please!"

"Hn... The same as Shii, please."

"Shii?"

Shikamaru raised a hand and smiled at the woman.

"Ah, I see!"

"Same as Shii. Please."

"Ok. And you, sir?"

"Miso soup, please!"

"Alright. And you miss?"

Neji's eyebrow twitched as Naruto and Sasuke both let out a snort of laugher.

"I'm not a woman. I'd like the same as Shii as well."

The womans smile faltered as she bent in to take a closer look at Neji.

"Gee! You really are a guy! How come you're all dressed like that?"

Shikamaru butted in.

"Ahh, we're in a band. 'Karu's our lead singer and he likes to dress like that. Is there a problem? We can leave if you wish."

The woman shook her head.

"No, no! It's fine! I was just curious, that's all!"

She turned back to Neji.

"Which band are you in? I don't think I've ever seen you before!"

"Attention Deficit Disorder. We're brand new."

She nodded.

"That's a cool name! I wish you guys luck!"

"Thank you."

Niki turned and practically ran back to the kitchens, shouting out their orders as she went.

"You handled that well, 'Karu. If it were Sasu or even me we probably would've snapped at her by now."

Neji knew that Shikamaru was just trying to make him feel better, but he appreciated it all the same. Sasuke and Naruto started up their gentle bickering again, this time arguing over who got first go on that infernal Guitar Hero game that they'd been playing all day. Just as Naruto was about to start raising his voice, Niki bounced over again, balancing a dangerous amount of plates and cutlery on her two skinny arms. She placed the dishes in front of them before turning to Neji and looking around furtively as if to see if anyone other than them were listening.

"Say, can I ask you a question? It's kinda personal."

Neji looked over at Shikamaru who shrugged and nodded.

"... Sure."

She dropped her voice into a whisper.

"Are you... Gay?"

Neji froze.

"Am I what?!"

"Gay! You know, do you like guys? Is that why you dress like that?"

Neji could feel his face flaming red as he started to splutter.

"What?! No! I'm not gay!"

"Maah, no, he's not. Don't worry."

After a few moments Shikamaru managed to assure the disbelieving woman about Neji's sexuality and get her to go away, looking slightly disappointed. Sasuke's lip was twitching almost spasmodically as Naruto shook with repressed laughter.

"It is not funny. This situation is not funny."

"Says the man in a dress."

Neji slowly counted to ten, controlling his urge to smash Naruto around the cafe until either he or the walls of this place broke.

"Naru, don't be troublesome. Leave 'Karu alone and eat."

Neji fixed Naruto with a basilisk glare until the blond mumbled an apology to him. Ten minutes later and full of hot food Neji started to relax a little in the warmth of the cafe.

"That was really good! This is one of the easiest missions I've ever had!"

Shikamaru shot Naruto a warning look.

"Don't count your chickens before they're hatched. This could turn out to be very tricky."

Neji nodded and absentmindedly flicked some of his hair over his shoulder.

"We still don't know anything about them."

Shino looked up.

"Do we know how many missing nin are in Mist?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"There could be any number. From three to thirteen, or more."

"Then we've got to be extra alert!"

"Well duh, freak."

"Shut up Sasu b*****d!"

"I would if you stopped spewing crap out of your over sized mouth."

"What the hell do you-"

"Naru. Sasu. Shut up. You're being annoying."

"Hnn."

"All done?"

Niki was back. She whisked the empty plates from under their noses and scampered off to the kitchens, returning a minute later to ask if they wanted any desert.

"No thank you. Can we have the bill please?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Shii. Say, can I have your autographs?"

Shikamaru nodded.

"And a picture?"

Neji prayed Shikamaru would say no.

"Sure, I guess... It'll be good publicity."

"Gee, thanks!"

Niki skipped off, bringing back the bill, a small notebook and a digital camera. Shikamaru signed the notebook, passing it around to everyone. Shino looked up.

"I'm only the technician."

"I don't care! I want yours too!"

Shino slowly signed his fake name and passed it on to Neji who hastily scrawled down Hikaru Hidehiku before handing it back to the grinning waitress.

"Can you guys like, all stand up? I want to be able to see all of you!"

They slowly climbed to their feet and stood in a sort of semi circle. Niki bellowed something they couldn't hear properly and another waitress bustled out of the kitchens.

"Hold the camera for us, Jani?"

"Sure thing. Say cheese!"

Neji tried to smile like all the other pictures of people in bands. He honestly, truly did but he had had a very trying day, his contacts were making his eyes itch and it felt like his skirt had ridden up and it was probably exposing his backside to the world and he couldn't re-arrange it without it looking funny. Not to mention the fact that he had that goddamn girl attached around his waist in a sort of hug. Finally the camera flashed and the girl let go.

"I'm going back to the bus. I'll pay my share when you get back."

Shikamaru nodded in Neji's direction.

"Bye bye Mr. Hikaru! Good luck with your band!"

"Thank you. Good bye."

And good riddance. He pushed open the door, ignoring the snap and flash of a camera as someone inside took another photo of him and started to walk back towards the bus. The cool air helped to clear his head and completely calm him down as he walked up the steps and entered the bus. Kicking of his shoes, he went through to the bedroom, grabbed his pyjamas and quickly changing into them. The relief of being out of those... Things was tremendous. He stretched and sat down on one of the sofas, closing his eyes and sitting cross legged on the cushion, quickly sinking into meditation.

A loud crash jarred him out of his thoughts as Lee who was trying to sneak past him managed to smash his hand off the crash cymbal.

"I AM SORRY THAT I HAVE DISTURBED YOUR MEDITATION, MY ETERNAL RIVAL-"

"Where are the others?"

Lee paused.

"Oh, they're just coming. Now, as I was saying-"

"No, Lee, it's alright."

Lee sighed dejectedly and went into the bedroom, emerging a second later in green pyjamas as the rest of the group walked through the door.

"How much do I owe?"

"Nothing. Konoha's paid for all our food and shelter."

