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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 5:26 pm
Name: Evangel
Race: Elven
Age: looks about 18-20, really she is over 300.
Appearance: Height and skin: she is 5'8" and has pale milky skin.
Hair: White with a silvery sheen (not grey). It falls down to her hips with a gentle curl. It is partly pulled back in a half pony-tail, held up with silver ribbons. More silver ribbons are also sewn through her hair.
Eyes: Her eyes are a deep amethyst purple with lilac flecks.
Accessories: She wears a rainbow crystal dagger, given to her by her brother. It hides under her dress dangling on a silver chain. Her ears are addorned with multiple piercings. On each ear there is an onyx stud, a ruby stud and an amethyst stud. On her right ear is a silver cuff and a chain connecting to the silver stud higher up on her ear.
Clothing: She wears a dress made out of velvet and silk, the colors ranging from black to purple to a dark burgendy, all blending together in a rainbow like fashion. The solid part of the dress falls to her knees but continues to cascade to the ground in tendrils of fabric in different langths. The top of the dress is black and fades into a amethyst purple, matching her eyes, and fades into the burgendy color, though the majority of the dress is black and purple, and only burgendy on the edges. The dress it's self is strapless, held up by a silver cord looped aroung her neck and a silver crescent moon in the center of the bust. Her arms are decked in "wizzard's sleeves" starting just above her elbows. They are purple and burgendy with intriquite silver fillagree on the sleeves edge and silver lace peaking out from the sleeve. They are held to her arms by the silver ribbon wrapped around them. The remaining ribbon trails down and has silver moon and star charms on the end. Her feet are adorned in silver grecean style sandals that lace up to her knee and also have moon and star charms on the end of the laces. She also has a black velvet cape that she conjures up while she travels.
Fighting style: She uses black magic, including third eye magic and dark arts. She can conjure a melee weapon if needed. Her melee weapon is a intriquitely designed and carved elven rainbow crystal long sword, the silver hilt covered in onyx jewels. It's engraved with elvish scripture.
Personality: She is a fairly passive agressive person, meaning that she is set in her ways, which is often confused for her being very laid back in personality. However those who challenge her repeatedly will find that she will become just plain old aggressive and will lash out and tell you exactly what she is thinking.
She is caring and compassionate for people who don't judge her and who respect her. These people may become close to her, and for those close to her she has more empathy. However anyone who doesn't know her or dislikes her, or just feels she is a bad person will see her darker side and to them she may appear as a emotionless evil person. She has a dark sense of humor and thrives on the suffering of her enemies. She has been refered to as the living grim reaper by her enemies because of her capacity for hatred and her fighting skill.
History: She had been left alone at a young age. Her father and brother were killed in a war between another clan, and her mother overcome with greif gave up the will to live and her immortality and died. Evangel, despite the loss of the 3 people she loved most, vowed to not give in. However she isn't hell bent on revenge. She was taken in by a elven elder who lived alone deep in the forest. He was exiled from the village for practicing in the dark arts. She was affraid yet curious, like many young people are of the things they fear the most and she learned to embrace it. He became like a second father to her and taught her everything she knows today.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 6:28 am
Your character is off to a pretty good start but could use some improvements. For most RPs this profile would be enough, but we're trying to help you reach the highest standards here at the SDRP!
The two areas that your profile needs the most work on are Personality and History.
For personality, I think I get a sense of what you are trying to say, but on the surface your description of her is contradictory. Being passive aggressive is NOT conducive to speaking her mind. Maybe what you want to do instead is describe what type of situation she would speak her mind in and why this is an exception for her. Also, you describe her as a "living grim reaper" but then say that she can be empathetic. When you say something like that it makes your character overly dramatic and it sounds like you can't decide how you really want her to be. Either she's a b***h, she's a b***h except under certain circumstances, or she's not a b***h at all.
History: LOTS of characters have tragic pasts where their whole family died. However I did like how your character didn't sulk over it. I would consider giving her another reason to be apart from her family. And finally, you REALLY need to describe who that old guy is if he's so important to her life, why he was willing to teach her and what he taught her.
