|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 2:28 am
Hi, I love to write and I write a bunch of random things and post them on places such as thedollpalace.com and recently I've gone on deviantart.com. I'm going to give the link to my favorite story I've written that I want the most critique with and then the link to the 'library' with all of my other stories if you're interested.
This one is called Dandelion Wishes, I don't know why I like it so much *shrugs* but I do. I wrote it for a contest on the doll palace and the criteria was: it had to be about faries There had to be some kind of love And there had to be one death.
Here's the link: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/56478090/ Oh! And I wrote some parodies: http://www.thedollpalace.com/story/What-happens-when-I-get-bored-story-dpstr177258-se-ty-as.html http://www.thedollpalace.com/story/What-happens-when-I-get-bored-2-story-dpstr177369-se-ty-as.html http://www.thedollpalace.com/story/What-happens-when-I-get-bored-3-story-dpstr177465-se-ty-as.html http://www.thedollpalace.com/story/What-happens-when-I-get-bored-4-story-dpstr177666-se-ty-as.html
Thanks for your time, I really hope that you'll take the time to leave some constructive criticism (sp?).
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 3:13 pm
eek Omigawd... That was so awesome, I don't know what to say... Gimme a sec, and I'll fave that on DA. 4laugh That was one of the best short stories I've ever read. I can't even critique it, it was so good. Do you have more stories about these chars? whee They rawk. *huggles Naoki* 'Tis awesomely total greatness... heart
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 5:29 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 6:27 pm
That was a really good story =D Hurray for faries! I just have a couple of grammatical errors with it.
“Mom!” She cried as her mother lied unconscious against a branch.
It should be her mother lay, not lied.
A small tear trickled down her cheek as a strong memory flooded her mind, her best friend, the one guy she could trust with her entire heart and possibly have even loved was gone.
It's a run-on sentence. It should be ...flooded her mind. Her best friend...
She sighed, life was perfect.
She sighed; life was perfect.
There's a couple more errors, but they're pretty much the same as the ones above. Otherwise, that story was so touching and sad and cute. I loved every bit of it. Great job ^^
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 5:55 pm
Thanks ^_^ *goes to fix errors*
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 5:56 am
that was good..... mrgreen
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 9:21 am
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|