Neji nodded, waiting for everyone to get changed and come back through. Shino had donned his over coat again, but was in light grey pyjama bottoms, followed by Naruto in orange, Sasuke in dark blue and Shikamaru in brown.

Shikamaru tugged at one of his earrings.

"I know it's early, but I think we should all try to get some sleep. It's been quite a stressful and hard day-"

Not to mention humiliating and traumatizing, thought Neji.

"And I think sleep would do us good. Agreed?"

Naruto nodded and got up, Sasuke and Lee following suit as Shino put down his laptop and started turning out the lights. Neji sighed and slowly rose to his feet, walking into the bedroom and throwing a glare at the tiny bed before climbing in the left hand side, trying to take up as little space as possible. He could hear Naruto sniggering from his bunk in the corner.

"Troublesome..."

The bed dipped a little under Shikamaru's weight as he climbed in. Neji knew that Shikamaru was lying as far away as possible, but he could still feel the man's presence uncomfortably close to his own, sure that there was only an inch or two between them. He shifted slightly, tensing up as his elbow brushed Shikamaru.

"... Troublesome..."

Neji sighed. It was troublesome indeed.





A/N Another very long chapter for you XD! Please read and review! Point out my mistakes! Anything! Just something to let me know you've read it! Thank you!

-Sophie.

I changed it and fixed the He stood xd !

I'm glad you like Lee! I love him too <3 biggrin I'm also happy you like their interactions!

With the crying, it wasn't really proper crying because he wasn't doing it conciously. It's like, if you're faced with death and destruction and s**t all the time there's got to be an outlet for it, and violence isn't great all the time, so I figured if he was singing something emotional and this triggered something in him it would produce a crying effect to get rid of some emotions xd I have my reasons! It's better explained in Chapter 3 xd

Lmao! Don't worry about it xd ! I fixed it in the fic <3

rofl I wouldn't worry about it, hun <3 Thank you for bothering to correct it in the first place!

A/N Third chapter is here! A few things before I go on: I've been having exams. Important ones D: So my updating was annoying slow! As in I didn't... I'm sorry! But now it's after the exams I have the whole summer to write.

But I owe you all an apology for taking so long. I was dragged to Italy for two weeks and was unable to update, and I've spent most of today reading the new Harry Potter. Goddamn. I'm so sad the series is finished.

Once again, please be patient! And review! I love them! Oh, just to warn you again, ShikaNeji is my favorite pairing. I wouldn't write anything dirty or anything, but there may be uh... Implications? Just read to find out XD It's not like anything obvious. It's really slight XD. I'm also working on the basis that both Lee and Neji's parents are dead.

Oh, yeah. Songs used in this chapter, Hate Mail by Me, AttentionDeficitDisorder! And I'll Lie For The Sake Of It by Me as well biggrin ! Molly Malone by Anonymous. My mom used to sing it to me, but I know she didn't make it up XD. Danny Boy by Anonymous.

Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed. It makes my day :3




The first thing a shinobi is taught when he or she is preparing for field missions is that you should always sleep with the proverbial 'One Eye Open'. To always sleep so lightly one can wake up in an instant and be ready to fight in under a second. When on a mission, Neji had never fallen deeply asleep. It just didn't happen. He was far too good for that.

Which was why he woke with a jolt and confused flurry of flailing limbs as Shikamaru shoved him out of his comfortable sleep and sent him crashing onto the floor, instead of leaping out himself and avoiding the attack. There was three seconds of strained silence before Neji climbed to feet and set his coldest, deadliest, I-Am-Going-To-Eat-Your-Children-With-Barbecue-Sauce glare on Shikamaru, who was sitting cross legged on his side of the bed.

“Why did you shove me out?”

Neji ignored Naruto's sniggering and continued to glare at Shikamaru, who tugged at his earring before replying.

“How troublesome... I fell into a deep sleep, as did you from the looks of things. You must've rolled on me or very near me in the night and I only noticed when the bus went over a bump, causing your arm to fly out around me. I woke and thought it was an attack. I didn't mean to push you so hard.”

Naruto sounded like he was having a fit as Neji flushed slightly.

“Ah... It was not an intentional attack. I apologize.”

Shikamaru nodded.

“I apologize for shoving you so hard.”

Neji turned to Naruto, fixing his glare on the spasming blonde.

“Is there a joke you wish to share with us, Naruto?”

Naruto shook his head, biting his lip to keep the laughter in.

“Good. Then do us all a favor and stop choking on your lack of intellect.”

Neji strode over to his closet and yanked it open.

“Hn. Going to wear a dress today?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.”

He reached in and pulled out the first dress that came to hand, quickly snatching up tights, the hair brush and after a few seconds deliberation, a pair of stilettos. Ignoring the still sniggering Naruto, Neji turned and calmly walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

After a moment or two of trying to work out how to get the damned thing on, he figured that if he slipped it over his head and took it from there, it would all work out.

Fortunately, it did. After a moment of wriggling around, he had managed to get it on the way it was supposed to go and the many skirts were all arranged and not sticking up. There was a cord around his middle that he had to tie, then zip up the side and then the back. Neji sighed. These things were such a fuss to wear. He tied the cord and zipped it up, feeling the material pulling at him and making it slightly more difficult to breathe. Doing up the zip at the back, he realized that it was going to be harder than he thought to sing in a corset. He quickly pulled on the tights and stilettos and ran the brush through his still straight hair before opening the door and stalking out, shooting a quick warning glare at Naruto as he sat down on the sofa, crossing his legs.

Shikamaru sat down next to Neji, put his arms behind his head and looked at Naruto.

“Go and get dressed. We need to discuss the interview tomorrow and other troublesome things.”

Ten minutes later everyone was sitting on the sofas, dressed and listening intently. Shino pulled out a note book, flipped to a new page and got ready to take notes, raising an eyebrow as Lee enthusiastically did the same.

“This interview tomorrow. We obviously are going in full costume and make up and whatever else you have to do.”

Naruto grinned.

“Does that mean Neji has to shave his legs today?”

Neji froze for a second.