Hope that helps! heart
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 8:08 am
Penden Your character is off to a pretty good start but could use some improvements. For most RPs this profile would be enough, but we're trying to help you reach the highest standards here at the SDRP! The two areas that your profile needs the most work on are Personality and History. For personality, I think I get a sense of what you are trying to say, but on the surface your description of her is contradictory. Being passive aggressive is NOT conducive to speaking her mind. Maybe what you want to do instead is describe what type of situation she would speak her mind in and why this is an exception for her. Also, you describe her as a "living grim reaper" but then say that she can be empathetic. When you say something like that it makes your character overly dramatic and it sounds like you can't decide how you really want her to be. Either she's a b***h, she's a b***h except under certain circumstances, or she's not a b***h at all. History: LOTS of characters have tragic pasts where their whole family died. However I did like how your character didn't sulk over it. I would consider giving her another reason to be apart from her family. And finally, you REALLY need to describe who that old guy is if he's so important to her life, why he was willing to teach her and what he taught her. Hope that helps! heart Well what i'm trying to get across is that she's not one dimentional and that people who don't know her view her as a passive agressive b***h.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 8:26 am
I understand that and I'm trying to help you. Putting in what you just wrote would help her profile come across more the way you want it to. I've had lots of characters who were bastards, and even they aren't one-dimensional and have heart sometimes.
So putting in something like:
"People who don't know her view her as a passive aggressive b***h because she.... Yet if X happens, she will... "
Might help make it more clear. heart
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 9:07 am
Penden I understand that and I'm trying to help you. Putting in what you just wrote would help her profile come across more the way you want it to. I've had lots of characters who were bastards, and even they aren't one-dimensional and have heart sometimes. So putting in something like: "People who don't know her view her as a passive aggressive b***h because she.... Yet if X happens, she will... " Might help make it more clear. heart I know you're trying to help. smile I added some more to the personality which hopefully will clarify some things. Can you tell me if that helps at all?
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 9:11 pm
That does clarify some things! I might change around the order you mention things in before looking at adding any thing else. Depending on how much you have played the character, you may not want to work too much more on the personality before playing her. My suggestions: Quote: She is a fairly passive agressive person, meaning that she is set in her ways, which is often confused for her being very laid back in personality. However those who challenge her repeatedly will find that she will become just plain old aggressive and will lash out and tell you exactly what she is thinking She is caring and compassionate for people who don't judge her and who respect her. These people may become close to her, and for those close to her she has more empathy. However anyone who doesn't know her or dislikes her, or just feels she is a bad person will see her darker side and to them she may appear as a emotionless evil person. She has a dark sense of humor and thrives on the suffering of her enemies. She has been refered to as the living grim reaper by her enemies because of her capacity for hatred and her fighting skill. I've had people lash out at me when I was just trying to help so I wanted to make sure you knew that I was not trying to be rude. sweatdrop Thank you!
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:22 am
Penden That does clarify some things! I might change around the order you mention things in before looking at adding any thing else. Depending on how much you have played the character, you may not want to work too much more on the personality before playing her. My suggestions: Quote: She is a fairly passive agressive person, meaning that she is set in her ways, which is often confused for her being very laid back in personality. However those who challenge her repeatedly will find that she will become just plain old aggressive and will lash out and tell you exactly what she is thinking She is caring and compassionate for people who don't judge her and who respect her. These people may become close to her, and for those close to her she has more empathy. However anyone who doesn't know her or dislikes her, or just feels she is a bad person will see her darker side and to them she may appear as a emotionless evil person. She has a dark sense of humor and thrives on the suffering of her enemies. She has been refered to as the living grim reaper by her enemies because of her capacity for hatred and her fighting skill. I've had people lash out at me when I was just trying to help so I wanted to make sure you knew that I was not trying to be rude. sweatdrop Thank you! yeah, changing around the order would be best. She is the RP character I use for everything, just her profesion changes. XD she's even my D&D character. heart do you mind if I use the edit you posted?
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:38 am
Of course I don't mind! I mostly used the words you had up there already. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:32 am
Penden Of course I don't mind! I mostly used the words you had up there already. 3nodding Awsome. Thanks
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