THE CHEY AND BAG3L STORY | Page 1 | Right On!: Spam With a Twist! | Guild Forums

Bag3l in a Box

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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:39 pm

Cheygina drooled on her keyboard. The saliva dripped below the keys and made bubbles between the G and H keys.

"CHEYGINA!" Chey called to her little-known daughter. "I SIGNED YOU UP FOR AN ACTING CLASS AND IT'S TIME TO LEAVE!"

Cheygina whipped her head up and looked at her mother who had just entered her room. "WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM, b***h?" she questioned. "What freaking acting class? I don't freaking want to be a skankwhore actress!"

"You get money and manhos," Chey explained, a blank expression upon her face.

"I'm in," Cheygina exclaimed. She jumped up and followed Chey out to the car.

Chey started up the car and drove ten thousand miles to the theater where the teacher, Mrs. Kapilowskeeny, waited in front of the theater for her students.

Mrs. Kapilowskeeny, waited in front of the theater for her students. She was a very old looking woman, with wrinkles completely destroying her once lovely face.

“Oh man, this b***h is the teacher? What a joke!” Cheygina said, laughing a bit while Chey looked at her rude daughter sternly.

“It’s what’s in the inside that counts!” She screamed and pushed Cheygina out the car. “Now, get good at this!”

As her mother drove off, Cheygina mutteed a quick “b***h” before she saw Mrs. Kapilowskeeny tottering towards her, making her look like an overweight penguin.

“You must be Cheygina. We’re glad to see you!”

Of course, Cheygina wasn’t and she just gave her a deadpan stare. “Uh huh. Okay. So, are we going to act or what?”

Mrs. Kapilowskeeny looked a bit taken aback before tottering back to her other students with Cheygina following behind, who was laughing loudly.

“Oh man! What an ugly hoe!”

When they got to the other students, everybody was a little scared of Cheygina. She just had one of those mean looking faces. The kind that made you wanna skip terrorist tiki luau night to bribe her not to kill you in painful ways.

"HEY BIOTCHES I'M CHEYGINA. BE MY FRIEND OR I KILL YOU."

"How?" one of the kids questioned.

"What's your name, b*****d?" Cheygina asked rudely.

"John Smith," John answered. "John, short for Johntobotabee."

"OKAY b*****d," Cheygina shortened. "YOU WILL DIE... BY HOUSE FYR3!"

John ran away and Cheygina took center stage as Mrs. Whatsername entered the theater and began to distribute scripts to the play they were to perform.

"This play is called ROMEO AND LOLIET," she told them. "Romeo will be John and Loliet will be KATIE."

Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:43 pm

"NOTMEBITCH?" Cheygina screamed. "YOU WILL PAY WITH YOUR LIVES MORTALS!"

"Mortals?" The unfortunate Katie asked, her face almost smiling. She knew Cheygina must have been jealous. "What are you? A god?"

Cheygina just laughed and nodded. In a very intimidating way which made Mrs. K-woman-person shake a little and regret her choice.

Katie wouldn't let herself be scared. "You're full of yourself. I'm not backing down."

John was cheering for Katie. he didn't want to kiss Cheygina. He was afraid she could possibly bite his lips off.

"WE WILL START PRACTICE NOW," Mrs. K-whoever said. "LET'S SKIP TO THE KISS SCENE CAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL."

Her students snickered behind her fat a** because she used new day gangsta' slang.

"She must watch pronzors," Cheygina whispered to a random person. The random person moved away. "WHAT THE FRICKING HELL b***h," Chey yelled. She didn't notice that John and Katie were making out on the stage.

"MORE PASSION!" Mrs. Waddlypenguin screamed.

"THAT'S IT. I'M GOIN' GOD ON J00R ASSES," Cheygina exclaimed, and started stomping over to the poor kids. Katie wasn't scared because she was made of tough stuff. poor John, well, he wasn't and Katie groaned in disgust as she saw John had wet his pants.

"GROSS JOHN!" Katie screamed, running away and Cheygina just laughed.

"See, that's my power, bitches. That's my power!"

One boy named Mikey K rolled his eyes. "No, John's just a wuss and you're nothing but a stupid girl who thinks she's all that. That's really not hot, you know."

Now, it was known Cheygina was a b***h. The bad thing was, nobody could really handle it and so obviously, neither could her acting class.

"Yeah? Well, you're ugly! Stupid b***h!"

"I'm a boy! I can't be a b***h!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. i thought you were a girl with that girly voice of yours!"

Bag3l in a Box

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Bag3l in a Box

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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:43 pm

And so went poor Mikey K crying in the bathroom. Maybe he was a girl. But it didn't matter because people were beginning to buy snacks at the snack bar. Cheygina suddenly forgot what she was doing and bought a bag of chips.

"HAY CHEYGINA I'M SORRY YO. YOU ARE KIND OF HOT," John said. "BUT YOUR MOM IS SO MUCH HOTTER."

"WHAT SAY b***h?" Cheygina yelled.

"Wtf, I ain't no b***h, b***h," John said, miffed.

"Yeah, I'm his b***h!" Katie informed her, hugging John's neck.

Cheygina laughed. "YOU MAKE OUT AS ROMEO AND LOLIET AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE ALL I'M HIS b***h b***h? WELL YOU'RE A b***h, b***h AND I'M NO b***h BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE HIS b***h BUT YOU'RE ALSO A b***h BUT MIKEY'S A b***h AND I THINK HE'S A GIRL b***h AND I'M NOT A b***h b***h AND JOHN'S A BTICH TOO b***h SO b***h THERE b***h!"