“Yes. Now, this magazine is kind of sleazy so I don't know what sort of questions we'll get asked, but I doubt they want our childhood memories. Sexuality will probably be top of their minds, especially when they see Neji.”

Neji sighed and slumped down a little. Could this day actually get any worse? Shikamaru turned to Neji.

“I've thought this through, and we have two options. You either say you don't want to answer that question, in which case they'll assume you're gay and shy, or you can pretend to be gay.”

Apparently, it could get worse.

“No.”

“Naruto, stop laughing. You're being irritating. It's not that amusing.”

“I refuse to be gay.”

“Hn. They're going to think that anyway.”

Shikamaru nodded.

“Sasuke's got a point. You might as well. It's only for a few weeks.”

Neji's eyes were slits.

“I refuse.”

“Neji, it's a mission. You have to do what's needed.”

“I know exactly what is needed to do in a mission. Pretending to be gay is not necessary,” Neji hissed.

“You've already got to do all these other embarrassing things! What's a little gayness going to do, huh? You already look gay enough, and we know you're straight really!”

Neji death glared Naruto.

“You don't even have to do anything with another guy! No-one in Konoha will know!”
Shikamaru sat back and looked at Neji.

“I think it would be in the mission's best interest. You'll cause a sensation and the sooner we can get those nin to attack us the sooner we can stop this.”

Neji covered his eyes with his hand.

“Fine. Fine. But after this the whole thing is forgotten. Everything.”

“Yeah, yeah!”

Shikamaru smiled.

“Now, they'll probably ask you what experience you've had with guys. Just make something up. And don't attack them, no matter what they ask. There'll be questions on how we started, why we write music, why Neji dresses like he does, are we Gothic or Emo or some other genre... And where we got inspiration for our lyrics. If we're lucky, they'll do a quick photo shoot.”

“I trust no-one in Konoha reads this magazine?”

Shikamaru shook his head.

“Not that I know of.”

“What's the magazine called, Shikamaru?”

“Novel Now.”

“What kind of a name is that!? It sounds seriously dull! Who's going to read that?”

Shikamaru's lip twitched.

“True, it's got a crap name but they've got a record for finding new bands with real potential. Remember Suna Rats? They found them. And Misti, Shatter, Black Kunai, Blood and Jujitsu. Those are just the world known ones. If they think we've got it, we've got it made.”

Neji looked up.

“Have they ever turned down a successful band?”

“Nope.”

Neji slumped back down again.

“This is like The Lotus!”

Everyone turned to Lee.

“It's double bladed! If we get this, then we'll find the nin in no time! But if we don't ,chances are it'll take ages! A double bladed chance! I feel so re-energized! We must train to the high - “

“Lee. Shut up. You're being troublesome.”

Naruto patted the drooping Lee on the shoulder.

“Now. Shino's printed off two songs of ours, and I suggest we spend this morning learning them. Here.”

Shikamaru handed out the various sheets of music. Neji raised an eyebrow.

“Hate Mail and I'll Lie For The Sake Of It. These certainly fit the genre.”

Naruto laughed as Shikamaru rose to his feet.

“We'll start with Hate Mail. Alright?”

Sasuke smirked as Naruto ran to grab his guitar, throwing the bass at his rival.

“I'll learn this faster than you, b*****d!”

Sasuke scoffed and started to pick out the bass line of his music. Lee sat at his drums, Naruto whacked out chords and Shikamaru started to play through the keyboard parts as Neji scanned the lyrics, humming the tune to himself. Ten minutes later Shikamaru stood up.

“Have we all memorized the music and lyrics? Good. Count of three, then. One, two, three!”

Naruto started to wham out a dark and heavy chord, strumming fast to produce a chanting like sound as Sasuke picked out a flowing but slow bass line. Neji glanced down and breathed in, waiting for Lee to start before he began to sing. A second later Lee thumped down on the bass and began a fast, driving rhythm with the snare and hi-hat.

“Your name is scribbled on the bathroom walls
With 'f*****t' and 'Whore' and everything more
As you delete the texts and death threat calls
Alone and afraid you sit on the floor.”

The words seemed to grate along his throat as he spat them into the air, feeling the desperation and the loneliness the song spun course through him.

“More notes promising pain in your locker
Detailed accounts of how you're gonna die
Girls whispering and guys yelling '******** creeping down the hallway you start to cry.”

He was whispering with the girls and shouting with the boys, real emotion pouring through him as his voice joined with the keyboard and danced and twirled with the synthetic sharps and flats Shikamaru coaxed from his instrument.

“Different is so far from the normal
And you don't categorize at all.
You're a freak and despised, but to me
You're exactly the way I want you to be.”

Sasuke's fingers were a blur as they plucked and pulled at the heavy strings, matching the speed of Naruto's yanking at the lighter strings of his guitar. With a sudden twist of chord, Neji was singing in the major key. Still the words were heart breaking, but as his voice climbed the scales it took on a lighter air before plunging down into minor again as Lee crashed down on his cymbals.

“Dreading break when teachers push you outside,
Fear fogging your brain as they hiss and spit.
You're running, like innocence from a bride
Until you're caught and scratched and kicked and hit.”

The corset was squeezing the air from Neji's lungs, he felt light headed and dizzy as Naruto tore a spinning riff from his guitar, Lee following with a short drum solo while Neji tried to get more air into his lungs.

“Bruises on bruises and blood's flowing free
The teachers'll blank this until you faint
Childcare wasn't part of their degree.
But that's fine. You'll cover scars with white paint.”

His voice had taken on a slightly manic edge as he hissed the last part, Shikamaru crashing down on chords and quick, staccato rhythms.

“Different is so far from the normal
And you don't categorize at all.
You're a freak and despised, but to me
You're exactly the way I want you to be.”

Once again he was thrust into the major key as Naruto and Sasuke's fingers blurred over their strings, drawing out haunting, whining chords that jarred you on the inside as Lee smashed down on the crash cymbal, echoing the beating of Neji's heart.

