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I think we need a new topic in here, sooo.... here ya go! biggrin

There is a saying that one should not criticize another individual until one has walked a mile in their shoes. While most often I dislike such simple sayings, this one has its value. People often criticize others. Sometimes they do so with legitimate cause, but often such judgements are angry and filled with haste, not careful consideration. We're all traped inside our own heads, and its easy to forget that others do not see things the same as we do. They lead different lives, they have had different experiences, and are under the influence of a different set of genes.

Regardless of the truth of this saying, it also has it's rediculous elements. Humans must judge to survive. We all form expectations and constructs of how the world is. We use them to guide our behavior and to predict what will happen in the future. Perhaps it is so difficult for us to walk in another's shoes because it's a defense mechanism of sorts? To keep us who we are? In that case, is it really that bad to criticize? Since we're all inveitably trapped in our own heads anyway, why reach out when it tends to shatter our personal constructs? (for those of you who aren't Kellian psych lovers, the shattering of constructs can cause immense discomfort ranging from anxiety to threat and agression).

I think criticism is more a cultural thing.

In the old days people weren't so set on complaining about things. There was a set order - if you're poor, you're poor, if you're rich, you're rich. Nobody was questioning it.

I think that fad on criticising was born in your country. Polish people aren't really used to be judged by somebody, this came to poland after we became allied with America.


People criticise because it makes them feel better and is a good way of wasting time.

If a person has to much time, and no other ability it will judge and laugh at people.
Why? Because that's the only fun he has.

1. Some people are able to handle any criticism (even "You suck!") as constructive criticism and I think that is awesome for them!

2. There is a lot of complaining (criticism). There is so much that I will assume whenever someone complains to you, ultimately you will only remember that they were whining (instead of the subject they were speaking of). If you are able to handle criticism well, then good for you, but what about the people who willingly ignore even good advice and warnings? You can criticise them as a method of a threat (that you intend to carry out if they do not listen). When they find you are serious they will sometimes listen because of fear but will otherwise work against you behind your back.

3. So what if the complaining isn't useful? I mean to ask: Why do people complain when they know the person is not going to use it constructively? For now I am assuming it is a power thing and the criticizer complains simply because they know they can get away with it and wants to flaunt the situation to build their own ego.

To reply on-topic I will say I believe timing is extremely important when using criticism. If you poorly choose your "battles" then the meaning behind your criticism will be completely lost.

And I also disagree about it being difficult to walk in the shoes of another. People usually do things for a reason so if you ask "why?" you will usually find the answer, and with experience this process becomes even easier.

edit: oops I ranted. Oh well. And to be lazy assume stuff I overlooked such as gossip ties in with part 3.

But if you avoid criticism by not doing anything, not talking and not being anything, SOMEONE could criticizse about you avoiding criticism.

I think we all need to criticise, even if we say we won't, we will criticise in our minds. I think it's unavoidable

Heh. Still, there's different kinds of criticism and some kinds, I think, are more safely ignored than others. FOr instance, we take criticism from someone we know much more personally than from a stranger.

I think part of the reason for this is also because people tend to not be entirely honest with their friends. Sad, in some ways, for being a friend is supposed to mean truer honesty, and yet we're reluctant to bring to the attention of a friend something we disagree with simply for the sake of avoiding conflict or preserving the friendship. Maybe if people were more honest in the first place, such criticism would be easier to take?

In my personal experience, criticism is usually the result of one person trying to draw attention to the faults of another, so that their own faults won't be as noticable.

I agree with Alezunde. If you wish to live your life, you're going to be a target of critics. It's simply unavoidable.

The man has it figured out. wink