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 Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 11:30 am
Just have fun - Omni Magazine had a contest for new Scientific theories and they were so funny!!! I bet we can come up with some of our own.
xp
Bananas contain a chemical that makes a person happy - This same chemical is found in Prozac - That's why there are no depressed monkies!!! rofl rofl
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Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 11:32 am
New Scientific Theories
Winning entries from a recent contest for "new scientific theories" sponsored by Omni magazine.
4th Runner UpThe earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.
3rd Runner UpCommunist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet. The lack of an alphabet means the Chinese cannot use acronyms; thus, they cannot communicate their ideas at a faster rate.
2nd Runner UpThe 'Why Yawning Is Contagious' Theory: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it all out.
1st Runner Up
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
HONORABLE MENTION
The quantity of consonants in the English language is absolutely constant. If consonants are omitted in one geographic area, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah", the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."
THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER
When a cat is dropped, it ALWAYS lands on its feet; and when toast is dropped, it ALWAYS lands with the buttered side down. Therefore, I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat. When dropped, the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground, probably into eternity. A buttered-cat array" could replace pneumatic tires on cars and trucks, and "giant buttered-cat arrays" could easily allow a high-speed monorail to link between New York with Chicago.
rofl rofl rofl rofl
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:51 pm
rofl rofl rofl
Oh my God that's funny! I've heard that cat one before actually, though the tree one is the best. This will take some time...
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:59 pm
Old dogs actually can learn new tricks. But after a certain age they stop producing a hormone in their brain known as trictostergen. This hormone gives energy to the part of a dogs brain that enables it to learn new tricks.
If you give the said dog regular injections of trictostergen, it can learn new tricks no matter how old it is.
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 6:48 pm
blaugh
Those are great!
haha
Yeah I've heard that cat one before!
Umm...
What can I come up with...
*ponders*
I theorize that playing lot's of Driving video games, you can learn how to drive.
xp
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 7:05 pm
THOSE ARE SO FUNNY! I wouldn't be able to come up with one myself though.
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:01 pm
Wow those are great! I'm still thinking.... brain is hot........ gonk
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:48 am
Ha ha, indeed! lol
1) Playing a lot of video games help you improve your co-ordination (and perhaps, concentration).
2) Ice is a bad conductor of heat. Thus in cold regions you find that frozen lakes and rivers still have water warmer beneath the ice, helping fishes to survive.
3) Isaac Newton practiced Alchemy secretly xp
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:12 pm
It always rains after you wash your car,
So I theorize that if no one were to wash their car, it would never rain.
xp
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:46 pm
Then all we have to do to fix the droughts in Africa is get everyone a car, get it dirty, and have them wash them!
This may explain monsoons. Too many people washing their cars!!
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:38 pm
The Radicals in the middle east are Radical because they've spent too much time under the sun, thus we give their homes a/c, and give them also Hat's, water parks, and sun screen. mrgreen
It would take about 8 minutes to bake my Pillsbury Dough boy dinner rolls in the earth's upper atmosphere at 464 degrees F. Thus to aviod paying for energy to heat my oven, I will simply construct a very tall Hydraulic powered "pole" thingy, then simply put my rolls on top, let it rise into the air, and 8 minutes later I should have nice golden brown dinner rolls. mrgreen
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Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 2:50 am
Bumblebees are aerodynamically unstable. They can't fly. Problem is, no one told the bumble bees that, so they fly all the time. So my theory is that since people are also aerodynamically unstable, if no one tells us we can't, we should all be able to fly! rolleyes
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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:46 am
ummm
I think I have one.
If you watch a pot, the water never boils. So if we wanted our water never to boil you should have over 100 people in the room to watch the pot so it will never boil, because each person will cancel out about 1 degree C.
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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:58 am
lol Yerright! Here's one. (random again)
Earlier fossils of apes and monkeys had been found, told that they were man's ancestors. But monkeys do exist even now. Therefore, evolution is a lie, and those fossils belonged to the monkeys. Meaning, humans came out of thin air? Are we aliens? rofl
"Every action has an equal and opposite reaction". So technically when you slap a person he/she will slap you back. lol
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 2:37 pm
When a person is lost, their ability to ask for directions is inversely proportional to the amount of testosterone in their blood. So my theory is : all great historical explorers were men who simply got lost and couldn't ask for directions!
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