“So come on, guys. Wear a dress to your school
And come on girls. Let's go tell them it's cool.
So come on, guys. Let's all open our minds
And come on, girls. Let's accept every kind!”

Naruto and Sasuke were panting slightly and they pulled out notes and chords, matching Neji's voice, full of defiance and passion as the music rang around the bus, vibrating through their bodies as Neji reached a screaming crescendo, Lee punctuating every word with a crack on the snare.

“Different is so far from the normal
And you don't categorize at all.
You're a freak and despised, but to me
You're exactly the way I want you to be.”

Neji's voice died away to a whisper as Shikamaru softly played the last chord, the whining of the guitar and the moaning of the bass fading away with the final crash on the cymbal as silence enveloped the bus. Neji's eyes slid open and we quickly took in his team mate's appearances.

Shikamaru was grinning and leaning against his keyboard as Naruto and Sasuke collapsed onto the sofas, breathing a little labored while Lee bounced up and down on his drum stool. Neji turned to Shino, also out slightly of breath.

“How was it?”

“Good. Very good. Professional.”

Shikamaru grinned and stretched, getting up and clapping Neji on the back.

“You know, if anything troublesome happened to you on a mission and you couldn't do them anymore, you should turn to singing.”

Neji flushed slightly and laughed.

“I'll think about it.”

Shikamaru wandered over to Lee, Naruto and Sasuke, congratulating them all on their performances before turning and addressing everyone.

“Were there any problems?”

Neji thought back, raising his hand slightly as he remembered something.

“I found it harder to breathe. It was the corset.”

Shikamaru nodded.

“I guess you'll just have to keep practicing until it gets easier for you. Anything else?”

Shino readjusted his glasses and picked up his notebook.

“I made a few notes. One, Neji didn't move much and he had his eyes closed. Two, Naruto had his back turned. Three, Sasuke was glaring at Naruto. Four, Lee broke a drumstick. That is all.”

Lee flushed red and grinned sheepishly.

“I, er, grabbed another one before I missed a beat...”

Shikamaru shook his head.

“It's fine, I don't think the audience would notice, but try not to break anymore of your sticks. We only have fifty pairs, remember?”

“Yes youthful team leader Shii! I will do my best! If I continue to break these sticks I will fashion my own out of-”

“Lee. Troublesome.”

“Yes youthful team leader Shii!”

Shikamaru smiled at Lee and turned to Naruto and Sasuke who were still sitting on the couch.

“Naruto, try to remember there's going to be an audience. You can't turn your back. Sasuke, don't glare at Naruto for what ever reason. It looks weird, alright?”

Naruto and Sasuke nodded, glowering faintly at each other.

“Neji, can you sing with your eyes open?”

Neji suppressed a jump at being suddenly addressed, and faced Shikamaru.

“I don't know. I've never been aware of closing them.”

“Hmmn... We'll try after lunch. Neji and I will cook today.”

“Hn. Do we have more food?”

“Yes. The driver brought us some when he stopped to sleep.”

Naruto laughed.

“I didn't know the bus had stopped in the night!”

“I think we were all too fast asleep to notice.”

“What if someone had attacked us?”

Shikamaru smirked.

“I set a few traps based on strange chakra. But Lee would've attacked them anyway. I placed him right by the door so if anyone came in, they'd go for him first and he'd knock them out, asleep or not.”

Lee grinned and punched the air.

“I am so happy that I can be useful! Thank you for this opportunity!”

Shikamaru waved his hand dismissively.

“Don't mention it. Let's get going, Neji.”

Neji nodded and went to the cupboards and fridge, opening them and withdrawing what was in them.

“We have white bread and brown bread, butter, ham, cheese, mayonnaise, various vegetables and fruits, Konoha cola, pocky... We've got a lot now.”

“Good. Any suggestions what we should make?”

Neji nodded and grabbed the white bread, giving the brown loaf to Shikamaru.

“Slice this and make ham and cheese sandwiches.”

Shikamaru took the bread and went to the counter. Neji quickly diced the other loaf, doused it in some olive oil he'd found and walked over to Sasuke.

“I need you to perform one of your fire techniques. Can you toast this?”

Sasuke nodded and quickly performed the hand signals.

“Katun! Goukaryuu no jutsu!”

A small flame engulfed the bread and then withdrew, leaving it perfectly toasted.

“Thank you.”

“Hn.”

Neji collected the squares of toasted bread and placed them into a bowl before preparing a salad and adding the bread, grabbing the plate of sandwiches and placing them next to the salad. Shikamaru plonked down the bottle of Kola and some glasses before adding a plate of salami and what looked like a bowl of crayfish.

“Lunch is ready.”

“Hey, this is the same stuff we had yesterday! Why can't we have some ramen?”

“Because it's not healthy, dumb a**.”

“Shut up, b*****d! It tastes good!”

“So does sugar, but that's not good for you, idiot.”

“What the hell? What's that got to-”

“Shut up. Both of you. You're being unbelievably troublesome.”

Neji sighed and grabbed a plate, helping himself and sitting down on the couch and waiting for everyone else to join before starting to eat.

“So what are we doing after lunch again?”

“We're going to run through I'll Lie For The Sake Of It, and then whatever until the interview tomorrow.”

“Hn. Does the magazine not want to hear us perform?”

“Yes.”

Neji felt his heart skip a beat at the thought of performing in front of people he didn't know dressed like a female whore.

“What!? You never told us that, Shikamaru!” Cried Naruto.

“They only want us to play two songs.”

“This is so challenging! I can hardly wait! We must fully prepare ourselves and be in the best of youthful health! Let us start now, team leader Shii!”

“We'll finish lunch, then practice.”

“Yes!”

Lunch was eaten and tidied away without any further disturbances before Shino picked up his notebook and proceeded to make notes on their performance of I'll Lie For The Sake Of It.

“Good. Neji's eyes were still closed and you still didn't move. Lee broke another stick. Naruto still turned around.”

Shikamaru sighed and switched off his keyboard.

“Lee, try not to break the sticks. If someone takes a photo at the wrong minute, there'll be a lot of awkward questions. Naruto, when you riff try to spin three sixty, not one eighty. Neji, we'll do some work on you now.”

