My best friend

[Jasmine Snape]

My best friend told me about a week ago that she is getting a sex change. I know she has been thinking about this for a while because she has talked to me about it before,. but I never thought she would actually go through with it. Apparently, however, she has been having these thoughts since she was like 10 years old and she describes herself as "a male trapped in a female body". Apparently it's even a medical condition and so she decided to get sex reassignment surgery, eventually. Apparetnly it's a loing process though.
I don't really understand this at all, because I believe that God created you who you were meant to be and God created my best friend as a woman as who she was meant to be. If God had wanted her a man he would have made her a man.
I never expected her to change her mind with what I believed, but I was glad she at least listened. I'm not going to leave her either if she decides to go through with this, because I love her so much, but she's running away from the person God made her to be when he made her a woman. That is what I believe. I don't understand what she is going through either, I really don't.
But I do know one thing, I love her as my best friend so much that I"m not going to leave her. But I jsut don't know how I'm going to handle it if she does actually end up going through with it. I won't lie when I say I'm praying very hard that God would change her heart, even slowly to get this thought out of her head. But I just don't know. She's not a Christian, she doesn't believe in God, so even though I'm her best friend and my opinion matters the most, when you are trying to explain why you believe what you believe because of your belief in God to someone who does not believe in God, it's very complicating.
She knows I don't support her either. I told her I didn't support her but I wasn't going to leave her. She's going to lose so many friends and possibly family over this that if she does eventually go through with it she's going to need me more then ever and I'm not going to leave her ini a time that she needs me most.
What do you guys think? I kind of am at that point that I love her not her sexuality, even though I don't agree with her. Apparently being "transgender" is a psychological problem and most psychiatrists say that the only way to fix it is by getting a sexchange. What do you guys think?  

[Sarcastic_Angel]

This is complicated. You're doing the right thing by staying with her, even though you don't agree with it. By doing that, it'll help her see God's love. Continue praying too, and talk to her about it. Invite her to church so she can learn about God and experience his love there too. And keep talking to her about it. Learn her reasons, and try to understand them. See if you can help her through her reasons ( I'm guessing there's a deeper problem if she wants a sexchange) and problems. Just be there for her no matter what; that's all you can do. But remember it's her choice and her live.  

[theskyiscrying]

i think a sex change is wrong because god made her for who she is a woman and i think its a sin to think she can take gods plan into her own by having a sex change(god made us all the way we are for a reason)  

[Jasmine Snape]

I know that's all I can do, and I praying all the time that God will change her heart and her mind. But it's so frustrating sometimes. I think it could be partly because her Father never really showed her love growing up. Not that he ever showed any of his kids love growing up but it could have effected her differently.
I know God made us the way we are for a reason, but if she doesn't even believe in God how do you convey your feelings about that to her?  

[theskyiscrying]

Dreaming Beyond Hope

I know that's all I can do, and I praying all the time that God will change her heart and her mind. But it's so frustrating sometimes. I think it could be partly because her Father never really showed her love growing up. Not that he ever showed any of his kids love growing up but it could have effected her differently.
I know God made us the way we are for a reason, but if she doesn't even believe in God how do you convey your feelings about that to her?

if you could help her towards the lord you can tell her god will be her father and he will love and care for and that she should stay the way god made her  

[Kuroi Kokoro no Mendori]

It's a legitimate medical issue, and she should be congratulated for having the courage to do this.

It's like a genetic disease. Did God give it to you? Yes. Will he mind if you try to cure it? No.  

[Jasmine Snape]

Kuroi Kokoro no Mendori

It's a legitimate medical issue, and she should be congratulated for having the courage to do this.

It's like a genetic disease. Did God give it to you? Yes. Will he mind if you try to cure it? No.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe that God gave that to her. I know it a legitimate disease. God didn't give her the disease though. Why would God make her a woman if he wanted her to be a man? He would have just created her so. It can be cured, but it shouldn't be cured by the sexchange. God can cure her with the help of the Holy Spirit, but she shouldn't get a sex change. God did not give her that disease.  

[Jasmine Snape]

theskyiscrying

Dreaming Beyond Hope

I know that's all I can do, and I praying all the time that God will change her heart and her mind. But it's so frustrating sometimes. I think it could be partly because her Father never really showed her love growing up. Not that he ever showed any of his kids love growing up but it could have effected her differently.
I know God made us the way we are for a reason, but if she doesn't even believe in God how do you convey your feelings about that to her?

if you could help her towards the lord you can tell her god will be her father and he will love and care for and that she should stay the way god made her

That's what I've been trying to do especially over the past little while when I've grown closer to God. I want her to have that, but I"m not going to force her into anything or something like that. I'm praying for her and she knows that and I tell her about God because was part of my feelings for her changing, but I can't make her make this decision. It's something she has to make and believe me when I say I'm trying to lead her to that point.  

