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 Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:49 pm
So, uh, what is Judaism's "official" stance on polygamy, and what are y'all's stances on it?
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:40 pm
I have no idea what the "official" stance is about this subject.
Personally, I hate butting my nose where it does not belong, you know. If it works for you and it does not hurt anyone, go for it. I personally could not do it, nor would I want to do it, but to each his/her own.
Good topic.
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:21 am
Ooo I think I was just reading about this.
I don't think Judaism has ever bee for polygamy. I mean they were like in first temple days, I prosume because it was the norm, I think I also heard something from someone that you could marry someone else after 5 years of marriage if your wife wasn't able to have a baby. You wouldn't have to divorce her but you could have another wife to try and fullfill the mitzvah of knocking some chick up. 3nodding
But I think after the second temple fell, I think judaism took a good stanse against just dumping your wife off cause you didn't like her. Like in my book it was talking about how the one portion in the torah was talking about dirvorce, three different people translated it a different way one said that it meant if your wife cheated on you, you could divorce her, another said that if you didn't like her for any stupid reason like she burnt the challah once, you could divorse her, and the final one said how you can divorce her for whatever reason, but that it's not advised. Then Later on in judaims they really like strapped down on the fact that divorse should be avoided at all costs because if you divorse your wife even the alter crys crying and we don't want that do we.
So I think Judaism has for the most part been against polgamy, except in the anciet times when it was the norm for all society, but they had resrtictions and limitations on it.
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:43 pm
err....Don't know what the official stance is, but I think polygamy is very disturbing, and insults the marriage between A man and A woman. I'll stop before I start ranting and unintentionally insult somebody. sweatdrop
If somebody truly believes that is the right thing to do, then fine, but I would not want to myself. sweatdrop
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darkphoenix1247 Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:21 pm
I'm pretty sure that it was outlawed in Judaism, but for Mormons who still do it and Islamic people, I'm sure it's a learning experience. Shaina is right though, to each their own! I would never do it, but it might be interesting to see and learn about.
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Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 10:50 am
I'm pretty sure that I couldn't handle more than one wife, but I'd sure like to try.
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Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 1:59 pm
Others basically covered the "official" bit, I think.
I can't imagine why a woman would want more than one husband. I can imagine why a man would think he might want more than one wife, but really, guys, think about the everyday life parts for a while and you'll get over it. :XP:
I think we unconsciously love many people throughout our lives, but we consciously choose one person we love to be faithful to and honor in a committed relationship, marriage, whatever you want to call it.
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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 12:42 am
Everyone covered most of the points, but one was left out. Ashkenazi Jews are forbidden from taking more than one spouse, in modern times. If your ancestors are from Germany, Hungary, Russia, most parts of France, some parts of Spain and Italy, Austria, Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia, and other "white guy" countries, then you are Ashkenazi, and forbidden from polygamy.
However, Sephardi Jews were surrounded by communities that favored polygamy (that is, for men), in some or all cases. If your ancestors are from some parts of Spain and Italy, a few parts of France, Portugal, Holland (because oddly enough, most Jews in Holland are actually of Portugese descent), Africa, Asia, Greece, and other "tan guy" countries, you are either Sephardi, Teimani (Yemenite), or Mizrachi (Middle Eastern and Asian), and you are therefore permitted to engage in polygamy, as long as your country's laws accept this arrangement.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 6:27 pm
Well, I can't say I can answer my own question as to the official rules.
I also can't say as to whether I know whether I'm Ashkenazi, or Sephardi, or something else. See, I'm Puerto Rican, not a white guy by genes (I have a collagen deficiency that makes my joints hyper-extendible, my skin hyper-sensitive, and a very pale color), and my grandparents were both adopted. So, no clue on that one.
I do admit that I'm an openly practicing polygamist, and that the bulk of my relationships are non-sexual in nature, so I'm not sure if that changes anything in any rules, or whatnot.
My view on it is that you love whomever you will love, you can't control that. What you can, and do, control is how you show your love. You obviously show love for your parents differently than love for a romantic interest, or a very close friend, or a pet, etc. If you love someone (in my opinion) you should foster a relationship with them, whether it involves sex and romance, or not. That's just my view on it.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:30 pm
If you're from Puerto Rico, then your ancestors are probably partly from Spain and maybe Portugal, and partly native to South and Central America. Your Jewish ancestry is probably from Spain, which makes you Sephardi.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 3:34 pm
darkphoenix1247 err....Don't know what the official stance is, but I think polygamy is very disturbing, and insults the marriage between A man and A woman. I'll stop before I start ranting and unintentionally insult somebody. sweatdrop If somebody truly believes that is the right thing to do, then fine, but I would not want to myself. sweatdrop I agree, I don't see the point in having more than one spouse, as it ruins the special connection of "Just you and me"...
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:49 pm
nathan_ngl darkphoenix1247 err....Don't know what the official stance is, but I think polygamy is very disturbing, and insults the marriage between A man and A woman. I'll stop before I start ranting and unintentionally insult somebody. sweatdrop If somebody truly believes that is the right thing to do, then fine, but I would not want to myself. sweatdrop I agree, I don't see the point in having more than one spouse, as it ruins the special connection of "Just you and me"... For me, it's about the emotional stability (if one relationship doesn't work out, I still have my other(s) to keep me from getting too depressed), the financial stability (three people paying for one place to live is cheaper than two people, or one person, paying for the same place obviously), and really that's why I like it. There are of course many reasons for polygamy the world over. In Tibet polygamy often took the form of a woman marrying two men, so that even if one went to war, there would still be one at home. In areas with multiple women and one man they tend to be harsher regions, where women were more willing to enter polygamous relationships to ensure the best possible genetic material for their children. There are, of course, many more reasons depending on culture, and individual. My point is that there are many reasons for polygamy, and not many of us who practice feel it detracts from the "this is a special relationship" thing between ourselves and our others (I use others, as it's a gender neutral term. I've had boys, and girls, so I can't really use a single gender specific term). Out of curiosity, didn't some folk in the OT have multiple wives (not too religious, I haven't read much of any holy material from any religion)?
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:58 pm
What about polyamory? My husband is Sephardi (he's a Mexican-American Jew) and he has polyamorous ... tendencies.
I really don't see the problem with polyamory, though polygamy is rather weird (there's no way you could love more than one person equally). I mean, there are famous instances of Jews having mistresses (or lovers or whatever). I can't remember what the official stance on such a practice is as far as halacha goes. But I do remember reading that there is nothing in the Bible forbidding certain sexual relationships between married adults (like, for example, married women and other women).
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 10:20 pm
roothands What about polyamory? My husband is Sephardi (he's a Mexican-American Jew) and he has polyamorous ... tendencies.
I really don't see the problem with polyamory, though polygamy is rather weird (there's no way you could love more than one person equally). I mean, there are famous instances of Jews having mistresses (or lovers or whatever). I can't remember what the official stance on such a practice is as far as halacha goes. But I do remember reading that there is nothing in the Bible forbidding certain sexual relationships between married adults (like, for example, married women and other women). Haha, thanks. Polyamory is more what I practice. biggrin Thanks, again. I tend to switch back to using polygamy because it's what I've heard all my life.
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Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:00 pm
I don't know. My personal opinion is quite simple: It's not something I would want for me, but who am I to tell others how to live? If it's what works for someone else, I support them all the way.
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