Neji nodded and went to stand by Shikamaru.

“Go and stand in front the TV.”

Neji walked over and stood where he was told, crossing his arms as everyone joined Shikamaru on the sofa.

“Ok, Neji. Sing something and make sure you keep your eyes open. Just a short one.”

Neji wracked his brain for something to sing. Finally, he remembered something that he often heard his father softly sing after the death of his mother. Neji took a few breaths, making sure he knew all the words and melodies.

“In Dublin's fair city where the girls are so pretty,
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone.

As she pushed her wheelbarrow
Through streets broad and narrow,

Crying Cockles and mussels,
Alive, alive – o.”

Neji was fighting to keep his eyes open as he reached the chorus. His vision was fuzzing over and he desperately wanted to close his eyes, just for a second.

“Alive, alive – o ho,
Alive, alive – o ho,

Crying 'Cockles and mussels.
Alive, alive – o.”

He was shocked at how high his voice could go and how comfortably it went there, spinning up and down the scales with ease.

“Now she was a fishmonger
And sure 'twas no wonder

For so were her mother and father-”

“Neji! You've closed them!”

Neji stopped singing instantly at Naruto's shout, groaning in annoyance as he realized his eyes had indeed slid shut again. Shikamaru sighed.

“Try again. Except, this time try to focus your eyes on something.”

“Hn. What's he going to focus on? There's nothing except us.”

“Troublesome... Alright, Neji. Keep your eyes fixed on mine.”

For some reason, Neji suddenly felt a bit nervous.

“Alright.”

Neji took a few more breaths and fixed his pale eyes on Shikamaru's onyx black ones.

“Sing a different one this time Neji!”

Neji nodded vaguely in response to Naruto and tried to think of another song. Sasuke suddenly sat up.

“Do you know Danny Boy?”

Neji blinked.

“Danny Boy?”

“It's Irish too. It goes something like... Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling-”

Something clicked in Neji's brain.

“Ah. Yes, I think I know that one.”

“Sing it.”

It was an order, not a request. Normally Neji would've refused but there was something in Sasuke's eyes that made him agree. Neji sighed and fixed his eyes on Shikamaru's again, recalling the lyrics.

“Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountainside.
The summer's gone and all the flowers are dying,
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.”

The haunting, lilting melody was pouring from Neji as he stared into Shikamaru's eyes feeling as though the blackness of them was going to swallow him whole as he fell into them.

“But ye come back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow.
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow.
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.”

Neji's eyes were watering with the effort of keeping them open. His vision was blurring and shifting in an out of focus as he sang, words flowing from a memory long forgotten of a woman with long hair singing to him as he fell asleep. Shikamaru's eyes were two shining orbs in the fuzz of everything else.

“And if you come when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I may well be.
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an 'Ave' there for me.”

Neji could feel tears start to drip down his cheeks, but he didn't care. He couldn't stop them and he certainly couldn't stop singing, the words forming images of him at six years old kneeling by his father and mother's graves, staring at the bunch of wilting lilies. Images of the faces of the men and women he had killed and their loved ones at home. Images of his own team mates lying dead and bleeding into the earth. Shikamaru's eyes were the only thing holding him down to reality and even they seemed to be swimming with tears.

“And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be,
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.”

Neji couldn't look away. It was as if he was trapped inside a vortex.

“I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me...”

There was a moment or two of pure silence before Sasuke quickly got to his feet and practically ran into the bedroom. As if a spell had been broken, Neji hurried wiped his eyes and cheeks, feeling slightly relieved that he wasn't the only one who seemed to have shed a few tears.

“Well... Uh... I'm going to see if Sasuke b*****d's alright.”

Naruto jumped up and followed Sasuke, leaving Lee, Shino and Shikamaru sitting on the sofa. Shikamaru got up.

“How... That was very good. Excellent.”

There was another moment of awkward silence before Shikamaru let out a shaky laugh.

“We're supposed to be tough, emotionless shinobi. Yet here we are crying like girls... Though I realize that this shouldn't be so odd.”

Neji cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, when a human gets sad they have their own ways of dealing with it and crying is the most natural. Shinobi are trained not to get emotional. It's not surprising that a song about death is going to affect people, especially when it's sung to a very high degree with a lot of emotion. In fact, it's completely normal.”

Neji nodded, feeling slightly relieved as Shikamaru wiped his eyes.

“And when you have someone staring into your eyes and singing that, it's as if you were talking to me especially. It should've been more surprising if I hadn't cried.”

Neji nodded again, this time feeling a little flustered. He certainly hadn't meant to cry himself, much less make Shikamaru and from the looks of it upset Sasuke and Naruto too. He hoped that they wouldn't hold a grudge against him for that. Lee jumped up, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. In Neji's mind, Lee didn't count as he and Gai always burst into tears over anything that caught their attention.

“Neji! My eternal rival! I had no idea that you were such a genius in all aspects! By these young, manly tears coursing down my cheeks, I swear-”

“Lee. Shut up. Troublesome.”

“Yes! Youthful team leader Shii!”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and checked his watch.

“It's six now. I think that we need to get as ready as we can for the interview tomorrow and as much sleep as possible.”

“I agree. I'm going to go check on Sasuke and Naruto.”

“Alright.”

Neji walked through to the bedroom, sticking his head round the door before entering. Sasuke was sitting cross legged on his bed and Naruto was on the floor. For once there seemed to be no arguing.

“Sasuke...”

Neji realized he didn't know what to say to him.

“Hn. It's fine. It was a song my mother used to sing. It was stupid of me to ask you to sing it.”

Naruto scratched the back of his head.

“You're lucky, Sasuke b*****d. At least you had a mother to sing to you.”

Sasuke looked at Naruto.

“Lucky? You never had anyone ripped from you.”

Naruto pouted.

“I have.”

“Who?”

“You. When you left for Sound.”

Neji felt extremely awkward.