Cheygina was exhausted from all the bitches so she decided to switch words.

"You're all nothing but sluts! Especially you, Katie!"

"What?" Katie screamed, her face starting to look so angry it rivaled Mrs. K-person-teacher's ugly face. "I know you did not just say that, SLUT!"

Cheygina just rolled her eyes and decided to walk away to get more chips. After all, that b***h Katie was definitely not worth it. She really was a slut.

"So, Cheygina...can we, you know, go out?" John asked, but he was acting too nervous and Cheygina never liked wussy men so she screamed in his face.

"GROSS! NO WAY!"

"Okay, um, children?" Mrs. K woman said, trying to get the attention back to her since she was the teacher and all. "No more drama please. Can we please go back to our play? Okay, Katie, time to pretend you're dead. John, start crying." Nobody was sure, but they were sure she muttered under her breath 'but that won't be a problem'.

Katie rolled her eyes. "Um, I don't play dead. Cheygina could do it well. SHE LOOKS DEAD!"

"HOE!"

"SLUT!"

"UGLY a**!"

Katie screamed. "NOBODY INSULTS MY a**! NOBODY!" And she lunged at Cheygina, who was thrown down to the ground by the crazy
slutwhoreskankbitch, Katie.

Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:44 pm

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOP IT!" Mikey suddenly screamed from the bathroom. Cheygina was horribly disturbed by Mikey and got up and sat down in the seats in front of the stage, eating her hand.

"Wtf at you, slut," Katie muttered and climbed up onto the stage and lay down.

John cried not because he was acting, but because Cheygina rejected him. Whilst Katie lay on the stage, "dead", John walked up to Cheygina and suddenly stopped crying. "Yo, can I go out with YOUR MOM?"

"SURE, YOU CAN BOTH BE BITCHES TOGETHER, BITCHFACE!" Cheygina said, snapping out of her disturbed-by-Mikey phase and her too-many-bitches phase.

"WOOOOOO!" John did his best Ron Bruise impression and climbed onto the stage.

"NOW START CRYING!" The forgot-her-name drama teacher screamed.

But John was smiling.

"START CRYING, b***h!" Cheygina yelled at him.

"I CAN'T STOP SMILNG, DUDE. I JUST GOT A DATE WITH THE HAWTEST WOMAN ON DA BLOCK, YO!"

"THEN CHEYGINA IS ROMEO CAUSE SHE CAN PRETEND TO BE A MAN REAL WELL!"

Cheygina wasn't sure who the hell said that so she decided to call everybody bitches just for the heck of it. But then, a horrible plan came to her evil but 'hawt' little head. "Okay, I'll be Romeo." She said with a wink. Winks weren't good with Cheygina.

So as she walked to the stage, with a pen in her hand, Katie never knew what was coming.

ONE STAB. TWO STAB. THREE STAB.

"OMFG, YOU b***h!" Katie screamed, watching as Cheygina was grinning in a crazy way. "You're killing me!" And then she died. Just like that.

"...Oh my God." Mrs. STUPIDNAMETEACHER said, scared as she looked at the bloody pen. "You killed a student."

Bag3l in a Box

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Bag3l in a Box

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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:45 pm

Cheygina just shrugged. "She was a slutty hoe b***h. And for that, she will always be remembered. Even as she burns in Hell with my great buddy Satan. She'll love him and he'll love her. I'll make sure of it." And then she started laughing in that "MWAHAHAHAHA!" way which caused everybody to run from the room, with wet pants which made Cheygina laugh harder.

Cheygina was the last one left in the theater. Chey drove up and Cheygina got in the front seat and DIDN'T BUCKLE UP FO' SAFETY FOO'.

"Cheygina, how was acting class?" Chey asked ever-so-sweetly.

"I KILLED A b***h!" Cheygina exclaimed. "AND IT WAS FUN!"

"YOUNG LADYWOMAN!" Chey yelled. "YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

"We ain't home, b***h," Cheygina informed her.

"WHEN WE GET HOME!" Chey screamed.

"I'M GONNA CUT MYSELF WITH A SPOON BECAUSE IT'S THE CLOSEST THING TO ME!" Cheygina yelled, but it really wasn't the closest thing, and there were no spoons in the car, so she cut herself with the armrest of her chair instead.

But then, the worst happened.

Whilst Cheygina cut herself with an armrest, it mentally disturbed Chey and she crashed into a Yoda crossing the street. She didn't see the Yoda crossing sign a mile previous ALL BECAUSE OF CHEYGINA.

In the Lolspital, they performed really expensive surgery that made Chey's wallet get appendicitis and it somehow become another living being. How, nobody knew BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER!

"Hi, everybody. My name is Walletormy." It said in the sweetest voice imaginable and everybody aww'd. Well, except Cheygina but she was a b***h.

And so, Cheygina had a new sister, Chey had another kid (slut kept getting pregnant, yo), and everybody else...well, they probably just were being slutty too.

Which is the moral of this story. Don't be a slut. or don't drink and drive and cut yourself with an arm rest. Whichever.

"What a stupid moral." Cheygina says but let's ignore the b***h? 'Kay.

END

Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:48 pm

YOU TWO > ME AND THE REST OF THE WORLD.
End of discussion.
I laughed so hard, I wheezed and snorted and hacked. <3

I love you guys. xDD
heart heart