[SinfulGuillotine]

That's tough. You're definitely doing the right thing by standing by your friend. He's (I'm referring to him with male pronouns, since I'm guessing that's how he prefers to be known) in for a very difficult road ahead of him, and he'll have enough problems without a close friend abandoning him.

I know that you say you want to change his mind, but honestly - if someone is willing to go through the amount of physical and emotional pain that sex reassignment surgery and social transitioning requires, do you really think that this is just some whim they can be talked out of? You have to be pretty damn sure that's what you want when you're planning on putting yourself through that much crap. It's really not the sort of thing you're likely to talk anyone out of.

I think the best thing you can do at this point is to stand by your friend and help him in any way you can, and just pray that he'll make the right decision and that he'll ultimately be happy, whatever the "right decision" is for your friend in God's eyes.  

[Jasmine Snape]

SinfulGuillotine

That's tough. You're definitely doing the right thing by standing by your friend. He's (I'm referring to him with male pronouns, since I'm guessing that's how he prefers to be known) in for a very difficult road ahead of him, and he'll have enough problems without a close friend abandoning him.

I know that you say you want to change his mind, but honestly - if someone is willing to go through the amount of physical and emotional pain that sex reassignment surgery and social transitioning requires, do you really think that this is just some whim they can be talked out of? You have to be pretty damn sure that's what you want when you're planning on putting yourself through that much crap. It's really not the sort of thing you're likely to talk anyone out of.

I think the best thing you can do at this point is to stand by your friend and help him in any way you can, and just pray that he'll make the right decision and that he'll ultimately be happy, whatever the "right decision" is for your friend in God's eyes.

First of all I would prefer it if you called HER a HER and not a he because that is who she is. I'm not trying to talk her out of it. I've already aknowledged the fact that that is impossible for me to do. Nothing I do or say can change HER mind.

I am not going to abandon HER in any way shape or form, but I'm not going to support her decision to get a sex change either. I'm going to pray that God's will be done, but I'm always praying that God changers HER mind because I don't believe that this is God's will for anyones life because they are who God created them to be and since he created her a woman, I assume that is the way he wanted her to be in the first place.  

[theskyiscrying]

Kuroi Kokoro no Mendori

It's a legitimate medical issue, and she should be congratulated for having the courage to do this.

It's like a genetic disease. Did God give it to you? Yes. Will he mind if you try to cure it? No.

what are you talking about it isnt a medical disease i mean where do you think of this stuff and god will ming if her friend changes from how god made her,there is no legitimate medical issue  

[SinfulGuillotine]

Dreaming Beyond Hope

SinfulGuillotine

That's tough. You're definitely doing the right thing by standing by your friend. He's (I'm referring to him with male pronouns, since I'm guessing that's how he prefers to be known) in for a very difficult road ahead of him, and he'll have enough problems without a close friend abandoning him.

I know that you say you want to change his mind, but honestly - if someone is willing to go through the amount of physical and emotional pain that sex reassignment surgery and social transitioning requires, do you really think that this is just some whim they can be talked out of? You have to be pretty damn sure that's what you want when you're planning on putting yourself through that much crap. It's really not the sort of thing you're likely to talk anyone out of.

I think the best thing you can do at this point is to stand by your friend and help him in any way you can, and just pray that he'll make the right decision and that he'll ultimately be happy, whatever the "right decision" is for your friend in God's eyes.

First of all I would prefer it if you called HER a HER and not a he because that is who she is. I'm not trying to talk her out of it. I've already aknowledged the fact that that is impossible for me to do. Nothing I do or say can change HER mind.

I am not going to abandon HER in any way shape or form, but I'm not going to support her decision to get a sex change either. I'm going to pray that God's will be done, but I'm always praying that God changers HER mind because I don't believe that this is God's will for anyones life because they are who God created them to be and since he created her a woman, I assume that is the way he wanted her to be in the first place.

...is there a reason you're acting so hostile towards me? Honestly, I think people are nicer to me when I'm intentionally being an a**. confused

I referred to your friend with male pronouns because generally transsexuals prefer to be known by their emotional gender rather than their physical sex, and English doesn't really have any gender-neutral pronouns that aren't offensive (calling someone "it" isn't exactly flattering). If I was mistaken and your friend still likes to be referred to with female pronouns, then I apologise.

And what I meant by simply praying for God's will to be done is that...well, God's will isn't always what we expect, is it? For example, perhaps God created your friend as a man in a woman's body intentionally. I couldn't tell you why or even if that's the case or not because I'm not God, but then, that's kind of the point. We don't always know what God has in mind when He does certain things; we just have to trust that it's the right thing because it's His will. So all I'm suggesting is that you pray for your friend in the sense that you pray that God's intention for your friend will be carried out. We can only guess at what that intention might be, though. God's intention, however, may be different from your intention.  