“And Shikamaru lost Asuma, Neji's lost his parents and so has Lee. We've all lost special people, Sasuke! You're not the only one!”

Why had he come in here again?

“I never said I was the only one!”

“Well stop acting like it, b*****d!”

“I'm not acting like anything, freak!”

“Yes you are! You're acting like a child, you b*****d!”

“I am not, you dumb a**!”

“Yes you are! Neji made everyone except Shino cry! Hell, Neji was crying himself! It's nothing to go all weird over!”

Neji slowly turned around and walked out the door again, flopping down onto the sofa next to Shikamaru.

“Are they alive?”

“Yes. They're fighting again.”

“How troublesome. They're like a married couple. Nag, nag, nag all the time, huh?”

Neji let out a small laugh. Shino was once again typing at his laptop and Lee appeared to be doing press ups on one finger with a sofa and a table on his back, the screws that were keeping them down balanced on his head. Shikamaru pointed at Lee.

“Does he always do that?”

“Yes.”

“I see.”

Neji sighed.

“What's Shino doing?”

“He's setting up a website for us.”

“A what?”

“A website. So our 'fans' have something to obsess over, and so the nin have something to plan their attacks from.”

“Ah.”

There was a moment of quiet.

“Doesn't that mean there'll be pictures of us up there?”

“Yes. And our music, tour dates and our ticket seller.”

Neji groaned.

“Will anyone in Kono-”

“No.”

“Good.”

Sasuke and Naruto emerged from the bedroom ten minutes later, Sasuke glowering slightly and Naruto looking like he'd just won an argument. Actually, Naruto probably had won their argument for once. They plopped down on the other sofa, trying not to stare at Lee who was on his two thousandth and twenty ninth press up and had added the TV to his load.

“This is troublesome, but I think we should all wear nail polish. To lessen Neji's isolation as the 'Odd one' and to build group strength. I know it's only a little thing, but it's like wearing a uniform. Hopefully, it'll bring us all together a bit more.”

Naruto groaned as Neji smirked on the inside.

“But... We don't all have to shave and stuff do we? It's still only Neji, right?”

Neji glared at Naruto.

“No. Neji's the only one who has to do that. But you can if you wish, Naruto.”

Naruto wrinkled up his nose and scowled. Neji got to his feet and went into the bedroom, deciding that as he wasn't sure how to shave he'd better get a move on and figure it out. He grabbed the small bag and returned to the sitting area.

“... How do I do this?”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“Hn. There are no instructions?”

“Not that I can find.”

“Let me see.”

Neji threw Shikamaru the bag. He drew out a razor, an aerosol tin of something and a roll of plasters.

“Well... I've seen my dad shaving his beard, so it's probably just the same thing.”

“How did your dad shave?”

Shikamaru stood up and walked over to the sink, filling it up with warm water.

“You're going to have to remove your tights.”

Neji flushed slightly, cursing Shikamaru's bluntness. He stalked into the bedroom again and emerged a second later, shoe and tight less, with a pair of shorts on and a top. He walked over to Shikamaru.

“What now?”

Shikamaru tugged at his earring, handing over the can.

“Squirt a little of this onto your hand and then put it on your leg.”

“... What does it do?”

“It makes it easier, apparently.”

“I see.”

Refusing to acknowledge Naruto's giggles, Neji put his leg up on the table, squirted a little of the foam onto his hand and smeared it on his leg, raising an eyebrow as it seemed to grow, covering three quarters of his leg and upper thigh with one tiny handful. He covered the front of his leg and looked at Shikamaru.

“And now?”

Shikamaru handed over the razor.

“Just, er, drag it down your skin.”

Neji gave Shikamaru a disbelieving stare before sighing and taking the razor, positioning it just below his knee and dragging it half way down, inspecting the strip of pale, bare skin.

“Rinse the razor and do it again. That's all there is to it.”

Neji nodded at Shikamaru, rinsed the razor and finished the strip, running his finger down the smooth bit and frowning at the strange feeling. He mentally shrugged, putting it down to just another thing he'd have to get used to and quickly finished the rest of his leg, all the way up to the shorts. He ran his hand up and down, making sure he hadn't missed a spot before hoisting his other leg up and doing the same. He wrinkled his nose at the state of the water and rinsed out the sink, washing the razor and hurriedly shaving under his arms as well.

“There.”

Neji smirked, pleased to see what he expected to take years only took ten minutes. He packed up the small kit, re-rinsed the sink and deposited the little bag into his closet. He sat down, crossing his legs and once again frowning that the strange feeling of completely smooth skin. He looked over to Shikamaru.

“How long is the interval between when your father next needs to shave?”

Shikamaru tugged at his earring.

“Only a few days.”

Neji sighed. Then, an idea hit him. He put his hands together and collected his chakra, sending it down his body and depositing minuet amounts into the hair follicles, effectively stopping any hair growth. He looked down with satisfaction.

“You know, you should tell the girls about that, if they haven't already figured it out.”

Neji scoffed at Naruto.

“Yes, and then they would ask me how I knew this and then that would lead to awkward and embarrassing situations which I can easily avoid by waiting for them to work it out for themselves.”

Naruto pouted and crossed his arms as Lee looked from one team mate to the other, a hopeful grin on his face.

“What are we going to do now, youthful team leader Shii?”

Shikamaru looked at his watch and gently bit his lower lip.

“It's six twenty seven now, we're stopping at a big shopping center at six thirty-”

He was briefly interrupted by Naruto shouting that he didn't know about this before being whacked on the back of the head by Sasuke, effectively shutting him up.

“... We've got two and a half hours until nine. By then, we need to get moving... I think we should run through Hate Mail once more, see if we're still going wrong and then go to bed.”

Neji raised an eyebrow.

“A big shopping center? Which one?”

“It's called The Fire Mall, and we're going there to pick up some personal items each, a phone, a radio and some pens and stuff. If we get famous, we'll need to sign autographs and photos and such.”

Neji sighed and got up. He walked into the bedroom and grabbed his clothes, shoving them back on as quickly as possible, just as the bus started to slow down. Naruto jumped up and peered out the window, eyes widening dramatically as he took in the awesome sight of the Fire Mall.

