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prettykitty83105

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 4:06 pm


My Wonderous Walk

As I walk through this place
Something in my mind is no longer at pace
As I wonder through the halls of this abanded house
I see the demented eyes of the mouse
As I stare out into the darkness night
My legs lock because of the fearfull fright
As I hear the screams of the people coming for me
I noticed that no one is no longer free
As I feel the hatered in others in my heart
I understand that belivefs is what set us apart
As I sence their presence near me greatly
I can't see why they do all of which so gracefully
As I realize that people are somewhat blind
Why do they shove out what has been so kind
As I live through out my years
I see that so many people shead too many painful tears
As I try to spread the word of God
So many people turn away and just nod
As I try to help these people
They only shove me away and say its unbelivible
Some will come, Some will go
But no matter what you must try before you'll ever know.....


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what do you think?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:34 pm


Sorry it's taken me so long to post on this....Anyway, it's really good. I like the last phrase best about having to try before you can know. It reminds me that sometimes just because I don't think that my friends will listen, I can't just keep quiet because of that. Keep it up.

metocloud
Vice Captain


prettykitty83105

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:31 pm


thank you, It took me for like ever to do to, I'm glad someone likes my work.
PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 3:49 am


Hehe...I know what you mean about it taking forever to do. I can spend hours or days on a poem sometimes...while I've also only taken a few minutes on others. It can be frustrating sometimes, but it was worth the time you put into it.

metocloud
Vice Captain


still_tipsy_chan

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 5:58 pm


i like it. and of corse metocloud is in here..shouldda known....ohz and thanx for posting on my poem...i love criticism weather its good or bad...!
PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:33 pm


metocloud
Hehe...I know what you mean about it taking forever to do. I can spend hours or days on a poem sometimes...while I've also only taken a few minutes on others. It can be frustrating sometimes, but it was worth the time you put into it.


Yeah I hate that then you get writers block for days then they all pore out on you.....

prettykitty83105


metocloud
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:39 pm


still_tipsy_chan
i like it. and of corse metocloud is in here..shouldda known....
You know, you're about the fifth person to comment on my presence in this forum...is that a bad thing?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:50 pm


I liked the poem, because, like Amber, I feel the same way

cherrilie__x
Vice Captain


cherrilie__x
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:52 pm


metocloud
still_tipsy_chan
i like it. and of corse metocloud is in here..shouldda known....
You know, you're about the fifth person to comment on my presence in this forum...is that a bad thing?


Why yes, it means you'll be facing a drugged Es later on. I kid, I kid. I wouldn't do that to you.

Oh snap! Mew just leaped on Aoshi! -runs off to help him- Stop poking MewMew! And OMG, ew! Dont do that! gonk
PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:42 pm


What is it with your characters and them ending up in...compromising situations.

metocloud
Vice Captain


cherrilie__x
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:40 pm


...I dont know, I guess it's because I have pyscho friends who like to create compromising situations
PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:10 pm


Blame it on your friends...sure.

metocloud
Vice Captain


cherrilie__x
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:17 pm


hehe

and today she head banged in his brain and took Es and herself into his mouth
PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:22 pm


What the...? Don't explain it.

metocloud
Vice Captain


cherrilie__x
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:34 pm


lmao, good, cause it's a tad but queer xp
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Saints: The Poetry Forum

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