[SinfulGuillotine]

theskyiscrying

Kuroi Kokoro no Mendori

It's a legitimate medical issue, and she should be congratulated for having the courage to do this.

It's like a genetic disease. Did God give it to you? Yes. Will he mind if you try to cure it? No.

what are you talking about it isnt a medical disease i mean where do you think of this stuff and god will ming if her friend changes from how god made her,there is no legitimate medical issue

If someone with Bipolar disorder takes Lithium, is that going against God's will for them?

If someone with cancer seeks medical treatment, is that going against God's will for them?

I mean, really, you can use that logic for any affliction or human abnormality. Does that mean that Western medicine is Satan incarnate? I really don't think so.  

[Gamja]

SinfulGuillotine

theskyiscrying

Kuroi Kokoro no Mendori

It's a legitimate medical issue, and she should be congratulated for having the courage to do this.

It's like a genetic disease. Did God give it to you? Yes. Will he mind if you try to cure it? No.

what are you talking about it isnt a medical disease i mean where do you think of this stuff and god will ming if her friend changes from how god made her,there is no legitimate medical issue

If someone with Bipolar disorder takes Lithium, is that going against God's will for them?

If someone with cancer seeks medical treatment, is that going against God's will for them?

I mean, really, you can use that logic for any affliction or human abnormality. Does that mean that Western medicine is Satan incarnate? I really don't think so.

Can I join? Good.

Well, I can't help but disagree with SinfulGuillotine. I'm sorry but it's a bit difficult to see how a person desiring sex change correlates to cancer treatment or treatment for bipolar disorder.

Sex change (by Dreaming Beyond Hope's friend) is a desire by that person. There's a huge difference here. Cancer and one's bipolar disorder are problems a person CAN'T control. Sex change, however, is controllable. No offense to Hope's friend, but she lacks self-control.

From my perspectives (Christian) the Bible warns us to guard our hearts and cautions us to maintain control. Guillotine, I don't know whose god you're referring to, but my God doesn't want His sons and daughters to live sinful lives. Sure, He wants us to be happy. He knows Hope's friend is in pain - He ought to! But to change what He saw as wonderful just because His daughter didn't feel "happy" or "right" with her body? It's sin since she can't battle the influences of the world. God tells us to keep our thoughts away from what is below and think of what is above.

Moreover, (to Kuroi Kokoro no Mendori) it's not courage for her to go through this. She's acting out of fear. Fear that she no longer has the control to see what she already owns and treasures is not acceptable to the world. This is why it became a medical condition. She kept telling herself that she is unhappy with her body. So changing her sex will supposedly make her content. If you keep telling yourself that you are sick or unhappy you will end up getting the disease. Mind is a powerful tool.

To Hope: I wish that your friend wouldn't go through this. It's hard to change a person's mind when self is hard to change... I know how emotionally painful it is to feel that she doesn't feel right. However, God made her. She should be happy with herself. She shouldn't consider what other people think or say (I know, easier said than to see reality, but still). God doesn't care if she is the ugliest thing to other people; in His eyes, she is the most absolute, beautiful creation that he had ever made. He loves her for who she is.

You are a great friend. Not very many people are fortunate enough to have a friend like you. It's also great how you'll stay with your friend. A true Christian would stay. smile

Here's a great verse:

Psalm 139:14-16

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Prayers for you and your friend exclaim  

[Cyberpunk Hero]

P4nda_Boy

No offense to Hope's friend, but she lacks self-control.

Lacking self-control is when you go back for seconds. Wanting a sex change is desiring a dramatic change in your lifestyle. There's a considerable difference.

P4nda_Boy

But to change what He saw as wonderful just because His daughter didn't feel "happy" or "right" with her body? It's sin since she can't battle the influences of the world.

Being influenced by the world isn't a sin. Wanting to change who you are isn't a sin.

P4nda_Boy

God tells us to keep our thoughts away from what is below and think of what is above.

But while we're stuck here, why not be more comfortable with who you are?

P4nda_Boy

She's acting out of fear. Fear that she no longer has the control to see what she already owns and treasures is not acceptable to the world.

You're speculating. Maybe she's acting out of fear, maybe she isn't. We don't know.

P4nda_Boy

If you keep telling yourself that you are sick or unhappy you will end up getting the disease. Mind is a powerful tool.

That's rarely literally true, but you ignore the option that maybe she really does have a legitimate problem. To assume that she doesn't is pure speculation.

P4nda_Boy

However, God made her.

And who granted you the authority to say that God didn't also want her to have this procedure?

God, as they say, works in mysterious ways.