“We should try to stay together as much as possible.”

Lee nodded enthusiastically as Neji came out of the bedroom, Shikamaru leading the group off the bus and onto the black bitumen. A rouge wind ruffled Neji's dress, making him clutch at it in an attempt to keep it down.

“We don't have any money on us.”

Shikamaru pulled out a small, black wallet and handed everyone a $100 bill.

“Spend it on your character.”

“Alright! Money!”

Naruto was jumping around and waving it at everyone, oblivious to the fact that all of them had the same amount as him.

“Let's go.”

They trooped into the mall, Neji squinting slightly in the bright artificial light, contacts itching. They quickly located and memorized a map of the premises, and decided to head to a mobile phone shop near them. Shikamaru quickly chose a black flip up phone, registered it and topped it up, explaining that they needed some way for producers and the like to contact them.

Lee dashed away and reappeared with a radio, removing a few of the more essential items from their mental lists. They made their way to a stationary shop, Neji determinately ignoring the stares, whispering and catcalls that heralded his arrival as they walked past group after group of people. Finally the shop came into sight, was entered and various items bought from it.

“What now? We've got all the important stuff, and I still have loads! More than I had when Pervert Hermit took me training!”

There was a moment of unsureness before Shikamaru suggested that they just wondered around and went into any shops that rock stars went into or suited their personalities. Neji assumed that going into a weapon department would not be within Hikaru Hidehiku's character, but he wasn't terribly sure what shops he should be visiting. Shikamaru seemed to sense his dilemma, and waited until Lee and Naruto had bounded ahead, followed more sedately by Shino and Sasuke before coming over.

“Do you have any idea what sort of character you should take on?”

Neji shook his head.

“I need one I can keep up. I suppose I'll have to act more... Camp.”

“Only in the way you walk and talk. I don't think that many other men in dresses stride, Karu.”

Neji slowed down.

“I stride?”

Shikamaru did a short imitation. Neji could see that that was making him look ridiculous, unless he was stuffed full of weapons, had his Byakugen active and was on a mission. 'Striding' around in stilettos and a dress was clearly very strange looking.

“Oh.”

Neji was faced with a new problem. How should he now walk? Had he ever seen a man in a dress before? Had he ever seen anyone wearing clothing like himself? He had no grounds to work on.

“Well... You could walk like a girl, or a camp man.”

To anyone else Shikamaru would seem like some sort of mind reader, but Neji knew he was just deducting his thoughts and ending up with the most probable.

“... How do girls and camp men walk?”

Neji had never paid attention to the walk of a girl. He knew it was different, but how, he wasn't sure. He'd never really watched a camp man walking either. An extended cousin somewhere in his family had been gay, and obviously camp, but he had only seen him at his banishment and wasn't sure how he walked either.

“Well... They swing their hips... And they walk in quite a narrow line. A bit like this.”

Shikamaru placed his foot close to the other one, swinging his hips with each step. He stopped after three.

“See?”

Neji dumbly nodded. For a brief second he thought about throwing himself under the wheels of the tour bus, but he's really rather not die looking like this. He banished the image of how he would look, buried the humiliation and tried to walk like a woman. Once his hips had become accustomed to the unusual amount of movement, he found a good tempo and stuck to it, placing his feet as delicately as possible and resisting the urge to just leave and never return.

“Well, well. We seem to have a few followers.”

Neji had been so preoccupied with the new walking technique he'd let his guard slip and had failed to notice the two groups of civilians trying to subtly follow them. One seemed to be a pack of five sixteen or seventeen year old girls, who were whispering and giggling among themselves and eying Neji up and down. They seemed harmless. The other group consisted of three rough looking boys, around sixteen who were giving off a hostile air. It was obvious they didn't approve of Neji's attire.

“Hmmn.”

Sasuke, Naruto and the rest were nowhere to be seen and the boys were gaining on them. Neji shot a sidelong look at Shikamaru who turned to him slightly.

“Don't speed up or slow down,” he muttered, “we can't use weapons or moves against them, nor act stronger than is considered for a civilian... Our best plan is to scare them away...”

Neji attempted to think what they could possibly do to scare away a bunch of threating males without causing a huge scene. It would either have to be something which would scare them in the fear way, like an attack or a faint or collapse, or to make them part of something they didn't want to be seen as... Neji considered suggesting that he pretend to faint until the danger had passed, but was halted before he could make his suggestion by Shikamaru grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers in a grip that would snap the bones of most people.

Neji tried to pull away, face flushing red as he hissed as Shikamaru.

“What the hell are you doing? Let me go-”

“Play along.”

The words were hardly out of his mouth before a disgusted moan came from the group now ten feet behind them, but the group didn't leave. Neji felt sweat bead his forehead as humiliation crashed over him, making him cringe from the mental image of what they must look like. What he must look like, dressed like he was and holding hands with another man who just so happened to be one of the very few people whose intellect could stand up to his own and was probably the closest thing he had to an equal who was sane and a friend and any minute now someone he knew was going to come bursting round the corner like Naruto or his uncle or someone equally humiliating and there would be all sorts of rumors and his lack of any experience with girls, not to mention the fact he was dressed like one, was going to arouse a lot of suspicions and he would never live it down-

Neji's inner panic was brought to a screaming halt as Shikamaru lent in a little closer, completely destroying Neji's already fractured personal space. The boys were getting nearer and seemed to be cracking their knuckles.

“No scene,” muttered Shikamaru.

Neji felt like giving him a Hyuuga glare for telling him something so obvious, but Shikamaru was too close for proper eye to eye glaring.

“There's a football shop displaying the colors they're wearing. If we can get them to give up the chase, they'll go in there.”

Neji felt like asking exactly how he planned to make them go in the next fifteen seconds but before he could voice this, a slight change in Shikamaru's face told him he'd had an idea.

“Kiss me.”

The world screeched to a halt and time seemed to go and die in a corner. Everything stopped, and then suddenly rushed back, like a train at full speed.

