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I'm sure that it's rather common for most women to be rather unhappy with the way their bodies look after childbirth, but I wonder if I'm a little too upset about it.

One problem is, four months after Kaiya was born, I haven't lost a single pound, dispite being active... we go out on walks at least three times a week, and I've gone back to work, a job that involves me standing ALL day, and doing a lot of running around. I'm also breastfeeding, which is also supposed to help. I just don't understand how I could weight EXACTLY the same as the day I left the hospital. Some of my clothes are starting to fit better, and I know that weight is just a number and can't accurately describe one's fitness, but it seems really bizarre to me.

I also have stretch marks pretty much everywhere. Hips, stomach, boobs, legs(thighs AND knees) and I even have some on my arms. I started using Mederma, and I know that if it works, I probably won't be able to see results for several weeks still. It sucks because it is HOT out, and I can't wear shorts or skirts that go above my knees without feeling like I'm a walking pile of s**t.

I hate pretty much everything about the way I look right now, and it's distancing me from my boyfriend. I'm for one thing, still terrified at the thought of sex and living in constant fear of ever becoming pregnant again, but I also get mad if he walks in and sees me changing. I know he loves me and isn't bothered by my appearance(though I don't understand how) but I am, and while this is a bit of an exaggeration I pretty much won't let him touch me, because I'm so disgusted with myself.

Reading over what I just wrote I gather that I should probably seek some kind of professional to talk to about it. I just don't know what else I could do for the time being.

Hon, it definitely won't hurt to talk to a professional. heart

I think we all go through that. Pretty much it came down after I had my first son to pretty much say: "I don't give a crap" and wore what I wanted. It took me a year before I lost most of the weight. I still didn't and had to understand, that's ok. I really battled with depression that first year, but you know, those marks are battlescars and you have a beautiful baby to show for it.

Your body went through some major hell in a year! It takes time, you'll get there. And it'll be okay if you don't, as long as you're happy with yourself.

Remember, the number isn't important because muscle mass can weigh more. IF it makes you feel a little better, I'm going through my own body image crisis myself. PPD can occur at the time frame you're in, it can't hurt to talk to a doctor.

I didn't get hit with my blues until months after Ethan was born either. I'm also dealing with self-esteem issues post-partum--I think it's very common. Not because of my weight, but because of how differently my body is shaped now. It's frustrating, but I know I'll eventually get used to it and figure how to dress myself as I'm shaped now and not how I was. Doesn't mean I don't get pissy as all hell about it some days though. xp

In a world where we see celebrity moms barely 8 weeks post-partum back to their pre-baby sizes and weights, it can be hard to have realistic expectations of how that period is supposed to go. It doesn't help if you have a partner or others in your life who give you heck about it either. Way back when, my mother overheard a bagger at the grocery store telling everyone how he was going to divorce his lazy wife for not losing all that baby weight. She was using having the baby as an excuse to be fat. And she had that child three months ago--how dare she. Needless to say, my mother told him off. Anywho, in a round about way, what I'm trying to say is that it took you almost a full year to put the weight on and it's going to take an equal amount of time to take it off.

If nothing else seems to be helping, have your doctor do a thyroid function test. It's not uncommon for it to get a bit wonky after having a baby. 3nodding

There's this myth that once the baby's born, the mother is supposed to go back to her normal weight like in a month or two. It just doesn't work that way. I really get annoyed when they feature celebrities who've gotten their "pre-baby body" back just weeks later, because you know they've been starving themselves and working out constantly with personal trainers to do it. It's just not healthy.

Walking is a really great excercise! And if your clothes are fitting looser but you weigh the same, that means you're losing fat and gaining muscle. Adding some light weight lifting can also help tone your body. And talking to a dietician would probably also be helpful, or a nursing expert! They say breastfeeding is supposed to help you shed pounds, but I didn't really lose any the whole time I was nursing. So it's not unusual.

sweatdrop Having a physical reaction like that is out of my experience. For more then half a year, I was very indifferent towards sex for a couple of reasons, but I never physically dreaded it. It wasn't until my son started to wean himself that my libido made a comeback.

Are there other reasons you don't want to be intimate with him? Like are you worried about getting pregnant again or it's uncomfortable still? Are you on the pill or breastfeeding? Is something about the relationship making you unhappy?

Hope resurrecting this is okay. I've recently started to feel very depressed about my size and shape and rather than make a new thread, I thought this one touched enough on the issues to ask for some advice.

Basically, I know I only gave birth 3 weeks ago, but I got my jeans from storage today and I didn't fit into a single pair, not even the baggiest 'needed to wear a belt before' pair. And this upset me. I know I put on weight during the pregnancy, but I'm eager to fit into my own clothes and not have to continue wearing the limited maternity dresses I have.

What exercises do people suggest for shifting weight from thighs, buttocks and hips? My stomach squishes down, so I know that's not what it is. It's where my hips moved and my a** seems to have expanded outward.

stressed

3nodding There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in old clothes but you need to be realisitic about it. The changes in your body aren't just weight shifts, there were structural changes you'll never be able to change. Ie-the wider hips: the bones literally moved and changed. Some of it you'll come to accept in time and learn to work around. Sure can be hard to learn to dress a new body though.

For the excess weight, just remember it took almost a year to put it on, so it will take about as long to take it off. When you have your post-partum check up, be sure to talk to your doctor about what you can do and see what is recommended.

It's hard and can be rough on the self-esteem, but everything will be alright. heart

Just letting you know it took me a year and a half to get back to my old size... and well i'm still losing weight. i mean my thighs were too much for even Tina Turner hehe.

I might be a size 10 under this or even 8.