“What!?”

Neji had just enough sanity left not to scream and managed to hiss it out, sounding like a broken radiator.

“Cheek. Quick!”

They were nearly past the shop. Neji took a nanosecond to curse every god out there and lent across to brush his lips against Shikamaru's cheek, flaming red as he heard the fake retching sounds from the group behind them. Shikamaru smiled at Neji, the picture of happiness before stealing a glance behind him and sighing in relief, releasing Neji's hand and putting a respectful distance between them. The boys, as predicted, had gone into the shop. A further glance showed they'd gone out the other entrance and onto the street.

“I thought you were going to freeze up for a second.”

Shikamaru said, scratching the back of his head.

“I really didn't want to get into a fight with them. Bad publicity.”

Neji just nodded, swung his hips back into motion and started walking, ignoring Shikamaru who had to do a small trot to catch up.

“Are you upset?”

Neji's eye twitched.

“No.”

“Alright then.”

Neji allowed himself to take a quick peek at Shikamaru who seemed to be completely unembarrassed by the affair. In fact, he was the epitome of 'cool'. A very small, violent part of Neji wanted to hit Shikamaru for the embarrassment he had caused, but avoiding a scene to make another one was pointless and in all honesty what Shikamaru had done was sensible, quiet and caused no trouble.

“How troublesome... We still need to get some personal items and work out your character.”

Neji sighed, and pushed his thoughts to the back of his mind.

“I suppose it's got to be camp. I've got the clothing, the makeup, and now the walk. All I need is the will.”

Shikamaru laughed.

“Was that a joke?”

Neji gave a half smile and shrugged.

“It's probably best if I act... Uh...”

“Feminine?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know how to act feminine?”

Neji sighed.

“No.”

“Well, let's start out by buying some girly stuff to help you ease into a character.”

Neji nodded.

“They'll take your lack of conversation as shy, wide vocabulary as educated, good looks for granted, but other than that, you'll be a blank. What do you like?”

If Neji was slightly surprised by this question, as he was, he didn't let it show.

“Shogi... Birds...”

“Hmmn... I think we may need to work on that. We'll get you some bird related items, but you're going to have to take up something else to add to the list. Birds, Shogi and Music aren't that wide a range. Oh, you could say you like fashion. That would do nicely.”

Neji nodded absentmindedly. Somewhere in the distance he could Naruto shouting, but he was too far away to make out any words.

“Perfect. Let's go in here.”

Neji turned to look at the shop. It was some sort of bird merchandise shop, selling everything from clothing to real birds. Neji felt a small pang at the birds in the cages, trapped like he often felt. They went in, noses twitching from the slightly acrid smell of bird droppings. Neji slowly made his way over to the caged birds. It seemed there were only turtle doves left, $20 per bird, free cage and month's supply of food.

“Buy one. It'll add sentimental charm to you.”

Neji nodded and went to the till, asking to buy a dove. Neji had almost forgotten he was in a dress until the man behind the till gave a start at his clearly male voice and started looking down on him. Neji swallowed his anger and followed the man back to the cages. He quickly selected a bird, took the cage and food from the man, paid and asked the man a question.

“Is it a she or a he?”

“She. Real males are too tough.”

Neji ignored the obvious insult and turned away, leaving the shop. A moment later, Shikamaru appeared with a tiny collar and leash.

“Then you can let her out to fly and not lose her.”

“Thank you.”

Neji took the items and put them in the bag with the food. They managed to follow the sound of Naruto's voice to a small restaurant where he was begging Sasuke for money to buy something to eat.

“Please, you b*****d! I spent it all!”

“Which is why I won't give you any. You need more self control, dumb a**.”

“I have loads of self control! Just three dollars? Come on!”

“No.”

“You b*****d!”

Neji walked up and stuffed three dollar bills into Naruto's gaping mouth, raising an eyebrow as he ran off with a muffled thank you. Neji scanned the walls for a clock, surprised to find that they only had half an hour left.

“Has everyone got something? Neji's got a bird, I'm going to get a Sidekick.”

“Hn. I've got books. Naruto's got a whole load of fox things.”

“Software.”

“I have bought a set of weights with my fake name on them, youthful team leader Shii!”

Shikamaru nodded.

“Right. Well, let's grab something to eat in this place, and then we'll leave. Is there anyone else with no money left? Good.”

They made their way into the small restaurant and sat down at a table. A waiter came over, took their orders and quickly bought them their food. It was a nice place, but small and Neji was feeling like his bird, trapped with everyone looking at him. They finished quickly and left, Shikamaru darting into a shop near the exit and buying a Sidekick and a digital camera.

It was cold outside and Neji vaguely wished he'd bought or brought a jacket.

“You're striding again.”

Neji sighed and started to walk like a girl again, ignoring the laughter from Naruto and Sasuke's lip twitching. They finally managed to relocate the bus and climbed on, thankful for the warmth inside.

“Hn. Are we still going to practice?”

Shikamaru shook his head.

“We'll do it tomorrow morning.”

There was a small collective sigh of relief as everyone went to change into their pajamas and climb into their respective beds. Neji got changed and went to attach the cage to a surface, bending some strips of metal to make clamps that would prevent it from falling off. He gently attached the collar around her neck, the leash to that and then to a bar on the cage and left the door open after filling her water and food bowls. Neji gently stroked her wings and went into the small bedroom, easing himself between the covers, careful not to touch Shikamaru. There was about three moments of silence before Naruto asked,

“Hey, Neji, what did you and Shikamaru do when you two disappeared?”

Neji sighed.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”



A/N Well, there you go! Your promised third chapter with my humble apologies in taking so long to put it up here XD. Sorry!

Please read and review! Thank you all in advance!

-Sophie

Very amused biggrin And their squabbling seems pretty in-character.

Although I confess I don't really get why Neji has to act all girly; ya might want to explain that a bit better (alternatively, I may simply have just missed it...)

On a tangent note, I'm not sure what characters or names or something that you want people to be coming up with for the contest. confused